Nasim Joon
by BrownEyedDreamWeaver
Summary: College is when you discover who you truly are and the kind of person you want to be. Put an uptight Christian with a roommate who is a little different and see what happens. Eventual Faberry w/ hints of Brittana, Quick, and Artina.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I in anyway affiliated with Glee. Fox and Ryan Murphy get the props for that. I am merely a poor person with nothing to give other than my words about their characters. Please don't sue. Thanks!**

**Chapter One**

Nervous could've been the understatement of the year. Petrified? Anxious? Scared out of her mind? Yes, yes, and actually all of the above.

What if she hated it? What if she didn't make friends? What if her roommate sucked? What if her roommate thought she sucked? What if her classes were hard? What if she failed? Who failed out of college? Her dad definitely wouldn't like that. What if she got lost on campus? What if her room was weird? What if it smelled? What if the other people on her floor just wanted to party all the time and she had tests to study for? What if she had a test on the first day?

"You ready for this?" Quinn's dad asked, interrupting her internal monologue.

Quinn swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded.

"You sure? You look kind of freaked out. No worries though, Q. You'll probably just be a total outsider, make no friends, lose your scholarship, and flunk out of a state school," Frannie teased.

Why Quinn's older sister felt the need to torture her before her first day of college, the younger girl would never really know. Quinn and her sister had never been particularly close. She was always Daddy's little princess and Mommy's angel. Her older sister, Frannie, however, was the golden child who made perfect grades in high school and was quickly accepted into every school of her choosing, including Harvard where she currently attended college. Quinn wasn't quite as fortunate. Her father had been a Harvard man. Her mother had gone to Harvard as well. Quinn, despite her best efforts, didn't get accepted into Harvard. She had excellent grades. She had the extra curriculars. She had been captain of the Cheerios after all. She studied and studied for the SAT's, yet despite all of that, she didn't score up to Harvard's standards. Landing her not only in the land of disappointment in the eyes of her parents, but also in a state university instead of an Ivy League school. Ohio State University. Sue Sylvester, her former cheerleading coach, had pulled a lot of strings to get the girl several scholarships and make sure her education was completely paid for. It wasn't enough. Russell and Judy were still disappointed that their little girl wasn't going to Harvard. Full ride to OSU couldn't compare to the endless student loans of her older sister continuing the Fabray legacy at Harvard.

"Frannie, are you ready for your last year at Harvard?" Quinn's mother asked, sending a slight glare at the older girl who was doing nothing to ease her sister's nerves.

"Of course, Mother. I'm just happy we don't start until next week so I could be here for Quinnie's big college debut," Frannie grinned.

Quinn's parents both smiled at their perfect daughter while Quinn fought the urge to simultaneously roll her eyes and vomit on her sister.

"I'm sure Quinnie will do wonderfully at…Ohio State," Judy replied, barely choking out the name of the school.

Quinn sighed and slouched deeper into the backseat, wishing the world would just open up and swallow her whole.

"Sweetheart, don't slouch," Russell grumbled from the driver's seat, glancing at his daughter in the rear view mirror.

"Yes, Daddy," Quinn dutifully replied and sat up straight again, staring out the window at all of the dorms and other students that passed by.

Maybe she could start over at OSU. No one would know her. Nobody would care who the Fabrays were. She wasn't planning on being a cheerleader anymore. Maybe she could be just Quinn, whoever the hell 'Just Quinn' turned out to be. She could slouch all she wanted. She could, God forbid, misbehave. Get drunk, even. No one at Ohio State would have any idea what kind of legacy she was expected to live up to because there wasn't a Fabray legacy to live up to at Ohio State. Maybe she could be exactly like all of those kids she could see out her window. Carefree and ready to have fun in college, occasionally learning something in a few classes along the way. She wouldn't have to be Quinn Fabray, Captain of the Cheerios, President of Celibacy Club, Daddy's Little Princess, and Mommy's Darling Angel. This could be her fresh start. This year would be all about discovering the real Quinn Fabray!

AN: I guess this was more of a prologue than chapter one, but whatever. Hope you enjoy! Reviews are appreciated. Thank you, come again! (yes that was a Harold and Kumar reference...forget White Castle, lets' get some strippers. Man I love NPH) Also the title comes from an O.A.R. song...it really has nothing to do with this story but I suck at coming up with titles unless I've finished the story and this one has just been floating around in my brain. So I put my iTunes on shuffle to find a title...meh, it'll do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Glee…but wouldn't it be cool if I did. **

**Chapter 2**

After parking the car as far away from the dorms and vandalizing students, according to her father, Quinn, Frannie, and their parents ventured across campus to her dorm. The butterflies in her stomach tripled as they stood in front of her dorm, her new home for at least the next year. Clark Tower. Sounded like paradise…not really. Maybe looks were deceiving. Maybe her room would be nice. This was going to be her year after all. She could make the best of it.

324. Quinn's new room. Climbing the three flights of stairs with boxes was the dumbest idea her mother could ever have, but that's Judy. Always impatient and always concerned with healthy choices like physical activity being good for the soul, despite the fact that she drank herself stupid every other night of the week. Her father swore they would take the elevator for the next load…he also promised to move the car closer to her dorm and chance it with the young vandals.

"You're such an ass. I don't know why I even put up with you. If I could, I'd chop off your man bits and sell them to someone who would actually use them," a voice rang out from within the room.

Judy looked at the brunette skeptically. The young blonde shrugged before gently pushing the door open the rest of the way. The room was smaller than she had expected. There were two beds and two dressers along with what she assumed to be a closet and a door to the bathroom. Apparently, they had to share the bathroom with their suitemates next door. There on the bed to the left sat the other half of the "their," a petite brunette with cute bangs and nice slightly tan skin.

"Hello," Judy spoke first as all four Fabrays studied the tiny girl.

"Oh hello. You must Quinn?" the brunette asked, beaming.

"Yeah. I'm Quinn. Quinn Fabray."

"Rachel. Rachel Berry…your roommate, I guess," she stood up quickly and shoved the boy back down on the bed as she made her way over and proudly stuck out her hand.

Quinn tried to maneuver the box in her arms to shake the offered hand but only manage to drop her belongings before smiling sheepishly.

"Let me help you with that," the boy grinned, practically springing into action before anyone even had a chance to realize what happened.

"I'm Puck, by the way. Noah Puckerman," the boy, Noah, laughed as he grabbed Quinn's box and put it on the bed to the right.

"I'm terribly sorry. You must think I have no manners. I already staked my claim. I hope you're okay with the left side. I can easily switch, if you'd prefer the right," Rachel offered.

"I'm fine with the left," Quinn replied, glancing around the room again.

"Yeah, Rach. She's fine with the left. Chill out. Don't want to scare the girl off with your crazy on the first day," Puck teased.

"Shut it, Puckerman," Rachel rolled her eyes at the boy.

Noah was pretty muscular. Definitely a jock. He had short brown hair shaved into what appeared to be a Mohawk. He also had a nice tan from either a good summer at the beach or a summer spent on a farm in Ohio. Quinn thought her roommate certainly had good taste in men, though she had never personally been a huge fan of the bad boy type.

"I'm Judy, Quinn's mother," Judy chimed in, shaking Rachel's hand.

"Russell, Quinn's father" her dad did the same.

"It's very nice to meet you both. I assure you that you have nothing to worry about. I plan to keep a very strict study schedule and will not keep your daughter up late nights partying or having people over when we both should be sleeping or preparing for our classes. I've always been a very good student and I'm an incredibly considerate housemate," Rachel rambled.

"Yeah. She's not a weirdo," Frannie mumbled, before her younger sister glared at her as the tiny brunette flushed.

"Do you need help with your stuff?" Puck asked with a grin, practically leering at Quinn.

"I thought _you_ were leaving," Rachel glared.

"What? I'm a friendly guy, Rach. It's polite to help your roommate move in. It's called manners," Puck grinned again.

"Stop showing off and go back to your own room. Aren't you supposed to be at the gym or something?" Rachel hissed quietly before flashing a polite smile to Quinn's parents.

"Easy, tiger. No need for the meathead type jokes yet. It's barely past noon."

"Oh I'm sorry. I forgot the rule. Can't start that until at least one," Rachel rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him, he suffers from several different kinds of stupidity. But if you need help, I'm sure he'd be happy to carry something. He is good for heavy lifting, if nothing else."

"Actually there are a few more boxes in the car and another suitcase," Russell shrugged.

"Great," Puck followed him out.

"Heavy lifting's not really my thing. As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm a little on the petite side. I'm fantastic with the decorating aspects though, if you need any help with that," Rachel offered with a quick shrug.

"I'm sure I can handle it," Quinn replied slowly, not sure how to take the fast-talking, over exuberant girl.

"I'll leave you alone. I know I can talk a lot and my fathers say I'm a little abrasive. I'll just listen to my music and be out of your way."

Quinn nodded meekly, mentally pausing at Rachel's use of fathers, as in plural. The other girl just smiled sheepishly before picking up her iPod and putting on her earphones. Judy and Quinn shared a look while Frannie started laughing.

"Looks like you found yourself a winner, Quinn," Frannie smirked before she left to find Russell and Puck.

Rachel continued to tune them out as Quinn and her mother attempted to unpack. Puck and Russell returned with a few more boxes before Russell announced that there were still a couple more. Puck smiled at Quinn broadly and winked before he followed the older man out again. Rachel huffed loudly and rolled her eyes once Puck left. She ripped the earpieces off and tossed the iPod on her bed before staring at the two blondes. Quinn couldn't help but blush at the way the brunette was studying them.

"Are you positive that you don't need any assistance?" Rachel asked.

Quinn sighed deeply, fighting the urge to snap at her slightly annoying roommate.

"Where are you from, Rachel?" Judy began her 100 questions game.

"Lima, Ohio," she answered unenthusiastically.

"Ohio? We're from Ohio as well, just outside of Cleveland. I don't know why my daughter felt the need to come to a state university, instead of an Ivy League just because she couldn't go to Harvard, but we're making it work."

"Mom, don't start," Quinn muttered.

She raised an eyebrow at her daughter and the girl shut up immediately. Quinn wasn't sure who was more disappointed in her. Her father was always harder on her and expected the most from her. He was never afraid to show when she had disappointed him. Her mother, however, would never directly say she was disappointed. She would simply make snide comments; usually they followed a few glasses of gin. The whole OSU/Harvard debacle seemed to up the snide comments even without liquid courage.

"Ivy League? That's…interesting. So you all have an Ivy League history?" Rachel asked innocently.

Quinn, however, didn't buy it. Though she couldn't tell if the brunette was mocking her family's legacy or Quinn's lack of said legacy. This would be a long year if this tiny girl continued to openly mock her.

"Actually, Quinn's older sister Frannie is graduating from Harvard this year which is where her father and I both went to school. Russell and I were in law school. Now Frannie will be finishing law there as well."

"Oh that's fascinating. You're a lawyer? Is that what you're going into, Quinn? Following in your family's footsteps?" Rachel asked, eyes wide with curiosity and excitement.

"I-," Quinn started to explain that she didn't want to have anything to do with the practice of law but her mother interrupted.

"Quinnie's still undecided for the time being, but she does have law-school blood."

"Oh, of course. Law-school blood. That almost like a serious genetic disorder, but it will be quite nice to have someone around in case my acting career plummets and I somehow end up in jail," Rachel laughed, then quickly backtracked realizing her audience was not amused. "I'm sorry. Daddy told me not make jokes on the first day. I have an inappropriate sense of humor and have been told that I'm actually not that humorous."

Quinn's mother looked horrified while Quinn barely kept in her own chuckle. The tiny girl was a motor mouth with no censor. The brunette clearly couldn't stop her mouth from saying whatever entered her mind. Judging from the coloring of her cheeks, Quinn was sure the brunette didn't mean to openly mock her family's legacy as a genetic disorder, but merely couldn't keep her rambling in check.

"What are you majoring in?" Judy questioned.

"Music and acting. I've been trained for musical theatre my entire life," Rachel replied.

"Oh…that's…interesting."

"Yes, I've been taking vocal lessons since the tender age of three as well as many forms of dance since I learned to walk. Dad always loved the arts and thought dance lessons would help my coordination. Daddy thought singing lessons were pertinent once I began talking and wouldn't stop. Little did he know, by teaching me to sing I would do that just much as I used my verbose vocabulary," Rachel beamed.

"So your father supports your choice of career?"

The brunette nodded.

"And your mother? She supports this as well?" Judy questioned incredulously.

"My mother was a singer and actress as well. I'm not sure if she would be as supportive knowing the struggles of the field herself, but I believe with my talent she would understand that I have no other choice in life. "

"She's not around anymore?"

Judy gave the brunette a look of almost disgust and worry. Quinn could clearly read her mother's thoughts. She was judging Rachel already. Singer? Actress? Absent mother? She was clearly headed for a Bohemian style life full of drugs and bad decisions. Quinn's mother looked at the girl as she was a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.

"No, she actually passed away about two years ago."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine. I never actually knew her so I don't even know what to miss," Rachel replied honestly.

"Talking about your mom," Puck smiled as he walked back into the room.

"You know me. Can't shut up about Shelby," Rachel sighed.

"It's kinda cool knowing the child of a Broadway star, right?" Puck chuckled.

"Broadway star?" naturally Judy had to pipe in.

"Shelby Corcoran. She won like a Tony or something, didn't she Rach," Puck supplied.

"Oh," was Judy's short reply.

"No, she was nominated, Noah. She didn't win."

Judy was horrified. Everyone knew the story of Shelby Corcoran. She was a small town girl from Ohio who made it to New York City. She eventually made her way to Broadway where she had one critically acclaimed role in which she played a heroin addict in some big musical. She was indeed nominated for a Tony but lost. That wasn't the reason she was infamous to all of those from Ohio. Most small towns in America never pay attention to Broadway stars unless you had a wannabe Broadway starlet living in your own house. However, everyone pays attention to the horrible 'dreams gone so wrong' stories. Shelby was famous for actually being a heroin addict. Rumor had it, Shelby was so far gone at the Tony's that she attempted to go on stage to give her acceptance speech when she lost. The Fabrays never watched the Tony's, of course. Awards shows celebrating unrealistic careers in the arts were not to be watched in their household. However, that didn't mean Quinn's mother hadn't heard from her church group about the infamous Shelby Corcoran from small town Ohio who embarrassed the entire state with her antics and overdosed only a few short months later.

"Anyway, how do you like Columbus so far?" Puck asked, changing the subject.

"That should be the last of your things, Princess," Russell stated dropping Quinn's box on the floor as soon as he entered the room.

Judy silently communicated with him that they needed to discuss Quinn's new roommate. Russell sent a quick glance to the small brunette before turning back to Judy.

"Anything else you can think of, Princess? Or should we take off?'

"I'm fine, Daddy. Thank you," Quinn smiled.

"Are you sure, Quinnie?" Judy asked, eyeing Rachel carefully.

Quinn nodded while Rachel seemed to deflate entirely under the watch of the blonde's parents.

"What's going on?" Russell asked.

"Nothing," Judy replied, glancing to her daughter to gage the situation.

"So Rachel what does your father do?" Russell questioned, thinking he had solved whatever mystery had his wife so upset.

Rachel blanched momentarily.

"My Dad is a psychiatrist," Rachel answered, before swallowing and pleading to Noah with her eyes not to speak.

"And the other one's the head of the Lima ER. No worries Mr. and Mrs. Fabray. Her mom sucked but her dads are great guys," Puck stated proudly.

"Dads?' Russell's face started turning red.

"Sorry to interrupt, father, but I believe you're getting a parking ticket," Frannie entered unaware of the tension in the room.

Russell's eyes blazed before he stormed out of the room.

"Call us later and let us know how you're doing. If you need anything I'm sure we can talk to the housing department," Judy added hugging Quinn and kissing her head.

"What did I miss?" Frannie laughed in shock.

"Mom and Dad are leaving. Go," Quinn ordered.

"Whatever, Brat. Don't get kicked out of a state school."

With that, the Fabrays left. The room was silent. Rachel looked like she wanted to be anywhere but that room. Quinn wished she was anywhere but that room. Puck looked confused.

"Sorry about that. My parents are a little…over-bearing," Quinn finally spoke up.

"Nah it's cool. They're just being parental," Puck grinned at the blonde in a way that made her want to blush a little.

How could he do that in front of his girlfriend? She didn't really seem to mind though. Rachel just picked up a book and attempted to ignore both of them.

"Your dad said your sister goes Harvard, right?" Puck sat down on Rachel's dresser.

"Yes she's living the Fabray legacy and I'm here…escaping it, I guess," Quinn smiled a little, finally breathing again.

"Speaking of escaping, did you escape from a boyfriend back in Cleveland?"

"Way to be casual," Rachel chuckled under her breath.

"It's an innocent question," Puck defended, flushing slightly.

"It's not an innocent question coming from you."

Rachel shut her book and threw it on her computer desk as she crossed to the bathroom.

"No, it wouldn't be innocent if it came from _you_. Not all of us are whores, Rach," Puck smirked.

"You wish, Puckerman," Rachel retorted as she opened the bathroom door.

Whores? Weren't they dating? Why would he call her a whore?

"You guys aren't together?" Quinn asked slowly.

"Ew," Rachel replied, halting all motion. "Noah is definitely not my type."

"You lean to the more feminine, don't ya Rach," Puck smirked.

"Jocks not your thing?" Quinn giggled. "I figured all girls enjoy a nice jock."

"Do you?" Puck asked, making her want to blush again.

"Maybe."

"Ok. This conversation is officially making me want to throw up and considering the fact that I had a special Vegan breakfast, I don't think that's something anyone wants to see regurgitated. So as entertaining as your flirting is, Nature calls," Rachel snapped before slamming the door shut.

"Don't mind Rach. She's just naturally bitchy when people talk about her family stuff," Puck rolled his eyes.

"And here I was thinking she didn't like me."

"I don't have a problem with you but I won't pretend that my fathers are less than human just because they're gay. There's nothing wrong with being homosexual and if you have an issue with it, I suggest you find other housing arrangements," Rachel replied, re-entering the room.

AN: I decided to go ahead and put up the second chapter. It's been a productive day. Taking a sick day from work today could result in a 3rd and possibly 4th chapter today or tomorrow. Enjoy! Please review. Thank you, come again!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Glee. Yay for me...or not.**

**Chapter 3**

Later that day, Quinn had unpacked one suitcase, still unsure if she should stay or move. She knew her parents would be furious. However, she wasn't sure she wanted to move. Ohio State was her legacy now, not her family's. She said she was going to start fresh here. Maybe she should stick it out and try to change some of her own views. Puck had stayed in the dorm all day talking with Quinn and occasionally picking on Rachel, who had decided not to engage Quinn in any conversation until the girl decided if she could be friends with someone who had homosexual fathers.

"Knock, knock," came a familiar voice from the doorway.

"Sam!" Quinn shrieked in surprise.

"Just checking up on my neighbor. How's the move-in?" the tall blonde boy grinned while walking into the room.

"All in, just not unpacked. The fabulous Fabrays finally left about an hour ago."

"Yeah I saw them before they left. Your sister nearly attacked me in a hug. I thought Frannie hated me. Your dad even shook my hand."

"I guess they were just as happy as I am to see a familiar face," Quinn laughed.

"And who are you?" Sam asked, practically drooling at Rachel.

"Rachel Berry. Quinn's new roommate. And you are?" Rachel asked.

"Sam Evans. I grew up right down the street from Quinn," the Beiber wannabe grinned, nodding his head approvingly at Rachel.

"Oh, I'm very sorry but I'm not interested," Rachel replied immediately.

"Your boyfriend," Sam gestured to Puck. "Sorry man."

"No," Rachel and Puck replied at the same time.

"Ew," Rachel reiterated. "Why does everyone think that? He's disgusting."

"Sweet," Sam replied with a smirk.

"Not sweet…unless you're hiding a vagina in your gym shorts," Puck laughed while Rachel blanched.

"What?" Sam uttered in shock.

"I'm terribly sorry Quinn. I guess I should have mentioned that earlier. In a totally clichéd, furthering the stereotype of raised by gays you become one, Noah is not just attempting to infuriate me. I am in fact a lesbian. I hope that this hasn't become too much for you to deal with, but I like girls," Rachel replied, before tossing Sam an apologetic glance.

"You're a…but that's not fair."

"To who? Most of the lesbians, all two of them, that I have encountered didn't seem to mind."

Quinn's roommate was a lesbian. The blonde's brain short circuited. Maybe Rachel was joking. It wouldn't be the first time a girl had pretended to be gay to avoid being hit on by Sam. Although, it would explain the whole being disgusted by both boys thing.

"But when you say you're a lesbian, does that mean you've sworn off _**all**_ guys?" Sam questioned.

"Sam!" Quinn snapped. He could be such an idiot.

"It means she like girls…not guys," Puck answered, smirking as he clearly envisioned two women together.

Sam just stood there like a fish out of water just opening and closing his mouth.

"That's hot," the blonde boy finally cracked a smile.

"Not that I'm frequently engaging in sexual activity, but if I were to do so…you can't watch," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on. I wasn't even going there."

"You were already there. Don't even bother denying it. You had that glossed over look Noah gets whenever his head goes to naughty places," Rachel groaned nodding toward Puck who indeed had a glossed over look momentarily.

"Hey I can't help it if I appreciate the female form. Double the female form and my mind just goes blank," Puck grinned.

"Don't you have practice or something to get to?" Rachel inquired, quirking an eyebrow and looking a cross between pissed and just annoyed.

"Fine," Puck sighed.

"Practice? You play football?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Tight end."

"Me too. Tight end."

"Then we should probably get going. I've heard Coach is the hardest on the new players the first week. I wouldn't want you to sit the bench without letting my skills be the reason you're there," Puck explained as Sam left the room.

"You wish," Sam retorted.

"Just watch out, Quinn. Rachel likes to break them in," Puck laughed before Rachel launched a well-aimed iPod at his head.

"Shut up. You're the only promiscuous person around here. I haven't- I don't- just get out before I catch something from breathing your air," Rachel glared.

Puck just shook his head grinning. He smiled at Quinn again before ducking out of the room.

Quinn had no idea what just happened in her new room. She hadn't even unpacked yet and she really didn't know if she should stay or go. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was racing. First, she found out about the two dads thing as if that wasn't enough for her close-minded uber Christian upbringing. But now...her roommate was a lesbian? Were there a lot of lesbians in college? God, this was so not her family's Harvard experience that her mother had gone on and on about. Her father had done a thorough background check on all of her possible roommates to ensure the best match. She was supposed to be with a good little, straight Christian girl. She wouldn't be surprised if Rachel was Jewish or something to top it all off.

"I believe Noah is interested in you," Rachel spoke up after a long silence.

"Sam's into you," Quinn countered with a small laugh.

"Ew. Not that he isn't mildly attractive…but ew."

"Yeah sorry."

"I did say I was gay, right? I didn't just imagine that."

Quinn took a deep breath before replying, "Yeah. You might have mentioned it."

"You can always request a room change. I know from your background this probably a culture shock for you. I wouldn't expect you to stick around. Plus I'm used to being alone. You can't have two openly gay fathers in a small town and have a lot of friends. I think Noah originally only hung out with me because his mother wanted him to find a nice Jewish girl."

"You're Jewish?" Quinn gasped.

Rachel grimaced. This was not going well.

"I understand if you're uncomfortable. I'm sure we're complete opposites. You have a wholesome Christian upbringing. I'm a Jewish lesbian with two fathers. My mother was a disaster and anyone who knows about her only knows the mistakes she made. I'm sure I'm not at all what you expected from a roommate. I won't hold it against you if you feel that you would prefer other livings arrangements. I had a different roommate originally but she declined before we even finished sorting out who would bring the microwave."

"Um…no…it's not that…it's just…a little uncomfortable…but it's fine…our room's fine, Rachel."

Insert awkward silence. Quinn shrugged weakly and began to unpack. She could feel the other girl's eyes on her but kept her back turned. Finally Rachel gave up and put her headphones back on. The music was loud enough that Quinn could make out a swelling orchestra and an epic Broadway ballad. Quinn glanced at her over her shoulder. Rachel's eyes were shut and a slight frown crinkled her forehead.

It was Quinn first good look at her roommate. She was definitely gorgeous, in a more exotic way than Quinn's perfect Barbie blonde look. She had a great figure. Quinn briefly wondered how often Rachel worked out. She bet the brunette had great abs hidden underneath her sweater. Rachel also had a really cute nose, too. A little unconventional but it fit her. Certainly the type of girl Sam would go after. He and Quinn had attempted a relationship in high school but soon realized they were far too much alike. After a few months of dating, they ended it, but remained friends. It was too weird dating. They almost looked like siblings. After that, he went for more exotic looking girls, always brunettes. He'd probably still go after Rachel gay or not. Sam was very sweet but not always the brightest crayon in the box. Suddenly, Rachel opened her eyes and caught Quinn staring.

"So you really think your friend was into me?" Rachel spoke up, reading Quinn's mind.

Rachel wasn't used to being sought after. She had a brief moment of popularity toward the end of her junior year of high school and the very beginning of senior year while she had been dating the star quarterback. However, any hint of popularity vanished as soon as she had been forced out of the closet.

"He's not the type to take 'gay' for an answer. He's a little slow on the uptake sometimes. He was practically drooling over you as soon as he walked in the door," Quinn said a little more bitterly than she intended to.

Apparently Quinn openly saying "gay" was all Rachel needed to latch on to in order to think Quinn was now okay with this situation. Rachel was off about gay rights in a heartbeat and spouting out so much information Quinn thought her head might explode.

"And what is it with guys thinking that the term lesbian means 'just waiting for _you_ to come along'? I mean I like girls. That's not some trick to make you think I'm hotter. That's not an invitation for you to watch. And that's certainly not code for 'experimentation' while holding out for the perfect man. I'm not waiting for the perfect guy. I'm looking for the perfect girl…so to speak. God, men are stupid. And they wonder why I prefer women. Makes it almost worth the slushies to the face every day just for being who I am. I think it'd be worse to have to pretend to date somebody who I had no romantic interest in. I'm so glad we can talk about these things. You looked a little freaked at first and I thought 'oh no homophobic roommate' but now…now you really pale," Rachel finished uneasily.

An awkward silence fell over the room….Quinn would be fine with this. She didn't even care if Rachel was gay. She could like whomever she wanted to like. It was none of Quinn's business.

The blonde was brought out of her musings by a loud, angry huff from her roommate. Rachel stared at the other girl as if waiting for some unknown response to her confession of lesbianism. Quinn was at a loss for words. Suddenly, Rachel huffed again as if disappointed in the blonde.

"Listen, if you stay out of my way and I'll be more than happy to stay out of yours. We can keep to our own business and this will work out fine. Most evenings I plan on being in rehearsal anyway and will have classes all day so you won't have to deal with me. I thought college would be different…I was incorrect. Don't worry though. I have years of practice staying away from those who don't practically enjoy me. I won't be an inconvenience, Miss Fabray."

"An inconvenience?" Quinn asked meekly.

Rachel sighed, "You're not looking for a best friend here. I'm actually not looking for a friend at all, either. I did just fine in high school without any friends. Noah wouldn't even acknowledge me in public so I'm no stranger to close-minded individuals who are uncomfortable with me and my fathers. Don't worry. I won't try to convert you. I'm only here to get a few roles and build up my acting credits until I can transfer to Julliard. They were hesitant to take me based upon my biological history so to speak. If you would prefer a roommate who is up for all night slumber parties, talking about boys, and beings best friends, you might want to switch now. I don't expect you to be okay with me so I will try to stay out of your life as much as possible while we're both sharing the same living quarters. The less we have to communicate, probably the better. Right?"

"Oh I don't- it's a lot to process…I admit I may be slightly uncomfortable at the moment but…it doesn't matter to me…that you're…you know."

"Right. You just can't even say the word gay without cringing. It's okay. I'm really good at staying out of everyone's way. I'm also really good at being on my own. So don't worry about it. It's cool. We don't have to be friends. I'll try to make myself as scarce as possible."

"Rachel-," Quinn started.

"Great. Later, roomie," Rachel smiled halfheartedly and quickly darted out of the room, leaving Quinn to wonder what the hell just happened.

_AN: Cranked out another one. Enjoy. Please review! Thank you, come again!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

**Chapter 4**

Classes had officially started and Rachel stuck to her plan for the first few weeks. She would get up, go to class, and stay out of the dorm all day only to return late at night after Quinn was already in bed. Rachel went to the library in between classes or spent her free time in an empty rehearsal studio singing and playing the piano. Quinn had tried to apologize twice for whatever she did to offend her that first day. She even attempted idle chit chat in their passing. Rachel had merely told her that the blonde didn't need to pretend to be her friend just because they were roommates. After that interaction, Quinn decided if Rachel didn't want to be friends than she was Quinn's enemy. Quinn had vowed that college would be the place to start over. She didn't need to be the HBIC anymore and tear other people down just to feel good about herself. However, something about Rachel's brush off left the blonde feeling strange. She had made up her mind to make Rachel's life hell just as Quinn Fabray, HBIC, would do.

The night before Quinn planned to put Operation Ruin Rachel Berry into motion the tiny brunette crept into their room. Quinn had the lights off and was lying in bed silently, pretending to be asleep. Rachel tiptoed across the room and began gathering her items for the shower. Blue light filled the room as Rachel's phone went off. Quinn quickly shut her eyes.

"Shit," Rachel hissed, grabbing the phone and silencing it before running to the bathroom.

With the door cracked, Quinn could make out Rachel's side of the conversation.

"Hey Daddy…everything's great…my classes are wonderful….yes, my teachers are impressed…no…yes…well, two of them had private conferences with me concerning Shelby…no, I told them the truth. I never knew her. She gave me up for adoption as soon as I was born and I've never had anything to do with her…I know…it's not fair," Rachel choked on the last word.

Quinn held her breath in the silence that followed as Rachel's father was apparently lecturing his daughter.

"No I know it's not my problem…I just wish they'd give me a chance. Isn't it bad enough I'm stuck at OSU instead of Julliard…no, Daddy. It's fine here….my roommate's great…yes, Daddy…she's a great friend…you shouldn't worry so much. It can't be healthy…well tell Dad not to worry either. I've made several wonderful friends…this isn't high school anymore, Daddy. I wouldn't pretend I made friends if I hadn't actually made friends….Mercedes, Tina, and Quinn…yes my roommate…and you remember Brittany and Artie…we all have a lunch group…well Noah is the ring leader but naturally my presence is heard and greatly appreciated…yes, Daddy you were right it's definitely better than high school…I should go. My roommate wants to watch a movie before bed…I love you too and tell Dad I love him as well…good night," Rachel sighed.

She knew about Quinn's lunch group? She never ate with them. She lied to her fathers about who her friends were. Did she even have any? Why would she lie to them? Did she really have it that bad in high school?

Quinn's thoughts were interrupted by a loud sniff from the bathroom. Rachel was crying softly with the occasional sniff breaking the silence of their dorm.

If this girl wanted friends that badly, why wouldn't she let Quinn just be her friend?

"Just ignore, Rach. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything. She's never really had any friends and she gets defensive. So for some reason she thinks it's best if you both don't really speak. I'd just give up if I were you. She doesn't think you guys should be friends," Puck explained, shrugging lamely.

She and Puck had been eating in the cafeteria again with their group of friends. Quinn had searched over her shoulder every few minutes to see if she could spot a lonely Rachel. She had to know about their lunch group somehow and Quinn wasn't going to let the other girl sulk any longer.

"But why? If I didn't do anything to make her hate me, then why is she like this? Why does she hate me?"

"She doesn't hate you…she's just really guarded."

"Not with you apparently," Quinn whined.

"We used to date so she has to like somebody," he replied casually.

"You and Rachel?" Quinn sputtered out, nearly choking on her water.

"Yeah."

"But you're a guy."

"Yeah," he replied. "But that wasn't always an issue for Rach. Back in high school, we were both two totally different people."

"So you used to be a girl?" Quinn teased, stealing a fry from Puck's plate.

Puck grinned and shook his head. They'd been spending a lot of time together since that first day. He'd become on of Quinn's closest friends at school. Plus through him, she'd meet her other friends like Artie, Mercedes, Tina, and of course Brittany. Brittany had quickly become Quinn's best friend. The girl was on the dance team and though she was a little spacey and strange at times, she was the sweetest girl Quinn had ever known.

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of being gay?" Quinn asked bluntly.

"Thus they're not together _**now**_," Artie laughed.

Artie had gone to high school with Puck and Brittany. Tina had gone to a rival high school but knew of the three previously. She and Artie had been dancing around their feelings for each other since school began. Mercedes and Tina actually knew each other and Rachel from show choir competitions. Tina was a drama major and had several classes with Rachel. Mercedes was studying music so she also had classes with the tiny diva.

"Oh…and you guys are still friends? Isn't that…" Mercedes trailed off.

"Awkward? Nah. She's a hot Jew. I'm a hot Jew. People like us are either lovers or best friends. With Rach being into chicks, it just makes sense that we're buds instead. She's like my bro. Besides, we broke up in the tenth grade."

"So she's been out since high school?' Quinn asked curiously.

"Senior year after she and Finn broke up," Puck confirmed.

"Now that would be the awkward ex-boyfriend to talk to," Artie added, with a slight chuckle.

"How so?"

"Let's just say Rachel's coming out was a little sudden and unexpected. Hudson didn't even see it coming and we can just leave it at that," Puck stated, sending a warning glance at everyone at their table.

"Okay. What am I missing?"

"It was just awkward...not just the break up of the 'super-couple' but also Rachel's whole coming out thing. I mean she went from a nobody to the quarterback's girlfriend to practically queen of the school to a nobody again…but now it's cool. No one worries about it anymore. This is college," Puck explained as he grimaced at the lumpy mashed potatoes he kept poking with his spoon.

Quinn watched him curiously as he shoveled food into his mouth. She'd never noticed how disgusting it was to actually watch a guy eat. Mercedes started rambling on about this cute guy in one of her classes while Tina responded in all of the right places. Arties exchanged glances with Tina whenever Mercedes started to ramble on too long about some 'nice dark chocolate'. Quinn started to study their little group. They all came together pretty easily without really stopping to think about how it happened. Unknowingly, Rachel was the key that connected all of them.

Puck obviously went to high school with Rachel, Brittany, and Artie, which is why he was in the girls' room that first day that Quinn met him. Rachel was right about Puck liking Quinn. He kept showing up at their dorm the first few days of classes and offering to show her around.

Brittany came into the picture because she and Puck are good friends through Rachel. Brittany had been a cheerleader and incredibly popular. She and Rachel were never close in school. When Puck started hanging out with Rachel after they had decided they worked better as friends, he started bringing the tiny diva to parties. She and Brittany became acquaintances but still were never really that close. It was his friendship with Rachel, however, that changed him from a crazy horndog to a decent guy, which is when he started being closer friends with Brittany senior year. Puck dated her best friend Santana for a while, but nobody really talks about Santana. All that was said was she and Brittany used to be best friends, the girl dated Puck, hated Rachel, and then dated Finn. Apparently she was on OSU's cheerleading squad but ignored all of them.

Artie was in the jazz band in high school. He knew Rachel from glee club, which his jazz band often worked with. Rachel had convinced Puck to join glee. The two boys hit it off in the club and eventually Puck got him a spot on the football team, despite the fact that the boy was in a wheelchair.

Tina was a drama major and was also taking a film studies class, which was how she met Artie. They happened to sit by each other and began talking. They quickly figured out they were from rival high schools. Tina knew of the "incredibly talented but obnoxious" Rachel Berry from her own stint in her school's glee club and so their conversation continued until the two realized how much they had in common. Artie had invited Tina to join them for lunch because he thought Rachel might be there and she would have a familiar face on a big campus.

Mercedes knew Tina from show choir competitions. When she ran into Tina and Artie on their way to the Towers cafeteria, Tina invited the girl to have lunch with them. She explained that Artie went to the same high school as Rachel Berry, that girl from McKinley who always won best soloist.

Despite Rachel being the connecting factor between all of them, she never showed for a single meal to eat with the group.

After dinner, Brittany and Quinn were walking back to their dorm. She lived only two floors above Rachel and Quinn.

"I can't believe Puck dated Rachel. They just seem like brother and sister or something."

"I know. She was completely different then, though. She used to wear these ugly sweaters and tiny little skirts. Oh, she wore these gross penny loafers all the time. She and Puck dated and her fashion sense got a little better but everyone made fun of her all the time," Brittany explained.

"Wow I had no idea. She must've hid all the sweaters in our room," Quinn chuckled.

"She was really weird. I think she just wanted college to be different. We were all really mean to her in high school. We used to throw slushies on her. Santana…well this girl we used to hang out with, made Rachel's life hell. She hasn't had it easy. She's been crapped on a lot by people who were supposed to really care about her, especially Finn…even Puck's crapped on her a lot," Brittany shrugged.

"Still…" Quinn trailed off.

"Yeah, she hasn't been very fair to you. I don't know what her deal is. She's just super guarded, ya know. She's only nice now when she has to be. It's easier for her, I guess. Like, Mercedes said she's really quiet in their theatre classes. The Rachel I went to high school with was loud. She knew the answer to everything. Tina said she's quiet in their music class too. Unless she's singing. Oh, have you heard Rachel sing?"

The taller blonde instantly beamed when she asked. Quinn shook her head. She hadn't. Brittany looked shocked then a little sad.

"Oh Quinn, she's wonderful. You have to ask her to sing sometime. I've never heard anybody as good as her who wasn't on a CD or something," Brittany smiled.

"I'll ask," Quinn replied softly, knowing Rachel would never sing for her. Rachel seemed to hate her.

"She doesn't hate you," Brittany seemed to read Quinn's mind. For as dumb as people thought the dancer was, Brittany was very perceptive. "Rachel's nice to Puck because they have all of this history. He's really the only friend she's had who's stuck by her…and even he left her when she first came out. I think that's why she doesn't trust people anymore. I know he gets sad when he thinks about it. He's trying really hard to be her friend now."

"He really adores her."

"He does. She's like another sister to him so I know he feels bad about everything that happened before."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Brittany spoke up again.

"Puck likes you."

Quinn merely blushed in response. He was really sweet. He was funny. He had been a great friend. Maybe that was the problem though. Quinn mainly saw Puck as a friend. She knew he was supposed to be a great catch for her. They would flirt but it was never anything serious. All of their conversations were always about their friends…or Rachel. Could Quinn even go a day without thinking about her? She hated how much Rachel confused her. She didn't know why the other girl hated her and it was driving her insane. She knew Puck was getting fed up with her Rachel obsession. He kept telling her to let it go. She couldn't. She didn't know why it bothered her so much…but it did.

"Plus, you've got Rachel's approval. That's a lot more than any of the other girls have gotten…well except Alicia. She got a lot more than that…but that's an entirely different thing, if you know what I mean."

Quinn had Rachel's approval. Wow. She needed to stop obsessing over this. Wait…Alicia? How does that- what did that mean…Rachel slept with his girlfriend?

"She slept with his girlfriend?" Quinn asked, almost outraged.

"No…she wasn't his girlfriend. They just went out…like once…nothing major…besides, he told Rachel that he didn't like her. So Rachel went for it," Brittany explained offhandedly.

"I can't believe that. I thought they were like best friends."

"They are. It sounds a lot worse than it really was. Rachel just made out with the girl. They didn't sleep together or anything," Brittany defended.

Quinn unlocked the door to her room. She and Brittany were going to go out and finally see what a Friday night college party was all about.

"I just didn't think she was that type or something. I still can't believe it."

"Believe what?" Rachel asked coming out of the bathroom.

Quinn jumped nearly ten feet in the air. She thought Rachel would be gone. The girl was never in their room unless she was sleeping. Yet there she was in nothing but a towel with her wet locks sending small water droplets cascading down her tan shoulders and collarbone. For some reason Quinn was staring and she couldn't stop tracing each droplet with her eyes. Brittany was staring too.

"See something you like, girls?" Rachel laughed, teasingly.

Quinn blushed instantly.

"Quinn is straight, Rachel," Brittany explained seriously, not catching the joke.

"Thank you for the heads up, Brittany. It's good to see you again. It's especially nice to see you without a cheerleading uniform or holding a slushie," Rachel replied softly.

"I'm on the dance team now not cheerleading anymore. Plus we don't have a slushie machine on campus and I wouldn't do that you now."

Brittany smiled at the brunette who flushed and lowered her head.

"We were just discussing how you made out with Alicia."

"Oh well…um…wow," Rachel turned even redder, looking completely adorable.

"Don't worry Rachel. You can't help it that you're better company than Puck. It's not your fault you're the girl other girls want to fool around with. It's not like you picked her up. I was at that party this summer. She totally came on to you. Not the other way around," Brittany assured.

"So you really do break them in?" Quinn asked, eyes widening as soon as she realized what she asked. "I mean, Puck, he said…I just thought he was joking."

Rachel looked taken back by that. Quinn would be too. She could 't believe she asked her roommate that. She couldn't believe she was still starting at Rachel in what could be interpreted as a totally pervy way. What was wrong with her lately? What was with this girl? It had to be that Quinn was so shocked to actually see her in their room. That had to be it. No other reason.

"That makes them sound like horses, Quinn. You can't break people in," Brittany rolled her eyes. "Rachel's just…helping out another person with female research…it's all in the name of science. That's what Santana used to say. She was lending a helping hand to researching females in the name of science," the blonde laughed it off, as if she didn't just out her former best friend and in a round about way accuse Rachel of being a whore.

"Funny. Who would've guessed the girl who tortured me for being gay was lending so many helping hands," Rachel muttered.

"Just because you have sex with a girl, it doesn't mean you're gay," Brittany nodded innocently.

"Of course," Rachel deadpanned.

Quinn felt her ears heat up as she began blushing again. Whether it was from the topic or her friend's stupidity, she wasn't sure.

"You're blushing," Rachel called out as she went back to doing her makeup in the mirror.

"Well Quinn is very Christian, Rachel. She doesn't talk about sex very much."

"I'm very Jewish so I have no issues discussing it," Rachel chuckled.

Finally having Rachel not only talk to her, but joking around with her and being nice to her wasn't the experience Quinn had pictured it being. She was actually nervous to talk to her. If she messed this up, Rachel probably wouldn't speak to her for another month. Plus, Rachel's nose did this cute crinkling thing when she smiled. It made her seem almost human instead of the moody creature that Quinn usually ran into. And her laugh was light and it made Quinn want to laugh because she got giddy knowing Rachel was joking around with her.

Quinn didn't realize the lull in conversation during her internal musings.

"Relax, Quinn. I'm just messing with you. Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything of that nature. I completely understand. You're not comfortable with me talking about my lesbian…encounters. It's okay. I'm sure I don't want to hear about your sexual exploits with the jock down the street or the golden boy star athlete from the other side of town. I also understand that religion is not a joking matter and you take your Christianity very seriously which I not only respect but admire as well. Not everyone our age, thinks about the repercussions of their actions and how that will shape what's to come after their mortal expiration."

"He wasn't from the other side of town," Quinn muttered, thinking back on her one and only experience with sex. "And he didn't live right down the street but definitely close by."

"Puck would have sex with you," Brittany piped in.

"I don't know about that," Quinn blushed.

She knew that Puck would have sex with her. He would have sex with any attractive girl. She wanted it to mean something the next time she had sex. Losing her virginity to Sam had been a mistake. They were great friends who had started dating because it was expected from their families. They tried to make it work. She had sex with him even though she knew she didn't love him. She had wanted to wait until marriage but a few wine coolers and teenage hormones won out, on top of the fact that she felt fat that day and he told her she was pretty. They had sex. She cried. They broke up a few weeks later and remained good friends. Sex just wasn't for her. Maybe with the right person, maybe if she had waited until marriage…maybe sex would be good then. But as far as Quinn was concerned it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

"Noah?" Rachel asked. "You two would be good together. He's all sweet and mushy underneath the jock thing. I know he's somewhat of a whore but he's actually a really good guy. I think he would date you. That's saying something with Noah. As Puck, he has this reputation as a manwhore. With the right girl though, he'd be free to be Noah, the sweet guy that his friends actually know him as."

"You should see them together, Rachel. It's really cute," Brittany gushed.

"I don't doubt it," Rachel smiled, even though her eyes didn't look quite as happy.

Quinn noticed the first day that Rachel had really expressive, big brown eyes. She could act however she wanted and ignore Quinn as much as she pleased, but her eyes always gave her away. Rachel was just as lonely as the rest of the world.

"I bet he would date you Quinn. He's different with you. Almost like if Rachel were straight," Brittany bobbed her head happily.

"Oh, if only I were straight so I could date Noah Puckerman," Rachel laughed loudly, almost obnoxiously and yet it was cute.

"Yes well for some straight girls it might not be such a laughing matter," Quinn defended.

Rachel stopped laughing and turned to Quinn seriously, "I was joking Quinn. Sorry if I somehow managed to offend you again. You may need to lighten up a bit though. There's more to the world than black and white. There's all kinds of grays. You're in college now. It's a new place, new people, new world. I'm not trying to convert you but I won't hide who I am. Perhaps, it wouldn't hurt if you could see the grays in between and appreciate them."

That was the most Rachel had ever spoken to her. Rachel got quiet as if realizing the impact of her words of wisdom. Regardless of gay, straight, whatever, Rachel could change some of Quinn's narrow-minded views instilled by her parents…and that would probably be a good thing. Of course, that was if Rachel would actually give Quinn a chance to get to know her, which hadn't happened yet. Brittany had said that Rachel was guarded because a lot of important people let her down. Puck said that things were hard for Rachel both before and especially after she came out. Maybe she just needed to know that Quinn would be there, gay or not.

"Well this has been fun my peers, but some of us have plans. I have an audition" Rachel beamed.

AN: I know it's a little insane to update like 5 times in a day. My "sick day" from work gave me a lot of time to write. I can't guarantee this will be a regular thing. Maybe one or two updates every few days. In honor of Glee tonight I decided to post two more chapters. Enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Chapter 5

Another week passed after Quinn and Rachel's encounter. Rachel had been so nice and joking one minute then disappeared again the next. Quinn was so confused. She found that she really didn't care that the other girl was gay anymore. She just wished she had a roommate, regardless of sexuality. She thought they had made some progress but Rachel was still avoiding their room and didn't speak to Quinn when they were both there. Maybe Rachel was bipolar. Quinn voiced this theory to Puck at lunch one day.

"Quinn, it's not worth it. I don't know what her deal is. It's just not worth it," Puck sighed.

"But it's driving me insane!" Quinn pouted.

"I know, but there's not a whole lot you can do. Rachel is just…Rachel. Look, I love the girl but she's kind of nuts."

"Like that's an explanation," Quinn retorted under her breath.

She knew Puck was getting really frustrated with her but she couldn't help it. They shared a room and they rarely saw each other. When they would cross paths, they didn't speak. Suddenly, she talked to Quinn and then it was back to silence. It was like some twisted game when it came to Rachel. Quinn hated games unless she could win them.

"Listen, Q…what are you doing tonight?" Puck asked nervously.

"Probably attempting to stay out of Rachel's way," Quinn sighed, defeated.

Puck's shoulders sagged as if he was defeated as well.

"Why? What's up?"

"Nothing. Just…nothing," he smiled sadly.

Tina came over and joined them, quickly evaporating any tension or sadness with yet another story of the drama of being a drama major. Apparently all of the girls were sluts (except for her and Rachel) and the guys were either gay or conceited. They had cliques who all thought they were the best and Tina still hasn't found her way into a clique she liked. Rachel wouldn't talk to anyone so most of the people in their classes thought Rachel was stuck up. Tina had tried to talk to her to form their own clique but Rachel was mostly unresponsive. Tina decided she would rather hang with their lunch group instead of worrying about fitting in with that department. Her stories were entertaining, however, maybe that's why all of those kids were in the entertainment business.

After endless hours around campus all day Quinn finally went home. It was still before ten and a Thursday so the chances of running into Rachel were very slim. She was probably at some rehearsal. She usually didn't get home till almost eleven during the week. Quinn didn't know how her roommate kept that busy, slept so little, and still managed to keep going. However, Quinn was shocked to see Rachel sitting on her bed when the blonde opened the door. The brunette was in boxers and a baggy t-shirt with her iPod on and a notebook in her lap. She was writing quickly and humming to herself softly. Quinn was rooted to her spot. Rachel was actually there!

"It's a cold hard road when you wake up, and I don't think that I have the strength…to let you go," Rachel sang softly.

She had a beautiful voice. Seriously, it was like soft and pure but just the right amount of pain to make it wonderfully tortured. The girl clearly had perfect pitch as well as the ability to pour her soul into every line she sang and still sound angelic.

"Maybe it's just me. But couldn't you believe that everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving? And the tear in your eye, and your cold hard face makes me wish that I was never brought into this place," she continued just before she raised her eyes and meet Quinn's hazel gaze.

She quickly ripped her earphones out and slammed the notebook shut.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked angrily, hiding the notebook behind her back.

"I-I thought…I mean…I figured you'd be…out," Quinn stammered.

"You thought wrong."

"That-was-really-good," came out of Quinn's mouth in a rush.

"What?"

"I didn't know you could sing," Quinn answered a little slower. "Or I mean, Britt said you could but…wow."

"Yes, well, I've had years of training so it's to be expected. I am an exceptional singer, as I should be from both hard work and genetics. I won soloist of the year three years running at the state show choir finals. That doesn't seem to mean anything to any of my teachers though. They only care about my mother's name. Just another thing to rise above, I suppose but I didn't let the idiots of Lima stop me and I certainly won't let a few music professors stand in my way," Rachel rambled indignantly.

"Did you write that?"

"My former English teacher told me I had a lot of pent up issues. He suggested putting them on paper. I, in turn, put those issues to music. So yes, now I write songs…not that I really do that with the intention of others ever hearing them. That's for me only. I never wrote songs with actual music. Just lyrics and then the melodies in my head. They're not real songs though. I mean, they are but they're not complete. They're just…thanks, I guess," Rachel fumbled for an explanation.

Apparently Quinn caught her completely off guard. Now that she actually had the chance to analyze the smaller girl, it was obvious that she wasn't wearing makeup but she was still as beautiful as ever. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun with a few loose curls framing her face. It was clear she was intending to have a peaceful night in.

"So you're not going out? No rehearsals? No auditions? Singing lesson? Something?"

"Not unless people usually wear pj's to a show," she laughed.

"Right," Quinn giggled nervously.

"You're not with Puck…or Brittany…or somebody?"

"Not tonight. Just planned a chill night."

"Me too," she replied almost bashfully.

Quinn merely nodded before actually stepping into their room all the way.

"Do you have any more? I'd love to hear them," Quinn smiled.

"They're not ready…I mean, I have notebooks upon notebooks…but…they're not good."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Quinn laughed at the other girl's strange behavior.

"I don't want you to hear them," Rachel snapped, her eyes widening immediately after. "Sorry. It's not that I have anything against you, per say, I just don't want anyone to hear them. They're not ready."

Rachel was flustered and a little out of sorts. She scrambled to shut the notebook in her desk drawer.

"Don't let me bother you. I can go…I mean if I'm bothering you," Quinn offered.

"It's fine. I'm done anyway."

Quinn nodded again, "I'm just going to…ya know…"

"Get ready for bed?"

"Yeah. That," Quinn replied lamely.

Why couldn't she talk like a normal human being around her? Gosh! Rachel had to think Quinn was a total idiot. Oh you know Quinn, just getting ready for that whole bed thing like the loser that she was. Could she be any dumber? Seriously. She should say something. Anything!

"I don't care that you're gay," Quinn said softly.

Holy shit! That was so not what she meant to say! Way to go, Quinn! Way to make things even worse. Rachel's eyes widened. There was an extended pause. Quinn had no idea what to say to fix it. How could she just blurt that out?

"You sure?" Rachel asked so quietly Quinn barely caught it.

Her vulnerability in the moment struck a cord in Quinn's heart. Past all the sarcasm (usually directed toward Puck, or Brittany like twice), rambling, and false bravado, Rachel was really just as insecure as the rest of the world, despite the fact that she had no reason to be. At least Rachel knew who she was. Plus she was gorgeous. Sure Quinn had the blonde hair and the classic Hollywood beauty, but Rachel had something else, something extra. Maybe Quinn was right before in thinking that the singer just needed a little support. Maybe they could be friends after all.

"Really. It doesn't matter to me. We're roommates, right? Through thick and thin, we're stuck together."

"Roommates who never actually hang out in the room together," Rachel laughed.

"Well maybe tonight we'll change that," Quinn smiled.

"Yeah."

Quinn got ready for bed in record time. She didn't know what she was supposed to wear to sleep. She wasn't sure why this was a dilemma. She and Rachel had been sleeping in the same room for well over a month now. It didn't really matter. But they were actually hanging out tonight. What if she wore pajamas with horses on them and Rachel hated horses. Then she'd be all weird again and decide to forget about being friends. Or what if Quinn wore a t-shirt and it's some band or a brand Rachel hated. Half of Quinn's t-shirts were cheerleading shirts. What if that reminded Rachel how much she hated cheerleaders? Quinn didn't own anything sexy which was probably good. Not that Rachel would necessarily be attracted to her, but she didn't even know Rachel's type. Quinn didn't want to risk it and have Rachel come on to her. That would be awkward. Not that she would automatically come on to Quinn just because the blonde was wearing nice pajamas. They barely even knew each other. Quinn wouldn't even know how to handle a situation like that. That had never happened to her before…probably because I had never known a lesbian before. How did what she wore to bed have anything to do with that?

Eventually she just threw on the usual tank top and pajama shorts combo. The top was solid pink and the shorts were pink with little white flowers. Probably too cutesy. Quinn hoped Rachel wouldn't hate her for being way too pink and bubbly. But Brittany was pretty bubbly and Rachel didn't hate her. Plus Brittany said Rachel was pink and bubbly in high school before the whole 'being outted to the entire school and tortured for the last year' thing.

"Cute pjs," Rachel smiled.

She smiled. So far so good.

"Thanks," Quinn smiled back.

"Yeah…well…I'm beat. You didn't mind if we turn in early do you?"

"Oh no. That's fine," Quinn replied, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Great. Thanks…lights out, I guess."

"Yeah…good night."

It was the first time they were actually falling asleep together. Most nights Quinn was in bed first. On the weekends, Rachel would be asleep when Quinn would get home from whatever bar or party she went to. Rachel hit the lights and jumped into her bed just as Quinn sunk under her own covers.

"Good night," Rachel's voice sounded muffled by her pillow.

Quinn didn't move for several minutes staring into the darkness. She was really nervous. She shouldn't have been nervous. Maybe that was how everyone else felt the first night of school when they shared their rooms for the first time. With her and Rachel, they spent so much time creeping around each other they never behaved like roommates. Quinn shifted around a little trying to get comfortable. She hoped she wasn't keeping Rachel awake with the swishing of her sheets. Quinn decided not to move anymore. That was a terrible position to sleep in. Oh well. Don't move, Quinn. Don't bother Rachel.

Quinn heard Rachel's own sheets rustling as she twisted and turned trying to get comfortable. Quinn took a chance and moved again then remained silent. Rachel had stopped moving. Quinn was a little more comfortable. She could probably stay like that. They were good. Quinn could hear the singer breathing. Man, their room was quiet. Quinn wondered if Rachel could hear her breathe.

Quinn held her breath for a moment. Finally, she had to exhale and suck in air again. She moved around a little more then stopped again. After a few more minutes, Quinn heard Rachel's breathing even out. She was sleeping. Quinn and her roommate were finally sleeping in the same room. Maybe they would actually be roommates from then on. Maybe we could even be friends.

Don't get your hopes up, Quinn.

Quinn wasn't sure how much time had passed but Rachel's even breathing was making the blonde very tired. It was like being lulled to sleep. Rachel was actually starting to snore lightly. Not in a disturbing way, but more like trying to coax Quinn into sleeping too….eventually, Quinn gave in.

AN: The song Rachel was singing is a part of "Maybe" by Secondhand Serenade. I'm not much of a songwriter myself so from time to time, I will use lyrics from certain bands on my iPod shuffle. Thanks for reading! Please review! Thank you, come again!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

**Chapter 6**

"So you and Rachel had your first slumber party," Brittany giggled the next day at lunch.

"Shut up," Quinn chuckled lightly.

"Seriously, how does it feel to finally have a roommate? I told her she has to be nice to you now," the dancer smiled sincerely.

"You talk to Rachel?"

"Sometimes. Usually she's so busy running around to some rehearsal or a practice room. But sometimes, I see her on campus and I tell her to be nice to you."

"Oh. Thanks, Britt. You didn't have to do that."

"What's up?" Puck asked with a huge grin as he joined the two blondes.

"Nothing. Just talking about Quinn and Rachel's slumber party," Brittany grinned.

Puck's smile turned into a smirk, "Slumber party?"

"Oh, it totally wasn't even like that. We hung out a little and both went to bed around the same time instead of the usual sneaking around the sleeping person thing we do. No big deal," Quinn answered nonchalantly.

Truthfully, it was a huge deal. Quinn felt like she was finally making a break through with Rachel.

"So are you guys like friends now?" Puck asked slowly.

"No! I mean…we didn't talk a lot. It wasn't a slumber party. We're just…not avoiding each other."

"It's a step in the right direction," Brittany added in, encouragingly.

"Sure," Puck shrugged indifferently. "Well, Q, if you're not doing anything tonight…"

"Holy shit!" Brittany interrupted.

Quinn looked over to see what the commotion was. Rachel was in the cafeteria. She was not alone. A Latina and some of the other cheerleaders were exchanging what appeared to be heated words with Rachel. Quinn's roommate did not look happy.

"Who is that?" Quinn asked.

"Santana Lopez," Puck replied darkly.

Quinn tried to read the silent conversation Puck and Brittany were having with each other, but she was at a loss. Her attention was reverted back to Rachel when she heard a loud smack. The Latina had slammed her hand against the wall, making the noise and scaring Rachel in the process. A very tall boy walked into the room and approached them quickly.

"How dare you think you're allowed to even speak to any of us, Freak! Let alone put your filthy hands on my man! I will make your life a living hell, Stubbles!" Santana screeched.

"You already did," Rachel replied softly.

"Well, Rupaul, maybe that's because you're a freak. Don't even think about speaking to Finn, looking at him, or even thinking about him ever again. You gave up that right when you started munching carpets!"

The tall boy looked torn between following after the fuming singer who fled the cafeteria in a perfect diva storm out or staying with his girlfriend who was bitching with her cheerleader teammates.

"Show's over!" Santana announced to the cafeteria.

"What was that all about?" Quinn asked slowly.

"You got Rachel?" Puck asked.

Brittany nodded and got up to leave.

"I'll be right back," Puck said to Quinn.

Brittany stopped by the cheerleaders on her way out the door. The Latina looked at her. Brittany frowned and shook her head. The other girl ducked her head in shame and momentarily looked as though she might cry. As soon as the blonde left, the Latina shook herself and put her bitchface back on.

"Yo, Hudson," Puck's voice boomed through the cafeteria.

The tall boy's eyes widened in recognition.

"Puck."

"Stay the hell away from Berry," Puck threatened.

The giant looked hurt and angry. He merely nodded in response.

"And you," Puck turned to Santana, "if that wasn't the worst case of the pot calling the kettle black. You're a whore, S. Always have been, always will be."

"Hey, don't talk to my girlfriend like that," Finn piped up.

"Really, Hudson. You really wanna do that? After everything?"

Finn shut up before Puck turned back to the table, gathered his tray and left with Quinn following close behind.

The rest of the afternoon Quinn tried to find out what went down at lunch. Nobody knew or those who did wouldn't say. Puck gave her the most information saying Santana was an old friend of theirs who wasn't a friend anymore. Quinn couldn't get anymore out of him. He seemed annoyed with her but she was just as annoyed with him. She only wanted to know what happened and all he cared about was what they were all doing that night.

Quinn made it back to her room shortly after dinner. Brittany was there and so was Rachel.

"I don't care if I love her, I'll kick her ass. End of story," Brittany threatened.

"Then you'll get expelled and it's really not worth it," Rachel sighed.

"Hey. What's going on?"

Rachel was in the bathroom in nothing but a towel once again. Quinn swore every woman on the planet must have been envious of that girl. Rachel really had no idea just how good looking she was.

"Hey, Q," Brittany greeted with a warm smile.

"Hey roomie," Rachel muttered, sticking her tongue out at Brittany.

"What's going on?"

"Brittany is just trying to be a hero," Rachel replied.

"And Rachel is just sucking the fun out of my life."

Rachel flashes the blonde a huge grin before staring back at her own reflection while applying lipgloss. She really did have great lips. Quinn's stomach flopped in jealousy. That's what it was, jealousy.

"But seriously, Rach, you can't go after Santana like that again. I know what she did to you was horrible. She'll get what's coming to her. Until then, keep your nose out of it. Let me and Puck take care of it," Brittany practically begged.

"I don't want you having anything to do with Santana Lopez after the way she treated you, Britt. She messed with you for far too long."

"And Finn messed with you for just as long."

"And I cheated on him with a girl. I'm pretty sure Finn Hudson and I are even," Rachel groaned, then after a moment nearly whispered, "I just wanted to tell him I was sorry. We all go to school here. There's no reason to actively avoid each other. He used to be my best friend. There was a really long time when he was my only friend. I just wanted to apologize."

"Well, S, isn't going to let you anywhere near him," Brittany pointed out.

"Why? What does she really have to worry about? I'm a lesbian! I don't want Finn!"

"Isn't it obvious? For him, you'll always be the one that got away. You're the girl who left him and he can never have you again. Besides, I saw the way he was looking at you in the cafeteria. The whole cafeteria saw the way that boy was looking at you," Quinn muttered.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, confused.

And people thought Brittany was the dumb one. Rachel clearly didn't get it at all.

"Rach, that guy was obviously still in love with you," Quinn clarified.

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"It's true. Finn loves you and S knows it," Brittany agreed.

"But…I don't love him. He's…he's a guy."

"Well duh," the taller blonde giggled before the other two joined her laughter.

"What are you doing tonight, Rachel?" Quinn asked, curiously.

"There's a theatre party that some of my classmates invited me to. I'm actually kind of excited. I haven't been to a party since…well in about a year."

The last time Rachel had been to a party was the beginning of senior year. Puck had a welcome back bash at his place when his mom had left for the weekend to pick up his sister from camp. Everyone who was anyone was there. Rachel had been trying to find a way to break up with Finn all summer after coming to terms with her sexuality. The boy just couldn't take a hint and told her they could work through anything. The two had arrived together. After a few drinks, things got complicated. Needless to say, Finn found out Rachel might have a preference for ladies. More importantly, Santana found out which was how the rest of the school found out. Thus her senior year started out far worse than any other. Santana and the cheerleaders brought a new level of torture, Rachel had never even witnessed before. The singer's reputation, what little one she was finally able to form after nearly two years of dating Finn, was ruined. Things were far worse than they had been her freshmen and sophomore year when she was teased and slushied weekly. Senior year was an every day torture with insults that stung much deeper than the usual "Manhands" or "Treasure Trail."

"A theatre party? Rachel, you can't go to one of those. Tina told me it's nothing but an orgy," Brittany responded with disgust.

"An orgy? I can assure you, the boys who invited me swore it would be a great time with great friends and great music. They never mentioned anything about an orgy. They said they had purchased a few kegs and that it was a theme party. Pirates vs ninjas. You have to dress as one or the other. Initially, I was thinking I would be a pirate. Then I discovered from overhearing some of the other girls that a pirate is just an excuse to dress as some slutty pirate wench. I thought at least drama people would have the decency to acquire fantastic costumes and not resort to the usual Halloweenish costumes that serve only the purpose of showing off one's body and looking like a two-bit hooker. So I have decided I will wear all black and be a ninja. It also goes well with the persona I have developed within the department of being rather quiet so if I sneak around silently, I'm not only playing to my character as a ninja but also to the character they believe me to be," Rachel explained happily.

"That sounds dumb," Brittany stated simply.

"She meant no offense," Quinn jumped in, used to smoothing things over for others after Brittany speaks.

"Well thank you for your assessment, Brittany. I was actually looking forward to attempting a social gathering again."

"They're weird theatre kids," Brittany groaned.

"I don't have a lot of options," Rachel snapped. "Sorry."

"Come out with us. We're going to a bar," Brittany squealed.

"And a bar isn't an excuse to dress slutty and partake in some dance floor orgy?"

"We could go to Lola's for you!" Brittany clapped excitedly.

"What's Lola's?" Rachel and Quinn asked at the same time.

"It's a gay club! This will be so much fun! Let's go! Oh, can we go, Quinn? I'll be your pretend girlfriend! We can find Rachel a real girlfriend! This is going to be great!"

"I don't know about that," Rachel said slowly.

"I'm not sure that Lola's is the best place for all of us," Quinn agreed softly.

"Oh please! It will be so much fun!"

"We're supposed to hang out with Puck," Quinn tried again to talk the blonde out of it.

"He can come too! If he got hit on by a guy! Funny! Let's do it!" Brittany started dancing around and jumping happily.

"We could just go to a regular club," Rachel suggested weakly.

"You want to go to a dance club?" Brittany lit up at that suggestion.

Rachel swallowed thickly and nodded. She looked incredibly nervous and not too thrilled with the idea. Quinn, on the other hand, looked much more comfortable. The two glanced at each other then nodded to Brittany again.

"Yes! Call Puck! Quinn, get ready! We need to put ourselves together fast so we can help Rachel."

"Help Rachel? Why do I need help?" the brunette asked, stomping her foot indignantly.

"Rachel, I've seen the way you dress. It's much better than high school. You don't look like an old lady anymore, but it's still not good."

The brunette huffed as the dancer fled their room to get ready in her own. Quinn shrugged before calling the bathroom since the brunette had already showered.

Brittany was back in no time. Quinn had just finished showering and drying her hair when the dancer bounced back into the room, with several outfits and her makeup bag.

"Do you think Santana and Finn will be there?" Rachel asked, as the two blondes worked on each other's makeup.

Brittany pulled away from Quinn to stare at the petite girl who looked a little seasick sitting on her own bed.

"Who cares if they are! S doesn't run this school. She's not in charge here. Plus, we'll pick up tons of guys and Finn Hudson will be the last thing on your mind," Brittany stated firmly.

"I don't want to pick up tons of guys," Rachel muttered meekly.

"Come on, Rachel. You know as well as I do that the guys here go insane for a hot blonde. You walk in with the two of us? We'll be the hottest shit in that club even if you don't want it. No one can resist two blondes and brunette. Free drinks all night, even if you are gay."

"Plus the three of us versus Santana? If that girl shows her face, we'll take her," Quinn promised.

"I don't have anything slutty," Rachel laughed at the absurdity of even the thought.

"I have a whole closet full of slutty. So I brought you things," Brittany grinned as Quinn stuck her tongue out at the other girl.

"Put that tongue back in before someone thinks you're into girls, Q," Brittany snorted at Quinn as Rachel giggled at the former Cheerio's expression of horror.

For the next half hour, Brittany played dress up with Rachel. She rummaged through Rachel's dresser before throwing random outfits on the bed,usually consisting of some tiny top of Brittany's and an even smaller skirt that actually belonged to Rachel. Quinn gave either a no or a maybe for each combination while finishing her hair.

Brittany was still attempting to dress Rachel while Quinn dressed herself. She put on a sleeveless shirt that dipped dangerously low in the back for someone with Quinn's very Christian background. It was a deep purple and gorgeous. She finished with skinny jeans and black pumps. Her hair was pulled up and away from her face in a slightly messy updo. Her eye makeup had a smoky quality to it, topped off with light lipgloss.

Brittany had on a shirt that was more like a black bra than an actual shirt and an incredibly short denim skirt. She had perfect abs which were still showing despite the small pink vest she puts on to finish the outfit and hide part of the bra/shirt.

Finally Brittany dressed Rachel in a black halter that showed just a hint of her stomach and a tight, incredibly short, white skirt. Quinn turned around and stared at Rachel for a moment in a way that made both girls' stomachs flip. Rachel saw something she couldn't quite decipher flash across her roommate's face before the former Cheerio finally responded.

"Perfect," was all she said.

Rachel blushed as Brittany squealed in delight.

"Britt, you better hurry and finish your hair if we're ever going to be ready,"

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"I still have to do Rachel's makeup."

"Go do your hair and I'll do it."

"Seriously?" Brittany and Rachel asked at the same time.

"Yes, I promise I won't make her look like a whore. I am capable of doing my own makeup," Quinn laughed.

Rachel was just shocked her roommate would offer to help her. Brittany had been pushing for most of the bounding between the three that night. Brittany was also the one who was trying desperately to give Rachel her makeover. Quinn had tried to be the brunette's friend but Rachel knew from her past experiences with popular kids that blonde former cheerleaders couldn't be easily trusted. Brittany seemed pleased with Quinn's reply and ran off to get dressed in the room leaving the roommates alone in the bathroom.

"I can do my own makeup if you don't want to," Rachel said softly as Quinn's eyes scanned her body again.

"No, it's cool. We've gotta find some way to make those chocolate eyes pop," Quinn winked.

Rachel blushed again as Quinn lead her by the hand to the double bay sink where she helped the brunette perch up on it. Quinn's hand tingled where her fingers linked with Rachel and she was sure her palms were beginning to sweat. She really hoped Rachel couldn't tell how nervous she was. Rachel was too caught up in being so close to the blonde and inhaling her sweet perfume to notice if Quinn was nervous. Rachel's heart was racing at the possibility of actually being friends with her roommate, not knowing Quinn's was doing the same.

"So why don't you ever hang out in the room? I don't bite you know," Quinn teased as she got to work.

"I'm just busy, I guess," Rachel replied.

"Yeah, I don't buy that. After tonight, you and I are friends now. You can't ignore me forever, Rach," Quinn grinned as the brunette's stomach flipped.

Quinn had impossibly soft hands that darted across Rachel's face from time to time, fixing smudged eyeliner or blending in too much blush. Rachel kept studying Quinn's face as she worked on the singer's. Rachel had never been this close to Quinn before. From this short distance she could see every tiny fleck of gold in her warm hazel eyes. They were absolutely beautiful. Yet another thing for Rachel to envy about Quinn Fabray. If they were friends now, Rachel was going to have an even harder time. Finding your straight roommate attractive was hard enough. Finding out that attractive straight roommate was actually a great person made things even more complicated.

"You know, I almost feel like I owe you an apology," Rachel said suddenly while Quinn fixing her eyeliner again.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean…well Puck and Brittany have been on my case forever about how unfair I've been to you. I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I figured it was best if I stayed out of your hair and vice versa."

"You don't make me uncomfortable."

Rachel didn't reply for a minute while Quinn continued her work.

"That's not what you said like a month ago," came Rachel's soft reply.

"Well I didn't mean it like that. I really don't care that you're gay. Just don't hit on me."

Rachel just smiled slightly and nodded.

After a few more minutes of Quinn's meticulous skills as a personal makeup artist, Rachel spoke up again.

"I kind of wish I would've been around more. If I had known before tonight that you and Brittany were so much fun or that you had even a semblance of a personality that wasn't just a typical head cheerleader, I probably wouldn't have been so rude. But then again that's not a 100% sure thing. I'm kind overbearing…but I like it that way. I prefer to think of myself as incredibly driven and hardworking. Others within my department tend to think I'm a diva."

"Diva or not, at least you're talking to me now," Quinn shrugged, playfully.

"Yeah," Rachel replied sincerely then rolled her eyes. "We'll see how you're your joy over my speaking lasts," she winked to let Quinn know she's joking.

Finally, Quinn pulled back and looked the other girl over carefully. Then a huge grin spread across her face, giving Rachel a glimpse of her beautiful smile and perfect teeth. Could she be any more gorgeous? If Rachel wasn't so determined to be her friend, she thought she'd hate Quinn out of sheer jealousy…or be insanely attracted to her. The latter would just have to be dealt with on Rachel's own terms because like it or not, the blonde was simply stunning.

"Rach, you look…damn," Quinn muttered.

Both girls blushed for the millionth time just before Brittany strutted into the bathroom.

"I'm ready," the bubbly dancer announced.

"Looking good, Britt. Check out my creation," Quinn beamed.

"Wow, Rach. Hot," Brittany gushed. "I would totally do you."

"Thanks," Rachel replied shyly.

Rachel had been called a lot of things in her life. Annoying, loud, brash, ugly, man-ish, dwarf-like, hobbit, Rupaul, disgusting, a diva, a drama queen, and the list of insults went on and on. On a rare occasion people like Finn, Puck, and her fathers told her she was pretty, adorable, lovely, and any other mediocre name for all things cute and puppy like. She had never been called hot before and certain never had a "damn" issued in her direction.

"Let's hit the madness," Brittany declared as the three made their way out of the room.

"Should we call Puck?" Quinn asked as they exited the dorm.

"Why? He'd only try to play protective daddy all night for Brittany and me…and try to get into your pants. But if that's what you want, then by all means," Rachel laughed.

"Screw that. I don't need Puck to be my dad. Plus if we see those whorebags S runs around with tonight, it's on. And Puck's not getting in the way. I'm gonna beat those girls and then they can run and tell S exactly who did it and she'll be forced to talk to me," Brittany scoffed.

"You don't have to play her game anymore, Brittany. You said it yourself, she doesn't run this school," Rachel smiled, placing a gentle hand on the dancer's arm to calm her.

"I don't like her new friends," Brittany whispered, heartbrokenly.

"I don't either," Rachel nodded. "But we should call Puck…for Quinn."

"Oh…well…if you think that I should…I mean…it's fine if he doesn't come…but it's fine if he does," Quinn stuttered out.

"Whatever," Rachel groaned before calling Puck and telling him to meet them at Ego, one of the most popular dance clubs right off campus.

_AN: And I'm back again with two updates. I had way too much caffeine last night so I stayed up writing for half of the night. Then I got off work early today! So two new chapters! Hope you enjoy! Please review! I love feedback! Thank you, come again!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: No Glee for me...as in I don't own it.**

**Chapter 7**

Brittany explained that Grey, the other major bar close to campus, was more laid back. It was better for just drinking and socializing. Maybe a little dancing went on there, but it was more of a bar than an actual techno crazy club. Ego, on the other hand, was all about dancing and drinking while dancing or as Brittany put it "sexing it up on the dance floor." Apparently, she felt Quinn and Rachel needed to sex it up that night instead of chill out. Quinn was just glad to hang out with her roommate without Rachel feeling the need to flee from the blonde. Instead, Rachel seemed to only send admiring glances Quinn's way and every time the blonde caught her both of their stomachs would flip a little.

Puck ran up to them as soon as the trio arrived.

"Hey, Quinn you look…wow," he grinned.

"Thanks," Quinn blushed.

"Looking good, Rach. Nice work, Britt. So what's the game plan, ladies?"

"Shots," Brittany replied and headed to the bar.

"But we're not old enough," Rachel said slowly.

"Trust me, it won't matter," Brittany winked at the three as Puck started laughing.

They made their way to the bar where Brittany called the bartender over. She was a rather attractive older woman. Maybe in her late twenties. She merely smiled at Brittany and nodded when the dancer asked for four Soco and Limes.

"No ID required when you're hot and we're all hot," Brittany smirked.

Their shots were set on the bar in front of them. The woman said this round was on the house just before she winked at Rachel. The brunette's eyes widened as Brittany laughed. Brittany may have mentioned to the bartender that Rachel was into women. Rachel blanched before tossing back her shot. They all got another round of shots before Puck decided they needed to get regular drinks and claim a table.

Quinn searched the room for any available tables but it seemed they were too late. Brittany said it was no problem. They walked to a table in the corner of the room. There was a young couple sitting there. Brittany eyed them carefully before putting on her best smile and flirtatiously asking if they wouldn't mind sharing. Rachel wasn't sure if she meant the table or each other by the way that Brittany was leering at them. It didn't seem to matter as they made room for the group. More words were exchanged but Rachel couldn't make out exactly what Brittany said over the loud music. With a quick smile and a nod to Rachel, the couple got up and left.

"How did you do that?" Quinn asked in amazement.

"What can I say? I'm good," Brittany shrugged before taking a long sip from her drink.

"Why did that guy look at me?" Rachel asked.

"I told him you were my girlfriend and it was our anniversary that we really wanted to celebrate with our friends," Brittany giggled.

Rachel's eyes widened comically before she tipped back her drink and downed about half. Quinn and Puck laughed at the brunette's antics while squeezing into the booth.

Halfway through her second Long Island, Rachel was starting to feel the previous drink and shots kick in. Her head was a little fuzzy and she was slouched back watching Quinn lean into Puck a lot more to hear whatever it was he shouted into the blonde's ear. By the time that drink was gone and the next two, Rachel was slouched all the way against the wall watching miserably as Quinn laughed with Puck resting on her pretty head on his shoulder.

"Looks like your girl is kind of trashed," Brittany laughed, coming back to the table.

"She'll be alright," Puck replied, not taking his eyes off Quinn.

"I wanna dance!" Rachel nearly screamed, jumping up suddenly and dragging a shocked Brittany back to the dance floor.

Quinn giggled at the two and leaned into Puck a little more as she started feeling all the drinks swirling around in her head.

"So Quinn, you don't drink a lot, do you?" he asked.

"Not usually. Is it that obvious?"

"Nah. You just don't have your tolerance built up yet."

"Do you all go out a lot?" Quinn asked, trying to blink several times as if that would sober her up.

"Sometimes. Rachel doesn't, obviously. Britt and I still party hard but not as much as we used to. Britt goes out a lot by herself here or usually with her dance team friends. Sometimes, I go out on my own. Maybe sometime you and I could go out…on our own. Like together."

Quinn wasn't really sure what Puck was suggesting, the drinks made her head a little fuzzy, but the look on his face said she should say yes. So she did. He smiled at her and continued talking into her ear over the music. Quinn kept losing parts of the conversation they were having. She couldn't tell if it was the music that was distracting her or the alcohol…or maybe it's the way her roommate was dancing with a redheaded girl just barely within eyesight. She could only catch glimpses of Rachel when the other bodies in between moved certain ways. Brittany was in Quinn's sight so she didn't have to worry about her. But it was hard to keep her tabs on Rachel and that task was taking far more concentration than she could have if she was trying to listen to every word Puck said. Maybe that's why she kept missing some of his words. Surely, it was just because Quinn was concerned for her friend, not because the redhead was getting far too close to Rachel. The redhead was kissing the smaller girl's neck and Quinn wasn't positive but she thought the two girls had been full on kissing at one point. The bodies had moved and she couldn't be sure if that was what actually happened. Her stomach turned at the thought. What if the redhead had kissed Rachel? Clearly they were grinding and being a little too close for Quinn's comfort, but could she really sit there and watch her roommate make-out with another girl? Quinn felt sick. The bodies moved again and Quinn watched the petite girl sway seductively on her own for a moment before the redhead was back on her.

"She's a good dancer, isn't she?" Puck asked.

"Hmm?"

"Rachel. I know Brittany's on the dance team and all but Rachel's pretty good, too, right? She's been taking lessons since she could walk just so she could be on Broadway or some shit."

Quinn turned her face to his. She wasn't sure if it was Rachel's name that caught her attention or the way he said it. She was a little confused by his pained expression.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just that Rachel is a great dancer," Puck replied.

"She is," Quinn agreed, turning my attention back to her.

"Be careful, Quinn. I know you want to be her friend…just promise me, you'll be careful."

"I don't know what you mean."

"She's been hurt a lot. I hurt her a lot. Finn really tore her up. Then everything that happened senior year…it damn near killed her. Nearly killed me just to watch her self-destruct. She acts all confident about her future on Broadway and stuff. She says she doesn't need any real friends. She says she's too driven to deal with all of that drama of friends and dating. She's gotten so good at pretending not to hurt anymore. But underneath all of that, she's got some serious darkness, and a good part of that darkness recently showed up at school in the form of Santana Lopez and Finn Hudson. She has a lot of shit she has to work through and I'm not sure if there's actually a person lying underneath it who is capable of relationships anymore, friendship or otherwise," Puck warned seriously.

Suddenly the close proximity of the two of them, the way Rachel was dancing with another girl, and the smoke of the club combined with all of her drinks and Puck's words, it all became too much. Quinn's head was spinning and she felt nauseous. She wanted to tell that redhead to keep her hands off Rachel. She wanted to tell Puck that he didn't even know Rachel if he thought those things were true. However, the truth was Quinn didn't even know Rachel. The singer had been nice to her for one evening and Quinn was ready to defend her till the death and rip off some other girl's head. Rachel had been avoiding the blonde for well over a month. She seemed like she really had no need for relationships or anything yet there she was all over some slutty redheaded bimbo. Of course that didn't mean Rachel was automatically going to have a relationship with the girl just because they danced together. Puck was probably right but to hear him say those things in such a way…Quinn needed air. She was going to throw her drink in his face. She was going to scream at him. She was going to scream at Rachel for being an idiot. She was going to attack that redhead. Quinn was going to…. throw up? No_ she_ wasn't but Rachel was. Rachel was clearly about to be sick. Quinn needed to go after her. Then the blonde could yell at her all she wanted. She could scream at Puck to her heart's content. But first, she needed to go take care of her roommate.

Rachel was having the night of her life. One minute she was dancing with some redhead, having a great time. The girl was kissing all over her neck and grinding against her in the most delicious way. She wanted to find Quinn and tell her 'this is why I'm gay. This right here, because women move in ways men can't. Women can make you feel things men can't!' but as she turned to find her blonde roommate, Rachel saw the girl in question snuggled up next to Puck. They were in a booth leaned in close talking animatedly. Rachel's stomach flipped at the sight. She turned to her dance partner and kissed her. Rachel Barbara Berry was kissing another girl! She hadn't done that in months, especially not in public! She looked back to Quinn's table. Had the blonde seen? See, Quinn, girls were amazing. They kissed better, they danced better, they were just better. But the blonde was still talking to Puck. They looked like the perfect couple straight out of some teen movie. The sweet Catholic girl with her Mohawk-wearing badass Jewish boyfriend. The good girl and the bad boy. The next thing Rachel knew, she felt jealousy rise up in her throat. No wait, that wasn't jealousy. It was bile. She was literally going to be sick.

Rachel stumbled blindly through the room, trying to find the nearest exit. She couldn't see where she was going. There were too many people. The lights were flashing too much. Too many colors flashing across faces of people she didn't know. Where was the door? She was lost. She needed air. She couldn't breathe. She was going to be so sick. She wanted to throw up and then she wanted to cry.

Rachel felt a small arm wrap around her waist and a soft hand grasp her own. She could hear her roommate's voice in her ear telling her that everything was going to be alright. Somehow they made it outside just as Rachel bent over and vomited all over the sidewalk. Quinn's arm was helping hold Rachel up while the hand that had held Rachel's own was holding her hair back from her face.

"Shh, it'll be alright. Just let it out. Get it out of your system and we'll get some air. You're gonna be fine, Rach," Quinn cooed gently.

"Is she okay?" Puck asked from behind the two girls.

"She's completely wasted, you ass. What the hell were you thinking? Have you never even met her? She's the epitome of sweet and innocent. Not to mention how tiny she is. Of course, she's a lightweight. There's no way she could possibly hold her liquor. How many drinks did you give her?" Quinn ranted.

"Hey I was just grabbing rounds for the whole table. I didn't know she was sneaking her own on the dance floor," Puck defended.

Another round of spectacular regurgitating skills brought Quinn's attention back to Rachel.

"Aw, honey. I'm so sorry. Just get it out now and we'll go home," Quinn rubbed her back soothingly as someone else grabbed her hair.

"Jesus, how much did she drink?" Brittany asked, giggling a little.

The dancer took over Quinn's job of holding Rachel's hair. Rachel felt a little better after emptying her stomach. With Quinn's help, she stood back upright. Rachel's head started spinning. Quinn pulled her against her body so the smaller girl could lean on her. That seemed to help Rachel's spinning head a little. Quinn ordered Puck to call a cab and told Brittany to run back inside and get their stuff and a bottle of water. Quinn's body felt so perfect wrapped around the tiny girl. Rachel could barely see straight but she didn't care as long as Quinn stayed exactly where she was. Rachel had never felt so safe.

When Brittany returned, Quinn offered the water to the brunette. Rachel wasn't sure how much time has passed between them going outside and Brittany coming back, all she knew was the cool air felt wonderful against her sticky skin while Quinn's warmth surrounding was the best feeling she'd ever known. Quinn's hand continued rubbing small circle on Rachel's lower back while she leant against her.

Finally a taxi arrived and took them back to the dorm. Puck apologized the whole way home to Quinn, then to Brittany, and repeatedly to Rachel who told him several times to "fuck off" which was a little shocking coming from the sick brunette, but apparently the liquor gave her a foul mouth. With his help the four made it up the stairs to Quinn and Rachel's room.

"So no slumber party tonight?" Brittany asked as she and Quinn placed Rachel on her own bed.

"Shut up, Britt," Quinn groaned then immediately realized how that came out, "Sorry I'm just tired and Rachel's sick and I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's okay," Brittany shrugged it off easily.

"Whatever. I'm going home. Feel better Rach," Puck laughed a little.

"You weren't invited to stay, you ass," Rachel grunted on the bed. "Next time you wanna get a girl trashed so you can finally work up the nerve to ask her out, make sure it's not my roommate. Or at least get _her_ drunk and not the rest of us. I don't want to do this again."

Rachel's head throbbed as she heard the door slam upon Puck's exit. Quinn mumbled an excuse and went to the bathroom to get a washcloth.

"Way to go, Rach," Brittany muttered.

"Screw him. You know, I get it. I understand that I am a weirdo. I know. People don't like me. But Puck wants to be my best friend. He forgets that he laughed with everybody else. He was there. He laughed too. I don't forget. I forgive. I don't forget," Rachel rambled drunkenly.

"He feels really bad about everything that happened in high school. You know Puck loves you. I feel bad too."

"You have no idea what it felt like to be judged by everyone," Rachel growled.

"You're gay. Big deal," Brittany huffed. "I'm bi. Santana and I-"

"Were just having sex, right? It doesn't count if you don't mean it. Isn't that what you both told me? You have sex with girls but you're not gay."

"I don't care that you're gay, Rachel. I wish I had the guts to be more like you. I don't think it's a big deal and I'm glad you're not afraid to be who you are. I bet that redhead was glad too," Brittany giggled.

"It is a big deal! To some little Catholic, cheerleading princess who was probably raised with bigots! I thought she was going to hate me. Yes, I went about it the wrong way. But the other night, it was fine. She didn't care! Now tonight, I found out Quinn's kind of cool. So maybe we won't be best friends. Whatever. The point is I was wrong, I accept that. I thought she wouldn't want to hang out with me. She does. I made-out with a girl and she didn't even care! She was fine with it. I didn't want her to be but she was. She really doesn't care that I'm me. Puck likes her and I don't like it. But so what, we all just need to move the hell on. It's not high school anymore," Rachel's voice got louder as she got angrier, rambled all over the place.

"No it's definitely not high school anymore," Quinn calmed as she came back in the room.

Rachel felt Quinn place a cold wet washcloth on her forehead. It was like heaven. Quinn gently wiped the other girl's cheeks, lips, and neck before placing it back on her forehead.

"Don't do this to yourself," Brittany's voice had grown dangerously firm.

"I'm not doing anything," Rachel moaned, opening one eye to glare at the dancer.

"You know Puck really likes her."

"She doesn't really like _him_. Anyone with eyes can see that," Rachel replied.

"She is right here and doesn't appreciate this conversation," Quinn butted in.

"Sorry, Quinn," Brittany said sheepishly.

"Sorry," Rachel muttered.

"Please be careful, Rach. I don't want to see you get hurt," Brittany whispered as she leaned down and placed a kiss on Rachel's forehead.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel sighed.

That made two of them. Quinn was incredibly confused. Why would Rachel care what happened between Quinn and Puck? How was that any of her business? She wasn't even sure how she felt about Puck but now to have her friends involved? Things were just getting way too complicated and if Quinn was honest with herself, she was still too buzzed for any of them to be dealing with this tonight.

Brittany said she should leave soon. She asked Quinn if she could handle taking care of Rachel. Quinn nodded.

Rachel, meanwhile, had a terrible taste in her mouth. It was so dry. She couldn't concentrate on whatever Brittany was trying to tell her while everything in her body was screaming at her to either go to sleep or throw up again. She didn't think she could throw up anymore though. There was nothing left in her. But all this talk about Puck and Quinn made her nauseous all over again. She didn't want to sleep. She wanted to figure out this code. She wanted to know exactly what Brittany meant by telling her to be careful. It's not like she was going to go after Quinn. Puck liked her…and Quinn was straight. Rachel was drunk but she wasn't an idiot. So what was Brittany talking about? Rachel didn't even like Quinn like that. She'd just never had a real friend before. That's why her stomach always did weird flippy things. That had to be the reason. She couldn't possibly like Quinn. Brittany was the one who was stupid.

"I'm gonna go then. Let me know if you need anything. You guys are my best friends and even though Rachel threw up, I had a lot of fun," Brittany grinned and hugged Quinn before leaving.

Quinn sighed deeply wondering how her night had turned into this mess.

"Let's get you some more water. Can't get dehydrated. If you throw it up, we'll just keep giving you more until your stomach settles. First, let's get you changed," Quinn's melodic voice soothed the spinning in Rachel's head a little.

The lessening of the spinning was temporary as Quinn lifted the other girl into a sitting position and pulled off her shirt. Rachel groaned in protest.

"I know, I know, sweetheart. It sucks, but trust me, Rach, you'll feel a lot better if you don't have to smell smoky bar and vomit when you wake up in the morning."

Rachel could barely feel Quinn slipping another shirt on over her head. She knew it wasn't her own though by the smell of it. Rachel started to drift off to sleep as Quinn's scent overwhelmed all her senses making her feel less nauseous in the bad way and making her stomach flip in the good way instead. But she couldn't possibly like Quinn Fabray.

_AN: Think of it as my tribute to Glee. They had two episodes in a week so I've done two updates in a week...well technically 7 but two different posts of multiple chapters so whatever. I was trying to be clever. Hope you enjoy! As always, please review! Thank you, come again!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Rachel's head felt like it was being split open. What was that bright light? It was making the pounding in her head even worse. It was like each beam of light was boring into her brain and threatening to explode her head into little bits. She squinted against the attack but it was no use. Suddenly there was a dark shadow covering her face. She opened one eye cautiously, praying that the light wouldn't make a sneak attack and kill her brain.

"Good morning, Sunshine," Quinn grinned.

Rachel attempted to speak but her throat was too dry and it hurt.

"Drink some water. You puked your guts out last night," Quinn said in a sing-song voice while still grinning.

The light made a quick appearance around her form and Rachel immediately groaned.

"I've got it," Quinn replied and threw her blanket up and tucked it into the curtain rod, creating a much darker curtain. "Better?"

Rachel took a drink of the water sitting on the stand by her bed.

"Much," she replied hoarsely.

"How's your head?"

"Pounding."

"Take these," Quinn instructed, producing a bottle of aspirin.

Rachel easily downed the aspirin in hope of relief and drank the rest of her water.

"What happened?" Rachel asked rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"Well, we went to the bar. You thought it would be fun to drink far more than necessary, considering how much you really don't drink on a regular basis. You drank probably three times your body weight, Tiny. Then you nearly puked in the bar. We went outside. You threw up…several times actually…once even on my shoes. So thanks for that. Then we brought you home and you threw up a few more times after I attempted to give you water and aspirin last night," Quinn explained.

"I threw up on your shoes?" Rachel asked miserably.

"A little. It's not a big deal though. I have like eighty other pairs. I wasn't a huge fan of that pair in particular anyway. They sort of pinched my toes a little."

"I'm so sorry."

"No, it's cool. I learned a lot of interesting things about you last night."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Quinn answered enthusiastically before continuing, "for instance, I learned that you can't hold your liquor, you hate Steve Madden stiletto pumps and show that disgust by vomiting on them."

Rachel cringed as Quinn laughed.

She kept going, "you also have an extreme dislike of pervy, old cab drivers. You even told ours that his cab smelled like expired Whiskies cat food…the wet kind. Or at least that was how you put it."

"Oh my God," Rachel groaned.

"You also love the winter in Ohio. You told me that three times last night after your fourth and fifth rounds of puking. You were obsessed with 98 Degrees. Jeff was your favorite of that group. Nick Carter was actually your least favorite Backstreet Boy even though you told your best friend, Lana, was it?"

"Laura."

"Right, Laura, you told Laura that Nick was your favorite. But you only said that because she already claimed Brian as hers. You stopped hanging out with Laura in 8th grade because her parents found out you had two dads. You will win a Tony just to spite your mother and the people who doubted you. Barbara Streisand is God. You said that at least fifteen times," Quinn chuckled.

Rachel only buried her face deeper into her pillow in embarrassment.

"Also your dad is the best cook ever. His Vegan penne pasta is to die for. Your daddy is incapable of making even an edible PB&J. Being friends with Brittany is like watching a reality TV show because she's horribly entertaining in a guilty pleasure kind of way. This ringing any bells?"

"Did I talk all night?" Rachel asked with a small pout.

"On and off. At first you just groaned a lot and said you were going to die. The particularly chatty stages didn't come on until the third vomit spell in our room."

"What else did I say?"

"Oh bits and pieces that didn't really make sense. You just kind of rambled on about everything I could ever possibly want to know about you," Quinn teased.

"I am so sorry."

"It was actually kind of fun for me. Don't let that get around though. I normally avoid taking care of drunks."

"The Nick Carter story, huh?" Rachel asked after a moment.

Quinn dissolved into a fit of giggles and nodded.

"I hate my life," Rachel whined.

"But your life is so totally awesome. I mean you loved boybands, showtunes, and-and horses. Oh I forgot your love of horses. You always wanted one but you didn't have a farm. You lived in the city, only people on the outskirts of Lima could have a farm."

"I can't believe I'm such an idiot. Why did I do that last night?"

"Wanna hear the best thing?" Quinn asked with a mischievous grin.

"I'm afraid to ask."

"It's one of your new college fears."

"Oh man, I bet I don't want to know."

Quinn seemed so pleased with herself. She opened up her mouth and immediately started to laugh. She tried to compose herself but kept giggling.

"You're afraid Puck wants to have sex with you," she giggled.

Rachel was waiting. She knew there was more to it than that. The way Quinn was laughing told her it would get much, much worse.

"And you're not into him because you like women but, more importantly…"

Quinn started laughing again and Rachel knew she so going to regret whatever it was she said.

"But…you're afraid that he has a tiny penis now from doing steroids or something."

Quinn burst out laughing. Rachel's head pounded slightly with her laughter but it was so nice to see her enjoying herself so much that Rachel didn't have the heart to tell her to stop. She would suffer the pain to watch Quinn's nose crinkle and hear her musical laughter. In a way, the pain was worth it. Quinn finally composed herself.

"Brittany already told me that it's not huge, but it's not small. It's just average," Quinn smirked.

"Thanks for the info," Rachel deadpanned. "For the record, I know he doesn't have a tiny penis…I do sometimes worry that he's into steroids. He's way too obsessed with his guns and we all know that steroids will decrease the size of a man's member."

"I can't wait to tell Puck you think he has a tiny dick," Quinn chuckled.

"Do not do that!" Rachel ordered, eyes wider than Quinn had ever seen. "He would kill me if he thought I was telling people that. It's not true."

"Like you would know."

"I did date him briefly," Rachel replied.

"Seriously? You know?"

"That is neither here nor there. I think some drunken secrets are best left between roommates. Can we just leave it at that?" Rachel asked.

"You so have a story and I want to hear it," Quinn grinned.

"Maybe someday. I'm not ready to tell you all of my secrets just yet," Rachel laughed.

"Fine, don't tell me…I will get it out of you eventually…even if that means I have to force feed you more liquor so you tell me your life story again," Quinn teased.

"So you're really not into Puck? From the way Brittany talked, I figured you two were destined to be the ultimate couple. Star crossed lovers and everything."

"I don't know. I mean he's nice. He's just…I don't know."

Rachel nodded silently and almost sympathetically.

"Yeah. He is," Rachel sighed. "So anything else incredibly embarrassing I should know about?"

"Nah. You miss home. You miss Finn sometimes. And you wish…you wish I'd like you," Quinn said softly.

"Oh."

"But you don't need to worry about that too much, anymore…cuz I do. I mean not like you, like you as in you know, how you like girls…just…well you're alright, Berry…and I'm sorry I gave you any reason to think I wouldn't want to be your friend. I hope you realize now that I would really like to be your friend."

"Thanks," Rachel smiled at her sincere words. "You're alright, too. I'm sorry I tried so hard to push you away. I'm just not used to having real friends."

Quinn nodded. They were silent for a moment. Quinn sat back down on her own bed and stared off into space a little. Rachel kept watching her every move. She didn't know if she should speak up or if she should wait for more from the blonde. Rachel guessed they we're cool now, which was good. I still felt like something was off, though.

"I don't miss Finn being my boyfriend…he was just my first true friend," Rachel explained.

She had no idea why she needed to clarify. She wanted to tell Quinn everything.

"Oh…Brittany mentioned something about him and Santana…and I heard you guys talking about him being your ex…I mean I don't know everything. But I…that really sucks, what happened. I'm sorry," Quinn fumbled.

"It's alright. It's in the past now. I still miss him but…well you know how it is. Sometimes no matter how much you want to feel for someone you just don't. He was my best friend. He and Puck were very close. When Puck and I started hanging out, Finn was always around. Puck and I just work as friends. We've known each other since we were kids. We dated for like two weeks, but that was all it took for me to get to know Finn and love him a little, you know. Puck and I were friends in secret so I wouldn't ruin his reputation. Finn joined the glee club to get closer to me. I didn't know what love was supposed to feel like so I was sure that's what I felt for Finn. I was a nobody and he was the quarterback. People still made fun of me even when we started dating. He never took up for me. He just let it happen. Gradually, people got used to seeing us together. Our glee club won Nationals that year. Then it was like some switch flipped and all the glee club losers were finally kind of cool. I became friends with some of the girls. They gave me a makeover. Told me to stop dressing like a toddler and old lady at the same time. I gave up my argyle sweaters and plaid skirts for a more acceptable wardrobe. Then…things happened. I realized I couldn't fight who I was. As soon as everyone else found out, I was back at the bottom. All my so-called friends ditched, Puck ditched, and my best friend, Finn, hated me," Rachel confessed.

"I'm sorry," Quinn whispered.

"Yeah."

They were silent again. It was still off somehow.

"So what went down with Santana girl yesterday had to do with all of that? She's with Finn now and yesterday was part of all of that stuff from high school?" Quinn asked cautiously.

"All of that stuff? Yes."

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's cool," Quinn mumbled, feeling immediately ashamed for even asking.

"No big deal. We, um…Puck or Brittany might have told you about her a little. Santana went to high school with us. We were all friends when I was dating Finn…or sort of friends. They tolerated me at least. Santana was probably my closest female friend at the time…or I thought she was…she was the first person I told when I thought I might be gay…we're not close anymore. So that basically sums it up."

"Oh…sorry."

"It's cool. She and Brittany were incredibly close. Far closer than regular friends. I think the fact that I wasn't afraid to be who I am, threw her for a loop because she's always been afraid to let people see her. I told her I was gay. I wasn't going to hide it anymore. She got mad. She told Finn. They've been together ever since and she doesn't really speak to Brittany anymore."

"Oh."

"I'm fine with it. I just feel bad for Brittany. As much as I miss Finn as my best friend, Santana was her everything. They were each other's everything in very sense of the phrase. But Brittany was a cheerleader so she was protected from a social downfall like mine. Santana said that sex wasn't dating and they didn't mean anything to each other. I guess that protected both of their reputations. Plus, being bisexual is hot to guys. Being a lesbian and unpopular wasn't hot. It just made me a freak."

"Wow."

Rachel nodded and they were back to silence once again.

_ AN: There a quick little update and some background about the Finn, Santana, and Rachel situation. Also random fun facts about Rachel. I didn't even realize till I went to post this that the horses thing works so perfectly with Lea Michele's PETA campaign haha. Thanks for reading! Please review! Thank you, come again!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It had taken Rachel and Quinn all day on Sunday to recover from their Saturday night fun. The whole week following had been it's own special brand of torture though. Not that Quinn was still hung over on Monday, she hadn't drank that much. She just couldn't seem to catch up on the sleep that she missed taking care of Rachel all night. Then Rachel had been in no shape to do Monday's homework on Sunday. Therefore, she was way behind on all her reading for English and the three plays she was supposed to read for her acting class. So the torture began, Rachel kept complaining about never catching up and Quinn hadn't been able to sleep because Rachel wouldn't stop complaining. By Wednesday night, Quinn still hadn't slept and Rachel was at the end of her rope. The tiny diva wouldn't shut up and all Quinn wanted to do was sleep…so she snapped. Quinn vowed to never party with the girl again if she wouldn't shut up about her homework. That comment had resulted in the first real fight the roommates had shared. It began with Quinn's vow to stop hanging with Rachel and ended with Rachel screaming about people calling her a drama queen when the queen of such behavior was obviously the blonde. By Thursday night, all was forgiven and the two were back to giggling and having the exact slumber parties Rachel swore they wouldn't share on that first day they met. They found that by teasing each other about trivial things, they could work through their fight. As long as they stuck to joking about Quinn being an old (she was three months older than Rachel) or how Rachel was a midget, they could work past it. If either one brought into their own insecurities of Quinn's family, Rachel's sexuality, Quinn being another dumb blonde, or Rachel being too much of a diva to have friends…well those were the below the belt comments they were learning to avoid.

Thursday night the two spent talking till at least two in the morning. Nothing majorly important was really discussed but then again it wasn't exactly trivial conversation either. It was just two friends, talking about who they were. Each detail wasn't more or less important than the others. It was all helping Quinn figure out the enigma that was Rachel Berry and helping Rachel discover the wonderful girl who had been hidden under so many layers for much of Quinn Fabray's life. Rachel had taken up sitting at the group table in the cafeteria. She even told Quinn that she spoke out of turn in at least three of her classes earning several shocked stares from her classmates who swore she was mute and a look of pride, according to Rachel, on Tina and Mercedes' faces. Mercedes had argued that she wasn't proud of the tiny brunette's outburst and need to always be right. Tina begrudgingly admitted it was nice to have some of the 'old Rachel Berry' back.

It was finally time for the weekend and Quinn couldn't wait to catch up on her sleep. Not that she really missed it anymore. The first few nights were terrible but then she couldn't bring herself to go to bed early when she and Rachel had their slumber party Thursday night. It had been great getting to know her roommate and vice versa. Rachel felt like they were finally on the track to being friends. Brittany was so excited to have her "two worlds together" as she put it. Now all of her friends were friends. She and Rachel were like the ultimate comedy duo. Brittany had no idea she was funny and Rachel would calmly explain everything while the rest of their friends laughed. Rachel and Puck were pretty great together, too. In the rare moments when they didn't know Quinn was watching they were so considerate of each other. He really cared about her and it was obvious she'd do anything for the Jewish boy. He's the one person, other than Quinn of course, with whom Rachel gave as good as she got. They would tease each other relentlessly. Rachel even shocked them all by proving that it wasn't just alcohol that gave her a snappy little foul mouth. Puck just seemed to bring out the best in her that way. However, the two friends would get a little weird whenever Quinn was the topic of conversation. Puck would kind of freeze up and give Rachel the cold shoulder. If Quinn didn't watch Rachel's reactions so closely sometimes, the blonde thought she might miss the flash of hurt in the singer's eyes. It was momentary but then she went about her business, usually insulting Puck for being insecure that a tiny girl like her could ever steal a girl from a big powerful hunk of a man like him.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Puck questioned Quinn at dinner.

"Tonight? What's going on tonight?" Brittany asked before stealing some macaroni from Quinn's plate.

"Hey, eat your own food," Quinn whined.

"My macaroni is cold."

Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes before switching trays with Brittany. Brittany beamed at her friend and began eating Quinn's "warmer" macaroni. Rachel watched the interaction and grinned. She knew that Quinn had mentioned being a bitch in high school, but Rachel really couldn't see how that was true. Quinn was one of the sweetest girls the brunette had ever known.

"Actually tonight is just a Quinn and me, alone, kind of thing," Puck explained happily.

"A date? Where are you going?" Mercedes gushed.

"Well I've been trying to think of something special to do."

"Like what?" Rachel asked.

"That's between me and Quinn," Puck said in a strange way.

Rachel's head snapped up at his tone. She looked at him curiously. The flash of hurt was there for a split second then it disappeared. She put on a smile.

"Mr. Secretive. Impressive," she teased. She was a much better actress than most of their friends gave her credit for.

"Oh come on. Tell us," Tina giggled.

"Truthfully I have a couple of ideas but I haven't picked. I wanted to run things by Quinn."

"I thought it was the guy's job to plan the date," Rachel mumbled quietly, before stabbing her macaroni a little harder than necessary.

After a quick glance around the table, Quinn realized she was the only one who heard the singer. She nudged Rachel gently with her foot under the table. The singer looked up at her and returned Quinn's smile with ease.

"I just wanted to run it by her like a gentleman," Puck glared.

Resulting in "ooo gentlemen" and "you must really like Quinn" type comments from Mercedes and Tina. To which Puck replied with a sheepish "shut up."

"We didn't mean to insult your dating techniques. I'm sure it'll be great. I hope you both have a great time," Artie teased, before squeezing Tina's hand and smiling at her.

"What did you have in mind?" Mercedes asked, ignoring the affection of the newly formed couple of Ar-tina.

"There's a new Cameron Diaz romantic comedy that just came out. We could see that…or um, we could go walking around the boardwalk…or there's the Planetarium show."

"The boardwalk sounds good," Quinn smiled at him.

"If you want another idea I know of a wonderful, quaint open mic night. There's usually good music from up and coming acts. It's an outdoor amphitheatre not too far from here. They play mostly indie-rock of the lighter, more love song persuasion. It can be a little over the top and I already checked they don't let cover bands play or singers who would like to introduce a different audience to some Broadway classics. So it might not be the most appealing for everyone but I have been impressed with some of the material. Occasionally there will be just a guy and a guitar and amazing lyrics. It's never really crowded because not a lot of people know about it, but you take can a couple of blankets and you've got stars, good music, and good company. It's a little on the more romantic side of the spectrum, but I've always thought it would make a fantastic date. It's been an ideal date location for me though I've yet to use it myself. I could tell you how to get there," Rachel suggested.

That sounded like the perfect date to Quinn, too. But that kind of setting would definitely make hanging with Puck a real date though and not just two friends hanging out.

"Thanks for the suggestion. It's your call, Q."

"Boardwalk sounds great. Besides, you put a lot of thought into it," Quinn said slowly, attempting to diffuse the tension that had suddenly appeared between Puck and Rachel.

"Well have fun. I'm heading back to the room. I'm not really that hungry and I've sort of got a headache," Rachel smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Brittany watched the singer sadly as Rachel left.

"What's going on with her?" Mercedes asked.

"Rachel can't take it when she's not the center of attention," Puck grumbled.

"You know that's not it, Puck," Brittany snapped.

Everyone looked shocked as the dancer rarely got angry. She was such a happy and bubbly person that even Puck cowered slightly by her tone.

"Whoa, B. I didn't mean any offense to Rachel. I'm sorry if it came out weird," Puck started back tracking immediately.

"Y'all can discuss this in private if you want," Artie piped in awkwardly.

"It's cool. There's nothing to discuss," Puck replied with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah. Still, I'm done so um…I'm out. Peace," Artie grabbed his tray and placed it in his lap.

"Me too," Tina offered a small smile as Artie placed her tray in his lap as well to dump their trash.

Silence settled over the rest. There was something going on that none of them really wanted to address. Quinn was so sick of these awkward pauses. She wished somebody would fill her in. Why was Puck suddenly so against Rachel and Quinn hanging out? They were roommates, it was bound to happen eventually.

"Can you be ready by eight?" Puck asked sweetly.

Quinn nodded. He kissed the top of her head and left without a word to the others.

"That was new," Quinn referred to his little head kissing.

Mercedes laughed a little and shook her head, "He's really into you."

Quinn nodded meekly.

"So you're totally left out, aren't you?" Brittany asked, grimacing slightly.

"Yes! Please, fill me in," Quinn begged. "Why is he acting like this?"

The other two girls laughed before looking around cautiously.

"This really isn't the place for this conversation. Britt's room?" Mercedes suggested.

"Let's go."

Mercedes, Brittany, and Quinn made it to her room in record time. Luckily, Robin, Brittany's weirdo pothead roomie, wasn't there. Mercedes told Quinn if she needed to do a lot to get ready for her date then she should just go now because the story would take a while. Quinn told her that it didn't matter. She was just hanging out with Puck and they weren't really dating so she didn't need to freshen up that much. Quinn had been a little drunk when she accepted the date but didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"Then you need to set that boy straight because he thinks you're going to be his girlfriend and if you're not into it, you need to tell him now," Mercedes warned.

"I know. I just thought we could hang out and be friends. Casually see where this thing is going, but he keeps getting weird. I thought Puck was a whore. Isn't he supposed to hit it and quit it or something? I don't get why he's trying so hard."

"Because he actually likes you. He hasn't really liked a girl since Rachel," Brittany replied.

"It's story time," Mercedes grinned.

"Okay. But you didn't hear all of this from me," Brittany groaned.

"Secret's safe with me, girl."

"Please. You're the biggest gossip in our group, Cedes," Quinn laughed.

"Whatever. Tina basically told me everything anyway. Artie told her."

"Right," Brittany nodded, "So you know that we were all in high school together? Puck, Rachel, Artie, Finn, Santana, and me?"

"Yeah, it's been mentioned," Quinn replied.

"Right. Well I told you how Rachel dated Puck," Brittany started.

"Rachel already told me that she dated Puck, that's how she met that Finn guy and they were like in love or something."

"Well when we all talk about how Rachel was unpopular, we mean she was like bottom of the school, like living in the basement on the popularity thing. She had no friends. She wore terrible clothes. She talked way too much, which really hasn't changed that much. She was a know-it-all. She was loud. I didn't really like her. Santana said that Rachel was one of those girls who just thought she was better than everybody. So all of the cheerleaders used make fun of her. She would put all of these videos of her singing on the internet. They were really good. Santana and the other girls said we should leave comments. The things we put on her songs were always really mean. I felt bad about it, but Santana said that Rachel wasn't a good person and that we were supposed to say those things."

"Wait, Berry had a MySpace page?" Mercedes giggled.

"Are you going to ask questions or let me tell the story?"

"Tell the story," the diva sighed.

"Thank you. Well Puck and Rachel went to Jewish church together," Brittany began again.

"Temple," Mercedes corrected.

"My story, my words," Brittany ordered.

Mercedes shrugged while Quinn chuckled.

"So Puck and Rachel went to Jewish church together."

Mercedes huffed but remained silent while Quinn's eyes twinkled with amusement.

"They were like secret friends. Puck's mom really liked Rachel and after he thought he was going to have a baby with one of the cheerleaders his mom went like nuts. She made him hang out with Rachel. Then they actually became friends. We were like sophomores or something. By the time summer was coming, Puck had decided he would date Rachel. He actually liked her, which was the weird thing. So they dated in secret but Finn was Puck's best friend. Once Puck started bringing Rachel around Finn, it was pretty clear that they didn't need Puck to hang out with them. Finn is kind of dumb but Rachel liked to help him. We had finals and she helped him study and everybody in school got used to Rachel and Finn always hanging out even though she was dating Puck. We just didn't know she was dating Puck."

"Wait I thought Puck and Rachel only dated for like two weeks?" Mercedes asked.

"Questions," Brittany hissed before continuing as Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Puck and Rachel only dated for about two weeks but they hung out in secret a lot longer because they were good friends. They broke up and he started hooking up with Santana. Finn started dating Rachel but not in secret. He joined the glee club and they would sing together. They were really good. Santana was always around then because she was sleeping with Puck. They weren't dating because sex wasn't dating. She was also sleeping with other guys and he was sleeping with other girls. She was even kind of sleeping with me."

Mercedes gasped at that but didn't interrupt when Brittany glanced at her.

"Rachel started getting popular at the beginning of junior year when she was with Finn. People still made fun of her but she didn't dress as weird cuz Santana was helping her with that. They were like weird friends. I don't think they actually liked each other that much but they were friends. Santana would make fun of her but they still told each other stuff. Then glee won some big competition thing so people started thinking Rachel was kind of okay. They didn't make fun of her as much. Nobody slushied her because Santana beat up like three different hockey players who thought they could still do that to Rachel. So then they were like actually friends. Then senior year, they were both nominated for Homecoming queen. They were like the queens of the school. Or more like Rachel was Queen and Santana was her vice president. Santana started getting mad at Rachel because so many people started to like her. Santana wanted to be the queen. The only thing that made Santana more popular than Rachel was that S was the captain of the cheerleading squad. But that never bothered Rachel because she didn't want to be captain or even a cheerleader else I think she could've been in charge there too. She only cared about glee though."

"That sounds about right," Mercedes muttered.

Brittany glared and continued, "Rachel was dating the star of the football team and the basketball team. She was captain of the glee club and the drama club. She was in like eight other weird clubs. She had more than enough stuff to do. She didn't want to be a cheerleader or the most popular girl in school. She just wanted to date Finn and didn't care about that stuff. Santana was always jealous though. I mean she worked so hard to be captain but people really started to notice Rachel. Once glee club was cool and everybody in town knew how well Rachel could sing, that was all people could talk about. Then everything with Rachel's real mom blew up and not only was she popular but she was like famous cuz her real mom was famous before she died and that made Rachel even more popular. Plus the way Rachel's mom died made everybody talk about her so then her mom was really, really famous and then everybody talked about Rachel even more. I think that's when Rachel started to hate it. People kept talking about her and everything that happened with her mom. She wasn't happy. Plus, she started realizing she didn't feel the things for Finn she should've. She told Santana that she had always loved him and she always would…but he was starting to feel more like her brother or just a best friend. See, Rachel had been gay long before she figured out she was. Rachel didn't actually find out until the same time that S found out about her."

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked curiously.

Brittany didn't even reprimand her or Mercedes who were both so enthralled in the dancer's retelling of all the events that occurred in Rachel's past.

"We were all celebrating the big tournament win over the Panthers. I hated the Panthers. They always beat us, but senior year we beat them in the championship. It was a huge party. Finn was the man that night. Everyone kept giving him drinks. Everyone kept giving Rachel drinks. Santana kept getting drinks. Santana got really drunk and whenever she's drunk she tells all her secrets. She told Rachel that she had always had a small thing for Finn even though he was Rachel's boyfriend. Rachel was really drunk, too she told Santana it was okay because she didn't really love him like that. Then Santana and I snuck off to make-out like we'd been doing since the beginning of the year. Rachel caught us making out on the back porch. Santana got really mad at Rachel and at me. She took Rachel upstairs and they talked about everything. She told Santana it was okay if she liked me because Rachel liked girls, too…Santana was supposed to be Rachel's best friend. She thought she could tell S anything and she thought she was helping S with me. Instead, Santana told Finn…in front of everyone at the party. Rachel was pretty sad so she locked herself in the bathroom all night. Then in the morning when she came out, some kid called her dyke and she cried. She tried to find her best friend and her boyfriend to fix things….then she found them. In bed. Together. Naked. Finn hooked up with Santana after dumping Rachel in front of everybody at the party, right after S had told everyone that Rachel was gay."

"I can't believe Santana did that. I can't believe Finn did that either," Quinn uttered disgusted.

"Tina told me a little about it from what Artie told her. In Finn's defense, it sounds like he was incredibly drunk and incredibly heartbroken when Santana told him the truth about Rachel and Rachel didn't deny it. Finn was so in love with her. Artie told Tina that it took Finn a long time to get over it," Mercedes added in.

"Heartbroken or not, that doesn't excuse what he did. He should have talked to her, not jumped into bed with her best friend," Quinn argued.

"Yeah. It was all pretty messed up. Once Santana told everybody the truth, the entire school started making fun of Rachel again. Slushies, stealing her books, saying mean things on the internet, calling her 'Manhands' and really bad names for lesbians. They stole her stuff. People shoved her into lockers. It was way worse than the first two years of high school for her."

"The only thing people love more than building somebody up in power is tearing them back down again," Quinn replied.

"She didn't have anybody. Santana was terrible to her. Finn was really hurt. Puck was mad that she never told him. Then when spring rolled around and that school in New York didn't want her, she just kind of disappeared. She didn't talk to anybody. She didn't even look at anybody. The glee club was supposed to sing at graduation but she quit and wouldn't sing with them. Finn and Santana were dating by then and they sang instead. That's when Puck realized how bad things were for Rachel. Everybody was hugging and crying at graduation and she just sat in the corner with one of her dads. The other one had to work at the hospital and couldn't come. I guess that's when Puck decided to be her friend. They hung out all summer. He's really the only friend she's ever had who hasn't completely ditched her…except for senior year. He definitely ditched her for a few months then, but he's back now. I still don't think she's over it. They're friends but I know she's still scared that he'll ditch her again if things get too messy," Brittany finished.

"I had no idea. I mean, she hinted at crappy things happening but…in all our conversations…she says a lot without ever saying what's really going, doesn't she?" Quinn asked.

"That's the new Rachel. She's super guarded."

"With reason," Mercedes snorted.

"Sometimes I miss the old Rachel," Brittany said softly. "She was kind of annoying but she was always really nice and she'd tell you anything you wanted to know. She was really honest. She didn't seem to hurt as much as this Rachel does."

Quinn nodded sadly, suddenly understanding everything. It all made sense. No wonder the brunette had been so reluctant to be friends with her. She had too many so-called friends turn on her for being gay. When Quinn seemed so squeamish about the idea that first day, it merely confirmed Rachel's fears that nobody would want to be friends with her.

_AN: And I'm back! I finally got a day off work so I got in a couple of updates! Hope you enjoy! As always, please review and thank you, come again!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

A week later Quinn was finally on her "date" with Puck. She actually cancelled the week before because she couldn't wrap her head around everything she had learned about Rachel. Quinn finally decided to suck it up and go out with him. He kept talking about football and all of the Columbus hot spots he'd been to since school started. He threw in a little more sports talk before Quinn totally zoned out. She merely nodded her head and pretended to listen. He talked about classes. She responded at the right times. It really didn't feel like a date. It just felt like two friends walking on the boardwalk talking about pointless junk.

Quinn couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. She was trying really hard not to look at Puck differently. How could he just abandon Rachel like that when he was supposed to be her friend? How could they all do that to her? If Rachel forgave him though, Quinn should've been able to. It didn't even involve her. Still, she felt really bad about the whole thing and couldn't get the idea out of her head of Puck just throwing Rachel to the wolves.

A part of her wished she would've moved to Lima a couple years ago so she could've been there for Rachel. She would've stuck by the other girl. But would she really have stuck by her? Quinn was just as obsessed with her image in high school as it seemed Brittany and Santana had been. Quinn was the head cheerleader and only dated Sam because it was what her parents wanted. With her being captain of the Cheerios and him being the captain of the football team, it just made sense that they would date for popularity's sake. She had been just as shallow as the cheerleaders at McKinley. Would she really have been any different? Or would she have tortured Rachel just as much, if not more?

Then this whole Finn/Santana thing bothered Quinn way more than it should. She didn't even know them and she hated them. How could Santana do that to one of her best friends? How could Finn do that to his girlfriend who he supposedly loved? Sure he was hurt, but he shouldn't have let them torture Rachel. Shoving her? Ruining her clothes? Spray-painting 'dyke' on her locker? How could he just stand by and let the whole school treat someone he loved like dirt. No matter how hurt she would've been by something like that, Quinn couldn't image just standing by and letting anyone she loved be harassed in such a terrible way. Maybe Finn just really didn't love Rachel after all. Quinn figured that if anybody dated Rachel for a while they would have to love her a little though. She had only been on friendly terms with the singer for a few weeks, but the former cheerleader was painfully aware of how wonderful Rachel was. Rachel would give anything for Brittany, who had abandoned her in high school just like everyone else, whether it was her macaroni when Quinn wasn't there to trade or to give the clothes right off her back to the dancer. She was protective of Brittany and stood up for her when people said the dancer was dumb. Rachel didn't have to do that.

And the way Rachel put on a brave face when Puck took a jab at her in front of Quinn. Anything to prevent him from feeling pain. Rachel wouldn't want him to feel bad for making her feel bad…and he would. He wasn't some jerk. Brittany said he was just insecure about Rachel being too close to Quinn. Rachel was the only girl he ever really liked in high school. Quinn was the only girl he had liked since. He'd already lost Rachel and was terrified of losing Quinn. Quinn wasn't sure why he thought he would lose her to Rachel of all people though. Rachel was a girl and last time she checked, Quinn was still straight. Puck wasn't taking any chances for some reason.

Quinn was honestly trying to pay attention to him that night. She didn't want to fuel his insecurities but she couldn't help wishing she was back in her dorm. She wanted to talk to Rachel. She wanted to tell the singer she was there for her. She wouldn't hurt her. She could trust Quinn to be the kind of friend she had always needed. She couldn't be strong for everybody all the time. After watching Rachel lately, Quinn noticed that's exactly what she was trying to do. She was still broken but pretending to be solid for everyone else. Rachel didn't want Brittany and Puck to know she was still hurt by them. She didn't want Artie to know that she had felt abandoned by him as well even though they were never close in high school. Quinn wanted Rachel to let her all the way in. She could be that friend for Rachel.

"Q?" Puck asked, grabbing her attention finally.

"Hmm? Sorry."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Quinn replied quickly.

"You're not having fun," he sighed sadly.

"No, I am…I'm just…distracted, I guess."

"Oh…I can take you back."

"No. You don't have to. I'll get it together," the girl promised.

"It's cool. I'm a little beat from practices and everything anyway," he smiled half-heartedly.

Quinn smiled gratefully as they called it a night.

Back at her dorm, Quinn was trying to unlock the door but the stupid lock was jammed. The door opened suddenly.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" Quinn asked as Rachel attempted to adjust her eyes to the light from the hallway.

"I heard you jingling around out here," the brunette laughed. "I wasn't dead asleep."

"Obviously or else you wouldn't have heard me. If you can sleep through your snoring then I bet once you're out, you're really out," Quinn teased.

"Shut up and get in here. I'm missing precious moments of beauty sleep."

"You need it," Quinn chuckled as Rachel pulled her into the room.

It took a minute for Quinn eyes to adjust. She could barely make out Rachel's shape curled up in bed. Quinn knew the other girl wasn't asleep though because even though she couldn't see Rachel's eyes, she could feel them on her.

"Did you have a good time?" Rachel asked softly.

"Not really. I mean Puck's great but I just don't feel it."

"Then why go?"

Quinn began to undress and get ready for bed. She could still feel Rachel's eyes on her and it made my heart pick up a little. Quinn didn't try to cover up though. It wasn't like Rachel could see her clearly anyway. It was pretty dark. Quinn had a bra and underwear on so it could've been worse. She slipped on a tank top and shorts and climbed into bed.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"What?"

"Why did you go?"

"Because I told him I would. I didn't want to back out just because I was drunk when I said yes," Quinn answered honestly.

The blonde almost asleep when she heard Rachel speak up again.

"Why did you say yes when you were drunk?"

"I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. He's cute. He's nice. We get along really well. I should like him. He's everything I'm supposedly looking for. Plus, everybody gets lonely sometimes," Quinn muttered through her sleep muddled brain.

"I don't," Rachel said softly.

"I don't believe you."

"I don't know if you've noticed but I get along pretty well on my own."

"I still don't believe you. Maybe you tried to convince yourself you don't need anybody but you're wrong. You've been hanging around here a lot lately. We hang out a lot. You have friends, Rachel. I know it's hard for you to accept that, but I'm your friend…and I'm not going anywhere. With me around, you don't have to be lonely anymore. It's ok though. I won't tell anybody that you actually need someone other than yourself," Quinn smiled into the darkness.

"I'm pretty sure the secret's out," Rachel's voice was becoming huskier as sleep started to settle in on her too.

"I'm here for you. You're one of my best friends. Not everybody is going to let you down, Rach. I promise I won't," Quinn whispered with conviction.

"You're so cheesy, Quinn," she teased but the blonde could hear the gratitude in her voice.

"And I am your cheesy friend. Be happy about it. And as far as dating goes, it'll fall into place, too. You've got friends and you'll find someone to date. It's a big college. This isn't Lima, Ohio anymore. There's somebody out there for everybody. You'll find her. There's a girl, or guy, or whoever for everyone," Quinn continued ignoring the singer's teasing.

"Finding a girl is not necessarily part of my ten-year plan. I need to focus on my career before I worry about finding a partner to settle down with. Not all of us need to find our soul mate. In fact, there are a lot of people who realize what a bunch of bull that whole concept is. I don't go searching for something that doesn't exist. I'm working hard to make a career and a name for myself. What's the point in getting lonely over nothing?" she asked, suddenly sounding almost hurt and not so peaceful and tired anymore

"Someday you're gonna fall so hard. You think you've got the world figured out because a bunch of close-minded idiots put it into your head that you're supposed to be alone forever. But I promise you this, Rachel Berry. Someday you're gonna fall hard for some girl and it'll be that fall that'll knock some sense into you," Quinn argued, no longer tired and unsure of what the argument mattered so much to her.

"Falling doesn't do that. Hitting the ground after the fall knocks sense into you. Someday _**you'll**_ learn that."

"So cynical for someone so young."

"So naïve for someone so old," she teased.

They had pulled the age difference card. Things were getting tense and Rachel had pulled out the age difference. Quinn was being sincere when she said Rachel was too cynical for someone their age. The brunette was clearly done with the conversation and wanted to lighten things up.

"Maybe I am naive, but there's nothing wrong with having a little hope."

Quinn didn't know why she was so set on arguing with Rachel on this. They had used the age card that meant the discussion was over and they were supposed to go back to joking around and being okay. But Quinn couldn't let it go. It hurt her to think that Rachel felt she had no hope of finding real friends and a true love. That's what this was all about. It came back to all of those people who hurt her. It went back to Santana and Finn. It always came back to Rachel's insecurities and Quinn needing to be the kind of friend who wouldn't desert her, who wouldn't let her believe she was worthless or had no hope of being loved.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with hope…until that hope gets ripped away," Rachel mumbled quietly.

"I know you got burned or whatever but-,"

"Nobody burned me, Quinn. Who even says that? Burned? Realistically the statement holds no truth. You don't get burned in a relationship unless someone physically burns you, which would be an entirely different matter. That's a different kind of abuse. And nobody broke my heart and ripped it into pieces. I hate expressions like that. If you take them from a literal standpoint they hold no value," Rachel rambled.

"Fine, I understand that you got hurt-," Quinn started again, becoming annoyed with Rachel's endless diatribes about useless information.

"Nobody _hurt _me. I did that. I hurt them. I hurt Finn. Then I was forced to grow up. It's doesn't take some painful life-altering experience, only common sense. Some people in this world suck. I learned that early on with how my fathers were treated by the rest of the town. Some people are hateful and will do anything to bring you down. That's just the way things are. I have a lot of talent. I'm a great singer. I'm a great actress. I'm much bigger than the problems and issues of Lima, Ohio. I'm over it though. And now I'm tired and I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm sorry your date with Puck sucked. I don't know how that made you decide you were the love guru but I don't want to hear it. I appreciate you being my friend, Quinn. Really I do, but right now I just want to sleep. So thank you but good night."

"Santana was an idiot for breaking your trust. They were all idiots and I'm sorry you had to get hurt. I'm sorry you're still not over it," Quinn whispered after a few moments.

"God you're annoying and I am over it. I'm going to sleep," Rachel growled. "And tell Brittany to keep her mouth shut. She doesn't know what she's filling your head with. I'm not the broken little girl I was last year. I'm over it. I'm going to be a huge star when I leave here and transfer to Julliard. Then I'll make my way from Broadway to television to movies and eventually snag my own Grammy. Then all of those so-called idiots from Lima who hurt me or whatever will wish they were friends with the famous and fabulous Rachel Barbara Berry."

"Good night, Rachel."

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry, Rach," Quinn said meekly.

"If I call you annoying, it doesn't mean I hate you or think you'll abandon me. I really do appreciate all of your attempts at this friendship. I just want sleep," she said lightly without the angry tone her voice had just seconds before.

"Then good night, Rach."

"Good night, Quinn…and keep the backbone. Despite seeming incredibly naïve, I do appreciate what you're saying and what you're trying to do for me…who knows, maybe someday I'll actually believe you."

Quinn could tell Rachel was smiling even though it was too dark to see her. Quinn fell asleep with a smile on her face. Rachel did too.

That's how serious conversations always went with Rachel. She was nice one minute then guarded and on occasion snapped the next. Just when Quinn thought they were past that stage, Rachel took four steps backwards, making Quinn even doubt if Rachel actually knew their friendship was real. But Quinn wasn't worried. She didn't make her way to head cheerleader by giving up easily.

_AN: Its slowly developing...yay!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Mercedes gushed over Quinn's latest "date" with Puck at lunch. Despite their previous lackluster date, she and Puck had been hanging out more lately. He always wanted to go places with just the two of them…like real dates. The problem was they didn't feel like real dates. It just felt like Quinn was hanging out with one of her best friends. They still hadn't kissed. If Quinn was being honest with herself, she didn't even want to kiss him. She tried to explain it to Mercedes but the other girl was so sure that the blonde was just in a weird transition place between friend and girlfriend with Puck. Rachel and Puck were both absent from their little group that day so Mercedes was free to drill Quinn constantly on the situation.

"So how was it? Was he super romantic? I always figured Puck was a romantic at heart. Did you guys kiss?" Mercedes rattled on as she had been for the past ten minutes.

Quinn sat patiently waiting for her to take a breath so she could answer. Before Quinn had the chance, Brittany came bursting into the cafeteria followed by three of Santana's wannabe cheerleader groupies.

"If you think this is over, you're wrong," Groupie number 1 announced.

"Whatever. You all need to get over it. People are gay," Brittany retorted.

"Yeah? Well, you better take a good look at Berry's face because you'll be next if you get in our way again," Groupie number 2 grumbled and shoved the blonde.

The three laughed at the shocked blonde before they left the cafeteria.

Brittany looked toward their table as if searching for Rachel. The comment landed on the two girls sitting there. Berry's face? Rachel's face? What happened to Rachel's face? Where was she? Quinn immediately sprang up and darted toward the door. As she started to open them she felt a hand on her arm.

"If they hurt Rachel, I will kick their asses," Brittany promised.

"Follow me. We'll find her," Mercedes promised as Quinn's heart raced.

They rounded the corner of the Music Department building. Mercedes lead them through a side door and down a long hall. The three girls continued after a series of turns down this hall and that and down a flight of stairs. Finally, they came upon a small hall lined with private rooms.

"Rehearsal spaces," Mercedes informed.

She began peaking in several doors on the left side while Quinn took the right. Brittany was standing in the middle shaking with unspoken rage.

"If Santana won't do something about those girls, I'll never forgive her," Brittany whispered, with tears in her eyes.

It didn't matter that she and the Latina weren't technically speaking. It didn't matter that the girl had nearly broken Brittany's heart in high school. Brittany still wanted to think the best of the girl she loved. She hoped Santana could prove that she wasn't as terrible as she seemed to everyone else. Santana wouldn't do this and Brittany would make sure that the Latina punished the girls who did.

In the last door on the right, they all heard loud banging. It didn't sound like drums. It sounded like someone was smashing something. Quinn's stomach sank. Mercedes nodded before knocking on the door.

"It's taken," Rachel's voice rang through.

"Rach, it's me…Quinn and Brittany are here, too. Let us in."

"Go away," was the only reply they got followed by silence.

Brittany sighed, "Please, Rachel. How bad is it?"

No response.

"Rachel? Will you please let us in?" Quinn asked, surprising all three with the hoarseness of her own voice. Somehow a huge lump had grown in her throat.

There was a click as the door unlocked. Mercedes and Quinn share a glance before the hazel-eyed girl opened the door. The first thing she noticed was Rachel's smashed guitar. A chair was knocked over. Rachel was standing with her back to them.

"Let me see," Brittany said softly.

Rachel sucked in a deep breath that shook her shoulder. Just hearing her breathing to keep her sobs at bay was enough to let the tears Quinn had been fighting spring from her eyes and glide down her own cheeks. Quinn crossed the small space to the brunette and before her mind even comprehended what she was doing Quinn wrapped her arms around the other girl and hugged her from behind.

"Quinn, it's ok," Rachel whispered, rubbing her hands over Quinn's arms that were encasing her.

Rachel sighed letting her weight sink into Quinn's body a little and it hit the blonde just how worried she had been, stealing a sob from her lips while she wrapped her arms around Rachel even tighter. Brittany walked in front of them and took Rachel's face in her hands forcing the shorter girl to look at her.

"Oh Rach" Brittany breathed, full of sympathy and yet anger.

"It's not that bad. A couple lucky shots. They just took me off guard," Rachel answered, pulling out of Quinn's embrace.

She finally faced the rest of them and Quinn and Mercedes gasped. Rachel's left eye was nearly swollen shut and already purple. She had a cut on her bottom lip. Quinn took her hands and brought Rachel's bruised knuckles to her lips, kissing them lightly. Rachel inhaled deeply, shutting her eyes. Quinn could feel Mercedes and Brittany's questioning eyes on them, but at that moment the blonde didn't care.

"I got in a couple lucky punches, too. Considering I'd never been in a fight before, I did pretty well," Rachel smiled, nodding to her knuckles.

"Why would they do this?" Quinn growled.

"Why do you think? They were Santana's followers."

"She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't tell them to do that," Brittany defended, her heart breaking a little as she prayed that she was right about the Latina.

"Yeah right. I'll kill her," Mercedes threatened.

"No, don't. It wasn't her. Brittany's right. She won't touch me. Santana would never actually lay a finger on me herself or tell anyone to. It was just her fan club. They're not even cheerleaders. They're a bunch of wannabe cheerleaders who were too fat and too uncoordinated to make the squad. They just want her approval so she'll put them on the B-Squad. She had nothing to do with it."

"Who was it? I want names," Quinn seethed.

"What, you're gonna take on four girls by yourself, Quinn? I appreciate it but it's done. They proved their worth and three of them are gonna have some nice bruises. Normally I don't condone violence but I think I broke the fourth one's nose," Rachel grinned proudly.

"I don't doubt it," Mercedes laughed, shaking her head. "Come on, Slugger. Let's get you back to the dorm."

"Santana found out that one of the girls on her B squad made out with me at that bar when we went out earlier in the year. I should've kept my nose out of it," Rachel muttered.

"The redhead?' Quinn asked, angrily.

Rachel looked a little shocked that Quinn had remembered but nodded.

"I took up for the girl. I screamed at Santana and humiliated myself taking up for some girl who probably isn't even gay. She was just drunk. I can't believe I got in a fight for some girl I don't even know. I waltzed right into the middle of their practice and verbally assaulted Santana. She didn't yell at her. She just calmly told me to leave her practice. I don't know what I was thinking. Why would I do that? Why would I take up for some girl I don't know?"

"Because you're ten zillion times better than that girl will ever be and fifteen zillion times better than Santana's little followers," Brittany answered firmly.

"The other girls were there when I was yelling at Santana. I stormed off and they had their opportunity to try to make a good impression on the captain. I came here to work off my frustration by playing or singing or something. They followed me. I didn't even see it coming. I went to close the door and there they were. Nothing like a sound proof studio to silence my pathetic whimpers. They just had to ruin one of the few places I felt safe here," Rachel sniffed, as her eyes filled with tears.

Quinn was going to kill those stupid bitches. They couldn't just beat Rachel up or jump her or whatever just to show Santana they were worthy of being her followers. No, they had to destroy one of the few places she loved on top of that. They were as good as dead if Quinn ever saw them again.

_AN: oh yeah, angry Quinn. Taking names and kicking some ass...well kind of. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

That night, Puck called. He wanted Quinn to go out with him. Apparently, there was some movie that he'd been dying to see and it was at the Warner Theatre. The Warner was this really awesome movie theatre that was super old. It only had one theatre built on top of a roof but they closed it in. It was painted to look like you're still outside though. The seats were all built into groups of four that are made to look like part of old cars from the 50's. It was like being at a drive-in if you had the drive-in on a rooftop. He sounded so excited Quinn didn't have the heart to tell him that she and Rachel had already been there the week before. Quinn had convinced Rachel to skip class for once and go shopping with her downtown. They had been shopping and goofing off all day and eventually got dinner. Then Rachel suggested the movie when they happened to walk by the place. Quinn pretty sure Rachel was the one who even told Puck about it before that night. Quinn had such a good time hanging with Rachel and having dinner and watching the movie and the thought of doing the same thing with Puck just seemed so…wrong.

"I wish I could, Puck, but I promised Rach that we would have a movie night tonight. Girls night, you know. She had a pretty bad day and I just want to make sure she's alright," Quinn explained.

"How's her face? I heard about it after lunch. Artie filled me in during Bio."

"Black eye. Busted lip. It's not as bad as I originally thought. In fact, her eye looks much better already and her lip isn't bad at all. She's more embarrassed than anything else now. Even though she has no reason to be embarrassed," Quinn said the last part loudly for Rachel.

Rachel rolled her eyes without looking up from her book.

"I talked to Britt. I guess she went out looking for Santana and really let her have it. S had nothing to do with it. She didn't even know those girls went after Rachel but she promised B that they would pay," Puck replied.

"They will pay when I get my hands on them. I don't care if she didn't know it was happening, I hate that girl and I don't like that Brittany talked to her."

"Well B's always had a special place for Santana and vice versa. Santana's a bitch but she'd never intentionally attack Rachel or send anyone to."

"You're just saying that because you dated her," Quinn retorted.

"We didn't date. We just had sex. Besides, I'm trying to tell you not to write Santana off completely. Yeah, she was shitty to Rachel in high school but I was too…and Brittany was. We all sucked. Still Santana only fought cheerleaders and girls who were bigger than her. She'd never lay a hand on Rachel, not back then and not now. Those girls will have to watch their backs from Santana now. Brittany made sure of that. So don't get yourself into any trouble over it," Puck pleaded.

"I didn't realize you were my father. I need to go. Rachel needs me," Quinn snapped.

"I guess I'll let you go play nurse with your patient," Puck teased. "Isn't that like the way slutty version of playing doctor?"

Sometimes hints of Puck came out even when Noah was talking to her. Quinn blushed.

"Only in your dreams, Puck," Quinn laughed it off. "I'll talk to you later."

He said goodbye and hung up.

"How's your lover boy?" Rachel asked, still never looking up from her book.

"He is not my lover boy…and he's fine. Disappointed that I won't go to the movies with him, but he'll live. Apparently someone told him about this awesome little movie theatre downtown that is supposed to be like a rooftop drive-in," Quinn smiled.

"Hmm, sounds like that person is totally awesome, smart, funny, incredibly talented, and probably God's gift to humanity," Rachel grinned, nose crinkling and all.

Quinn melted a little. Wait? Melted? She was swooning over her goofy roommate? Her goofy, gorgeous, FEMALE, roommate? She thought maybe Rachel's run-in with the cheer-bitch wannabes really screwed with her head today. That was it. She had been so concerned about Rachel's well-being that she had somehow interpreted that into misplaced swooning.

"And she's so humble, too," Quinn recovered from her thoughts to play along.

"The humblest."

They both laughed as Rachel finally put her book down.

"What have you been reading?"

"Oh it's nothing…it's…well, see I'm not normally a nerdy book reader or whatever…it's Wicked. We started talking about Broadway in one of my music composition classes and some girl went on and on about the musical, which I am a huge fan of. Then my professor said it was based on this book. I knew that it was based on a book but the musical is so different from the book. Everyone has always said that the book is so dark and twisted compared to the happy and wonderful musical that I so dearly love. But then I decided that maybe I would enjoy the dark tones of the book anyway. So I found it at the library and figured I'd check it out. I think the librarian nearly had a heart attack when I checked out a book that wasn't a play or libretto," Rachel explained, blushing a little at the end.

"Are you blushing?" Quinn teased

"Of course not. It's not like….well put it this way, if any of our friends knew I read science fiction type books, I would never live it down. They all think I'm a big enough nerd as it is with my musical theatre obsession and a vocal love of Shakespeare. If they ever knew I've read all of the Harry Potters and Twilight books and now was into books about witches…at least this one makes a little sense considered I am obsessed with the actual musical, but still. Now you know my big secret. I'm a fantasy novel and science fiction nerd as well," Rachel confessed.

"I think it's great. Who knows, after you've moved from musicals to sci-fi maybe next you'll be reading harlequin romance novels," Quinn giggled.

"Shut up and put in a movie," Rachel laughed.

Somehow over the course of the semester, Rachel and Quinn had actually become good friends. Puck still thought he was Quinn's somewhat boyfriend. Quinn thought he was her good male friend who she hung out with from time to time. He told Mercedes that he thought the two would start dating after Christmas break. He felt there was just no point putting all of that out there right before everyone left for the holidays. Quinn figured deep down he knew they never going to date each other but it was easier to make up excuses than admit that the infamous Puckerman couldn't get the girl he wanted.

Quinn's time had been really divided in recent weeks. She was either having girls' nights with Rachel, Brittany, and occasionally Mercedes and/or Tina, or having "roomie nights" as Rachel has dubbed them where the just the two watched movies, ate popcorn, and end up talking all night, or the blonde was having "date nights" as Puck referred to them where they would go to the boardwalk or go see a movie. Girls' nights were great. They would all go to Ego or Grey. Brittany still offered to take Rachel to Lola's to find the tiny diva a girlfriend but Quinn would jump in telling her to leave Rachel alone and that the brunette would find someone on her own terms. Quinn loved girls' nights. Sometimes the guys would tag along. Tina and Arties were definitely dating by the time Halloween had rolled around. Mercedes claimed she was a free spirit who spent as much time as she pleased with whichever guy she wanted to spend time with that week. Brittany hooked up with a few different people throughout the semester, three guys and one girl. The girl was a short-lived thing. She realized she just wasn't interested in having a relationship with a girl who wasn't Santana.

Things had calmed down with Santana as well after that incident. The girls who had attacked Rachel became targets for Santana's harshest practice drills. She worked them hard and still didn't put them on any squad, ending in their humiliation. She and Finn were still together but Quinn caught the Latina sending longing glances toward Brittany more and more frequently, especially after Santana found out Brittany had gone out with another girl. It seemed like Santana had started appearing wherever they all went. If they were at the bar, Santana was lurking somewhere near by, rarely with Finn but always keeping an eye on their group. Quinn wasn't sure if the Latina had taken it upon herself to act as Rachel's secret bodyguard since the attack or if she was stalking Brittany. She rarely spoke to them but was always watching.

The situation with Puck had gotten way out of hand for Quinn. She kept subtly letting him know she wasn't interested. Mercedes said Quinn would have to be less subtle and more straightforward. Guys don't pick up on the signals as well as girls. Quinn didn't want to lose him as a friend but she really wasn't interested. They still hadn't kissed. They went on those so-called dates but at the end of the night, she would him a hug and they wouldn't kiss. He didn't even try which gave her hope that he knew she wasn't into him after all.

Then there was the next issue. Quinn found that she might be interested in someone else. Roomie nights had been great. She loved spending time with Rachel. Quinn found herself constantly trying to spend all of her time with the other girl. Some days they were nearly inseparable. Then other days, they would spend a lot of time together but it was like they both acknowledged when they needed their space. Which was actually kind of great since they were roommates so knowing when to give each other time apart worked out really well and they rarely fight anymore. Whenever we did fight though it could get pretty intense. They got in a huge argument a few days before. Surprise, surprise, it was about Puck. Rachel thought Quinn was leading him on…or leading someone on. Quinn got confused because Rachel would never finish her sentences. She just rambled on about Quinn flirting and sending all of these mixed signals and how it wasn't fair. But some people might say the same thing about Rachel if they had spent more than two minutes with her when she was in a good mood, Quinn thought at the time of the argument.

They had ended up screaming at each other. By the end of the fight, Quinn had no idea what they were fighting about anymore. She knew she was mad at Rachel and felt like Rachel was always trying to put Quinn into some category and Quinn wasn't sure what that was exactly. Rachel knew she was mad at Quinn though and Quinn had no idea why. It was like it was beyond Puck issues. But there they were squaring off across the room. Quinn was so angry that she could have just…she didn't even know what she wanted to do to Rachel, but the blonde was either going to strangle her or…she didn't know. Rachel had had this look in her eyes that made Quinn want to just jump on her and smother her with a pillow or…well that was really the issue Quinn was having at the moment.

She could admit that Rachel was very attractive…for a girl. Rachel was gorgeous. She was funny. She made Quinn laugh so much. Quinn loved being around her. Rachel was also really smart. Quinn loved that Rachel was secretly a huge sci-fi nerd. They completely bonded one night over their shared secret love of Harry Potter and Twilight. Quinn threatened to kill the other girl if she told anyone…but they had bonded nonetheless.

Plus Rachel was really sweet. She was such a great friend. She'd do anything for all of them, despite having been hurt so deeply before. She was fiercely loyal. She was always there for Quinn when the blonde need her to be, whether it was holding her hair after she'd had drank too much (which has only happened twice since Quinn did it for Rachel that first time) or just listening to Quinn prattle on about her stupid English assignment.

Rachel also drove Quinn insane, more insane than anyone the taller girl had ever known. But lately, whenever Rachel was driving Quinn up the wall, Quinn wanted to…she would notice how dark Rachel's eyes got…and it was hot. There was no denying it. It was very hot…and Quinn couldn't stop looking at Rachel's lips.

Quinn was pretty sure she want to kiss her best friend…and she also pretty sure those weren't the not normal thoughts to have about your best friend if you were a totally, 100% straight girl who was supposed to be interested in Noah Puckerman.

Quinn tried to ignore it. She tried to tell herself that she was just imagining things. It was only normal to be curious. Rachel was a lesbian and it was only natural that Quinn was curious as to what that entails. Not like entails as in what Rachel likes sexually!...except for the part of Quinn that occasionally drifted towards thoughts that might potentially lead to those thoughts if Quinn didn't stop herself from thinking those thoughts.

She was so confused. She couldn't stop from blushing every time Rachel joked about them. _Like they were a couple_. Just that little thought alone sent Quinn's stomach into a mess of butterflies. She'd get tingles when her arm brushed Rachel's. They wouldn't watch movies on separate beds anymore. They were always sitting close together, sharing popcorn on her bed or Rachel's. Sometimes they would fall asleep in the same bed. Quinn would wake up and her arm would be thrown over Rachel's stomach practically spooning and yet Quinn couldn't stop herself from wiggling further into her roommate's body. It was like she craved Rachel's warmth or something.

There was also this fun new jealousy thing Quinn was dealing with. She would get mad when Rachel talked about other girls. Quinn even got upset because Rachel told Tina she looked hot before they all went out the weekend before. It was like Quinn was jealous of Tina! Straight, cute, little Tina who had a boyfriend and no interest in Rachel and who Quinn was sure Rachel had no interest in. Quinn didn't know what was wrong with her!

She loved Rachel's laugh. It seemed like all the blonde did anymore was try to make Rachel laugh or smile just because Quinn loved the thrill it gave her. She was doing all kinds of things she would never have done before. She was wearing outfits she never would've worn to the bar. She would ignore the guys who hit on her. Every girls' night had become another Rachel and Quinn night because she would end up dancing with Rachel the entire night. That was another thing! Their dancing was getting out of hand. At first it was just dancing but then it became grinding and it was…sometimes Quinn would have to go get a drink of water or something much stronger to calm her heart because she was afraid it was gonna race right out of her chest. Rachel would be so close and they would be moving together perfectly and the tiny brunette always smelled so good. Her skin was so smooth. Quinn just needed a break before she really started questioning herself.

She knew she in a little over her head. She couldn't talk to Mercedes about it. The other girl was always talking about Puck like he was the greatest guy ever. Quinn didn't want to disappoint her even though Mercedes knew Quinn wasn't interested in him. She couldn't tell Tina because she might tell Mercedes who might tell Rachel. She certainly couldn't tell Puck even though he had become one of her closest friend. That really only left Quinn with one choice…she'd have to tell Brittany that she didn't know what to do, but Quinn thought she might have feelings for her own roommate….she thought she might like girls…specifically a girl…more specifically, Rachel…and Brittany was the only person Quinn could talk to.

_AN: Yay! Quinn's finally starting to wise up to her feelings. Plus Santana's not all bad. She'll have some more redeeming moments to come. As always, thanks for reading and please review! Thank you, come again!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Hey, Britt. Can we talk?" Quinn asked nervously.

"Sure. What's up?" Brittany smiled, patting a space on her bed next to her.

Quinn sat down. She took a deep breath. She glanced at Brittany and then shook her head. Quinn stood back up quickly. She looked at Brittany again and took another deep breath. Then the shorter blonde began pacing.

"Is everything okay, Q?" Brittany questioned curiously.

"No…I don't know…I think I have a problem."

"Are you pregnant?"

Quinn stopped abruptly, "What?"

Brittany's eyes widened. "Sorry I just said it. You're not, are you? I've always had this weird feeling that you were like super easy to get pregnant. Not super easy to sex with. I don't think you're easy like that at all. I just think if you had sex a lot, you'd probably get pregnant really easily."

"What? Um…wow…ok…well, first…no, I'm not pregnant. Seriously, why would you think I'm like super fertile?" Quinn laughed.

Brittany shrugged as Quinn tried to wrap her head around the strange girl's words.

"So what did you want to talk to me about," Brittany asked, giving Quinn such a sweet and innocent look, Quinn wondered why she hadn't come to Brittany about this a long time ago.

"I think I like someone."

"I know," Brittany grinned.

Quinn stared at her in shock, "you do?"

"Well Tina and I were talking about it the other day. She doesn't know what I know but she knows more than Mercedes. Mercedes said you and Puck would be really cute together. Don't tell her I said this, but I think that's just Mercedes wishing Puck would want her. She's crazy about him but she hasn't realized it yet. Sorry, I know he likes you and everything."

"I don't like Puck like that…and how did you- you really can read people well, can't you, B?" Quinn chuckled, sitting down on the bed beside the other girl again.

"It's easy. When people think you're dumb, they think you're too stupid to hide things from. They drop the act around the stupid girl. I'm too dumb to pick up on the signs anyway," Brittany shrugged.

"So you already knew I wasn't into Puck?"

"Yeah, about three weeks into the semester. Tina just picked up on it."

"Wow," Quinn muttered.

They sat in silence for a moment. Quinn had never realized how much smarter Brittany was than people really gave her credit for. The shorter blonde had always been amazed in the few moments when Brittany showed she actually got much more than people thought. However, Quinn had never been more impressed than she was right at that moment.

"It's okay that you like Rachel. I won't tell anyone," Brittany said softly, placing her hand gently on top of Quinn's.

Quinn's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head.

"Really, it's okay, Q. There's nothing wrong with how you feel."

"Then why won't my head turn off? All I keep hearing is my dad screaming about the gay guys who lived in the next town and how disgraceful they were. Or how upset my mom was when she found out one of the girls on a rival cheerleading squad was a lesbian. All of these bibles verses keep going through my head. I'm not even sure how I really feel about Rachel. I just like spending time with her. Sure, I think she's pretty. And yes, I love making her laugh. But it's so much more complicated than just those things."

"Why? Who said it has to be?" Brittany asked, simply.

"What do you mean? Of course it has to be. The rest of the world says it has to be complicated. If I like Rachel…doesn't that make me…does that mean I'm…" Quinn trailed off.

"Who knows. You could be gay, Quinn. Or you could be bi. I'm bi…or at least I think I am…I like guys but I like girls too…and I've never felt for anyone the way I felt about Santana," Brittany explained.

"But I can't be…that…I can't even say it," Quinn whispered as a few tears slid down her cheeks.

"You know what the great thing is, Q? You don't have to know right now. You don't have to know tomorrow either, or three weeks from now, or even three years from now. It really can be that simple. If you like hanging out with Rachel, hang out with Rachel. If you don't want to date Puck, don't date Puck. It doesn't have to be so hard," Brittany wrapped her arms around the shorter girl.

"Thanks, Britt," Quinn cried as the two hugged for what seemed like hours.

Quinn was sitting on Rachel's bed. It was another roomie night. They had just finished watching Transformers. It was one of Rachel's favorite movies, surprisingly enough. She had secretly loved playing with Transformers when she was little. One of her dads was a total nerd when he was younger so he kept all of his transformers from his college collection and gave them to Rachel as a child. Despite years of dance lessons and singing lessons, Rachel was actually a tomboy at home. She loved playing with her Daddy's transformers. Plus she totally had a thing for Megan Fox in that movie.

They were sitting so close Rachel's right arm was resting on Quinn's left and Rachel's right thigh was right up against Quinn's. There was literally no space between them. Rachel's head was leaning on Quinn's shoulder and she was playing with the blonde's fingers. Quinn's stomach was fluttering out of control and she was sure her palms were sweating so she was glad Rachel was just touching her fingers and not the blonde's whole hand.

"You can't honestly tell me that you think he's attractive," Rachel laughed.

Quinn nodded, not trusting her voice.

"More attractive than her?" Rachel questioned.

Quinn didn't respond too wrapped up in the way Rachel's fingers fit perfectly with her own before dancing over her hand again.

"Quinn, I consider you to be a highly intelligent human being, but you would have to be blind, deaf, and incredibly dumb not to get how appealing Megan Fox is in that movie. I mean, she looks good. She sounds good. She's just…she's good, Quinn. I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, Eunuch, whatever. The girl is a fox. She was named well," Rachel ranted, still playing with Quinn's fingers almost as if they were the strings to Rachel's guitar and she was playing Quinn so well.

"Eunuch?"

"I watched Pirates of the Caribbean the other day. Keira Knightly is very aesthetically pleasing."

"Orlando Bloom?"

"Pansy. He whined too much the entire movie and I found the wetter his long locks got the more tangled they became. He could have used some form of conditioner and perhaps I could look at him differently. I realize I had atrocious fashion sense in high school but I've always maintained excellent hair care."

Quinn laughed and bumped her shoulder against Rachel's playfully, "You do have wonderful hair, Rachel."

"Of course I do. My hair is much better than Orlando Bloom's…even when wet."

"Fine. No Orlando Bloom. What about Johnny Depp? You have to give a little bit when it comes to Johnny Depp," Quinn argued, trying to convince herself as much as Rachel.

"Fine. I'll admit that he's a great actor and he has a very lovely speaking voice…for a guy. Also he wears eyeliner nicely. Before Jack Sparrow, I never really understood the appeal of a man wearing eyeliner…but it's still really all about Keira. You know, I saw that movie in high school and I thought, hmm maybe I'm a little bit gay," Rachel joked.

"Please. She has like no boobs, zero personality, and should've stuck to being a brunette. If anything I'd say she was somewhat attractive in the first movie but she lost me on the other two," Quinn pouted.

Straight girls can argue about those things. No seriously, they can. Quinn has heard them. Tina and Mercedes talk about female celebrities. Apparently you're allowed to have one celebrity girlfriend that you would go gay for and you're still in the 100% straight club…or something like that. At least that's what they had said.

"Oh whatever. You stick to the brunettes and I'll prefer my Keira as a blonde. Need I remind you that I am a brunette so that works nicely for all of your dreams about me," Rachel teased, squeezing Quinn's fingers lightly.

"Shut up. I had one dream that I made the mistake of telling you about. The only reason I think I even had it was because that guy at the Warner asked how long we'd been together."

Another awkward moment for Quinn's insides. The clerk at the Warner thought Rachel and Quinn were a couple since they had gone there together so many times. Plus several times Rachel refused to let Quinn pay if they were seeing a musical that Quinn didn't really want to see but went merely because Rachel had asked her. Quinn swore her heart had jumped right up in her throat that day. She was sure Rachel could hear her heart pounding. Quinn was as red as Ronald McDonald's hair. Rachel had just winked before giving Quinn that nose-crinkling smile. Then Rachel told him that Quinn was straight and it was impolite to make assumptions about one's sexuality. The man had merely laughed and told her to work a little harder on her blonde friend and maybe she'd be singing a different tune. Quinn's jaw dropped while Rachel huffed and made a dramatic storm off into the theatre. The man apologized to Quinn and said it was too easy to get a rise out of Rachel. Quinn nodded absentmindedly before following after her diva.

"Well you should be so lucky, Miss Fabray. I am quite the catch…just like Keira Knightly! And zero personality? The girl is fantastically witty and she can't make a bad movie. I even liked _Love Actually_ which is saying something since I despise Hugh Grant with every fiber of my being," Rachel interrupted Quinn's internal musings.

"I don't hear you arguing with no boobs."

And Quinn had officially recovered once again that night.

"That's because breasts aren't everything. Yes, I am for the most part what one could consider as a breasts kind of girl. However, I find that I'm usually attracted to someone for reasons beyond chest size. Therefore, a witty blonde who just so happens to be gorgeous and intelligent will always capture my attention.

"Which works nicely for your little dream of me," Quinn countered with a grin.

"And see, you're rather flat-chested too," Rachel smirked, ignoring Quinn's remark.

Quinn didn't know if Rachel actually dreamt about her but it would be nice of the diva to return the favor, considering how often she'd been appearing in Quinn's dreams lately. Wait a minute! No boobs?

"Hey, not fair!" Quinn retorted.

"I have been friends with Noah Puckerman for years. Jokes like that have been lying in wait. Besides, you walked right into that one and you know it."

"Whatever."

"Great comeback. You're definitely wittier than Keira."

"This is why I hate watching movies with you."

"Because you don't like losing debates after," Rachel laughed.

"No, because you have to debate everything I say. If I say I liked the movie, you have to argue about why it sucked. If I say I hated it, you have to tell me the good points. If I say Shia Labeouf is hot, you have to explain why Megan Fox is hotter when I never even doubted the magnitude of her hotness to begin with. I thought she was very attractive in the movie. I was just pointing out that Shia looked good since nobody would've expected that from Mr. Even Stevens kid. It was not a comment on the hotness of either star of the film or a debate on sexuality. And now you have me rambling like you!"

"Do lighten up, Quinn. I was merely joking. You don't have to turn everything into a debate," Rachel said innocently, knowing it would get a reaction from Quinn.

She wasn't disappointed.

"Me? I don't- you! You turn it into a debate! I just want to watch a movie with you! You have to argue about everything in this clever little way that really isn't arguing but just aggravates me and you take pleasure in it. You're sick, Rachel Berry. You are a sick little girl."

"You were on the debate team in high school, weren't you? I bet you had to keep it a secret. The head cheerleader was actually captain of the debate team," Rachel teased.

"You're such a jerk."

"And yet you keep coming back for more. It's like you enjoy these little spares as much as I do. I almost believe you've been waiting to have some challenge you like I do and you love it…or there's always my other theory."

"Your other theory? You think I'm going to take the bait and ask what your other theory is. Then you're turn it into another debate somehow," Quinn glared playfully.

"I thought no such thing."

"Yes you did. You want me to ask you what your theory is. Guess what, Rach. I won't ask."

"You don't have to ask, Quinn. I'll tell you anyways. My second theory is that you are a typical straight girl because asshole turns you on," Rachel smirked.

"What! That's so…you're so…" Quinn didn't even know what to say so she just rolled her eyes.

"Another stunning comeback for Miss Knightly Jr."

"Can we just drop it? You're really starting to piss me off."

"Of course, Quinn. I don't want to debate things with you…if you'll admit that Megan Fox was ten zillion times more attractive than Shia whatever-his-name-is," Rachel grinned.

It seemed like Rachel was constantly pointing out which girls were hotter than guys recently. She and Brittany had even started joking that they were going to convert Quinn and Tina to the gay side. Mercedes would get mad and huff around, complaining that they wouldn't try to convert her. Quinn thought was the only reason the two would say such things. Brittany had been the one to start such teasing. It began with a wink to Quinn and a few awkward moments each time but eventually Rachel got in on the game, not knowing that Brittany was trying to give the shorter blonde a push in the right direction after their conversation.

Quinn had taken a huge leap in confiding in Brittany. However, as soon as it was off her chest, she reverted about ten steps. Brittany seemed determined to let Quinn have time alone with Rachel as if that would force the former Cheerio out of her closet. The movie nights had increased and so had the teasing and the joking. It was as if, uknowingly, Rachel was pushing Quinn to admit to her sexuality as well. What had become a joke between all of the girls was actually making Quinn think about it even more. Was she gay? Why did she get butterflies when Rachel and Brittany said they would convert her? Why did she seem to crave these movie nights now? Brittany had said it could be simple…but was it actually that simple? Could she just casually transition into a whole new way of looking at things, of looking at herself?

"You don't have a proper response? Have I won the debate?" Rachel giggled, poking Quinn's arm.

"Fine, Rachel. You win. Megan Fox was ten zillion times hotter. Happy now?"

"I win? Of course I'm happy…but now that I've won you also have to admit that Sophia Bush is God's gift to men, women, children, and the entire human race?"

Quinn had to give Rachel that one. One night they spent hours talking about Sophia Bush being Quinn's female celebrity whom she would go gay for. They went out for girls' night and the topic came up again. Mercedes said it was a toss-up between Gabrielle Union and Rachel McAdams. Tina said hers was Kate Hudson all the way. Quinn said Sophia Bush. Brittany said Sophia was a good choice but she would go with Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, old school Britney Spears, Rihanna, Beyonce, and…well Quinn couldn't remember the rest but eventually Rachel told her to shut up because they already knew Britt was bi so her answer didn't count. Rachel didn't offer up her celebrity crushes but she did say that Sophia had amazing hazel eyes and a wonderfully husky voice. Plus her humanitarian efforts gave her major points in Rachel's book.

"Sophia is a gift from God for all of us," Quinn laughed. "And Angelina Jolie is fiiine."

"Quinn! That's where I draw the line in this game. I do not support homewreckers. You know how I feel about that whole situation."

"I know you're all Team Jen or whatever, but Angelina has sexy lips and beautiful blue eyes. You've gotta give her that, even if she is a homewrecker," Quinn smirked.

"You wanna play that way? I'll play! Paris Hilton has a nice physique."

Quinn gasped, "You did not just say that. That whore broke up my woman's marriage! As Sophia's straight girlfriend, I cannot support the Paris Hilton marriage-wrecking, bad acting, terrible singing, whore machine. I'm disappointed in you and Sophia is as well. Plus, as a singer actress you should be offended by what that celebutante has done to your profession. "

"Well your girl Angelina broke up Jen and Brad's marriage! I don't see how that makes her better than Paris."

"At least Angelina can act," Quinn countered, loving how infuriated the little brunette was becoming.

"Okay fine whatever. As proud winner of the previous debate, I will let this go and be the bigger person. We will agree to disagree. But at least we can both see the major problem here: men are stupid, Quinn. I don't care if you're with Sophia, Jen, or Angelina. The point is nobody in their right mind would be looking elsewhere if you had any of those women. I know I wouldn't. Men are stupid and I think we both have learned something this evening," Rachel got up on her high horse, making Quinn laugh in the process.

"Definitely agreed," Quinn giggled.

If only Rachel knew how much Quinn really agreed.

"See, Quinn, at the heart of it all, we can work through any of our problems like real adults. We can debate but still get along at the end of the night. If all married couples were like us, the divorce rate would go down exponentially," Rachel grinned, resuming her playing of Quinn's fingers, also kick starting the blonde's butterflies again.

"If all married couples were like us, they'd be lesbians considering the fact that you and I are both girls," Quinn blurted out.

The blonde immediately blushed.

"All married couples should be lesbians. More same sex couples wouldn't destroy the world. In fact, my fathers are the happiest couple I've ever known," Rachel replied seriously.

"Definitely happier than my parents," Quinn muttered.

Rachel squeezed Quinn's hand in sympathy.

"Well thanks for another great movie night, Rach."

"I thought you hated watching movies with me," Rachel cocked a perfect eyebrow at Quinn.

"Must you pick up on every little thing I say?"

"Of course. I hang on your every word," Rachel batted her eyelashes playfully.

"What am I going to do with you, Berry?" Quinn couldn't stop from giggling.

"Anything you want. I'm all yours, Quinn."

She was so close. Quinn could feel Rachel's sweet breath on her face. She was too close. Quinn couldn't breathe like that. Quinn didn't realize just how close they'd been all night until that very moment when Rachel was facing her like that and leaning in just a little. Quinn's heart was racing out of control. If Rachel would just lean in a little further then Quinn would lean in and…and Rachel pulled back suddenly, not looking at the blonde.

Quinn blushed and shook the thoughts from her head, "Why do you have to say things like that?"

"Like what?" Rachel asked, becoming serious.

"You know."

"No, I don't actually."

"It's just…sometimes, I can't tell if you're flirting with me or just joking around like Brittany does," Quinn admitted sheepishly.

Quinn wasn't sure if she wanted that to come out right then but she guessed there was no taking that back after she said it.

"Does it really matter? Does it make you uncomfortable if I do flirt?"

"No," Quinn said softly.

"Then why should it matter? It's all just fun, right? I mean, I'm not plotting various nefarious schemes to jump your bones or do unthinkable things to you in your sleep. You don't have to worry about that…besides, I have a rape whistle if you think you need it."

"Oh no. That's, that's not what I meant. Just curious, that's all. But if it's all just for fun, then ya know…no worries," Quinn smiled, despite the clear pain in her eyes.

Ouch. Just for fun. No worries. Of course it's just for fun. What was Quinn thinking? She was straight…or at least everyone else thought she was straight, even if Quinn had no idea what she was anymore. Even if Quinn wasn't straight, it didn't mean she was Rachel's type. Rachel wasn't interested in every lesbian just because they liked girls too. Rachel had never seemed interested in Brittany. So that wouldn't guarantee that there would ever be anything between them just because Quinn may or may not be into girls…so why did Quinn feel like she could cry?

"What's wrong? What's going on in that head of yours, Fabray?" Rachel's question and sincerity in asking cut into Quinn's thoughts.

She looked closely at the brunette before her. Rachel's eyes were full of concern and something else. They were caring. They were honest. This was one of those rare moments, that weren't so rare anymore, when the truth was just waiting to burst forth if Quinn only had the guts. The tension was crackling between them like electricity in a thunderstorm. Quinn could just tell her the truth. All she would have to say was: I think I like girls. I like you, Rachel. I think I'm crazy about you. I think I have some serious feelings for you that completely blindsided me. Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

"Nothing," Quinn squeaked out instead.

And just like that the moment was over.

"See, I knew you just wanted me for my amazing modelesque physique and never for my mind," Rachel laughed, flexing her arms.

Another reason why Rachel was Quinn's best friend. She was really funny when given the chance. Sure she talked way too much and a propensity for using big words…but she was also really genuine and quite funny. The tension was gone in two seconds flat because Rachel could be so ridiculous. Rachel was flexing her muscles and posing on the bed like a body builder.

"You're so full of yourself, Rach."

"Is it my fault if the world thinks I'm amazing?"

"And now you're the world? Can your ego get any bigger?" Quinn joked, glad to be able to breath again.

"Please! I'm highly sought after. I have so much talent it's almost disgusting. Plus have you looked at me? Every morning I wake up, I see myself in the mirror and I thank God that I look this good. Seriously! Have you seen this fine Jewish nose? My great model like stature. Sometimes I say to myself, 'Berry, don't you ever die, you sexy beast'. Don't get me wrong. I work hard to look this good, but my do I look good out on that stage," Rachel grinned, winking at Quinn.

She wasn't wrong about that. She looked great. Quinn couldn't tell her that though. Even though she knew Rachel was only joking. Quinn knew that the brunette was incredibly insecure about her looks. She had no reason to be insecure. She was beautiful in Quinn's eyes. But the brunette always used her sarcasm and quick wit to make Quinn smile, even if she didn't believe she was as beautiful as the blonde thought.

"I was wrong. Your ever expanding ego is unstoppable," Quinn smirked.

"And don't you ever forget it," Rachel stuck her tongue out at her best friend.

Then Rachel gave Quinn her big, nose-crinkling grin making the blonde melt just a little inside. Yeah, Quinn had it bad.

_AN: I busted my ass today trying to finish up with work early so I could go see I Am Number Four...it was a success! Saw the movie! LOVED the movie! I knew I would like it b/c I adore Dianna but had serious doubts about the rest of it since I was obsessed with the book right after it came out...gotta say, the movie did not disappoint! (and Dianna was wonderful). So in honor of I Am Number Four, I came home and was determined to update this story! Another success for my day! It's 2:30 in the morning and I work at 9:30 am so tomorrow may not be as successful, but at least I had today! Hope you all enjoy! Thanks for reading and please review. Reviews are amazing and inspire me to work harder! As always...thank you, come again!_


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: So this one is a long chapter. I've been working like crazy but your reviews always make me so happy and make me want to write like all the time...so I worked in some time to write between my job, the mini Dexter marathon I've been having, and sleeping. I hope you enjoy!_

**Chapter 14**

The semester was really flying by. Thanksgiving break was about to begin and Puck talked them into going out for the big pre-break celebration. Quinn couldn't believe her first semester of college was almost over. It was a week of freedom then dead week and finals week. She couldn't believe Christmas break was a month away. She definitely couldn't believe she'd be on break for four weeks. Four weeks without Mercedes. Four weeks without Tina and Artie. Four weeks without Puck. Four weeks without Brittany. Worst of all, four weeks without Rachel. Brittany assured the other girl that they would still see each other over break. According to her, Ohio wasn't that big and after a few days with their families, they'd all be dying to have a road trip to hang with each other again. She definitely wasn't wrong about that. Quinn was excited to be home with her parents and relax but she knew her mother would drive her crazy within the first week. Her father would preach to her about having good morals and how he hoped she was still behaving like a lady even though she was at some state university instead of an Ivy League. Her sister would be home as well, no doubt bragging about her final semesters at Harvard and how she couldn't wait to be a lawyer and make their father proud. Quinn wanted to throw up just thinking about it.

Ego was incredibly packed, but they couldn't begin their "fall break" without lots of booze and dancing like they were having sex amidst a group of at least a hundred other drunken, horny college kids. Puck was really excited and had been trying to get Quinn to dance all night. She only had two drinks so she definitely wasn't drunk enough to hit that dance floor. Quinn was proud to say Rachel's tolerance for alcohol had somewhat improved over the semester. The brunette could have at least four drinks without being too drunk to function. After four, Quinn or Brittany would usually step in to help monitor Rachel somehow. Quinn said she didn't want to take care of Rachel and clean up her vomit all night, but they all knew Quinn was really just looking out for the tiny girl. Quinn knew it was a little more than that.

Brittany has scored several free shots and was lost in the crowd on the dance floor probably being one of those drunken, horny college kids dancing like they were having sex. Tina and Artie left about an hour before. Something about the crowd being too much for them. It was incredibly loud that night. Puck, Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn gave up trying to shout to each other a long time ago. Puck and Quinn were on one side of the booth while Mercedes and Rachel were on the other. Puck kept resting his arm behind Quinn and occasionally rubbing her shoulder with his thumb. Then he'd smile at her like that was the most fun they'd had in ages.

Quinn was glad they'd stopped attempting to talk over the music and noise of the club. She was running out of things to say. She just wished he would stop trying to touch her so much. The blonde shifted in her seat and crossed her legs the opposite way, bumping Rachel's leg under the table. She turned her attention from the dance floor to Quinn and smirked. Quinn felt her face flush. It seemed to only get worse as Rachel shook her head and chuckled to herself softly. Quinn needed another drink or something. She couldn't take just sitting there any longer. The blonde motioned to the three of them that she was getting a drink. Puck nodded and Rachel actually got up to go with Quinn.

Up at the actual bar, the music wasn't quite as loud and people could actually hear. It was nice for Quinn to finally hear herself think.

"Having fun yet?" Rachel's melodic voice husked.

Rachel's lips hovered dangerously close to Quinn's ear giving the blonde chills up and down her spine. Some guy bumped into Rachel as he tried to weasel back through the crowd, pushing the smaller girl up against Quinn and pinning the blonde effectively between Rachel's body and the bar. Quinn's breath hitched with their new proximity.

Rachel laughed, "I asked you a question, Quinn. You can't tell me that you're not enjoying screaming over the music or sitting in awkward silence. Isn't this just the best night ever?"

Her joking lightened the tension enough that Quinn could speak again, despite how close their bodies still were.

"Oh totally. It's everything I could possibly imagine. No, but seriously, how is this place so packed?"

"I'm pretty sure most of our student body is here," Rachel replied.

Quinn nodded and turned back to the bar to hopefully order a drink.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Rachel asked.

Once again Quinn was aware of how close Rachel's lips were to her ear. The question itself made Quinn flush with the multiple interpretations.

"I mean, we can try Grey or something," Rachel amended quickly.

Quinn nodded, not trusting her voice once again which seemed to be becoming a theme when she was around the magnetic brunette. Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and led her back through the crowd to their table. Quinn's fingers tingled and her heart raced the entire way. Puck gave a double take to their laced fingers when the girls approached him. Rachel immediately let go and Quinn's hand hated the cold it was now experiencing.

"We were thinking about leaving. You wanna come with us? We can grab Britt and hit Grey or somewhere less crowded. It's gonna take like eight years just to get drinks and we can barely hear each other," Rachel explained.

"Yeah I'm down. Let's get Brittany," Mercedes nodded.

After several minutes, they finally able pull the drunken blonde away from her current dance partner who begged for her number only to be denied by a very protective Rachel who gave him a five-minute lecture on the perils of drunken hookups and what it meant to respect a lady. Puck hailed a cab once they were all outside. Quinn shivered from the colder air versus the insane heat from all the bodies inside. Puck noticed and gave her his jacket, smiling like it meant something.

By the time they got to Grey, there was a line of at least twenty people outside waiting to get in.

"Fuck," Puck groaned.

"Where do we go now?" Mercedes asked.

Quinn shrugged in response.

"Let's go to Lola's," Brittany giggled, only slightly slurring her words.

"Lola's?" Puck scoffed at the idea.

"We could try it," Quinn piped in.

"Seriously? You guys do know that Lola's is a gay club, right?" Mercedes laughed.

"So I used to go there all the time," Brittany dissolved in another fit of giggles like Mercedes was the funniest person in the world.

"Yeah but I'm pretty sure the three of them wouldn't be comfortable there," Rachel replied.

"We all love gay people," Brittany rolled her eyes. "I mean really. I love gay people. It will be fun. Guys will tell us we look fabulous. We can dance with them and they won't take advantage of us. They can hit on Puck and we'll laugh. Plus, you can find a hot chick, Rach. Maybe I'll find one too."

"All very good reasons to go," Mercedes chuckled lightly.

"Whatever. I'm not getting hit on by dudes," Puck groaned.

"Quinn can be your date. If you guys act like a couple then neither one of you have to worry," Mercedes wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Puck seemed to like this idea while a huge pit settled in Quinn's stomach. Regardless, they had come to a decision. Brittany gave the taxi driver the address of the group's latest venture while Quinn tried to plan how to make it out of the "date" alive.

As they pulled up to the bar, Quinn noticed that it wasn't that different from the outside of Ego. There was still a bouncer. It wasn't all decked out in rainbows like Quinn had assumed. She was glad she didn't tell Brittany or Rachel that assumption because she'd never hear the end of it. Brittany would think it was hilarious and then pout because of the lack of rainbows. Rachel would go on some tirade about gay stereotypes and how Quinn should know better than that.

Rachel paid the driver as Puck tried to help Brittany out of the cab.

"Do you think it will be crowded?" Puck asked.

"Yeah, but not as bad as Ego was. Lola's is pretty chill. I mean especially since there's no drag show tonight. You guys ready?" Brittany asked, stepping to the front of our group.

Puck shrugged. Mercedes giggled. Quinn and Rachel both swallowed hard.

"What about you Rach? Ready for something totally new and awesome? We're gonna get you laid" Brittany smirked and made her way to the bouncer.

Rachel paled and glanced quickly at Quinn who had momentarily glared at the dancer.

"Well, well, well. I figured you were in rehab or something. I haven't seen you in a while," the bouncer grinned at the tall blonde.

"You didn't hear? I escaped. It was all over the news."

"Nice to see you back, Miss Pierce. And you brought friends?"

"Pete, this is my little sister, Quinn. She just turned twenty one," Brittany winked at the man. He laughed and nodded. "These are my lovely ladies, Mercedes and Rachel, twenty two and twenty one. Rachel, here is a newbie and we're gonna have fun with her. And this is my friend, Puck. He's twenty three and just came out of the closet. So obviously we're celebrating tonight."

Puck gasped and sputtered unable to form words.

"Congratulations, man. Have a great night. Make sure you tell, Brandi. She'll give this man some free shots on the house," Pete laughed.

"Oh I'm telling everyone," Mercedes laughed.

"I hate you," Puck mumbled.

"And who is this lovely lady? This newbie?" Pete asked, wiggling his eyebrows and jerking a thumb toward Rachel.

"This is my best friend, the astoundingly fabulous Rachel Berry. She is a lesbian who has never been to a gay bar. Isn't it exciting!"

"Alright. You all have a good night. Watch that one, B. They're all over fresh meat like a pack of lesbian wolves. It's ladies night tonight," Pete warned looking at Rachel.

The brunette's stomach flipped about eighty times within two seconds. Her palms started sweating and she was pretty sure her heart was thumping in her ears. Fresh meat? Oh dear God.

Quinn on the other hand felt her palms sweat and her heart was thumping in her ears for an entirely different reason. She was furious.

"I've got her, Pete," Brittany laughed, shaking her head.

"Have fun," the bouncer chuckled.

It was pretty crowded but not nearly crowded enough that you couldn't hear. The first noticeable difference was better song selections. Ego was all rap music all the time with the occasional techno remix of some rap song. Lola's seemed to have a mix of everything: rap, techno, pop music, 80's, and even some slow songs. That night was themed like a luau inside. The bartenders put little umbrellas in every drink and the bar was covered with tiki lights and there were a couple of palm trees. So far, it was way better than Ego.

They all followed Brittany to the bar. She squeezed her way right in and people just moved to accommodate her. The bartender turned around and immediately grinned.

"If it isn't my favorite customer. I thought you fell off the face of the earth."

"No way. I got busy. I am a college girl, Brandi. Not all of us can make our living being a hot bartender. I can't make the perfect shots like you," Brittany winked.

The bartender, Brandi, leaned across the bar and kissed Brittany's cheek, "Good to see you're still a charmer."

"Always. Now enough about me, my friend Puck could really use some shots on the house."

"Yeah?"

"It's his birthday," Mercedes grinned, sending Puck a wink.

"Birthday, huh? Well a friend of Brittany's is a friend of mine, especially on his birthday," Brandi chuckled, lining up ten shot glasses and filling them with tequila. "Birthday treatment it is."

They were all surprisingly having a good time. Several girls tried to catch Rachel's attention but the brunette seemed oblivious. She and Quinn kept giggling with Mercedes as two boys tried to hit on Puck. It turned out one of the two guys, Blaine, was from Rachel's acting class. The other boy was his boyfriend, Kurt. Kurt was actually really good friends with Mercedes because he shared a music theory class with her and Rachel. Mercedes had texted them telling them all about Puck. The Mohawked boy was angry at first but quickly ended up laughing with the rest of them about the joke. Brittany was bouncing around like a drunken ball of energy and trying to get Quinn to dance with her. The taller blonde tugged her companion to the dance floor.

"I don't know, B. I don't think I'm drunk enough for this," Quinn giggled.

"Just dance, Q. Tonight we're all having fun!" Brittany squealed as the two began dancing together.

Rachel smiled at the duo from her seat between Kurt and Blaine. Quinn grinned back just before Rachel winked. Quinn laughed and then let loose. She wanted to have fun. Brittany was right. They should all have fun. Quinn got lost in the music while she and Brittany improved a mini dance routine.

"So Quinn? Girlfriend or soon to be girlfriend?" Kurt questioned.

Rachel's eye widened as she shook her head.

"No. Quinn's my roommate. She's not…we're not…no."

"Sure," Kurt laughed. "If you say so."

Luckily, Mercedes' booming laugh interrupted the conversation from going any further. Apparently Puck was the funniest man alive or something. Blaine was chuckling lightly while they joked about football. Blaine and Puck had struck up an unlikely friendship over the past half hour. Blaine was a huge Giants fan being originally from New York and Puck being a huge Bengals fan had been trying to convert him.

"Why don't you just get the hell away from us?"

All eyes at their table snapped to the dance floor the second they heard Quinn shout over the music.

"Oh no," Puck muttered.

Quinn was standing defensively between Brittany and Santana. The former Cheerio has her hands on her hips in full head cheerleader bitch mode. Santana glared at the shorter blonde, almost ready to attack. Quinn straightened up a little still keeping herself between the two as if to protect the blonde dancer.

"This is between me and B," Santana replied shortly.

Rachel was up and out of her seat in seconds.

"Santana, what are you doing here?" the tiny diva demanded.

"I just came to talk to Brittany but her little girlfriend over here won't let me," the Latina snapped.

"Okay, first off, I'm not Brittany's girlfriend," Quinn glared. "And second, you need to back off. Brittany doesn't want to talk to you. You screwed that up."

"Do I know you? Why the hell are you involved in this?" Santana growled.

"Please, S," Brittany nearly begged.

"Where's Finn?" Rachel asked, stepping next to Quinn to put herself between Brittany and Santana as well.

"Screw you, hobbit. I'm not the boy's keeper. B…" Santana trailed off, staring at the blonde looking a cross between guilty and hurt.

"Just go," Brittany replied.

Santana took a deep breath and nodded. She glared at Rachel who cowered slightly. Quinn bristled stepping forward protectively. The Latina jerked her fist toward Quinn who flinched.

"Still got it," Santana smirked and turned on her heel.

Quinn lurched forward to attack but Rachel stuck her arm out in front of the blonde. Quinn deflated at the brush of the brunette's arm against her torso. Santana strode away confidently but turned at the door and glanced at Brittany one last time. The Latina looked so remorseful right before she threw open the door and took off into the night.

Quinn and Rachel turned to Brittany to get her reaction.

"Don't. Let's just forget it. Tonight is supposed to be fun," Brittany smiled, shrugging it off.

An hour later, Quinn was drunk. The appearance of Santana had put a slight damper on everyone's mood for about fifteen minutes before Brittany ordered more shots and forced Quinn to dance with her again. Puck had promptly made his way to the dance floor to claim Quinn as his date after the two blondes had caught the attention of several women. Brittany moved on to a different dance partner while Kurt and Blaine had pulled a squealing Mercedes and protesting Rachel to the dance floor as well. Kurt was apparently the sassy gay best friend Mercedes had always dreamed of having while Blaine was slightly calmer but still managed to get Rachel to unwind. It also didn't hurt that Rachel was well past her four drink minimum. She separated from the group with a giggle claiming to get some water. After sipping on the water for a moment, Quinn had joined her at the bar. The blonde ordered water as well but quickly decided they were in need of tequila shots to go with their waters.

"Okay, lick, drink, suck. Or is it drink, lick, suck?" Rachel asked, slurring slightly.

"I think it's lick, suck, drink," Quinn answer.

Quinn had no idea anymore. She was tingly all over. She didn't care how they took the stupid shot. She was just glad she was with Rachel. Puck had started to approach but with a drunken wink from Rachel, Blaine had stepped in again and saved Quinn with another Giants/Bengals discussion.

"I don't think that's right either," Rachel laughed.

A sudden blur and Rachel was pinned against the bar with a redhead all over her. They were kissing fiercely and Quinn was torn between vomiting and beating the shit out of this strange blur of red hair. Rachel finally pushed her away.

"What the hell?" Rachel sputtered, gasping for breath.

"Baby, I've missed you. Where have you been?" the red head purred.

Quinn glared at her, feeling her body heat up with a suppressed rage.

"Wait a minute. What are you talking about? Do I know you?"

"What do you mean, Baby? I'm Marissa? That ringing any bells? We made out at the beginning of school. Where have you been? I've been lonely, Rachie," this Marissa girl rubbed her hands all over Rachel.

Quinn didn't like it. Rachie? Seriously, who did that girl think she was?

"Whoa. I mean I barely even remember that night. Wait, you were on the cheerleading squad. I got beat up because of you! I took up for you with Santana and got attacked. Where were you then?" Rachel growled, grabbing the girl's roaming hands and pushing her away.

Finally the stupid bitch noticed Quinn as Rachel tried to catch the blonde's eyes with her apologetic ones.

"Who are you?" Marissa asked.

"Quinn Fabray. Who are you?"

"Marissa Moore."

"Good for you."

Rachel fought back a grin as Quinn crossed her arms impatiently.

"Well it was lovely to see you again…Marissa? Maybe I'll see you around. Quinn, we have a shot waiting," Rachel practically sang, barely concealing her amusement.

Why was she so amused? Quinn's stupid, amused, sexy roommate. God, Quinn wanted to punch her smug face. Making out with that girl in front of her and now Rachel was amused? Quinn could just…her lips were all puffy from that quick kissing session. Rachel looked good.

"Is this the reason you've been gone? Your new slut?" Marissa asked.

Quinn turned her attention back to the redhead ready to defend herself just as Rachel's hand flew out and smacked the girl hard. Marissa recoiled and grabbed her cheek. Brittany had turned to the group as the sound of the slap. The girl's dancer partner kept grinding on her while Brittany shoved the other girl off, watching her friends to see if she needed to step in.

"So what is this like your girlfriend or something?" Marissa asked, fighting back tears. "What was I?"

"The old slut," Quinn answered, before she could stop herself.

Rachel looked almost as shocked as Quinn felt. Neither could believe Quinn said that. Oh and Marissa looked pissed.

"You little bitch," Marissa seethed.

"Back off," Brittany stepped between the girls and got in Marissa's face.

"So that's how it is?"

"Yeah. That's how it is," Quinn confirmed.

Don't ask her why but she was going for it anyway. Quinn pulled Rachel around to face her. Tangled one hand in her hair like Quinn had so often thought about doing and before she could back out, Quinn pushed Rachel's face toward her own. Quinn's lips landed on hers and she was officially screwed from that moment on. Quinn Fabray was kissing her roommate with every ounce of passion the blonde had in her.

Rachel was shocked at first but quickly recovered. She began responding and Quinn couldn't believe what was happening. Rachel's lips attacked the blonde's with a renewed passion. Her tongue traced Quinn's lips and the blonde gasped as she let her in. Quinn could taste the tequila shots they both had all night as well as her rum and coke. There was also another taste that was distinctly Rachel and Quinn knew as long as she lived she would never forget how amazing Rachel Berry tasted…or how well her tongue danced with Quinn's…or how tightly Rachel held the taller girl to her as she kissed Quinn better than anyone had ever kissed the former cheerleader in her life.

Rachel pulled away, leaving Quinn in a daze. She had just made out with Rachel. Quinn just REALLY made out with Rachel…and it was…wow.

Quinn looked to her left and noticed that Marissa was gone. Brittany was squealing and jumping up and down doing a drunken happy dance. Mercedes was cracking up, laughing hysterically with a bewildered Kurt next to her. Blaine looked smug and grinned at the two. Puck, however, was standing there with one of the most painful expressions Quinn had ever seen. He looked so hurt and so disappointed. Quinn looked at Rachel. The singer was practically panting trying to catch her breath and she wouldn't look at her roommate.

"Rach," Quinn barely squeaked out.

Rachel grabbed her shot and slammed it back, swallowing it with no salt and no lime.

"Puck," Quinn tried, looking at the broken boy before her.

Rachel exhaled loudly, not quite a scoff, not quite a sigh, and not exactly a snort. Something that was a combination of all three. She refused to look at Quinn as she stepped between the blonde and Puck. Without a word, Rachel left. She left all of them. She left the bar. She left the entire club. She just walked away.

Quinn's heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to fight them. She barely caught what Mercedes was saying. Something, something, and something else that might as well have been said by the teacher from The Peanuts….followed by-

"-and get Puck. I'll get a cab," Mercedes finished.

Quinn nodded in response. Kurt and Blaine had hugged her but she barely felt it. It was like Quinn was outside of her own body just watching all of their friends say their goodbyes and grabbing their coats and purses. The drive home in the cab was completely silent. Puck looked pissed. Mercedes looked a little confused. Brittany had her arms wrapped around Quinn who looked heartbroken and couldn't stop shaking.

"So I'll see you around," Puck mumbled outside of the girls' dorm.

Mercedes nodded. Brittany muttered a quick bye. The incident in the bar as well as the fresh air seemed to have sobered Quinn up greatly. Her head was only slightly fuzzy but she didn't want to attempt to process what happened until at least the next day. Brittany, Quinn, and Mercedes found the elevator without saying a word to each other. Once safely inside it, Mercedes cleared her throat. Quinn avoided looking at her. It dinged as they passed the second floor and Mercedes spoke up.

"Do you want to explain what happened tonight?"

"I'm sure you'll hear all about it from Puck. How I'm a terrible person and I'm a heartless bitch. Or maybe you'll hear it from Rachel. Brittany can explain," Quinn's voice shook and a few tears finally slipped out.

"Q, what happened?" Mercedes asked, sorrowfully.

"I'm an idiot, that's what," Quinn sighed as the elevator dinged again and opened on her floor. "I'll just see you tomorrow."

The door closed just as Brittany gave her a tiny wave and a sympathetic smile. When Quinn got to her room, she was surprised to find the door unlocked. The lights were off as she stepped in. She climbed into her bed without changing her clothes or saying a word. There was a light on in the bathroom. She could hear Rachel speaking quickly in a low voice. Quinn couldn't make out what the other girl was saying.

"I'm sorry. I swear I didn't plan this," Rachel's voice rang out a little clearer. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Noah. I'm so sorry."

Quinn tried to wipe away the tears that had started slipping down her cheeks just as Rachel opened the bathroom door. The stream of light fell right on Quinn's face. Rachel barely acknowledged her before turning off the light and crawling into her bed. Quinn couldn't fight the tears anymore. Rachel hated her. Quinn screwed everything up. Just because Rachel was a lesbian didn't mean she wanted Quinn. What had Quinn been thinking? She sniffed loudly in their far too silent room.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," Rachel said softly.

"It's my fault," Quinn croaked, her voice wavering.

She was afraid a sob would come out any minute.

"No, it's my fault. I got you drunk and I took advantage of you. I used you to get that Marissa girl off my back. I'm sorry."

"Rachel, I kissed you."

She didn't reply. Maybe she really did hate Quinn now. Another moment of silence passed.

"I kissed you back," Rachel whispered into the darkness of their room.

"I've never kissed a girl before," Quinn blurted out.

No response only an extended silence. Quinn held her breath trying to see if Rachel was still even breathing. Maybe somehow Quinn had killed her because she kissed her. That made no sense, but Quinn was panicking. Then suddenly Rachel started laughing. Why was she laughing? Before Quinn knew it, she was laughing, too. Why were they laughing? Then they were both laughing so hard their sides might bust. Eventually, Quinn caught her breath and Rachel calmed down.

"You know, Quinn, you might just be the best friend I'll ever have," Rachel sighed contently.

"Really?"

"Yeah…especially, since Puck's gonna hate me for like three weeks. He and Brittany are the only ones even close to giving you a run for your money," Rachel tried to joke even though Quinn knew the singer was worried about him.

"He'll get over it, Rach…and for what it's worth, you're my best friend, too."

"Thanks," Rachel replied sounding almost relieved.

Quinn was almost asleep when she heard Rachel say something.

"What did you say?"

Rachel giggled a little, "I said if that's the first time you ever kissed a girl, you were pretty amazing."

"Really?"

"Yeah," the sincerity in Rachel's response literally stole the breath right out of the blonde.

"Thanks. You were….you're just…" Quinn couldn't find the words.

"What?" Rachel laughed.

"You're an incredible kisser…like probably the best," tumbled out of the blonde's mouth without any censor.

Quinn blushed at her own bluntness.

"Well I have had a little practice before. It's not like you were my first kiss ever…besides, kissing is all about the right balance. Guys just don't get that," Rachel replied, Quinn could actually hear the smile in her voice.

"They really don't," Quinn laughed.

They both shared another little burst of giggles before saying good night. As Quinn rolled over, she couldn't help feeling relieved and yet completely excited. She had kissed Rachel. She had kissed Rachel and it was amazing. Not only that, but they were still cool. Rachel didn't hate her. Things weren't awkward. And Quinn had the best kiss of her life that night. Quinn knew she was ready for whatever was next. She was ready to try that whole Lola's experience again. She was finally ready to be the real Quinn Fabray…whoever that may be.

_AN: Let's the trumpets blast in triumphant song! Rachel and Quinn have kissed! Sure it was a drunken jealously fueled kiss...but still a kiss is a kiss. Can they easily ignore whatever feelings they have for each other after they've kissed? Interesting! I hope you all like this chapter! I'll try to update again soon! Your reviews are like chocolates for me. They make me all giddy inside...but on the positive side: reviews won't make me fat like chocolates would. So thank you for your consideration in reviewing instead of chocolates. I have no idea what I'm rambling about at this point. I'm just excited to have finished this chapter and I really hope you like it! Thanks for reading and sticking with me this far. We still have a long way to go before this story ends! As always please review and thank you! Come again!_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The next morning didn't go as smoothly as the end of the previous night. Breakfast was awkward while Rachel remained completely silent. She wouldn't look at any of their friends. Puck wasn't even there so the brunette kept checking the door to see if he would suddenly decide to show up. She poked her fruit around on her plate without actually ingesting it, then she checked the stupid door again. Mercedes was yammering on and on about some guy that Kurt wanted to hook her up with. Apparently Kurt had gone to high school with this really hot guy who would totally be Mercedes' type or something. Quinn didn't really know or care what they were talking about. She couldn't concentrate. Not when Rachel was pouting and obviously ignoring everything that had happened between them.

"Q, are you alright?" Tina asked.

"Hmm? Yeah. Good. My eggs are gross," Quinn mumbled.

Rachel looked at the blonde for the first time. Their eyes met and Quinn blushed. Rachel merely turned back to the door.

"Q?" Mercedes asked.

"Sorry. What?"

"When are you going home?" she asked again.

"Oh um…Saturday. I'm gonna stay Friday night and then my parents are coming Saturday morning. Sam has practice Friday so we're both sticking around. I guess my parents offered to drive him home, which will be fun considering how I've avoided him all semester."

Everyone else got absorbed in their own conversations again. Tina and Artie were saying something about his cousin and a new job. Mercedes and Brittany were discussing the dancer's desire for a pet bird. Quinn finally picked up her tray and walked to the trash can. Rachel had taken off before Quinn got back to the table. As Brittany and Quinn made their way back to the dorms after breakfast they spotted Puck in the middle of the quad with Rachel.

"She's straight, Rachel. She's straight and I like her. I actually like her. Please don't make this complicated for all of us. I really don't want to see you getting hurt in this."

"I know that. I'm not going to get hurt. Nobody's getting hurt. I don't know why it happened," Rachel growled in a low voice.

"I can't believe I'm the one who has to point this out to you," Puck groaned.

Rachel looked at him expectantly. Brittany tried to catch their attention to let them know we were both standing there.

"You flirt, Rachel. You play her hot and cold all the time. Don't think I haven't noticed that you flirt with her. And she was really wasted. What did you expect to happen? You send mixed signals to everyone then pretend like you have no idea why people fall all over themselves for you. You weren't popular in high school but you still dated two of the most popular guys. You think that was an accident? You do that to people. You make people fall for you somehow. You're trying to do it to Quinn," Puck snapped.

"Mixed signals? I don't know- what are you…is this about me and her? Or is this about you and me? Yes, things were complicated between us but I'm gay. I don't know what you want from me."

Brittany gasped very audibly.

"Yeah you're gay, Rach. I'm pretty sure I got the memo around the same time you started preferring vagina and cheating on my boy, Finn. Does it even matter to you that my best friend, the closet person I've ever had to a brother, won't even speak to me anymore? I chose you. Now you're messing with the girl I like."

"So you think this is my fault? I didn't ask you to be my friend, Noah. I didn't ask you to give up your precious popularity and the 'oh so wonderful Finn' for me. I was just fine when you were throwing slushies in my face in high school," Rachel argued.

"Yeah you were really fine when we all thought you might kill yourself at graduation," Puck retorted. "I was supposed to be the big man on campus. I'm a football player. I play college football! I'm supposed to be getting so much ass. Not hanging out with a lesbian and her weird theatre/music friends all the time, chasing after some Queen of Chastity."

"Then why don't you go screw one of Santana's girls? Hey, I bet you could even screw Santana again. She's easy."

"This isn't about Santana, or Finn, or any of that and you know it. Quit trying to distract me with thinking about sex!"

"You were the one who brought Finn into this."

"Whatever! It's not about Finn or any of that. This is about Quinn," Puck rolled his eyes.

The blonde in question took a few steps back as he turned abruptly and saw the other girls.

"Q," Puck squeaked out.

If the situation weren't so awkward, Quinn would've laughed at his squeaking.

"Puck, I'm sorry," Quinn apologize without any idea why she was doing it.

"It's fine. It's not _your_ fault."

"Apparently it's mine," Rachel interjected dryly.

"Fuck you, Rachel," Puck rounded on her.

She visibly flinched and then recovered just as quickly, "You did senior year and it turned me gay, remember? The lesbian community would like to thank you for your contribution, Noah."

"Holy shit. She went there," Brittany muttered in shock.

"Thanks, Rach. We're done here," Puck hissed.

"Good. It's about time, wouldn't you say? It's been several months so I'm surprised you stayed around this long before ditching me again. You know, I kind of feel bad for Quinn. She's just another innocent bystander in the saga that is Puck and Rachel, but we were never anything, Noah. We pretended to be friends in high school. And one time we got drunk and had sex because I wasn't sure if I was ready to be who I am. Maybe that's the reason why you ditched me senior year. I guess we were never really friends though. All complicated matters aside. I was just some girl your mom forced you to hang out with. Then just some girl who dated your best friend. You don't have to choose me anymore. Now you can go hang out with Finn and your popular friends. You can date Quinn and have everything you've ever wanted. My sincerest congratulations to you, Mr. Puckerman."

There was recognition of some truth in Rachel's speech that washed over Quinn very quickly. It was all so obvious. Of course, Rachel and Puck had hooked up in high school. She had been afraid to admit that she was actually gay. Santana had forced her out of the closet to the entire school. Finn had dumped her and hooked up with her best friend. Puck had gone back to being her secret friend when her popularity disappeared. He was the only friend she had left until they had gotten drunk and slept together around Christmas. She was the first girl he ever slept with that he actually had any semblance of feelings for. He thought she used him so he stopped speaking to her even in private. So she was left with no one until right graduation when they finally became friends again. Now Quinn was using him too. This was so messed up. No wonder why he was clinging on to Quinn so hard. Being used twice? That's not something any guy wants to deal with. Quinn was going to have to deal with this sooner rather than later.

"Maybe I will. Maybe it's time I started hanging out with my real friends instead of faking it with a loser like you," Puck retorted angrily.

"Yes, I would have to agree. No sense in prolonging the inevitable. Tigers can't hide their stripes and all of that talk. My only request is that you don't hurt my roommate in the process. She's a very nice girl and I'd hate to see you trample her feelings in your quest for popularity and regaining the old Puck. If you find yourself straying to a more high profile cheerleader or something, please have the decency to end things first," Rachel stated calmly, detached almost business like.

Somehow the little diva still managed to pull out the big guns. Mocking his feelings for Quinn and the person he had been in high school all in the same go. For somehow who had been in very few altercations, she sure knew how to win a verbal sparing match. There was a tiny streak of determination inside her that refused to lose. She would come out on top of everything. She would be a star. She would defeat any competition. She would win any fight that presented itself, even with someone she deeply cared for. That determination was a double-edged sword inside Rachel Berry.

"I happen have real feelings for Quinn but you have no idea what that's like. You don't know how to care about anyone but yourself. You have no idea what it's like to care for someone because everyone hated you in high school. Poor Rachel. The little, rich girl who grew up with nobody because her daddies were too busy to care so they stuck her in some ballet classes and singing lessons instead. Who gives a fuck? You're screwed up because you want to be screwed up. High school sucked. Get over it. I could give a shit about popularity and whatever now. Oh and for the record, you used me, remember? I tried to be your friend and you used me to test your sexuality. I didn't ditch you. You used me. Not the other way around," Puck ranted right in her face.

Quinn attempted to step in. How dare he talk to Rachel like that! Maybe Rachel was wrong in high school. Maybe Puck hadn't completely ditched her. Maybe he had been hurt. That didn't justify what he was saying to her. Quinn was furious. Sure Rachel could hold her own but couldn't Puck see that she was lashing out from hurt not sincerity? Rachel could be vicious, it's true. She had a scary intensity sometimes from years of pain. She even sent her competition to a crack house in high school…granted it was an inactive crack house. But still, she had done it. She was very remorseful when retelling the story to Quinn. But the blonde knew that Rachel had a fierce determination to win at all costs. Didn't Puck know that? Wasn't he just feeding the beast inside a very insecure and very hurt little girl?

"No, they need to do this," Brittany said quietly, tugging gently on Quinn's arm.

The other girl looked torn between letting Rachel and Puck get their issues out and finally deal with them or stepping in and protecting the girl she obviously cared about. Brittany pleaded with the shorter blonde with her eyes. Quinn silently begged for Brittany to let her jump in and defend Rachel.

"I was terrified of being gay!" Rachel countered. "I didn't want to be attracted to girls. I wished I had loved Finn. I wished that I could have fallen in love with you! I tried! I didn't mean to use you. I didn't mean to make you feel that I had. I just wanted to be normal!"

"God, sometimes you are the most selfish, self-absorbed person I've ever known, but I was your friend, Rachel. I was your friend. That was me, remember? I mean who else could stand you in high school. But I was there and I was your friend. You know, you're not as great and as you'd like to think you are. Sure, you're talented but you suck with relationships. Why do you think you've never actually had one that meant something? You're scared to let people care about you. You won't let any of us in. You think we'll all just sit around thinking about ways to get you to trust us? The world doesn't revolve around Rachel Berry. I have other things to do then constantly worry about your shit. I can't do it anymore. I can't fight to be your friend. I can't force you to let people get to know you past your weird Broadway obsession and big words. I can't make people like you. I tried. For like three years now I've tried. I'm done. Now you get to deal with your crazy by yourself. You chased away your first real friend. But guess what, you're not my problem anymore."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Noah. I didn't realize my friendship was such a burden on you."

"Now we had a friendship? After it's over? Weren't you the one who just said we were never really friends?" Puck asked, looking like she had physically kicked the shit out of him as well as verbally.

"I guess I did…it just sucks being right."

Her response was so soft and her voice so broken. Tears were in her eyes. Puck softened slightly then shook his head and took off.

"Rachel," Brittany cooed gently.

"Let it go, Brit. I know I went way too far. He's done nothing but try to be a good friend to me for months now. I threw it all in his face. I practically called him a whore and liar. He never really ditched me. I hurt him. I know that. It still felt like ditching though. I guess it's a sensitive subject between us…I just, I didn't know it was that hard for everyone else to be around me," Rachel could barely control her quivering voice as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"No, Rach. We love being around you," Quinn jumped in quickly.

"You're one the best friends I've ever had," Brittany smiled.

"Thanks, Britt."

"I think you just hit home, Rachel. A part of him has probably felt like he ditched you and he's felt bad about it. He loves you, Rachel. You love him. Deep down you know you're wrong about all of that. You guys are friends. You guys are best friends. You two will get past this," Quinn promised.

"I don't know if we will. What if he's actually realized it's not worth it? I'm not worth it. I don't know how to have relationships. I'm way too intense sometimes and I do drive people away. He's right about that. I was trying. I thought I could have real friends in college. It's just, I lash out. I don't think. I just have to win. I get so competitive sometimes," Rachel explained, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I know, Rach."

"But I always end up losing. He's right. Everything he said about me is true, even the stuff about my parents. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll probably just end up shutting both of you out, too. I'll hurt you both."

Rachel sat on the edge of the large fountain. The two blondes watched as she skimmed her hand through the water.

"That's not true," came a voice from behind them.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel cried, flinging herself at the dark haired boy.

It was the first time anyone of them had actually seen Puck cry. Rachel nearly collapsed into him. It broke Quinn's heart to hear her sobs. She wanted to comfort Rachel but Puck was doing it instead. He wrapped her in his arms tightly, apologizing over and over. Eventually they both calmed down.

"Are we okay? I should have never brought all of the high school drama into our fight. We're both different people this year. I know I hurt you and yes, you hurt me, but we moved past all of that. We became really great friends. We are friends. Are we going to be okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. Of course. You're a hot Jew. I'm a hot Jew. We're cool…as long as Quinn will still go to the movies with me. I thought for about two seconds there that she was gonna step in and kill me," Puck laughed, joking.

"Well I make no promises about the killing but I could see a movie," Quinn somehow forced out in a light manner.

She was exhausted. She couldn't begin to image how Rachel or Puck felt. It was whirlwind that came out of nowhere…but I guess it wasn't quite out of nowhere. It had to happen sooner or later. And speaking of things that had to happen sooner or later, she was really going to have to talk to Puck about where their own relationship was heading…or wasn't heading.

"I'm going back to my room as long as the drama is over," Brittany giggled.

"It's okay, Brittany. It's over. I think all of the drama is over," Rachel sighed, looking at Quinn.

Their eyes met again and Rachel looked almost sad. Quinn was probably reading way too much into it though. It had been a hard day for the singer…except why did it feel like a goodbye? Sure, she and Rachel had kissed but it hadn't really changed their relationship that much. It wasn't as though there was some underlying thing going on between them. It wasn't as if Rachel actually had anything she could end between them, right? Things were fine. Rachel and Puck were fine. Puck and Quinn…well they would be fine, they just really needed to talk. Rachel and Quinn were fine. As long as she could ignore the pit in her stomach.

_AN: So I upped the rating from T to M. I realized that with the dropping of 'f bomb' and Puck starting to act more like Puck again instead of Noah all the time, the language might get a little bit more "coarse" than what is acceptable for a T rating...also as the story progresses I can't guarantee that some themes won't get a little more "adult" if you will. Not saying that there's a huge steamy sex scene like two chapters away or anything (for one I've never written a sex scene) but I don't want to limit myself. If I get struck with creativity more towards that angle I feel like this is the type of story where it's almost expected. If you're figuring out your sexuality eventually sexuality and kinda sexual situations will be involved...that's just life. So under all of that rambling, I hope nobody is disappointed or I've scared away viewers but upping the rating. I'm hoping most of you will be happy with my decision ;)_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Quinn and Rachel hadn't really spoken when the brunette left that Saturday morning. It wasn't necessarily awkward. Quinn had just woken up when Rachel had announced that her ride was already downstairs. Her fathers couldn't get away from work so Mrs. Puckerman was taking her and Puck back to Lima. Quinn had mumbled a quick goodbye just as Rachel left. They didn't have time to be awkward. It was just a quick goodbye and that was it. Quinn was actually a little hurt at being brushed off so easily.

She didn't have time to linger on her feelings for long. Her parents called and said they had arrived minutes after Rachel left. Quinn threw her things together as fast as possible and the dorm without much time to even process that she was leaving her home of the past three months to return to her childhood home. She knew she was very different from the last time she had set foot in the Fabray household. She just hoped she wasn't different enough that her parents would notice and question her about it. She just had to survive one week and then she could work through all of this.

Rachel called that night and conversation flowed easily enough to put Quinn's mind at ease. They were still friends. Still, Quinn knew things were different between them. Whether they addressed it or not, things were changing. She needed to talk to Brittany again. She was worried that being in her parents' house would undo everything she had discovered about herself that semester. However, as soon as she heard Rachel's voice on the phone, she knew there was no going back. Sure, she would have to play it safe during the week home. And yes, she had a lot of things to take care once she would get back to school. She needed to talk to Puck. She needed to figure out exactly what was going on between her and her roommate. And even after all of that, she would have to return home again for Christmas and play it safe yet again. Despite all the stress and worry, she knew deep down it would all be worth it in the end. She just had a lot to work through to get to her happy ending.

Thanksgiving break ended up being way too long to be away from her friends. Quinn didn't know how she would survive the real break. Yet, Thanksgiving was also way too short to be away from school. She and Rachel had talked every night before she would go to sleep. It never failed to put a smile on her face to talk to her roommate just before going to bed. The week away from school finally ended and that following Sunday, the Fabrays dropped their precious daughter off in front of her dorm with a suitcase and a renewed determination to put a name to all the feelings she had been having. No more hiding. Quinn was going to give it a real shot. It was time to accept who she was.

Dead week was a bust. None of the teachers were giving out new assignments just study guides for the finals the next week. It had been completely uneventful, just like Quinn's Thanksgiving. She was ready for finals week and ready to be done with classes but she wasn't ready to be stuck with her parents for four weeks, not after just surviving that Hell the past week.

It was only Tuesday and Puck had talked her into that movie date she had promised. She swore to herself she wouldn't think about Rachel. She'd spend time with Puck and give him a real chance and if by the end of the night she still felt nothing. She would have to have a serious conversation with him. It was long overdue anyway but she at least owed it to him to give him a real shot before she completely wrote him off. Or maybe that's just what she was telling herself since the other option, being gay and possibly obsessed with her roommate, was a little scarier.

Quinn did pretty well, overall. She only thought about Rachel like seven times throughout the movie. She tried so hard to focus on Puck, to really hear what he was saying. She wanted to see if she could see it at all, see how he had misconstrued their relationship into some great love affair…but she couldn't. So after about fifteen minutes, she figured he had his shot and that made it official. No more beating around the bush, so to speak.

She wanted to just tell Puck the truth. She had feelings for Rachel, she may or may not be gay, and she wasn't interested in him. But how you could politely tell someone that they'd be used as a temporary gay beard for a second time?

During the movie, though, Quinn started wondering if her newfound attraction to women was really all that new. She also started wondering if it was just Rachel was attracted to or if it wasn't a new thing for her and it wasn't just a Rachel thing. Was she bisexual like Brittany? Completely homosexual like Rachel or Kurt? Or just a Rachel-sexual? It would've been nice to talk to someone about all of that but the last time she talked to Brittany over break the blonde had told her to suck it up and just ask Rachel out. So Brittany as a confidant was slowly fading. The dancer only had so much patience and so much wisdom to provide. That meant the only person who could really help her sort everything out would also be the most complicated person to sort it out with. If she went to Rachel then said girl would know Quinn had feelings for her. But Brittany couldn't really help at this point. Rachel was the only one who could truly help Quinn.

"Well what did you think?" Puck asked, politely offering Quinn his jacket as they left the theatre.

"What? Nothing,' Quinn answered quickly.

"Huh? I was talking about the movie, Q," Puck laughed.

"I mean it was alright. I'm not really a Nicholas Cage fan."

Quinn declined his offer for his jacket without a word.

"Quinn, before I take you back to your room, we can just talk?"

"Um…sure."

They walked a couple of blocks in silence until they got to a park. She thought the whole point of the walk was to talk. They hadn't spoken a word. He finally led her to a bench and sat down. Quinn followed suit. He took a deep breath but then exhaled.

"Noah, what's going on? You wanted to talk, right?" Quinn asked.

He nodded.

"So talk. I'm not scary. You can talk to me about anything," she smiled.

He really was a nice guy underneath that badass exterior.

"Why haven't we kissed?" he blurted out so suddenly Quinn was taken completely off guard.

"Uh, what?"

"Sorry…it's just…we've been dancing around each other all semester. You know how much I like you…but I have no idea where you stand, Q."

"Oh," was the only response she could think of.

"I'm not trying to pressure you or anything. Last weekend before break was pretty messed up. Then brunch was…really intense. I mean, Rachel and I made up completely over Thanksgiving. We both said things we didn't mean. But I just want you to know that even though she and I slept together in high school I don't have feelings for her like that. She's like a bro to me. So sometimes we fight or whatever but we'll still have each other's backs. She and I are good. I wanted to make sure you and I are good…cuz I really like you and I'm trying to figure you out but you're like the hardest person to read," he shyly tried to put it into words.

Quinn reached over and gently placed her hand on top of his. He looked so hopeful but at the same time, she knew it was her moment. She had to be honest with him. Either way, this conversation had to happen tonight. He just merely beat her to the punch. She had to come clean.

"I like you, Puck. I like you a lot. I love spending time with you and you're one of my best friends here…."

"But," he said with a defeated sigh.

"I'm sorry. I just don't feel that way about you. I want to. Believe me, it would be so much easier if I did. Yes, there's still a 'but' which means I can't be with you. I'd only be hurting you more and lying to myself," Quinn admitted.

"I get it. No hard feelings. Can't force what you don't feel. It's cool. I mean it's been like three months. I think I was just clinging to the idea, ya know. But three months and no action. It's kinda clear it wasn't gonna happen for us. I just needed to hear it or something."

"I'm sorry if I lead you on."

"Nah. You didn't. I mean we hung out. We've had fun. Yeah, I like you. But I mean if you don't feel it, I can't make you. It's cool. I'll be fine. We'll be fine," Puck smiled easily.

"Seriously? Just like that? It's fine?"

"What'd you expect, Q? You wanted me to be heartbroken? We're friends. We've never even kissed. It's not like I wasn't kind of expecting it. We'll still hang, right?"

"Of course," Quinn replied immediately.

"Then it's cool. It's not like I've never thought Berry was hot…or Brittany…or Cedes. I can be friends with hot chicks. No worries, Q. You can be one of my bros, now. Ask Berry or Britt. It's fun," Puck laughed.

"I'm looking forward to it then," Quinn giggled.

"Good."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she felt it all bubbling up inside her and she couldn't take it anymore.

"Can I tell you something? I mean if we're bros now or whatever. Can I talk you about something?" Quinn asked.

"You have feelings for Rachel," he laughed.

Quinn's response got caught in her throat.

"It's okay, Q. She has that affect on people," Puck merely shrugged. "And she has absolutely no idea that she does."

"It's not just Rachel, though. I mean, it is. I'm trying to figure it all out, you know? I'm really confused because I thought I knew exactly who I was. But it's not just about Rachel."

"So maybe into girls? You really will be in my bro club with me and Berry."

Quinn laughed and shook her head. Puck smirked and nudged her with his shoulder before she rolled her eyes. He wrapped her in a one-armed hug before kissing the top of her head sweetly. Quinn sighed contently and he pulled back from her. The Mohawked boy studied her for a moment.

"What?" Quinn asked with a tiny smile.

"You know you're one of my girls, right? I really like you so I think I've gotta say this. Be careful with her, Q."

"You told me before. That first night we all went out. You tried to warn me about her. You said you weren't sure if she was even capable of relationships," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that. Yeah, Rachel is a difficult person. Yes, she hasn't had a relationship in a long time. Yes, she always second guesses everything. Yes, she's probably the most guarded person I've ever known. And yes, she's really intense. When she wants something she goes for it. She sent a chick to a crack house to get a solo. She really goes for the things she wants. I just don't think she knows how to go for this. Rachel's been hurt a lot. Far more than she lets on, and if she won't let me in. If she won't even let Brittany, the most harmless girl ever, in, I'm not sure who she's gonna let in. But I'm just afraid it's even worse than _I_ think it is."

"Meaning what exactly?"

"Meaning I called her out on it like the jackass I can be. She always thought she sucked at relationships and I agreed it. I threw it right in her face. For somebody like Rachel, hearing your deepest fears shot right back at you…it's gotta make it even worse. _Meaning,_ she's got more walls built than China and Berlin combined. Yes, Berlin came down but I guarantee cracking Rachel Berry is gonna be a lot harder than that," Puck answered.

Quinn just stared at him in wonder.

"What? I pay attention in class every now and then. Even I know about Berlin and China and walls and shit," Puck blushed.

"Berlin and China and walls and shit? You're deep, Noah," Quinn teased.

"Shut up," Puck laughed before becoming serious again. "The point is Rachel doesn't do dating. Not after Finn. She's crazy insecure just about having friends. Forget romantic shit. She's avoided dating all together. She's only made out with a couple of girls. That's it. She's kissed a few girls and none of those were relationships. She's only ever been with Finn and me."

"Well it's not like I've ever dated a girl either," Quinn mumbled.

"Quinn, she has no idea what to do in a real relationship and if I were just looking out for you that would be my warning. She'll hurt you before she'd let you hurt her. But since I'm technically looking out for _both_ of you, your both my girls, my girl bros, whatever, I've gotta be totally honest and say this part…if you can stick it out, Rachel would be the best there is. I have no doubt about that. But it'll be really hard and underneath it all, she's kinda broken and shit, Q. I'd hate for her to break you in the process of you trying to fix that. Even more than that, if you break her more…I don't think she'd ever get over it. She really likes you. You're probably the best friend she's ever had and on top of that, you've never let her down like the rest of us have. She's already let you in more than most people but it's still gonna take a hell of a lot more to really get in. And if that's what you want, I wish you the best of luck, Q. But I'd really hate to see both of you get hurt," Puck explained sincerely.

It struck Quinn again just how much he cared about Rachel and vice versa. He may act like a jerk and pretend to be some crazy sex-fiend who was trying to 'change for Quinn' but the truth was, Noah Puckerman was a really great guy who was smart and insightful. It was also scary how well he read people. Truth be told, Quinn hadn't actually thought about her feelings in regard to what they would do to Rachel or where it would go. She just knew she had feelings for the singer, Quinn was attracted to her, and sometimes the blonde wanted to kiss her and take care of her or protect her from everyone else. Okay, sure, she knew she was hung up on the tiny diva but Quinn hadn't even dreamed of actually being with her in a relationship. Now it was all Quinn could think about. Was she just attracted to Rachel? Or was it something more? Did she want to date her? Was this about so much more than simply being attracted to women?

After Puck dropped Quinn off at her dorm, she tried to sneak into the room as quietly as possible. She was hoping Rachel would already be in bed. Time passed a lot quicker in that park with Puck than the blonde had originally realized. However, the light was still on when she opened the door. There was Rachel in her shorts and a beater. She was wearing her glasses, had Quinn mentioned how much she loved it when Rachel was wearing glasses? She looked so cute and smart. Anyway, Rachel had her glasses on and she was reading a book.

"Hey," she smiled, keeping her finger on her place in the book.

"Hi."

"How was your date?" she grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

Rachel was so lame but Quinn adored her.

"It wasn't a date. We saw some stupid Nicholas Cage movie and it was alright."

"You're coming home awfully late," Rachel teased.

"We went to some park and just talked."

"Cool."

She went back to her book, sensing the end of that conversation. Quinn wasn't done though.

"I told him, I didn't want to date him," Quinn blurted out quickly.

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't."

"I guess better now then never. Was he okay?"

"He said no hard feelings and we sat there for another hour just talking about stuff like friends. I think he's actually okay with it," Quinn explained.

"Cool. That's good…I mean it's good for both of you."

Once again Rachel was back to that damn book. Well if it was so fascinating and more exciting than Quinn, then Quinn would just leave her to it. The taller girl went to the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her teeth, and changed into her pj's. Rachel was still completely engrossed in that book when Quinn returned. Quinn watched her for a minute as the blonde sat on her own bed.

Rachel really was gorgeous. Her hair pulled back out of her face. Messy with a few loose strands framing her cheeks. There was a slight crease in her forehead as she concentrated on the book. Her eyes frantically scanned the words on the page. She frowned, pouting slightly. It was absolutely adorable. She must've really been into whatever she was reading. Her finger ran along the page with her eyes. She paused to push her glasses up a little higher on her nose, crinkling said nose in the process. Quinn was just as engrossed in every action the other girl made and tracing every curve of Rachel's face with Quinn's own eyes as the brunette was engrossed in the book.

"How did you know?" Quinn asked.

"Know what?" she said, never lifting her eyes from that book.

"That you were…you know."

Now she looked up.

"Gay?" Rachel asked, her voice squeaking a little.

Quinn nodded, afraid to speak.

"I don't know. How did you know you're straight?"

Quinn closed her eyes and shook her head. Rachel didn't get it. If Quinn could answer that then she'd know that she was, in fact, straight…or she thought. She didn't know. Quinn was just confused. And Rachel didn't get it. After talking with Puck, Quinn thought she had sorted things out a little but now being here with Rachel. Staring at the smaller girl. Being literally confronted with Quinn's own feelings for her in the brunette's very presence, Quinn was so totally lost.

"But did you always know? I mean you dated Puck and that Finn guy," Quinn pressed.

"I…yeah, I dated him…but I think…I mean…it was always kind of there…like in the back of my mind or something...I don't really know how to explain it. I think you just know," Rachel stumbled around for the right answer, shutting her book.

Quinn won the war over the book. Rachel didn't even mark her page. Quinn was sure the diva would be upset later…but Quinn won over the stupid book.

"Weren't you ever confused?" Quinn asked softly, unable to meet her roommate's questioning gaze.

"All the time…what's this really about, Quinn?"

"I…I think that I…I'm confused all the time."

"Okay," Rachel said slowly. "Elaborate please."

"It's just that…so it was always in the back of your mind? Like did you know that's what it was? Or looking back now you can see that clearly you were gay, you just hadn't realized yet?"

Rachel studied the other girl carefully as she tried to pick her words.

"Well…I looked…you know. I thought I was supposed to be with guys. It's not that I can't appreciate an attractive guy. But I appreciate an attractive girl a lot more, I guess," Rachel explained.

"And you always knew that?"

"I don't know. No. Maybe…it's like…girls get you…or at least they get me. Not that I've even had a relationship with a girl. It just…it feels right. Sure, they're bitchy and usually more trouble than they're worth, but the right girl is…or I'm hoping that the right girl- well…it's like finding the right guy, only they understand you better. Or at least that's what I'm hoping for. Does that make sense?" Rachel asked.

It did. It made a lot of sense.

"I think I'm struggling to explain this clearly. What about like a metaphor? No an analogy. Let me give you an analogy," Rachel nearly beamed with excitement.

Quinn smiled despite the slightly nauseous feeling in her stomach.

"Okay analogy…let's say finding the right girl, for me, is- it's the same as finding the perfect pair of jeans. Everything fits. They feel right. They make you comfortable. They look good. They can enhance the things about you that you weren't aware were could actually be enhanced, like my rear end. I didn't even know I had what one could consider a nice butt until I found a good pair of jeans. Like finding the right girl, for me, would be finding somehow who could bring out the best in me that I wasn't even aware I had inside. She'd be my perfect pair of jeans. You wish you could wear them every day because your day is always that much better when you have on that pair cuz you feel that much better just being around her. But it's very hard to find the right pair. They only come along very now and then. It takes careful selection of the right cut and brand and style. But when you've found it, you know the second you try them on. They're just incredibly hard to find…which is why I usually wear skirts," Rachel concluded with a slightly perplexed look.

Quinn didn't know how to respond. In a round about way, Rachel had really made sense…and she did wear skirts a lot…that wasn't the point though. Rachel was staring at Quinn nervously awaiting a response.

"I think I know what you're getting at," Quinn replied softly.

The way Rachel was looking at her made the blonde wonder if Rachel already knew about the questions running through Quinn's mind. It was like the brunette was seeing right through her. Did she know how confusing it was for Quinn just being near her? The moment was so charged for Quinn. Did Rachel feel that, too? Did she feel this thing between them?

"Listen, Quinn, the difference between guys and girls was a difference in fit for me. Different brands, different strokes for different folks. Whatever that terrible saying is," Rachel laughed.

"But it's all about the fit? How did you know that girls would fit better than guys? Isn't it possible to find a guy who would fit?" Quinn questioned, trying to block out her father's voice that kept saying love is between and man and a woman. Marriage is for a man and a woman. Anything else was an abomination.

"Why can some girls wear jeggings and not look like idiots while others should stick to flare or boot cut? Dating guys, for me, was like wearing those jeans that your mom bought for you that you hide in the back of your closet. Yeah, they look nice enough but they're uncomfortable. They're not the right style. They're too tight or too long or too baggy. They're just not the right fit. You'd never wear them in public. And the only reason you'd even wear them in the first place is because you'd want to please the person who bought them for you. It seems like the right thing to do. To wear the pair someone else bought for you even though there's no way you would've picked them for yourself. But why disappoint everyone else who likes that pair? Why disappoint your parents who bought them for you, who wanted you to have a certain life, ya know? So I wore them for a while and they were okay but it was more about pleasing others. I needed something that fit me."

"So how did you know you wanted these other jeans instead of the kind your parents bought? How did you know that another kind would fit better?" Quinn ask, finding it increasingly difficult to speak.

"Well to stick with the jeans analogy, I think I'd been admiring a different style in the store window for years and then one day I just grabbed a pair, went to the fitting room, and found out they worked for me," she smiled at her own cleverness.

There was a long silence. It made sense. You never know until you try or something like that. You have to be brave enough to try something new, to stop settling for what your parents wanted you to have. Quinn's mind was swimming.

Rachel finally spoke up again, "I wasn't sure, Quinn. I had my suspicions. I thought maybe I liked girls, but I was terrified to do anything about it. Yes, I told Santana. Then she told everyone. I still didn't actually do anything about it. I slept with Puck. That was a disaster, but I didn't really know until I kissed some girl last spring. It was different than all the other kisses, all the boy kisses. I realized I liked it more and I was definitely more attracted to women. I had already been outted to the whole school so it wasn't shocking for anyone else in town. But when I kissed Jennifer Nealson in a coffee shop two towns away from Lima, I knew I couldn't deny it anymore. I may have been terrified but I couldn't deny it."

"Well let's just say…going back to the jeans analogy…I, I don't know how much admiring I've done in the past…but I've recently been glancing in the window at a different style," Quinn paused to take a breath, her hands were shaking.

"Ok. So you've been a random window shopper," Rachel laughed. "Just tell me what's going on, Quinn. You're shaking."

Rachel crossed the room in an instant and sat right beside Quinn on her bed. Quinn's heart was pounding as Rachel softly placed her warm and impossibly smooth hand on top of the blonde's. Quinn felt so inadequate next to her in that moment. Here was this perfect and wonderful girl who was so incredibly brave. She had been through so much with her fathers, her town, her high school, and her questioning. Yet she managed to come out on top. She was an amazing person.

"I'm a window shopper," Quinn admitted, barely able to speak because her mouth had become so dry. The words sounded so ridiculous to her own ears but the implication behind them was anything but ridiculous.

"It's ok. It's perfectly natural to look. Lots of people are curious. You've just been opened up to the rest of the world. Not everyone behaves and acts like your parents. There are gay people in the world. They're not all terrible human beings who are destined for Hell. Call it culture shock. Call it whatever. It's ok for you to be curious about all of the new things and new people you're experiencing. It doesn't have to be scary. There are lots of reasons," Rachel explained gently.

"What if I'm more than curious? What if I'm considering going shopping for a new pair of jeans? A different pair?"

"Then I guess, ultimately, that's your call. You may be the type of person who will never know until you try. Quinn, some people just _know_. Some people don't. But if you think there's even a chance that you are…looking for a new pair of jeans, then there's no harm in just looking. Nobody said you have buy that label just because you tried it on. Isn't that what college is for? Experimenting or something," Rachel grinned.

"But I wouldn't even know where to look," Quinn lied.

She knew exactly where to look and her perfect jeans were sitting on the bed right next to her.

"Well I'm certainly no expert either. My dating track record is very limited. Brittany's been trying to help me out in that area all semester. But I have to admit it's a little daunting. I met Jennifer online. We chatted back and forth for weeks but by no means had a relationship. We had one date. She kissed me and it was amazing. I mean I knew I liked girls after that but I also knew I didn't like Jennifer. We weren't very compatible. She wasn't a perfect fit. Closer than Finn or Puck had been, but not completely right for me…but I suppose there are places we could go. What about going to Lola's? Brittany always said I'd have great success there. We could go with the actual intent of meeting people this time," Rachel offered.

Quinn shrugged.

"We could go shopping," Rachel winked.

"But…Lola's? That's it? That's the only place? We've been there like one time. You haven't even met women you're interested in here at college? You haven't met anyone anywhere else?"

Quinn was trying to drop hints. Did Rachel like anyone at school? Had any girls caught her eye? She knew Rachel hadn't met anyone at Lola's that night. That Marissa girl had been there but Rachel definitely hadn't been interested in her. In fact, the only person Rachel had shown any interest in that night had been Quinn. Hint, hint, Rachel. Where's your head at?

Rachel rolled her eyes lightly and bit her lip with a smile still upon her face, "I wouldn't say I haven't met women I've been interested in. I'm just looking for something a little more than the common hook up. I'm sure there are other gay bars in Columbus. We can try Lola's here near campus again. Oh and there are tons of functions on campus that could work, too. We could go to a pride rally. This will be so much fun!"

Quinn's stomach immediately dropped. A pride rally? Rachel was getting a little ahead of herself.

"I don't know about all of that, Rach. I mean a bar is one thing but student organizations and rallies. I'm just trying to figure out if I'm even…well this is all very new to me."

"Well then we can just go out," Rachel replied, then her eyes widened comically. "I mean not like we can just go out as in we, as in each other, as in dating each other. But we could go to bars together, not together together. Just go out together to a bar. Not a date with each other. We could go to Lola's again. I mean I shopped a little at Lola's that night. Checked out the latest styles, if you will. It could be fun to try there again. Maybe we could both actually get some phone numbers or something from other women."

Suddenly Quinn was pissed. Rachel was looking at other girls that night. How dare she!

"So you're planning on just taking random women home from the bar? Going to Lola's and getting a bunch of numbers?' Quinn asked sharply.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. Random women? Where's this coming from? I certainly wouldn't leave you at the bar alone to go hook up with some random woman. I'm perfectly capable of being your wingman, or wing woman. I'm just saying it could be nice to go out and meet other women. We could be each other's wing women. Is that a thing? Wing women?"

"Meet other women? So I'm confused about who I am and you just want to use me as a wing woman? You've been just waiting for somebody to go to the gay bar with you so you could meet a bunch of girls. You could've always asked Brittany. You didn't have to wait around until I was good and confused and then use me as some wing woman!"

"I didn't mean anything like that. Why are you so angry at me? You're obviously having some feelings and-," Rachel started, immediately back tracking, almost terrified.

"You have no idea what I'm feeling! Don't you dare tell me what I'm feeling, Rupaul. That's what they called you, right?" Quinn seethed.

Rachel took in a sharp breath. Hurt flashing across her face.

"I wasn't trying to imply that I knew what you're feeling or going through. I'm sorry if I offended you," Rachel replied as if Quinn had just slapped her.

Quinn felt the air rush right out of her lungs when she realized how cruel she had been to the other girl. Quinn hadn't snapped at someone or been that mean since high school. She wanted to leave that girl, the evil head cheerleader, far behind.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean that. I don't' know why I said that. I just…I am so sorry. I'll be your wing woman. I'll go to any bar with you. I'm sorry I acted like that. It's my defense mechanism and it really sucks. I'm sorry. Do you want me to help you pick up a girl?" Quinn asked, fighting back tears that appeared out of nowhere.

Rachel laughed in a way that let Quinn know how disappointed she was with the blonde. Quinn knew she reacted horribly. She knew Rachel didn't want to pick up some random girl. But Quinn needed to hear it from Rachel. Quinn suddenly had this irrational jealousy that she'd never experienced before and she just needed Rachel to tell her that everything would be fine.

"I don't want some random girl. I don't even really want to go pick up girls at all. I'll help you, if that's what you want. But I don't want anyone," Rachel said finally meeting Quinn's eyes with an intensity unlike anything the blonde had ever felt before.

"Why?"

There was a very long pause. The air was thick between them. Rachel knew. Quinn knew that Rachel knew how the blonde felt about her. Rachel had felt it when Quinn kissed her. And Quinn knew that Rachel had kissed her back. It all made sense in some really twisted and confusing way. Quinn's heart was in the throat.

"I think you know why," Rachel whispered, the realization hitting both.

It was simple. And she was right. Quinn knew. In a way Quinn had always known. The blonde couldn't look away from her. They were stuck and they both knew it. Rachel's dark brown eyes were sucking Quinn in and there was nowhere else she'd rather be. She had found her perfect pair of jeans. She needed them. Quinn had to tell her.

"So you're going shopping this weekend? We can hit Lola's before you go home for break and I'll be the best wing woman in the history of the world," Rachel said, tearing her eyes away from Quinn's and staring at the ground.

Just like that the moment was over and Quinn could barely breathe, let alone form a coherent thought. Rachel was pulling back. The brunette was scared. Puck had warned Quinn about this. Both girls knew that there was something between them…and both were too scared to do anything about it. Rachel stood up and walked back over to her bed without waiting for Quinn's response.

"Sure. Lola's sounds great," Quinn replied dejectedly.

"I'll help you find a good pair, Quinn," Rachel said, her voice barely more than a quiet hush in the room.

"Thanks."

"Hey, what are best friends for."

Quinn nodded. Best friends. They were best friends. Quinn could tell the girl that she was the reason Quinn was questioning everything she'd ever known. The blonde could almost say the words of how much she needed Rachel and wanted her. Quinn was so close to saying everything. Putting it all out there and telling the tiny diva that they were scared but they could do this thing, even though Quinn was still unsure of what exactly "this thing" was that they could do. Somehow, she had completely fallen for the tiny singer. She could tell her. Still, at the end of it all, they were best friends and Rachel had never had a real friend before. She needed a best friend. They were best friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. So Quinn didn't say another word.

_AN: I dedicate this chapter to all my faithful reviewers! Your virtual chocolate is amazing and I live for it! Thank you all for your words of encouragement and sharing with me how much you enjoy what I'm writing. I hope I continue to entertain! These two chapters from today are also dedicated to Adele...without her new album I wouldn't have had great music to listen to while writing. So thank, Adele! As always, thank you all for reading. Please review! Thank you, come again!_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Finals week flew by and before Quinn knew it, it was Friday before break started. She really didn't want to go home. On top of her anxiety of going home, Rachel had been weird and distant since their conversation Tuesday night. Every time they were alone, they brunette shut up. Suddenly she didn't know how to talk to Quinn anymore or something. Whenever they were around everyone else, Rachel acted like nothing had changed. They were best friends. They would giggle. They had inside jokes. They ate dinner with everyone else. They would walk back to their dorm, talking and goofing off the entire way. But as soon as they were inside the room alone, nothing. Joking was over. Rachel would read a book. The brunette would always mumble something about homework or studying and not speak to Quinn for the rest of the night. The worst nights were when Rachel would come up with some excuse to just leave altogether. Quinn was trying so hard to get her to talk about anything. Rachel just shut down. Maybe she was overreacting. They did have finals. They were both studying. Still, Quinn couldn't help feeling like Rachel was avoiding her.

"So I'm leaving tomorrow," Quinn said, trying to mask her sadness.

"Yep."

Silence.

Come on, Quinn. Think of something to say. She could do this. She could have a normal conversation with Rachel. Nothing had changed. So Quinn told the girl that she was interested in women…or she might be interested. Rachel had said she'd help. She hadn't helped yet or really even brought it up again. They hadn't spoken about it at all after that night…or really spoken about anything at all. Quinn could do this though. She just had to get Rachel talking again.

"Brittany invited me to come stay with her over break. So I'll probably be in Lima," Quinn tried again.

"Cool."

"I thought maybe I could visit…crash with you for a night or two…if you wanted to hang out over break."

"Yeah. Maybe," Rachel replied shortly.

Rachel was doing something on her laptop. Avoiding Quinn seemed to be the main activity though. Screw it. They were going talking about it and Quinn didn't care anymore. If she looked like an obsessive idiot, so be it. Rachel could not be allowed to ignore her anymore!

"Are we still okay?" Quinn asked.

The singer finally looks at her roommate.

"What do you mean?" she asked, pretending to be oblivious and it really pissed Quinn off.

"What do I mean? You've been avoiding me all week. It's like you don't know what to say to me anymore. In front of everyone else, it's fine. But the minute we're alone, you don't want to talk to me. What did I do? How did I piss you off?"

"What? You're crazy. I'm not avoiding you."

Rachel went back to her stupid computer. Quinn had enough so she walked over and shut the damn thing. Rachel sighed loudly.

"I'm not crazy and you have been avoiding me. Is this because I told you I'm interested in girls?"

"Quinn," Rachel said in a way that was supposed to be calming.

It wasn't working!

"Rachel," Quinn mocked. "Saying my name like that isn't going to do anything. It doesn't erase the way you've been acting. What's going on with you? Did I steal your big gay thunder or something?"

"Now you're just being ridiculous!"

Rachel was getting pissed. Good! It was about time Quinn got a reaction out of her.

"Ridiculous? I'm being ridiculous? You're ridiculous! You're so hypocritical! You avoid me for weeks on end because you're afraid that I would hate you because you're gay. I tell you that I might like girls. I tell you I'm confused. I expect you to understand. What do you do? You avoid me like the plague. Thanks, Rach! I feel great!"

Rachel bit her lip and glared at the blonde. Then she stood up and began pacing. She turns to face Quinn at random points throughout her ranting. Then returned to pacing.

"What is wrong with you, Quinn? Why do you always attack? You don't even think about the consequences of any of your actions. You don't even consider my feelings. You just attack me. You can't calmly ask me what's wrong? You can't possibly stop and think what all of this might mean for me? Well I'm sorry if you think I'm being a hypocrite," Rachel replied, aggravated.

"Attack you? I thought you were my best friend. Sorry if I thought that meant a little more support and lot less avoidance," Quinn snapped back.

"Yes, attacking! That's exactly what you're doing!"

"I'm not! I just…God!" Quinn trailed off with a growl.

"What do you want me to say to you, Quinn? That it's great that you're confused? Have fun being a lesbian just like me? It's not all fun and games. People are going to hate you for no reason. People who don't even know you will judge you. Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into? You're walking around like nothing has changed. You drop this huge bomb on me and expect me to…I don't know! What did you expect me to do? Hold your hand all the way through this 'gay thing'? I can't figure it out for you. I can't be inside your head and tell what what to think or feel. You have to do it yourself," Rachel answered.

"I just thought…we haven't talked about it. You've just been avoiding me."

"I didn't mean to avoid you. I didn't realize you wanted to talk about it more. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Did you want me to question you all the time? Was I supposed to tell everyone else at lunch? Or let you do that on your own time? Let you tell people in your own way? Was I supposed to out you? To make a big deal? To be on your case all the time? Gee, Quinn, do you think you really might be gay? Or just curious? Do you wanna go to a gay bar tonight? Do you want me to fix you up with some woman? I'm not sure what you want from me. I already told I'm no expert. Yes, I like women but I've never been with one. I've never had a relationship with a woman. I don't know what you want me to do about it."

"I want you to stop ignoring me. I want you to talk to me like your friend. We used to have movie nights. We used to talk about anything and everything. Now when we're alone, you don't say anything. It's always 'yep' or 'nope' or 'cool'. Not even complete sentences. From you! Lack of complete sentences from Rachel Berry, Queen of the Verbose. Why? What's so different now?" Quinn asked, tears springing to her eyes.

How could Rachel make her more emotional and crazier than anyone else in the world? Quinn had gone through four years of high school, an emotional breakup with her first and only boyfriend, and all of the drama that being a Fabray entailed. Somehow, she had cried more that semester dealing with Rachel than Quinn had in her entire life.

"Everything! Everything's different now!" Rachel exclaimed.

"How?"

"It just is! Don't you get it? It's all different. You come in here like some innocent, uptight, Catholic, cheerleading princess. You represented every person who hated me in high school when we met. You were captain of your cheerleading squad, popular, straight, and incredibly religious. I was on eggshells around you. Will I offend her because I have two fathers? Because I'm gay? Does she care that I'm Jewish? I can't stay in my own room. Then suddenly it's fine. You don't care that I'm gay, you're cool, and we're friends. Then as it turns out, one of my only friends has a thing for you and he gets mad at me every other day like it's my fault or something. Then you just turn my entire world upside down by saying that you might be just like me and yet you act like it's nothing. Everything's normal. You walk into my life and change everything but it's totally normal. Doesn't matter that my life is spiraling out of control since the moment I met you! Of course not! Because everything is normal and it doesn't matter what happens because it's all still normal!" Rachel freaked out a little.

"Okay. Hold on. Just calm down a little and we can talk about this," Quinn backpeddled.

"Talk about it? Isn't that what we're doing? I get that this is huge for you. But do you get that it's huge for me, too? I'm not trying to make this all about me. I realize that I am a diva and I have this tiny need to make everything about me. That's not what I'm doing here. I'm just saying that I don't know how to be some gay guru for you."

"I know but…"

"But what? I can only tell you what I know to be fact. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide who you are. I think it's great that you're willing to explore this and you're not trying to force yourself into the closet forever. You've got an open mind and I know you're freaking out but it's really great that you didn't pull the same stupid tricks that I did. I dated a boy I didn't really love for a very long time. I slept with one of my closest friends, probably severely skewing our relationship in some way forever. I made a lot of mistakes in coming to terms with who I am. You still have a long road ahead…but so do I. I've never dated a girl. I've never had a serious relationship that truly matters. But I know that you can get your heart broken just as easily by a girl as you can by a boy. Relationships still suck no matter which gender you're with. This is a really tricky time for you and I'm so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. I am no expert. I have made plenty of mistakes. And guess what. It still hurts. When I came out, a lot of people got hurt, including me. I hurt Finn. I hurt Puck. It all got twisted into some sick love triangle or rectangle or something between Finn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, and me. So maybe, I don't know, maybe I just don't want to see a lot of people get hurt…so you're gay? That's great, Quinn. Really. Good for you. But I don't know how to be the one to help you know for sure. I can't be the one to help you find someone else. I can't do that Noah, even if he's fine with it, and I sure as hell won't do that to _me_- shit! Not like that! Not like I have feelings for you! This is all coming out so wrong. I just…"

Rachel trailed off. Her heart was racing uncontrollably. The room was way too hot. Rachel was going to faint or vomit or cry. She wasn't even sure what she was trying to say.

Quinn was equally as freaked out. Was Rachel implying that she didn't have feelings for the blonde? That was fine. Quinn didn't expect her to return them. Was it really all about Puck? Quinn felt like she couldn't breathe and there was a huge weight crushing her pathetic little heart.

Rachel flopped back on her bed and rubbed her temples, trying to pick her words carefully.

"Let me try this again….Quinn, I'm incredibly sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you…or to yell at you just now…I want to be there for you during all of this. I know it's very hard and it's all incredibly mind-boggling at times. I wish I had had someone to stand by me when I was trying to figure it out. It's confusing. I know cuz I've been there, but I don't know what the right words are. I don't know how to make any of this easy for you. I wish I could. But no matter what, this is still going to be hard. You never really know how your friends and family will react. I want to be here for you. I am here for you. You have to know that I'm here…I don't always have the right thing to say though. Sometimes, it's probably better if I don't say anything at all. Coming out or even just questioning your sexuality is different for everyone. I don't know how to advise you in this. I wish I did, but I have no idea what I'm doing," Rachel paused and sat up to look Quinn in the eye.

So far Quinn would have to say Rachel was doing a great job at finding the right words. She always has the right words. Maybe in her mind she says everything wrong but, to Quinn, it always seemed like the singer could read her mind and say exactly what Quinn needed to hear to feel better. In some ways, Quinn thought Rachel knew her better than anyone.

Rachel shook her head as if to clear it and started speaking again, still choosing each word carefully.

"I'd love to be this great wingman, or wing-woman…whatever…the point is, I thought that we could just go out to bars, I'd help you introduce yourself to women…but I can't…because I really don't know what I'm doing. I mean, we can go to a bar. I'll try to help. But after the other night, I just started thinking. I'm not good with this stuff. I'm not good at relationships. I don't really do relationships anymore and for me to try to guide you or something...you're not the type of girl that people just randomly hook up with in a bar. You're way too good for that. You're the kind of girl people bring home to meet the folks or however the saying goes…the few women I've met here at school aren't like that. The women I've met are…sluts. There's no nice way to put it. I can't stand by and be the wingman while those kinds of women take advantage of you. I can't let that happen. And I'm sure Brittany could take both of us out and get us introduced to lots of women, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that. I adore Brittany but she doesn't know the first thing about a committed relationship and the girls that she would introduce to both of us…I just think throwing yourself head first into a situation like that wouldn't be helpful in figuring out who you. I care about you a great deal, Quinn…I want this to be great for you. If you're gay, I want to be the best support system there is. If you're not, I still want to be the best support system you have. You're my best friend. I'm just afraid I'll let you down. I don't have a lot of experience with having friends, especially friends who are going through something potentially life changing. I don't want you to get hurt and getting hurt is definitely a part of being gay…especially at the beginning. I don't want to somehow screw up and make that even worse...I don't know if I can protect you from everything, from the hurtful words, the difficult situations, the evil glances from strangers…but I want to. I wish I could be the ultimate gay superhero to make this easy for you…but it's not going to be easy, no matter how hard I try," Rachel explained carefully.

Quinn was speechless. Instead of saying anything, she just flung her arms around Rachel and hugged her tightly. Rachel stood stiffly for a moment then wrapped her arms around Quinn just a tightly. Quinn buried her face in Rachel's hair, smelling her wonderful shampoo and loving the warmth of her body encompassing. Quinn thought she could stand like that forever.

"Thank you," Quinn whispered in her ear.

"I haven't done anything yet. You can thank me after we get Brittany and go to Lola's tonight," Rachel replied softly.

"Really?"

Rachel pulled away just enough to see the blonde's face. She smiled at Quinn brilliantly and nodded. Their faces were so close. They wrapped up in each other so tightly. It felt far too intimate for best friends. Rachel realized that and pulled away. The cold wrapping around both of them where the other's arms used to be was almost painful.

"I'm not suggesting we got out and meet a bunch of women and throw your sexuality all around…but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to window shop a little. Just see what's out there. However, don't think for one second that I won't jump in if Brittany tries to introduce you to some hussy. No sense letting things get messy from the start," Rachel smirked.

"I think you're a far better support system than you give yourself credit for," Quinn grinned.

"You better get ready, Quinn. Men may not notice if you've plucked, shaved, waxed, bleached, and primped…but I guarantee a woman notices all your hard work because she puts in just as much," Rachel laughed.

"You're one to talk, Berry. I've seen your wardrobe. We have our work cut out for us. We both have to look our best tonight."

Quinn put extra effort into making sure her appearance was perfect. She was so nervous. Just had to put the finishing touches on her makeup and she'd be ready to go. Rachel and Brittany would hopefully be done in the bathroom and then they could get out of there.

Rachel, on the other hand, couldn't compose herself in the bathroom. She felt like she could throw up. She had probably developed major anxiety issues since rooming with Quinn Fabray. Brittany was finishing Rachel's makeup and kept reminding the singer to breathe.

"You guys ready?" Quinn asked, knocking on the bathroom door.

Brittany flung open the door with a "Ta da!" and grinned.

Rachel looked flawless. She was wearing a deep burgundy halter that barely reaches down to her skirt, leaving a little of Rachel's toned stomach exposed. The shirt was skin tight, leaving little to the imagination of just how toned she really was and how well endowed despite what most would initially think. Her tight jeans clung to her curves deliciously. The black stilettos accentuate her legs perfectly and putting her a little closer to Quinn's height.

Quinn's eyes trailed from Rachel's adorable little feet up those perfectly toned legs, to her abs then to her cleavage, up her glorious neck, which was exposed nicely since her hair was swept up but still leaving curling tendrils to frame her face, and finally landing on said face. Rachel's makeup was like the rest of her: perfect. Smoky eyes, deepened her already dark browns, just enough color to her cheeks, and dark luscious lips that had the oh-so-kissable pucker down pact. Rachel blushed slightly and smiled at Quinn's obvious approval.

"You look…yeah," fumbled from the blonde's mouth.

"She looks way hot," Brittany agreed.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Fabray," Rachel giggled.

"I would say you two were totally do-able. But I'm not coming on to you. The wingman should never take home the captains. First rule…but I don't always follow rules," Brittany winked.

"You told about the wingman?" Quinn laughed.

"In all seriousness though, Quinn, you look perfect. The women are going to be throwing themselves at you tonight. You'll be able to take your pick…after undergoing a careful screening process from me first, of course," Rachel smiled.

"You sure I look alright?" Quinn asked nervously.

Her white short sleeve blouse over a light pink tank top and a jeans seemed to pale in comparison to the wardrobe Brittany gave to Rachel. Quinn looked like she was from a small country town or was incredibly religious. All she needed was a cowboy hat and some boots or a cross and bible combo and she'd be good to go. Dear God, how was she supposed to do this? She thought about dressing sexy but then freaked out every time she pulled something less conservative out of her closet. She had slutty clothes. The second she thought about wearing them to Lola's, she freaked out.

"You look great. You're cute, Q," Brittany grinned.

"But do I really want to be cute? Or do I want to be hot?" Quinn pouted.

"Cute" Rachel answered at the same time that Brittany's "hot" rang out.

"Quinn, you are hot. Unbelievably gorgeous, to be honest. You're a little classier than the rest. You don't have to wear clothes that barely cover your goods to get attention…especially if that makes you feel uncomfortable for tonight. If you want to really meet someone, like actually and truly meet them, then you need to be yourself," Rachel explained.

"You're not being yourself."

"I was convinced by Brittany to try a different approach tonight. Also I know who I am. I don't need to worry about that part. I know that I like women. Despite, never being in a relationship with one, I do know that I am, for a fact, a lesbian. So I might be hoping to attract some attention. With Brittany's help, it may be the wrong kind of attention, but attention none the less. Perhaps if I'm to help you figure out yourself, I, too, need to step out of my comfort zone."

"I think I should change," Quinn groaned.

"In general or your outfit? Your personality is astounding. Don't change that. As for your choice of outfit, I'm telling you it's fine," Rachel replied.

"Please don't take offense when I say that your fashion sense may be slightly skewed. I've seen the photos of argyle. Plus, I don't want to be fine. I want to be…sexy," Quinn retorted.

"Please, Q," Brittany laughed.

"Why are you laughing? Do you think I'm incapable of being sexy?"

Brittany doubled over while Rachel's eyes nearly bulged out of her head and the brunette shook her head quickly. Brittany brought up her hands in surrender, still laughing.

"Do you seriously think you're not sexy and gorgeous like all the time? God, Q, if I knew you secretly thought you might like girls I would've taken advantage of that the second I saw you," Brittany confessed.

Rachel glared while Quinn blushed.

"But now that we're best friends and I know how crazy attached you'd be, I would never do it with you," Brittany amended quickly.

"Crazy attached!...wait! You would've hit on me?" Quinn asked slowly, savoring this moment inwardly.

"Hell yes!"

"Rachel?" Quinn teased, noticing the brunette's obvious jealousy.

"No! Well yes! I don't know! Maybe…probably. I don't tend to hit on anyone but I'm sure the thought would've crossed my mind. But don't worry about that. We're best friends. Things are how they are and I'm not hitting on you now. So we're good. Brittany was just making a point. You're an incredibly gorgeous, smart, funny, kind, and yes, sexy woman who would be a catch for any of these girls tonight…no matter what you're wearing."

"Thank you," Quinn blushed again.

Rachel flushed as well.

"You're welcome. Now lose the shirt. I'm gonna play dress up with my little dolly to make you 'sexy'," Brittany chuckled.

Quinn nodded unable to find the right words to say how sexy she already felt just by the way Rachel was looking at her. Or maybe the right words were already there but she was far too afraid to say them. Either way, Quinn was silent as Brittany rummaged through her dresser and then her closet to find the perfect top. Rachel stared at the ground still blushing.

"Here," Brittany grabbed a stunning blue dress from her own duffel bag she brought over.

"That? It's gorgeous. I-I couldn't wear that. What if I spill something on it? Or what someone else spills something on it?"

"That's what dry cleaning is for. Now put it on. If I'm right, that blue is going to look fantastic with your eyes and trust me, I'm never wrong."

Quinn took off her white shirt and then the skirt. She started to lift her tank top and realized she was standing in front of Rachel in just a tank top and her underwear…and Quinn was about to lose the top…and Rachel was watching her. Quinn froze. Rachel's eyes finally made their way to Quinn's face, Quinn's very, very warm and red face. Ha! Quinn believed her roommate was checking her out! FINALLY!

"You could always wear that," Brittany giggled while Rachel quickly blushed and stared back at the ground.

"What do you think?" Quinn asked after slipping it on.

Rachel looked up and her jaw dropped open. She blinked rapidly and managed to shut her mouth. Quinn could live with reactions like that.

"Mission accomplished, Q," Brittany beamed.

Quinn looked in the mirror. Brittany was right. The blue halter dress clung to Quinn's curves deliciously. It hit just mid-thigh. Looking classy and not too slutty but very sexy. The halter cut down low between her breasts accentuating her cleavage without giving too much away. She looked damn sexy.

"You need shoes," Brittany cleared her throat.

She gave the shorter blonde a pair of dark blue stilettos that match the dress. Quinn slipped one on her foot and nearly fell over trying to get the other one on. Rachel was at her side in a second, wrapping a secure arm around her waist and holding Quinn up. The blonde glanced over to see just how close Rachel's face was to her own. They both swallowed hard. Rachel's perfume invaded all of Quinn's senses. Dark brown eyes seem to suck Quinn in. Rachel smiled. Quinn smiled back. This was the moment. Quinn would just lean in and feel Rachel's lips on hers again like the blonde dreamed about ever since that first time they went to Lola's. Quinn started to move in a fraction of an inch. Brittany giggled and Rachel pulled away, blushing madly. Quinn glared at the other blonde who just winked. Rachel bent down and slipped the shoe on Quinn's other foot. There went their sexual tension. Damn! Rachel lets her hand linger over Quinn's foot after getting the shoe on and Rachel ran her hand up Quinn's smooth calf as she started to stand back up. Hello sexual tension. Welcome back!

Then just like that it was gone as Rachel crossed the room to grab their coats, mumbling something about it could get colder as the evening goes on and how it was December in Ohio so they were going to freeze wearing little skirts. Brittany was laughing at the crazy little brunette. With that, they headed to Lola's for Quinn's first official sexuality-questioning outing…oh come on, what else could it be called? It's not like it was her first official lesbian date…but how she wished it was.

_AN: And I'm back. Sorry it's been a little longer than usual in between updates. Work has been a bitch lol. Thank you to all of my faithful readers. You all are wonderful. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate and adore your reviews and messages. The virtual chocolate you've all been sending is amazing! Also in my creeperness, I was thrilled to see my story got mentioned on one of the LChat about Dianna and Lea. Yes, I was being a lurker on the website but I saw the new promo and got so pumped for Faberry friendship that I had to google it all and see what I could find. The Achele/Faberry supporters are amazing and I was amazed and beyond flattered to know that some of them were recommending my work to others. Anyways, I just really wanted to thank all of my readers for your support. so I hope you enjoy these two updates and I hope you'll keep coming back for more! Thank you, come again!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Their night started off with the same treatment as before. The bouncer let them in without seeing their ID's. Of course, he teased Brittany a little about her absence as of late. Inside, the bartender lined up shots for the three of them as soon as she saw Brittany. It was much slower in the bar that night than the last time they had been there. Most of the people left earlier in the week after their finals or they left earlier that day for break. Most of the crowd was older, a few college kids mixed in with the regulars. Brandi, the bartender, kept checking in with the girls. Did they need more to drink? How did their finals go? When were they all going home?

"I think we're her favorite customers tonight," Rachel giggled.

"Of course. Look at us," Brittany grinned.

"Need anything? Taking it slow tonight, Britt?" Brandi asked, returning to them for the millionth time.

"I'm good. My parents are coming tomorrow."

"Rachel? A shot? Cosmopolitan? Long Island? Sex on the beach?" Brandi offered.

"What? A sex on the beach? Is that really a drink?" Rachel giggled again.

Her three shots had gone straight to her head. Quinn and Brittany were already teasing her about being a lightweight as usual. At least she wasn't as bad as she used to be.

"Yes, it's real. You should try one," Quinn winked.

"Only if you have sex on the beach with me," Rachel wiggled her eyebrows before busting out in laughter.

"Your girl is way too cute, Quinn."

"She really is," Quinn chuckled, shaking her head slightly and faintly blushing.

Rachel's heart jumped up into her throat…but in a good way. She was Quinn's girl!

Brandi smiled at both of them in a way that made Quinn feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Quinn knew Brandi could tell how perfect they were for each other. Now if Quinn could make Rachel see that, then they'd be great. Her thoughts were interrupted by a brunette pushing her way up to the bar beside.

"Hey, Brandi," the brash but still incredibly feminine voice rang out.

"Santana?" Rachel asked.

The girls froze.

"Hey," Santana said slowly. "I didn't see you guys there."

"Yeah…we're here…just…being here," Brittany replied nervously.

"How-um…how've you been?" the Latina asked.

"Good…great…I've been great…how've you been?"

"Good…great…alright. I've been alright, I guess."

Quinn stared at the girl who had her friend so completely thrown and her Rachel nearly quaking in fear. The last time they had met, Quinn had been slightly intoxicated and too angry and defensive to really look at the girl. All she knew was Santana had made Brittany cry and Rachel miserable.

But now looking at her, it was clear Santana was gorgeous. Not too tall, not too short. Perfect height. She was curvy, but not too curvy. Once again, perfection kind of sprung to mind. She was curvier than Quinn but it was obvious they were both cheerleaders. Dark brown eyes. Very stunning brown eyes. Quinn always had a thing for brown eyes. Pink lips that smiled uncertainly around her perfectly straight, white teeth. Quinn had also recently developed a thing for lady lips, not to be confused with Sam's lady lips, but actual lady lips. Santana's long dark hair had more bounce than Quinn's straight, stringy blonde hair. Yet again, reminding Quinn that she had a preference for brunettes. It was not fair. Quinn felt like the big, flat, ugly stick in the room and Santana was the beautifully exotic girl who had the whole world at her feet, abusing power the way Quinn used to. It was like combining all the things she admired in Rachel but making them exotic and scary and adding in Quinn's old power. Had Rachel ever been attracted to Santana in high school? They were pretty close for a while. Had she ever thought about it? Quinn did not like this Santana girl.

"Where's Finn?" Rachel asked after a moment.

"Home. He left yesterday. Finished his finals and took off…we kind of had a little…fight, I guess so I'm no longer his keeper or whatever…he was pretty pissed at me so he went home as fast as he could…so…yeah. Here I am," Santana explained with a little blush.

"I'm sorry you're fighting," Brittany replied.

"Me too," Quinn interjected, making her presence known.

Santana looked at her as if just realizing she didn't actually know this girl. Quinn clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth together to keep from saying something she'd regret. Rachel seemed to shrink inside herself with the Latina's presence and Quinn wanted to throttle the stranger. It didn't matter if Santana was hot, she would kick her ass the second the Latina made any attack on Rachel.

"Oh sorry, you must think I'm completely rude. I'm Santana," she extended her hand to Quinn.

Quinn could spit on that hand for what she had done to Rachel and Brittany! The blonde couldn't stop her hand from meeting the other girl's though. Quinn may have hated the girl but her father taught her to never be impolite.

"Quinn Fabray," she give the Latina her iciest glare with a cold smile.

"She's my roommate," Rachel added in quickly.

"It's nice to meet you, Quinn. You were stuck with Berry, huh. She's sweet, though," Santana smiled fully at the three.

"Yes she is," Quinn glared.

Santana looked back and forth between the two and nodded knowingly. Then she turned her attention to Brittany.

"You look good, B," Santana said sincerely.

"Thanks…you look…you always look good, S. Tonight's no different," Brittany's voice wavered.

Quinn wanted to reach out to the other girl but she wasn't sure who needed her more that the moment. Brittany's broken heart but Rachel's broken spirit.

"I, um I owe you an apology, Berry."

"Excuse me?" Rachel squeaked.

"Those girls that jumped you like that…they weren't any of my girls and they were severely punished after. You and I have our own issues but you know I'd never send anyone after you like that. So I'm…well I'm…sorry…I guess. I don't know. Apologies aren't really my thing, but you know what I mean."

Rachel merely nodded, eyes still a little fearful. Quinn reached out to grab Rachel's hand but the brunette shook her off, sending a pleading look to Quinn not to touch her.

"Britt, I've been trying to get a hold of you. Can we talk somewhere without Berry and her pit-bull breathing down my neck?" Santana asked meekly.

Quinn scoffed, "Brittany doesn't need to listen to anything you have to say."

"Look, I don't even know you and I don't like you. Whatever's between me and B, is between me and my Britts. So you can back off, Princess. You're lucky I didn't kick in your teeth last time."

"She's not my pit-bull," Rachel mumbled.

"What's that hobbit? Speak up."

"I will kick your sorry ass," Quinn threatened.

"I'd like to see you try, Blondie," Santana growled.

"I said she's not my pit-bull. Quinn, I don't need you to fight my battles. You're not my girlfriend," Rachel stood between the two.

Santana laughed as Quinn visibly recoiled from the petite girl's words.

"Looks, like Berry finally grew her own backbone. Since I'm handing out apologies tonight, sorry about calling you hobbit. Old habits die hard. You actually look cute as of late," Santana smirked while Quinn seethed.

"What do you want Santana?" Brittany asked.

"I want to talk to you. I've been trying to talk to you. I've been damn near stalking you for like weeks. I went by your room. Your weirdo roommate said you'd be here."

"I'm here," Brittany nodded.

"Can't we talk somewhere else?" Santana asked, uncomfortably.

"Why? Rachel and Quinn are my friends. You can say it front of them."

"God this is just not my night…I didn't want to do this in front of them…but…I'm sorry, okay. You were my best friend. I treated you like shit. I'm really and truly sorry," Santana mumbled.

"Your best friend?" Brittany questioned, her blue eyes piercing the Latina.

"More than that and you and I both know it," the other girl sighed.

"Funny how you made Rachel's life hell despite what you were doing with Brittany," Quinn jumped back in.

"Funny how you weren't even there and seem to think you're the expert on everything," Santana snapped.

"Funny how you're a stupid bitch who thinks she can just do whatever she wants and there won't be any repercussions. Guess what, you're never getting near Rachel again."

"Like I want to have anything to do with the dwarf. I'm here for B."

"Rachel is not a dwarf," Quinn hissed.

"Yo, Manhands, you wanna call off your attack dog so I can have a conversation here?" Santana asked Rachel.

"Hey, you can't talk to her like that anymore. You wanna make comments? Why don't you go back to the corner you came from or how about you go hit your pole? I'm sure it's cold and lonely without you trying to make a couple extra bucks on it."

"Quinn, shut up!" Rachel snapped suddenly.

The shots and drinks she drank swirled a little in Quinn's head. She was already seeing red the second the Latina started running her mouth.

"I was just taking up for you," Quinn argued.

"Well don't," Rachel groaned.

"Yeah. You're not her little girlfriend," Santana snorted, laughing at the blonde's anger.

"Sorry, Rach. I won't make that mistake ever again. Maybe this is why nobody stood up for you in high school. You're ungrateful," Quinn spat, before taking off.

If Rachel wasn't her girlfriend then Quinn would find someone else to be her girlfriend. Rachel didn't want her to take up for her. She didn't want Quinn to be a real friend. That was fine. Quinn would find a new friend. She would find some hot girl to be her Jennifer or whoever that girl was that Rachel kissed first. If Rachel didn't need Quinn, then Quinn certainly didn't need her.

"You going after your girl?" Santana asked.

"Why? So you can tell everyone that Quinn is gay and torture her, too? She's just my roommate," Rachel glared.

"Oh get over it, Rupaul. This isn't high school anymore. I don't give a shit if you're gay. Those dumbass girls saw you screaming at me and thought they could prove something to me by going after you. I don't give a shit. Don't flatter yourself by thinking you're even on my radar anymore."

"Stop!" Brittany shouted. "Just stop being such a bitch to everybody!"

Santana looked like the blonde had slapped her, "That's what I'm trying to do. I came here to apologize because I miss you. I made a huge mistake last year so I broke up with Finn and hoped that it wasn't too late for us. I know I fucked up but I don't want anybody else."

"You broke up with Finn?" Rachel and Brittany asked.

"Yes," Santana answered to Brittany then turned to Rachel. "So now you can go apologize or whatever and try to get your boyfriend back."

"I'm gay, Santana. I don't want to date Finn."

"Get your best friend back whatever. I don't care. I'm just saying I'm out of it. It's your business, not mine. I'm completely done with him."

"You really broke up with him?" Brittany asked.

"I've been miserable for months. I figured there's no point dating someone I didn't love…especially when there's somebody out there who I do love. I was just too stupid to admit it."

"You love me?" the blonde asked, hopefully.

"Always, B," Santana smiled softly. "You're it for me. I was scared and stupid. Then it just hit me. I was listening to Finnocence go on and on about Call of Duty or some shit and it just hit me. I can't stand him. I was hiding behind that giant Frankenteen because I was too scared to actually be with the girl I love. I broke up with him on the spot. I called up my mom and I told her everything. I told her all about high school and how I was in love with you. I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"You told your mom? But what if she kicks you out? I thought that's why you said we couldn't be together before."

"I love you…the rest of that stuff doesn't matter to me anymore."

The dancer squealed and pulled the other girl in for a tight hug. Showering kisses all over her face.

"Please forgive me. I'm so sorry I hurt you, baby," Santana pleaded.

"I love you. I don't care about that anymore. I just care about you," Brittany smiled.

"It's that easy? She really hurt you," Rachel piped up.

"But I haven't been happy without her," Brittany replied simply.

Rachel shook her head and sighed. She needed to find Quinn.

"Hey, Berry," Santana called. "You better snatch up that blonde fast. She's pretty hot and she seems really into you."

Rachel glared at the Latina. She made Rachel's life hell. She told everyone that Rachel was gay. The rest of the school had tormented her and Santana was the one who started it. Granted, the Latina never actually touched Rachel or slushied her or spray-painted her house…but she was the catalyst. Now she was completely fine with Rachel being a lesbian? In fact, she had actually admitted she was in love with a girl? Rachel would never understand cheerleaders. At least Brittany was happy.

Six drinks later, Quinn was a mess. She wasn't really sure what the girl's name was…or how old she was. She was older though. Definitely not a college freshman. Quinn might have told this older woman that she was twenty-two. That might have been a lie. The blonde wasn't really sure how old she was at the moment. Quinn had never been so drunk. She thought the woman's name was Carma…maybe Carla…no, Carla was that one girl on Scrubs…Carmello…wasn't that a candy…Quinn was confused…and Quinn might have been drunk. Regardless, Carma-Carla-Carmello liked her. She told Quinn she liked her. Triple C was very nice. She was a little on the touchy-feely side though. Quinn couldn't seem to keep her hands where they should be. Was she kissing Quinn's neck? The blonde couldn't stop giggling.

"Do you wanna go some place where we can talk?" Carma-Carla-Carmello whispered in her ear.

Oh dear God, she had traced Quinn's ear with her tongue!

"Where?" Quinn giggled.

She just couldn't make those giggles stop.

"My place," Carma-Carla-Carmello suggested, running her hand up Quinn's thigh.

If her arms could work, Quinn thought she would at least try to move Triple C's hand. It was getting way too high. Her hand was officially between Quinn's legs. Getting very close to a place only one other person had been. Very close. Too close to…coldness. Quinn was spinning. She was falling. Oh arms! Arms wrapped around her. They smelled like Rachel!

"Easy, Quinn. Are you alright?" Rachel's voice washed over the drunk girl like everything Quinn had ever needed to feel safe.

"I'm…she's…drink…candy?" Quinn asked.

"Just wait right here, okay? Rachel is gonna sit here with you for a minute then we're taking you home," Brittany instructed.

"I'm gonna kick her ass," Santana had hissed while Quinn nearly fell into Rachel.

"I don't like that girl," Quinn grunted.

"I don't either but that girl just stopped you from nearly being raped on the dance floor," Rachel cooed, running her fingers through Quinn's hair gently.

"Hey, slut," Santana's voice rang out in Quinn's ear.

"I hope you don't mean me," Carma-Carla-Carmello growled.

"You keep your hands off Q! I don't want to see you near her ever again. You won't touch her. You won't talk to her. Hell, I don't even want you to look at her. Are we clear?"

"Who are you? Her girlfriend? You're not her keeper. She likes me."

"She's drunk, you stupid bitch. She doesn't know what she likes. I bet she doesn't even know your name…in fact, I bet she doesn't even know her own name," Santana spat.

"Her name is Quinn and she wanted to go home with me until you so rudely interrupted and passed her off to your midget friend. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to give her my number."

Triple C tried to make a grab for Quinn's hand as the blonde was cradled against Rachel's shoulder with the shorter girl's arm wrapped around her middle.

"Are you deaf? Stay away from her. She doesn't want your number," Rachel spoke up.

Quinn slumped onto Brittany's shoulder as the tiny diva placed herself protectively in front of both blondes right next to Santana.

"How old are you? Twelve? Back off, little girl," Triple C laughed.

"How old are you? Fifty? Back off, Pedophile. If we're twelve, that makes

her jailbait. So unless you leave her alone, these twelve year olds are going to kick your ancient ass and then have you sent to prison for rape and assault charges," Rachel threatened.

Her angry voice was sexy.

"Angry…sexy," Quinn muttered.

Her head bounced with Brittany's sudden light laughter as Quinn leant on her a little more.

"Shut," Quinn forced out.

"It's cute, Q" Brittany giggled.

"Excuse me!" Triple C lady roared.

Quinn heard a loud smack followed by a stool falling over. Then there were a couple of grunts and a few pants. Quinn's eyes couldn't quite follow the action.

"Santana," Brittany called out, anxiously.

"Rachel," Quinn squeaked, as well.

The Latina landed a few good punches. Triple C bent over after a particularly hard punch to the stomach. The following of the stool and grunting caught the attention of several other patrons who pulled the Latina off the older woman. Rachel had stayed on the outskirts of the action till the very end. As two guys helped the older woman stand back up, Rachel calmly approached her and slapped her across the face. Santana laughed loudly as the two men holding her pulled her back from the action a little more. Triple C lunged toward Rachel but the men held her firm. The diva stuttered back quickly in fear before the two men drug the angry woman outside. Rachel then turned to the men holding Santana.

"I do believe this altercation is over. Thank you for your kind assistance but it is no longer needed as we will be leaving shortly and that woman isn't likely to come in our vicinity again," Rachel smiled politely.

The two released Santana who merely smirked before fist bumping with the tiny diva.

"And that takes care of that. I do not like that bitch. Now let's get you girls home," Santana huffed, rejoining the group.

"Home," Quinn repeated.

Luckily, Triple C had vanished before they finally made it out of the club with a strict warming from Brandi, the bartender, to keep it clean next time and no more fighting in her bar. The car ride was fuzzy to say the least. Quinn wasn't sure how they got up the stairs either. She thought that maybe Santana had carried her. It was like she just magically appeared on her bed. Quinn thought maybe she floated there. Maybe when she was drunk she could fly. Why would Santana carry Quinn? It wouldn't make any sense. She was supposed to be a huge bitch. Not being friendly to Quinn and carrying her.

"Thanks for helping," Rachel said sounding nervous.

"No problem. You're not that bad, Berry. Besides, it was the least I could do after…well after everything. And Quinn? She's a really cool girl. She's nice ya know. Good match," Santana replied.

"Oh, we're not…I mean she's not even sure she's…it's not like that."

"Rachel," Quinn whined from her bed where the room was spinning.

Quinn didn't want her near Santana. She didn't trust Santana. If Quinn wasn't so drunk then maybe she could protect Rachel, but not like this. She couldn't help so she wanted to keep Rachel right beside her where she knew the other girl was safe.

"I'm here, Quinn. I haven't gone anywhere. You're gonna be fine," Rachel assured, softly tracing Quinn's cheek with her hand.

"Are you sure it's not like that?" Santana asked, giggling.

"You should see them, S. They're so cute. If Quinn could make up her mind about everything, she and Rachel would be the perfect couple," Brittany squealed.

"We're not. I don't…she's my friend," Rachel protested.

"They're cute," Brittany giggled.

"You're gonna make me vomit, B. I don't want to know about Berry's love life," Santana groaned.

"She's my friend," Rachel insisted.

"And Rachel's my friend. Be nice."

"Sorry," Santana muttered. "This is going to take some getting used to. I'm a creature of habit, but I'm trying."

"Thank you for helping tonight, Santana," Rachel smiled.

"Yeah well you held your own with that slap. Granted, she had her arms tied and it was kind of a bitch move…but it was still pretty badass. You're alright, Berry."

"Thank you."

There was a heavy silence in the room. Quinn was pretty sure her stellar alcohol regurgitating skills would fill the void in any second. She was fighting it though. She needed to see how this conversation was going to end. Stupid Santana wanted stupid Brittany again and was trying to be stupid Rachel's hero. Well she couldn't have her. She was Quinn's stupid Rachel. Stupid Santana could have stupid Brittany but stupid Rachel was Quinn's. Stupid Santana could go to Hell if she wanted to be a hero after that night. Quinn was going to be the only hero stupid Rachel needed.

"Hell," Quinn mumbled without thinking.

The other three erupted into light chuckles.

"I can see you're night is going to be pretty well occupied. I'll see you around, Berry," Santana laughed. "Do you need anything else? I mean I know I treated you like shit in the past but I'm hoping if B will let me…well I'd really like to make it up to both of you…so if you and Quinn need anything let me know."

"I can handle it from here. But thanks," Rachel sighed as Santana walked to the door.

"Are you sure?" Brittany questioned.

Rachel looked at the drunken blonde who was close to passing out and nodded.

"Call me if you need me," Brittany order, before kissing Rachel on the cheek.

"Thanks but I think your night is going to be pretty well occupied, too," Rachel said, gesturing to the Latina waiting by the door.

"I know you think I'm probably being stupid. She really hurt me and I'm just forgiving her the second she came crawling back…but she told her mom. That's huge. Her mom was the only reason we didn't date before and if she really told her…I love her, Rach. I love her so much and she loves me."

"No, I get it. Just be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I'll be careful," Brittany promised, before heading out with the Latina.

Quinn heard the door shut and Rachel lock it, then a few seconds later Quinn felt the shift in her bed as Rachel sat down.

"What were you thinking, Quinn?" Rachel asked softly. "If Santana hadn't been there. I tried to get that girl off you…I'm tiny, Quinn. I can't fight well. I deliver a powerful slap when necessary but I'm not good with violence. What were you thinking?"

"Stupid Quinn and stupid Rachel," Quinn replied.

"Yes, stupid Quinn and stupid Rachel."

The brunette got up but Quinn grabbed her arm quickly. Too quickly for the blonde's drunken body as her head started spinning again.

"Stay," Quinn whispered.

"Just let me get you a trashcan, in case we need it later," Rachel replied, suddenly sounding exhausted.

A few minutes later after some rustling of the trashcan, bumping of drawers being opened and closed, and eventual swishing of Rachel changing clothes, Quinn felt her crawl back into the blonde's bed beside her.

"Do you want me to help you change?" Rachel asked, gently running her fingertips up and down Quinn's arm in a way that soothed her drunken mind.

"'M good," Quinn managed to get out.

Rachel chuckled softly into the darkness and wrapped her arm around the taller girl's waist.

"Good night, Quinn. I'm glad you didn't go home with that girl. You're too special for someone like her."

Quinn grunted in response. The blonde was vaguely aware of rolling toward her and snuggling into her warmth before sleep took over.

_AN: So Santana is officially back into our girls' lives and I hope I redeemed her a little. She's just so fun to write and I love what they've been doing with her on the show. Naya is hysterical and Santana is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters! The plus side of no new Glee episode this week was that I had time to write these two chapters. I'll keep working and writing so I can crank out a few more in the next couple of days. Plus it's a goal of mine to update ever Tuesday in honor of the show lol. Thanks for all your love my faithful readers! Keep reading and reviewing! Thank you, come again!_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 17**

Someone was knocking very loudly. Quinn didn't like it.

"Quinn, are you in there?" came a voice she could barely make out.

More loud knocking followed.

"Nobody's home," Quinn groaned and buried her head back into the nice, smooth neck.

Neck? There was a neck. Quinn was nestled in someone's neck.

She gasped and tried to move. She opened her eyes and was immediately blinded by the light peering in the window.

"Dear God, that's bright," Quinn moaned.

That's when she noticed the arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She was completely molded into another person. Upon closer inspection, she realized this other person was most definitely female since her breasts were pressing against Quinn's own. Also the blonde's legs were intertwined with the other woman's in a very…intimate way. Quinn could feel the other woman's thigh pressed right up against Quinn's…intimate parts.

Please, don't be a stranger.

Quinn vowed, if she pulled away and looked at the woman's face, it would not be some stranger's. If she turned around and looked to Rachel's bed, it would have to be empty. She didn't want Rachel to see her with a stranger, but she kept getting flashes of some woman grinding on her on the dance floor…and candy. There was something about candy.

"Quinn?" followed by more banging on the door.

Quinn's cuddle buddy grunted and pulled her in closer. Quinn prayed to God that the person on the other side of the door wasn't actually her mother.

"I think your parents are here," Rachel's gruff morning voice delighted the blonde.

Rachel was the epitome of everything sexy in that moment. Thank God, it was her. Now, how would Quinn get out of that situation? She would just move a little and maybe pry her body away from Rachel's to answer the door. Oh no way! Moving was a bad idea. Moving resulted in shifting, which resulted in touching, which resulted in…well, Quinn was not moving because when she moved Rachel's pajama shorts sort of rubbed Quinn's…intimate parts. Quinn tried to move the opposite way. She couldn't stop the moan that escaped with that particular move. There was more knocking on the door.

"Quinn, your parents," Rachel grunted and shifted into the taller girl.

Yes into Quinn. Rachel was definitely pressed against Quinn in a good way and Quinn- Wait. Oh shit! Quinn's parents were there! And the realization of that fact would dawn on Rachel in…one, two, three.

"Holy crap, Quinn. Your parents are here!" Rachel exclaimed, pulling away from the blonde.

They both blushed taking in their previous position. Quinn tried to sit up and grabbed her head in pain.

"Yeah, by the way, good job last night," Rachel rolled her eyes playfully.

That's when the shock hit the taller girl. Quinn was naked.

"I'm naked!" Quinn squeaked.

It seemed Rachel hadn't realized that either.

"You're naked!" Rachel echoed with wide eyes.

Quinn clutched the blanket to her as Rachel scrambled out of the bed.

"What the hell happened last night? Did we? Oh my God. I had sex with a girl for the first time and I don't even remember. I mean I knew we were like melded together but I couldn't really move because your thigh was on my…intimate parts. I mean, I just can't believe that we…and I can't even remember. I hope it was good. Was I good?" Quinn asked firing question after question.

"Quinn, we didn't. I-I-I was sober. I would know. We…we couldn't…why are you naked?" Rachel asked, bewildered.

"I don't know."

"In my defense, you were fully clothed last night. I'm still wearing my pj's so we definitely didn't do anything…but seriously, why are you naked?" Rachel started laughing.

"Quinn," Judy called out again.

"My parents are here," Quinn whimpered.

"Quinn, are you still in bed? It's 11:30. Quinn Elizabeth Fabray, you better be awake," Judy threatened.

"Ok, this is fine. This is not as bad as it looks. You're just in bed naked and I'm just…here. Okay. If your mom knows I'm a lesbian though then this is probably going to look pretty bad. I mean they already know my dads are gay and I'm sure that was a freak out moment cuz your dad looked like he might explode back then. So even if they don't know I'm a lesbian, this still might look bad. Not that it is bad. This is fine. This is better than fine. This is…you know what? I will take care of this. Yes, yes I will take care of this. So get dressed and finish packing up your stuff while I deal with your parents," Rachel instructed.

Thank God, Quinn had packed most of her things the night before while they got ready. Rachel threw a hoodie on over her tank top and pulled some sweatpants up over her booty-shorts. Seriously, could that girl be any hotter? She was like that special sneaky hot. She crossed to the door. She motioned to the stand by Quinn's bed where there was a glass of water and some Tylenol waiting for the blonde. Quinn smiled just before Rachel opened the door partially, not allowing the blonde's parents to see inside.

"Mrs. Fabray, it's so good to see you again," Rachel grinned.

"Hello, yes it's lovely to see you…um…" Judy faltered at Rachel's name.

"Rachel. Rachel Berry. We only met that one time. It's ok. When you came to get Quinn for Thanksgiving, I was noticeably absent. I was so busy studying. Who knew being a double major would take up so much time?" Rachel giggled.

"Yes, well is my daughter in?"

"Quinn? Oh actually, you just missed her."

"I did?"

"Yes, she went down to the dining hall to grab some breakfast. She was hoping to get back before you all got here to pack up the last few things. If you want, I can show you to the hall. Maybe we can catch her there or on the way," Rachel offered.

"Thank you but I'll just start taking some of her things to the car. I'm sure Russell has parked by now," Judy politely declined.

The door started to open wider and Quinn paused, mid-step as she threw a few more items into her suitcase. Rachel's hand flew out quickly and caught the door.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Fabray. My half of the room is a mess. I'd be embarrassed if you saw it like this. Let me call our friend Tina. I'm sure she'd love to accompany you to the dinning hall and I'll clean up my half of the room. I'd hate for you to think that I was total slob. Plus, I'd love to help carry Quinn's things to the car. I can start packing it while you get a nice tour of campus."

"That actually sounds lovely, Rachel. Thank you. Don't worry about the mess. I'm sure you're not a slob," Judy replied sounding cautious but also slightly impressed. Mrs. Fabray has assumed that a girl raised by two homosexuals would have no manners.

"Thank you, Mrs. Fabray. I'll call Tina and she'll meet you in the lobby. You have no idea how embarrassed I am to have to admit to having a messy room. Quinn is so immaculately clean and I'm sure she gets it from you. I'd just die if you actually saw how messy I can be after I've been studying for finals every night," Rachel said sweetly.

She was good. Quinn's mother bought it and Rachel shut the door, leaning against it with a heavy sigh.

"Wow. I'm impressed. No wonder you're a drama major," Quinn laughed.

"Shut up and get packing," Rachel rolled her eyes.

She took out her phone and Tina picked up on the third ring.

"Tina, I need a huge favor. Can you go downstairs and take Quinn's mom to the dinning hall. She's the blonde woman who is looking immaculately put together, wearing a white sweater. Make sure you take the long way…don't ask questions, just go…please, Tina…fine, don't do it for me, do it for Quinn…she'd do it for you…yes, fine. You can have the Hermia monologue for spring auditions…yes, if that will make us even…thank you, Tina. You're the best," Rachel grinned before shutting her phone.

"You really are good," Quinn giggled.

"Yes, I am. Now hurry up. We probably only have twenty minutes until your mom figures out you're not at breakfast and is back here banging on the door again. If we can get the car packed by then and distract your father, we can just tell your mom that you must have missed each other or something."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. You so owe me by the way. I had to give Tina one of my best monologues for the spring Shakespeare audition. You owe me big," Rachel grunted.

"I know I do. For this and for last night. You're the best," Quinn smiled.

Quinn crossed the room and kissed her cheek before Rachel even knew what happened. Quinn shot her another smile over her shoulder as she left the room with the first suitcase to meet her father. Rachel left still standing there in a daze with her hand to the cheek Quinn had kissed.

"Move it or lose it, Berry. We only have twenty minutes," Quinn giggled.

Rachel shook her head a couple of times and began tossing more of Quinn's things into the other suitcase.

Quinn was all packed and ready to go in record time. Well, not exactly ready to go. There was still the whole matter of her not actually wanting to leave at all. But she packed none the less.

"Oh before I forget, your friend Carmen insisted I give you her number," Rachel rolled her eyes, digging a folded piece of paper from her purse.

"Carmen?"

"Carma. Carla. Carmello," Rachel giggled.

"Oh triple C! I sort of…forgot…about her," Quinn mumbled, blushing.

"Yeah. Her name is actually Carmen. She's a grad student here. Twenty-four. Very easy. Nice pick, Quinn."

"Oh God. That is embarrassing."

"Yeah, she thinks you're twenty-two. She also thinks you're from Canada. Though I'm not really sure where she got that idea."

Rachel was clearly amused.

"Canada? I was such a mess," Quinn groaned.

"Just a little."

Quinn flopped back on her bed as Rachel sat down next to her.

"How bad was it?" Quinn asked, cringing.

"You don't want to know."

"That bad?"

"Quinn, she had her hand up your dress. She was all over you. She was trying to take you home. She had her hands all over you and as soon as I saw her go for the dress like that…she's lucky I didn't kill her," Rachel seethed. "I mean I'm tiny but she was lucky that Santana stepped in instead."

"I don't know what I was thinking."

"You weren't. I mean, yeah she was hot but seriously, Quinn…use your head a little. Huge slut. Really huge slut. But if that's what you're looking for then she'd be good. I'll give her that. She looked like she was more than experienced. And if you're looking to experiment and you want to enjoy it, I'm sure she's an expert…but you're so much better than that," Rachel fumbled.

"You tried to kill her, huh?"

"Well I verbally assaulted her when you two first started dancing. I tried to pull her off twice when she was getting handsy but one of us was a little on the petite side, so she didn't exactly listen to me," Rachel sighed.

"Rach," Quinn couldn't stop from putting her hand on the brunette's. "I'm really happy you tried. I know Santana technically stepped in, which I am surprisingly grateful for. But I know you wouldn't have let anything happen to me. You're good to me."

"Really?"

It was another moment. They both felt it. The sun shinning through the window bathing Quinn in it's light. She was so beautiful even without her makeup. Rachel's heart was racing as she took in the blonde angel before her. The sunlight creating almost a halo effect.

Quinn felt her heart pick up as well as she took in the dark eyed girl next to her. Rachel's hair was slightly messy from sleeping. She looked adorable in her pjs with her bright eyes smiling at Quinn. The blonde had never known anyone who had Rachel's ability to steal Quinn's breath from her lungs like that.

"Really," Quinn replied softly.

"Well you don't have to worry about her anymore. If you want to call her, you've got her number. If not, she won't bother you. She'll definitely leave you alone if Santana is around and I think she's going to be around us for a while now. She and Brittany were pretty content spending the entire night completely wrapped up in each other."

"I just hope Britt knows what she's doing," Quinn sighed.

"She does. She's smarter than most people give her credit for…and I have to say I never thought I'd be happy to have Santana Lopez around. But after my third attempt at removing that she-beast from you, I was glad Santana was there. However, I'm sure given enough time I could have proven annoying enough that the woman would have left you and found another target," Rachel beamed proudly.

"My protector," Quinn gushed.

"The world's best reluctant wing-woman."

"Come on, any wing-woman, reluctant or no, would've let me go home with her. Isn't that the point of a wing-woman?"

"Not when it comes to you. I could never let some girl take advantage of you…even if I thought that's what you wanted…I'd still have a hard time letting you go home with some other girl who just wanted you for sex," Rachel confessed, averting her gaze from Quinn's.

"See, you're my protector. I'd probably be lost without you," Quinn grinned, rubbing her thumb against the back of Rachel's hand before lacing their fingers together.

Rachel looked at her and suddenly the air changed between them. Quinn was leaving. She wouldn't see Rachel for weeks. Quinn needed to kiss her just one more time. The blonde had to make sure she wasn't going crazy. Maybe if she kissed Rachel again she'd know it wasn't just some fluke that made she obsess over the tiny girl every minute. Maybe if Quinn kissed her again, she would be able to get the singer off her mind over break. Or maybe if Quinn kissed her then she'd know it was worth it and she wouldn't let her narrow-minded family scare her away from the feelings she had developed. If Quinn kissed Rachel again then she'd know it was okay and nothing her parents said would take away from the progress she had made in discovering the real Quinn Fabray all semester…Quinn just needed to kiss her again before she left.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered, leaning in slightly.

"Yes," Quinn answered.

Rachel cradled Quinn's cheek with her other hand. This was it! Finally! Rachel began leaning in a little more. Quinn started to lean toward her a fraction of an inch as well.

"It's okay," Rachel assured.

So close!

"Where were you?" Judy questioned as soon as she stomped into the room.

Quinn froze immediately as Rachel flew up off the bed.

"Mrs. Fabray, you're back," Rachel squeaked, her voice abnormally high.

Judy looked around the room.

"Oh good, you're packed. Did you girls get everything down to the car?"

Quinn couldn't find her voice. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She had been so close to kissing Rachel!

"It's all packed and good to go," Rachel answered for the other girl, nodding her head incessantly.

"Are you alright?" Judy asked, eyeing Rachel's nervous behavior strangely.

"Never better. Great. Fantastic even."

Judy stared at her for another minute then turned to Quinn, "You ready to go? Your dad called and he and Sam have packed up Sam's things. We'll swing by his dorm, throw in his things, and be on our way."

"Yeah, I'm- um…I- uh…hmm…ready," Quinn stuttered.

Quinn headed to the door with Judy following behind closely. Quinn grabbed her purse and started to head out. Judy stopped at the door.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to your roommate?" Judy questioned, raising her eyebrow.

"Of course. I'm so stupid. I…right."

Quinn turned back into the room. Rachel was just standing in the middle of the room. She looked like somebody kicked her puppy. Rachel shrugged and smiled half-heartedly.

"I guess I'll see you when I see you," Rachel fought to keep the pretend smile on her face.

"I'll come over. Brittany said we can all do something for New Year's…I'll see you," Quinn promised, hugging Rachel tightly.

Quinn took a moment to memorize exactly how Rachel smelled. Her perfume still lingered from last before mixed with her shampoo and the smoke of the bar mixed with a scent that was uniquely Rachel. Rachel squeezed the taller girl to her. They both separated after a moment as if realizing they'd been hugging far longer than "friends" should. Rachel's eyes started to fill with tears.

"Hey, no sad eyes," Quinn bumped her shoulder playfully. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks. We'll hit the town. You can take me to all the Lima hot spots. We'll stay up late, watch movies, eat junk food…and talk about boys," Quinn added looking toward her mom.

"Sounds great," Rachel laughed.

"Quinn," Judy called.

"See ya around," Quinn winked.

Rachel nodded. Quinn felt the brunette's eyes on her all the way out the door. Rachel followed them and stood in the doorway watching them walk to the elevator. Quinn turned around in front of the elevator and waved. Rachel grinned and waved back. They didn't break eye contact until the elevator dinged and the doors slide open. Quinn nodded to Rachel and the brunette winked before Quinn stepped into the elevator and finally released the breath she had been holding.

"Nice girl. It's a shame about her home-life," Judy commented as they started going down.

"Yeah, well what can you do? Some people are just gay, I guess…but Rachel's…she's great. She's my best friend," Quinn said sincerely.

"I'm glad you've made good friends. Your father and I worried about you going to such a party school. I won't lie to you, Quinnie. Your father was very upset when we left you on that first day, especially after he found out about your roommate's…upbringing. We're both very glad you're found some good friends. That girl Tina was very polite. She said her father was a doctor and her mother a teacher. I also met your friend Mercedes. Her father is a dentist and her mom is in charge of her church's gospel choir. It's nice that you've found some friends who have good backgrounds at least…even if your roommate doesn't'. She's surprisingly well-mannered when you consider everything that girl must got through living in a house like that, " Judy ranted. "I have to say, I was almost slightly impressed with her.

"Me too, Mom. It's crazy how Rachel has been able to overcome so many things," Quinn replied, thinking of her friend's bravery in being who she is, being comfortable with her sexuality, putting up with the insults of bigots, and not letting her history with Shelby or her frequently absent fathers get in her way.

Judy merely nodded in response thinking only of Rachel overcoming the horrors of having gay parents.

"Rachel's actually really amazing, Mom," Quinn smiled, hoping her mother didn't catch the blush on the young girl's cheeks.

_AN: And I'm back. I've realized the constant updates are a little trickier than I hoped. My job has completely taken over my life...but I'm going to attempt to at least update every Tuesday. If Glee can do it, so can I. I hope you enjoy this chapter (only one this time instead of two, sorry). Hopefully I'll grab a little more time this week to update again but I make no promises. The only thing I will say is you can always expect a Tuesday update! Yay for Glee tonight, I definitely have a new found love of all things Santana related. However, Quinn is severly pissing me off. Oh well, next week looks promising! Can't wait for Regionals! Thanks for reading! Please review! All of your virtual candy feeds my soul. As always, thank you! And please come again!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"I'm going crazy. I don't know how I ever lived with my family before," Quinn whined.

"It's really weird to go home after you've been on your own. Like my dads weren't really around all the time in high school. They were always working. Daddy was constantly being called into the ER and Dad had psychiatric conferences and seminars as well as patient emergencies. I took care of myself in high school all the time. Now I'm home from college and they won't go away. They're constantly breathing down my neck. Oh, sweetheart, we missed you so much. It's wonderful to be home, but please let me breathe a little," Rachel lamented.

"I know! I've been taking care of myself for practically four months now. I did just fine without them. Sure, occasionally it would have been nice to have a home-cooked meal instead of pizza again, but I can totally fend for myself. I don't need my mother breathing down my neck every two seconds and I certainly don't need my father always asking if I've declared my major yet. I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't know what I want to be, but I know I don't want to be that. Frannie can take over my dad's practice and I'll be fine without it. But asking me about it every couple of minutes, isn't going to change my answer. I haven't declared a major in the five minutes between the last time you asked and this time. Just let me be and let me take care of myself for a bit."

"Exactly! Daddy thinks I'm incapable of making my own dinner. I'm Vegan. I don't want noodle kugel if you're making it with eggs! I don't eat eggs, Daddy! I don't know which is worse, Daddy complaining that I'm too thin now or Dad complaining that all I eat is junk. You're a parenting team. Please consult each other and make up your minds. Pick the actual issue you'd like to work on and we can go from there," Rachel ranted.

Quinn laughed at Rachel's ranting and raving. The small girl could be so cute when she was frustrated.

"At least Noah's mother is nice. She made me dinner twice last week making sure it was all Vegan friendly," Rachel sighed.

"You had dinner at Puck's?" Quinn asked curiously, her throat tightening.

"Yes, well there are very few places my fathers will allow me to go in town after Noah spilled the beans on my drunken exploits from this past semester. There are also very few places I'm actually welcome…but I'm sure it's been nice for you to be home and see all your friends again," Rachel sounded almost hopeful at the thought of Quinn's old popularity.

"I guess…it's weird. I just…" Quinn trailed off.

"What?"

"I don't really fit in with my old friends anymore. I hung out with Sam and he's okay but I guess I just realized why we didn't hang out that much all semester. He and I are different people. He's still very much the captain of the football team kind of guy…I'm just not that girl anymore."

"Do you miss it?" Rachel asked, softly.

Quinn thought about it for a moment. She had power in high school. She walked down the halls and people parted for her like the red sea. She could snap her fingers and somebody would rush off to do her will. At the same time though, it always felt like all of her friends were just waiting for her to screw up. They were waiting for the chance to dethrone the queen. She certainly didn't miss the pressure that came with it, always trying to be perfect. It was a relief to have friends who she could laugh with. The power was nice, but maybe that was simply because she hadn't known any other way to get by in high school.

"Not really. I mean, sometimes, I miss the little thrill of it. I hated being mean. It wasn't like tearing someone else down made me feel better. It was just expected, part of the job. I certainly don't miss that part…but being looked at. Having people look to you to see what you would do? There was definitely pressure but I liked being noticed, being seen…still, I think I like actually being cared about by my friends more than just being seen by everyone," Quinn explained.

"Oh…that makes sense."

"You're lucky, Rach. At least you have friends in Lima. You can have dinner with Puck. You can hang with Brittany or Artie. I'm just stuck here with Sam as my only link to everybody I care about, and he wasn't really around that much. It sucks."

"Well you're not missing much here. My fathers won't let me do anything. I can have dinner at Noah's but I can't go out with Brittany and Santana. I understand that a bar in Lima is an entirely different environment than a college bar. There are plenty of perverted older mean who are most likely missing some teeth or at any rate have full blown mustaches that look like a cross between Burt Reynolds and a child molester, but still it would be nice if my fathers trusted my own sense of judgment. I'm not completely incapable of social interactions," Rachel groaned.

"Burt Reynolds? Sounds like a bar I'm definitely missing out on," Quinn giggled.

"Ok, I know it's not very appealing but it's simply the principle of the matter. They don't trust me. I can't go out to a bar tonight with Brittany? Fine! I'll go next week when they both go back to work. Oh, even better! I'll just have a huge party next weekend when they go away on their 'romantic holiday after that holidays' trip."

"If your fathers are leaving you in their house unattended for a weekend, I'm guessing they might trust you a little bit, but just don't want you to go to a bar," Quinn teased.

"That is not the point. The point is I'm sick of them treating me as if I'm a child. I can make my own decisions. I am an adult now. So to punish them, I will act like a child. I'm going to have a party while they're gone and I'll invite a bunch of hookers...and strippers…and a whole bunch of horny teenagers who can fornicate in their bed and urinate all over the house. I mean, if it's still their house and still their rules and I'm their little girl, even though I'm almost nineteen years old, then they can deal with it when all of my friends get inebriated and vomit everywhere," Rachel was on a roll.

"I better be invited, that's all I'm gonna say," Quinn roared with laughter.

"Of course. You get your pick of the best hooker and the best stripper. Top pick of liquor as well. I expect you to be the first to arrive to take advantage of my fathers' absence. I'll even let you have their bed first should you choose to fornicate with some random stranger. Take your pick of whomever you want at the party and you can have my parents' room. Then if you get sick- cuz let's face it, Quinn, you and I don't hold our liquor well- well then you get to vomit in any room of your choice…except mine…unless you are in my bathroom or use a trashcan. That's how much I value our friendship. I'm willing to give you full rights to help me tarnish my good name and forever ruin my fathers' vision of their darling baby girl who is too precious to go to a bar but not too precious to stay at home alone while they go off gallivanting in some resort along Lake Erie. Not trusting me to go to a bar in town, but leaving me to my own devices for an entire weekend? We'll see who's laughing at the end of it all," Rachel kept up with her ridiculous diatribe.

Quinn rolled her eyes, barely suppressing the unlady-like snort that kept threatening to come out with her giggles.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Quinn Elizabeth Fabray. I know you were. Don't deny it," Rachel chuckled.

"You know me so well," the blonde replied.

"So seriously, when are you gonna come stay with me? New Year's is coming. When are you coming?" Rachel asked, losing the joking tone.

"Whenever you want me."

At Rachel's quick intake of breath, the blonde realized how that sounded.

"You know what I mean," Quinn laughed, quickly amended her statement.

"How about Monday?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Christmas is Thursday. So then Friday you recover from Christmas and you still have the weekend to be with your family but then you get to come celebrate with me. We're Jewish so you won't be crashing our holiday plans. You can stay till New Year's if you want. Now I know my fathers will be gone for a couple days at the beginning of next week, but I'm not actually planning on having a party at my place. I only know of three people in town who would even come. We could have our own party though. Pajamas, popcorn, and Funny Girl. Then you'd be here for New Year's at Brittany's as well," Rachel suggested.

"That'd be really great actually. I'll ask my mom," Quinn practically squealed.

"Awesome…I really miss you, Quinn," the brunette confessed bashfully.

"I really miss you, too, Rach."

"I guess I better let you get your beauty sleep. We both know how much you need it."

"Please. We both know you're the one who needs it the most," Quinn teased.

"When you're in the room, I do. Can't compete with you."

Rachel immediately wondered if she took it too far. It was supposed to be a joke, part of their little battles of wits. Somehow, it wasn't a joke anymore. Quinn blushed and suddenly forgetting any quick-witted reply she had waiting to keep up the game. Both girls were silent for the longest second of Rachel's life.

"Good night, Rachel. Get some sleep."

"Ask your parents about our plans. Don't forget. When I call you tomorrow night, I expect good news," Rachel grinned, wagging her finger at Quinn as if lecturing her through the phone.

Quinn smiled even though she knew Rachel couldn't see her, "I will. Don't worry. Good night, Rachel."

"Good night, Quinn."

Rachel held the phone up to her ear until she was sure the blonde had hung up. She keep it in her hands, getting lost in thought before the operator cane on to remind her she still hadn't hung up. It was official: Rachel Berry had it bad.

Okay Quinn needed to phrase this perfectly and present it as a great opportunity for her to get out and meet new people as well as see her old friends. She could do this. She could sell her mother on this idea. She had to. She had to because she couldn't stay there for another week. If she could convince her mother to let her stay at Rachel's, then maybe together they could convince her dad.

Judy was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She always made it known to Quinn that even though the young blonde wasn't a great cook, she should at least attempt to learn. It was the wife's duty to make a great meal for her husband.

"Mom," Quinn said softly, not wanting to scare the woman who was hard at work.

Her mother still jumped as if she had just ran up behind her and yelled 'BOO!'

"Quinn, you scared me. I didn't hear you come in."

"Sorry."

"What's going on honey?" Judy asked.

"Just seeing what you were doing. My room gets boring after a while," Quinn answered.

It was true, her room did get pretty boring after countless hours sitting there wishing she was anywhere else…wishing she was in a small town called Lima.

"You could always join your dad for the day. I know he would love to have you come in to his practice and see how it all works," Judy practically squealed in delight at the thought.

"It's fine. My room's not that boring."

Judy laughed lightly, "It was just a suggestion. I'm not trying to force you into Law School, Quinn."

"Speaking of school…I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed at my roommates for a couple days…like maybe sometime soon between holidays…or maybe for New Year's Eve?"

"Your roommate's house? I don't know, Quinn. With her fathers and the kinds of things that likely go down in a place like that," Judy started.

"Her fathers wouldn't necessarily have to be there. They're not around a lot," Quinn offered.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? Lack of parental supervision?" Judy quirked an eyebrow, showing exactly where her daughter got that particular trick.

"I know you don't agree with some aspects of Rachel's family and upbringing," Quinn began again.

"Some aspects of her family? Her family is two men, Quinn. That's not a family quirk, it's a sin."

Quinn fought hard to contain the eye roll that she so desperately wanted to give her mother as well as a few choice words.

"Ok well don't think of it like that. On Full House, they essentially had three dads and no one frowned upon that," Quinn shrugged.

"Quinnie, be serious. You cannot be asking me to stay at that house. I know she's your roommate but I simply cannot approve of her parents' lifestyle. Besides, Sam mentioned some things about this Rachel girl and I'm just not sure that it's a great idea. I understand that as roommates you can't really control the things she does…or who she does them with…but I think it's better if you spend time with your other friends a little more while you're home instead of running off to a different town to spend time with that girl," Judy explained carefully.

That girl? This Rachel girl? Who she does things with? Was Quinn's mother actually insinuating what Quinn thought she was trying to say?

"What other friends? My friends here are different. They're so…things are just different. My friends from school all live near Rachel. It's not like I'd be going just to hang out with her. Everybody is there…what exactly did Sam say about her?" Quinn asked, barely concealing her anger.

"It doesn't matter, sweetie."

"If it doesn't matter, then it shouldn't matter concerning my friendship with Rachel or my plans to stay at her house," the young girl countered.

"Honey," Judy started.

"Whatever Sam told you probably isn't true. People loved to gossip about Rachel at her old school like she was a minor celebrity. There were tons of rumors flying around about her but I can assure you that Rachel is an incredibly sweet and thoughtful person. She's not some wild child, drug addict's daughter or just the byproduct of adoption and homosexuality. I mean technically she is but that's not _who_ she is. If you really knew her, Mom-," Quinn tried to explain.

"Sweetie, I just don't approval of her or her parents'…lifestyle."

"Her lifestyle? I know you don't agree with her dads but Rachel's a good person. She doesn't party. She doesn't drink. She doesn't smoke. She doesn't do drugs. She's not out with a different g-person every night. Usually she's with me and Brittany and Puck. Besides, they'll all be there for me to hang out with too. Like I said, most of my friends will be there. Puck lives like right down the street. Brittany and Artie live in town. Tina lives in the next town-," Quinn continued but her mom cut her off.

"Puck? Puck as in Noah? Isn't that the boy you were dating? Is that what this is really about?"

She sounded almost pleased. In fact, Judy was practically beaming.

"What? No. I wasn't dating him. I just…no, Mom…I-I want to see all of my friends and Rachel said I could stay with her."

"Where will you be staying?" Judy asked after a moment.

What the hell kind of question was that?

"What do you mean, where will I be staying? At Rachel's house."

"Does she have enough room for you? Do they have a guest room? Are you supposed to sleep in her room? Where will you be staying?"

"What did Sam say to you?" Quinn questioned slowly.

Judy wouldn't look at her. It was all falling into place.

"Mother…what did he say…exactly?"

Finally Judy turned to look at her daughter.

"Samuel said she told him she was…a lesbian," Judy almost whispered the last word as if saying it out loud could turn a person into one.

"Seriously? That's why you're freaking out?" Quinn was outraged.

Quinn knew it! She knew Judy was being all weird because of that! Quinn was going to kill Sam Evans!

"Quinn, I told you I just can't approval of that lifestyle."

"So it's not about drinking and drugs and being unsupervised while her dads are away. You're worried because my roommate is a lesbian. News flash, Mom, I've been living with her for months. If something was going to happen, it would've already happened by now. But you'll be happy to know Rachel's never tried anything with me," Quinn gave Judy her best glare.

"Goodness gracious, Quinn. I wasn't implying anything of that nature. I know if that were the case, you would've requested a room change. I just don't think it's a good idea. If you're forced to spend time with her at school, why do you need to spend time with her now?"

"Because she's my friend! She's my best friend! They're all my friends and I miss all of them. I spend every day with them. Not just Rachel….no, you know what, especially Rachel. She is my best friend. I don't care what kind of _lifestyle _she leads or if she has two dads who 'live in sin' or whatever. She's my best friend."

"You're not going to her house, Quinn. That's final," Judy declared, turning her back on me and back to her cooking.

"That's great, Mom. That's just great. Judge her when you don't even know her. Really big of you. Very Christian. What's that saying? Let he without sin cast the first stone."

"Don't quote the Bible to me! What is there to know about her? What is there to know about them, Quinn? God doesn't-," Judy started in again.

"God doesn't care who you love as long as you're loving someone instead of hating each other and killing each other. I'm sure he has way more important things to worry about…besides, Sam is full of shit," Quinn spat before she could stop herself.

"Language!"

"Well what do you want me to say? Sam doesn't know the first thing about Rachel."

"Like?" Judy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Like the fact that she's a very talented actress…or she's an incredible singer…or so I've heard. And she's a great person. She's funny. She's smart. She's loyal. She's polite. She reads books. She writes songs. She writes poetry. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met. She's forgiving to a fault. She's good at practically everything she sets her mind to. She's generous. She's well spoken. She's a diva at times but really quite vulnerable. Plus she's straight," tumbled out of her mouth.

What did she just say?

"What?"

Apparently Judy was as bewildered as Quinn. Screw it. If it meant she got to stay at Rachel's, then screw it. If it meant Judy would get off her back, then she'd lie. Sam was going to die and Quinn would continue to live next semester with Rachel without any issues from her stupid mother.

"She's straight, Mom. She only told Sam she was a lesbian to get him to leave her alone. She's just gone with it ever since because it keeps him off her back. She used to date this guy Finn who is the backup quarterback on the football team. So I mean that's kind of a big deal, I guess. Plus, she and Puck have this like thing between them or whatever."

"Wait the same Puck you were dating?" Judy blinked rapidly.

"I wasn't…yes, the same one."

"Isn't that awkward?"

"No. They dated in high school. Then she dated Finn but she and Puck were still friends. And now they're like whatever. They're Rachel and Puck," Quinn answered, at least that much was the truth.

"I don't know, Quinn. I still think it's best with everything with her parenting that-," Judy started in again.

"They won't even be there. If it helps you sleep at night, I'll stay at Brittany's. She has a mom and dad. So no worries her parents are straight," Quinn scoffed.

"Brittany's?"

"Yeah. I'll just ask if I can stay there instead. Rachel knows that it's not easy for you and Dad…a lot of people aren't completely comfortable with her parents so I'm sure she'd understand," Quinn explained then muttered under her breath, "understand that it's complete crap."

"So you'd still be hanging out with her but staying at this Brittany girl's place?"

"Mom, I live with her. I'm not going to catch the gay or something," Quinn growled.

"I know that, Quinn. I wasn't suggesting that you would ever- nevermind…so what did you girls have planned for New Year's Eve?"

Of course her mother was now reconsidering everything since Brittany's place was an option. Great, Quinn's own mother was without a doubt, a narrow-minded bigot. That should make life interesting if Quinn ever decided to come out.

"I guess hang out with Brittany, Puck, Artie, and some of their other friends from home. Tina lives like fifteen minutes away and Mercedes is about thirty minutes in the other direction. Maybe they'd come hang out, too. Last time I talked to Brittany she mentioned that she or Santana would have a New Year's party. So I guess Santana will also be hanging around while I'm there, but whatever."

That was also true.

"Will this Santana's parents be there?" Judy drilled.

"Of course."

That was not as true as some of the previous statements. While Brittany had told Quinn all about her mending relationship with the Latina, it was clear that Santana's parents, who knew about the two dating, weren't totally supportive. They hadn't kicked her out but things were tense. She'd been mainly staying at Brittany's most nights. Apparently, Santana's mother was trying to be supportive but her father wasn't really speaking to her. At least it proved to Brittany that the Latina was serious about their relationship this time around. She was sacrificing a lot to be with the girl she loved. It kind of made Quinn wonder just how much she would be willing to sacrifice in her own life if it ever came down to that.

"Well…I'll think about it," Judy finally relented a little.

"Thank you. That's all I really wanted was for you to just give it some thought. I promise I won't be drinking and doing drugs and misbehaving. Probably just a small party with some of my friends from school and maybe, small chance, a couple of their friends. Then we'll end up just having a girls night and talking about boys the entire time," Quinn smiled while groaning internally.

"I'll think about it."

"Thanks, Mom."

"And if we could avoid the whole arguing about staying at Rachel's part when we talk to Dad," Quinn grimaced.

"I understand that she is your friend but you have to understand where I'm coming from as your mother."

"I do, Mom. I get it."

Quinn got that her mother was a bigot. She totally got that. No worries.

"But you'd stay at Brittany's?"

"Yes. I would stay with Brittany. I only originally asked about Rachel's because she was the one who invited me, but I'll talk to Brittany. She actually asked me to stay with her while we were still at school. It's probably a better fit for me to stay there anyway," Quinn lied.

"Well then…the Rachel ordeal will be our little secret," Judy smiled slightly, before winking. "See, Quinnie, I can be reasonable. I'm still the cool mom who helped you sneak around your father to hang out with Sam when you were dating."

Quinn fought so hard to keep from rolling her eyes, "Yeah, Mom. You always have my back."

Judy beamed and kissed her daughter on the forehead, before turning back to her cooking.

_AN: Alright don't kill me. I'm not completely in love with this chapter but there's a little drama going on before it's back to the fluffy goodness. I have to show more of Quinn's upbringing for all of this to make sense. With Christmas break, I want to use it as an opportunity to give everybody a glimpse into the home lives of our girls and why it's not exactly easy for either one of them to just say 'hey I wanna date you'...besides, if it were that easy, this story would be over in like two more chapters instead of the story that I have planned out (seriously I wrote an outline on a napkin at work that took up both sides of the napkin). But have no fear, I don't intend to keep all of us in some weird limbo game of 'will they, won't they' for like 10 zillion chapters. I don't have the skills to keep that up and keep it interesting. I guess that's why nobody hired me to write for the Ross and Rachel storyline on Friends...actually nobody's hired me to write anything other than a musical once upon a time. Needless to say, I'm rambling worse than Rachel Berry but I wanted to assure all of you that I have it all mapped out finally and this story will be going places soon. Hang in there...chapter 24 will be awesome! Just kidding, I haven't written that far yet. But hopefully you'll stick with me through the upcoming drama. I promise it will be worth it! As always, thank for reading! Please review! Thank you, come again!_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"So your dad said it was okay?" Rachel asked, excitedly.

"Yeah. It took some convincing…okay, a lot of convincing and if anyone asks there will be parental supervision the entire time. I know it's not what we originally planned but I'm coming now for sure, I'm staying with Brittany, and you're dating Puck," Quinn replied, rushing through the last part as fast as she could, hoping Rachel wouldn't catch it.

"Wait! What? I'm dating Puck?"

"Yes," Quinn squeaked.

"Oookay…why am I suddenly dating Noah?" Rachel asked slowly.

"Because my stupid ex-boyfriend told my stupid mother that you like girls and she flipped."

"Quinn, I don't mean to burst your happy little Brady Bunch bubble but…what about you? You think that you might like girls. Don't you think that could be a potential problem?" Rachel questioned cautiously.

"I know that, Rach. I'll cross that bridge when I get there, I guess."

Suddenly Quinn's bedroom door flew open.

"You told Mom Rachel was straight?" Frannie fired with Sam trailing behind.

"Hey, Rach, can I call you back? My bitchface sister is here with my asshat ex-boyfriend/ex-friend and I need to kill them," Quinn said sweetly into the phone.

Rachel laughed and told Quinn to be careful because she didn't want to see the blonde in jail. Quinn glared at Sam as she hung up the phone. The boy cowered slightly behind Quinn's older sister.

"You told everyone that Rachel was gay?" Quinn growled at Sam.

"She is."

"For your information, it doesn't matter what Rachel is or isn't. You had my mom completely freaking out."

"I didn't mean to. It just slipped out. Me and Fran were talking and your mom was in the other room-," Sam started to explain.

"How do you think I feel, Quinn? Sam told me some of the stories that a few of the cheerleaders told him about that girl and you're living with her. One girl even said some kids saw you at a gay bar with her. Then you want to spend New Year's Eve at her place? Why? So you guys can kiss at midnight? All you've done is sit in your room and talk to Rachel on the phone. You shouldn't hang out with people like her. I'm worried about you," Frannie ranted.

"Why would you even open your big mouth? This is what happens when dumbass over here gets involved," Quinn glared at Sam while indicating that her sister was the dumbass.

"We had plans, Quinn. We were gonna go to Bobby Failer's for New Year's. You haven't even seen half of our friends and then you're just gonna blow me off for Rachel. You hung out with her all semester. You never have time to hang out with me," Sam whined.

"Because you hang out with stupid jocks."

"Puck's a stupid jock," Sam retorted, puffing up a little in his jealousy.

"Yeah but I don't spend most of my time with Puck. Plus he doesn't act like that when he's with me and Rachel."

"You used to be a totally different, Quinn. It's like you don't want to hang out with me anymore," Sam pouted.

"That's because I don't. You hang out with guys like Finn who made fun of Rachel in school. You hang out with cheerleaders who parade around like sluts and act like they're better than everyone," Quinn scoffed.

"We're worried about you," Frannie chimed in.

"Screw you, Frannie. You're not worried about me. You're just happy to have another reason to be the golden child while I'm the screw up. And Sam? Would you feel better if I was a huge slut like most of those cheerleaders? If we hung out all the time with the same type of kids we hung out with in high school? Would that make you feel better to know that I'm hanging out with girls who probably have multiple diseases? But hey at least they're straight!"

"Are you listening to yourself? Rachel is a slut. She's a huge lesbian slut," Frannie retorted.

"Oh please, Rachel is the least slutty human being I've ever met. She's practically a virgin," Quinn spat.

"Santana said-," Sam started in.

"Santana is a slut. She's the one who slept with Rachel's boyfriend in high school. Did she tell you that? Did your best friend Finn tell you how he ditched Rachel and slept with Santana who was her best friend all in the same night? Did he also tell you why Santana broke up with him? Cuz that's an excellent case of the pot calling the kettle black."

"You don't even know Finn to attack him like that. Plus he's the one who told me Rachel was a slut. Did Rachel tell you she slept with Puck? Yeah, your BFF slept with your guy, I think that makes her a slut," Sam argued.

"First, Puck's not my guy and he and Rachel made a mistake once. Second, if Rachel is a slut for making that mistake, which she's not, it's your best buddy Finn who made her that way," Quinn hissed.

"You can't make someone a slut, Quinn. Rachel goes through women because Rachel wants to go through women," Frannie jumped back in again.

"Shut up, Frannie. You have no idea what you're talking about. You don't even know Rachel."

"If this Finn guy slept with Santana, or whatever her name is, while he was with Rachel, it doesn't mean she has a right to act like a slut. And it's not like they turned her gay. You can't blame that part on them. If she's a carpet muncher, it's not Sam's friend's fault," Frannie countered.

"No shit, Sherlock. You can't turn someone gay." Quinn sighed.

"I know that," Frannie grunted, rolling her eyes.

"Then what are you guys so worried about? You can't turn someone gay, Frannie. Hanging out with Rachel won't turn me gay. Going to a gay bar with Rachel doesn't mean I'm going to go home with some girl. Puck goes to the gay bar with Rachel. Tina goes to the gay bar with Rachel. Artie has gone to the gay bar with Rachel. We've all gone together. Rachel can't turn me gay. I either am gay or I'm not. It would have nothing to do with Rachel either way. So what are you so worried about? Why attack Rachel?" Quinn challenged.

Go ahead, asshats. Try to argue with that. Maybe Quinn didn't technically say that she might actually be gay after all. But it's not like Rachel made her that way. Maybe, Rachel was the very reason that the blonde began questioning everything but looking back on her entire life, even in that moment, Quinn knew that deep down inside she'd been wondering about it for a long time.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," Sam replied after a moment.

Not the response Quinn had been expecting.

"Wait is this Rachel girl gay or not?" Frannie asked.

"She's not a lesbian, Frannie. I'm not either. Can you go away now?" Quinn groaned.

"Whatever. You still suck," Frannie rolled her eyes and left.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Quinn asked the boy who was standing nervously in her bedroom.

Sam had only ever been in Quinn Fabray's bedroom twice before. Once while they were dating. Frannie had nearly caught them in a somewhat compromising position. The other time was right after they broke up when she invited him over to return his class ring.

"I'm sorry. Your sister was asking me all of these questions about college and us and…we don't hang out anymore. I know we're not together. I know we're just friends but we've been friends for a long time, Quinn. You just disappeared. I used to see you every day. Then I didn't and I guess…I guess I just missed you…and when Frannie started asking all these questions, I just started talking. I told her about Puck, how I thought you guys had this weird thing for a while. I told her you had pretty much replaced me with him. I told her about Brittany. I told her how you were hanging out with all of these other people and you didn't have time for me. I kinda figured you hated my friends. I mean the one time I tried to talk to you when I was with Santana and Finn, you completely blew me off and glared at them like they were pure evil. But now she's like hanging out with you guys or whatever. So you'll be friends with Santana but you won't be friends with me? We just never talked about it. You ditched me and never gave me a reason why. Then there's Rachel and I don't know why I even said anything. I guess I forgot who I was even talking to. Sometimes you and Frannie are so much alike. It was like I finally got to say everything I've wanted to say all semester…I just said it to the wrong sister. And then your mom walked in and…gosh, Quinn, I'm really sorry," Sam explained, shrugging apologetically.

"Well, I don't like your friends. You're right about that. That's why I didn't hang out with you. Plus, you always had practice and…Puck made it a point to show up wherever I was. He had a practice but he was always hanging around our room with Rachel, exploring campus with me, whatever. So even if I was busy he was just there. It's not that I ignored you to hang out with him. He was just always around. I didn't have to make an effort to hang out with him; he was just there. And he didn't force his jock friends on me. You weren't being replaced by Puck, though. I'm sorry if that's how you felt. Not that it really matters, but just to be clear, he and I never actually had a thing," Quinn reasoned.

"I know. I know that now. Things kinda became clearer as the semester went on. I figured if you were actually into him, you would've been dating already. And I'm sorry I said anything bad about Rachel to your sister."

Neither really knew what to say as Sam stood awkwardly in near Quinn's doorway and Quinn picked at a string on her comforter while she sat on her bed.

"Just be careful, Q. I know you're a strong girl, woman, you know what I mean. I know you can take care of yourself and you kind of have this like power over people or something…but not everybody will bow down ya know. I mean you're strong enough to get through anything, but that doesn't mean you can't get hurt."

"What are you talking about?" Quinn asked, barely finding her voice.

"Quinn, I'm not an idiot. You spend all your time with Rachel. You're different with her. You've changed over the past couple of months but some things have always been there…no matter who you are now…or aren't…you're still my friend. You're still my…my Quinn…and I don't want to see you get hurt."

Quinn studied him for a moment while he seemed to struggle with whatever he was trying to say.

"Quinn, other people are going to care who you are or aren't. I may not care but everyone else won't be so easy going about things. Your parents aren't so easygoing. I don't want you to get hurt because you're associated with Rachel…and if it's more than association, I don't want you to get hurt because other people suck. After everything we've been through…well, I just don't want to see you get hurt…either way," Sam fumbled softly.

Wow. Definitely not what Quinn was expecting. He knew. He knew much more than she gave him credit for.

"You're a great guy, Sam. You really are. I appreciate that you're looking out for me but…people are always going to suck. If they're not mad about one thing, then somebody will find something else to tear you down about…and she's my best friend. No matter what, whether I'm…well the point is, Rachel's my best friend and the rest of that stuff won't change my opinion of her. I don't care what people think. I don't care about whatever associations they may make. I care about my best friend…and I would really appreciate it if you would talk to me before you run your mouth to my sister about things you don't understand," Quinn attempted to swallow even though her mouth was incredibly dry.

He took a minute and it was his turn to study her. Quinn wasn't sure what he was looking for or if he'd find it, whatever it may be.

"Okay," he finally replied.

"Okay?"

"Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I'm careful," Quinn nodded.

"I know we're not what we used to be, but a part of me will always love you, Q. I'm here for you no matter what. Maybe we did find different crowds to run with in college, but I'm still here for you. You're a strong enough person to get through anything…but if things get really bad, I mean your parents-I just…I'll be around if you need me. If you need anything, a shoulder to cry on, a place to stay, somebody to punch out your dad. I got your back," Sam promised.

"Thank you. I hope you won't have to punch out my father someday…but thank you," Quinn smiled.

She stood up and quickly threw herself at the boy, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. Quinn kissed his cheek as tears sprang to her eyes. She wouldn't cry though. She was just glad to know Sam would still be around. Her parents…she'd cross that bridge when she got to…if she ever got to it.

"I swear Rachel if this house is a mess when we get back, we're cutting you off for good," Rachel's Daddy teased.

Rachel rolled her eyes and kissed the man on the cheek.

"You have all our numbers on the fridge if you need anything. Mrs. Puckerman said you're welcome to stay with them if you decide that the house is too quiet or you get lonely before Quinn comes," Rachel's Dad fretted.

"Dad, I'll be fine. Brittany said I can stay at her house if I get lonely. Plus Quinn will be here the day after tomorrow. I'll be fine," Rachel assured.

"Please don't hesitate to call," Rachel's Daddy pleaded.

"Daddy, stop worrying. You and Dad will have a wonderful time. I'll be fine. The Puckermans will check in on me. Quinn will be here and maybe she'll end up staying with me. We'll stay at Brittany's one night, maybe even two. Her parents will be around. I'll be fine," Rachel promised.

Both men fussed over her for another moment before her phone started singing "If You Were Gay" from Avenue Q. She groaned and motioned to the door.

"It's Puck. I didn't realize he was playing with my ringtones again. I have to take this. See you in five days. I'll be fine. Now go. Enjoy yourselves," Rachel smiled before flipping open her phone.

"Is there a reason Finn Hudson just called me and asked me about us before freaking out on me?" Puck questioned.

"Oh my goodness. Word certainly travels fast."

"I just thought it was weird, Rach. I was doing my laundry and got a call from Finn of all people. That's weird to start with. Last time I checked, he hated me because I was friends with you. Then he starts asking me all these questions about Santana and Brittany being together and something about Quinn and Sam Evans. Then he asks me if you and I are back together or pretending to be cuz something about Quinn's mom thinks we're dating. Now imagine my surprise when I know that you're not only gay but I'm also pretty sure you're crushing on little Miss Fabray, yet somehow her mom seems to think that you're gay spell was just a phase and that you and I are in love or something," Puck said a little too lightly and jokingly to make it seem like he wasn't slightly angry.

"Ok before you get upset about everything, let me explain."

"Explain what? That I'm apparently a big enough idiot that I would date a lesbian? Because that's what Finn yelled right into my ear through the phone. And I'm pretty sure that Finn just accused me of being an even bigger idiot than he is. See, he somehow got it into his head that Quinn's mom thinks you and I are dating. So Finn had a lot of not so nice things to say to me. My former best friend who refused to talk to me for months has now called me to bitch me out for dating a lesbian. Now I hope that you wouldn't throw this all back on me as some kind of sick joke cuz the guy hates my guts enough as is. So I'm hoping there's a reason for this and you can shed some light on the situation," Puck ranted, even though he didn't seem totally pissed off just more confused than anything.

"It's not a joke. I didn't- I mean- it seems like I'm using you as my like big gay beard or whatever that term is, but it's not like that. It's not for me."

"So this is for Quinn? Right? It is for Quinn. Did you two plan this out or something?" Puck asked slowly.

"It wasn't exactly planned but we had to do something so she could come stay with me."

"Stay with you? Okay, Rach, we're not going to pretend this isn't happening anymore. You're going to level with me and be totally honest. You like her. You are head over heels, butt crazy in love with Quinn Fabray whose parents are about the least yay-gay people to ever grace the face of the earth. Be real with me. You like her. Just admit it. If I gotta go along with some little charade, you're gonna admit it to me and to yourself," Puck chuckled.

"Noah, I can fully explain this entire situation."

"Explanation not necessary. I have figured it all out myself, actually. You want me to pretend that we're dating so you can get your mack on with Quinn. So I'll bite. I can totally be on board with this plan as soon as you admit it. As soon as you say it out loud. I wanna hear this."

"Noah, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions without letting me provide you with an accurate explanation," Rachel tried to weasel her way around a confession.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Rach. I need two things right now. I need to know what's the plan and how are you repaying me for it? So first thing's first. The plan. Get drunk with her again? Sneak in your midnight kiss? I'm mean I'm all for girl on girl. I'm completely down with you macking on a hot blonde on New Year's. Hell, I'm way down to see some Santana and Brittany action again cuz I know I've been missing that since high school and they're all over each other again these days. But just riddle me this, Batman. Do you want to get it on with Quinn Fabray? Because I'm gonna have to make some demands concerning my part in all of this and the payment that I expect for my part. So we're putting all of the weird, me previously having feelings for Quinn, the fact that I slept with you once, and all that weird stuff; we're putting all of that aside, because that's gonna complicate shit and really we all just need to get drunk and get kinda freaky together. Now I'm not saying all of this to suggest a threesome. I'm just saying you gotta level with me and at least be honest about your feelings about the girl."

"Noah, you're rivaling me in your ability to go off on a tangent right now."

"Fine, be lame right now. Skipping on to phase two. What do I get out of this? See what's really going down here is that you need me. You need me to get to Quinn. Her mom now knows you're gay because Evans stepped in it big time. So now you need me, which means you both owe me in a sense. Stop me if I'm wrong, here, Rach, cuz I'm working up to something great."

"This wasn't my idea, Noah," Rachel said softly.

"No? Really? Cuz I mean you used to mastermind some pretty crazy ideas back in the days of glee. Crack houses and mash-ups and all kinds of freaky shit. But that doesn't really matter. I don't care which one of you came up with this idea, because I have a proposition. The important thing is my proposition and I'm willing to help as long as you can agree to said proposal."

"Oh no," the tiny brunette groaned.

"Oh yes. You need the Puckasauras Rex, the Puckzilla. The Guns. You need me to cover for you…so I'm gonna need a little something in return," Puck grinned.

"I'm afraid to even ask."

"I'm not asking for much. I'm not saying hey let's have a threesome. It's simple really. If you want Quinn, I get to watch. That's all I want. Just let me watch," Puck smirked.

"What! NO! This isn't about getting with Quinn! Yes, her mom found out about me. Yes, she freaked. But Quinn and I aren't even together like that. She doesn't know what she wants. She's not even sure she's into girls. I would not be her type. We're not-," Rachel started.

"Not completely into each other? She's totally crazy about everything that you are. You came in and swept little Princess Quinn right off her feet. You and all your crazy, somehow found a place wrapped right up inside that girl's heart. You think she's not into you? She's lying to her parents to come here to stay with you. She's got me lying to people so she can stay with you. Sure she could just as easily stay with Brittany and there would be no problems…but we both know that's not what's really going to happen. She can say she's staying with Brittany but it's not happening. Cuz Q, doesn't want to stay with Brittany. Q wants to stay with her best friend. Q wants to stay the night with her Rachel," Puck wiggled his eyebrows.

"I didn't ask her to do that. I just invited her to come hang out with all of us. I just thought we could all spend New Year's together. I wasn't planning on kissing her or sleeping with her! It's not like that. We're not…she's not…she deserves a lot better than me. I just…I've never had a real best friend before. I just wanted to spend New Year's with my friends…and my best friend."

"Please, you can't play the playa, son. I know this game. You're a master at the song and dance on the stage, Rach. But I'm a master at the song and dance of the bedroom," Puck winked.

"Oh my goodness, Noah, we are not having this conversation."

"Oh yes we are. You're telling me that you've never thought about Quinn like that? You're telling me that you've never tried to kiss her? I saw you guys kiss."

"We were drunk. She was drunk. It didn't count," Rachel defended.

"And you've never thought about it since? You've never wanted to kiss Quinn?" Puck asked.

Rachel's mind flew back to the last day in their dorm room. Leaning in close to Quinn. Telling her it was okay. Getting so close to those gorgeous hazel eyes and pouty pink lips.

"Tell me you don't want her, Rach. Tell me you're not into her," Puck laughed.

"I- I'm- I don't…I can't do that," Rachel whispered.

"I knew it! Was that really so hard? You're into Quinn. It's been obvious for quite a while. Now back to the proposal. I'm not asking for much here, Rach. I just want to see a really hot kiss between you two. You don't even have to let me watch when you get it on. I just want to watch you girls make out for a little while."

"Noah! No!"

"Just think about it. Listen, you owe me. If I gotta pretend to be your boyfriend when the Fabrays drop off darling little Quinn at Brittany's, then you totally owe me."

"No! Just…how can you seriously be okay with this? As you briefly mentioned earlier, you have or had feelings for Quinn? How is any of this okay?"

"Rach, babe, Q's hot. She's really sweet and I got a little hung up on her. I gotta admit, I pulled out a lot of Noah instead of running Puck's usual game. Now I won't lie and say that I'm not attracted to her or that I wouldn't tap that if given the chance…but as I learned with you, when a lady isn't feeling it, sometimes it's just best to cut your loses. It can actually be cool to have a girl-bro, a les-bro. Sure, that night at the club, I was pretty bent out of shape about it. I really liked her at that time ya know…of course you know, you like her," Puck chuckled.

Rachel rolled her eyes and slapped his arm in response.

"The point is Q made it very clear to me, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't into me. She likes somebody else," Puck continued.

Rachel ducked her head to hide her blush.

The boy went on, "And it's not my style to hang around forever chasing after a girl I can't get. Quinn and I talked. I took her out and we had a serious talk and I realized that as much as I liked her, it didn't really matter if she didn't like me back. Q did me a solid and told me the truth, flat out. She just wasn't interested. Now I thought about it and I figured I could sit around and pout about it or…I could help you out. Pros and cons. Pro, you and Q are both super hot. Con, you're two hot girls who won't be with me. Pro, you guys can make out and since you owe me now, I could watch. Con, there is no con to watching hot girls make out. You're like my bro, Rach. It's simple bro-code. Rule number 43: The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks an 8 or above on the 1-10 scale of hotness. Let's face it, Fabray is a solid 9.5. So no worries. You're completely allowed to dick a bro over in this case. We don't even have to apply the exception to the bro code, which is when a girl ranks from 5-7 you can still dick a buddy over but there has oral sex involved to make that excusable…which I totally support for you and Quinn. If you wanna go all oral with each other, I respect that and actually encourage it. "

"Oh my God, Puck, shut up," Rachel blushed harder than Puck had ever seen while the boy roared with laughter.

"You have my approval which also goes hand in hand with bro code rule 13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required by the code to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say 'man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls' which really doesn't apply to us cuz Q and I never dated and you have no balls…but this is my round out way of saying that by bro code, you have to tell me if she licks you."

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. This conversation is not happening. This isn't real. This is not happening. You cannot speak to me like that," Rachel ranted as she began pacing.

Puck just laughed, "Don't freak, Rach. I'm just telling you it's cool. I'm totally down with you and Quinn. You have full support from the Puckster. Plus now I get to be badass again and not worry about it. I spent an entire semester being a nice guy. Do you know how bad that sucks? I didn't get laid for an entire semester cuz I was playing nice to impress a chick. You know who sees the nice guy? You. That's it. You're the only girl who ever got to see the nice guy before this year. The rest of the ladies are just supposed to meet Puck and drop the panties. No nice guy business. I screwed that up with, Q. But I'm back. Now I can be Noah with you and the crew, cuz I mean you guys are cool with it, but according to the rest of the world, the badass motha-Puck-a is back. I'm gonna get so much ass now. I can't wait. It's like I'm a freeman and I get to watch chicks make out. Life is good."

"Great," Rachel deadpanned.

_AN: In true Puck form, I have found that the M rating is a necessity. I did my research on the guy code to find the actual rules and such. I figured it was a very Puck thing to do. Even though there's still plenty of drama ahead, I wanted to give both girls a chance to explain their feelings to their best guy friend. We're getting there! Plus check it out! Two updates in one day! And it's a Monday so that means you'll get another one tomorrow in honor of Glee. Three updates in like 48 hours! I'm feeling good about this. Worked all weekend but had today off and desperately needed to write something! Hope you all enjoy! Thanks for all your virtual chocolates! I live for your reviews! Thank you, come again!_


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"I'm sorry that I backed you into this. And Puck. God, now I've got him mixed in all of this. I feel like a terrible friend," Quinn nearly pleaded into the phone.

"You're not a terrible friend, Quinn. And don't worry about me and Puck. We can take care of ourselves. Besides, Puck's on this whole new revolution to get back to his roots. He said he's tired to being Noah all the time. You and I made him too nice. He's just glad to be Puck again. So by pretending to date me, I now owe him."

"You owe him? I am so sorry, Rachel. You don't owe him. I owe him. And I owe you. I'm sorry."

"Yeah well, like I said, don't worry about it. I'm sure you heard Finn already talked to Noah?"

"And it's all about Sam couldn't keep his stupid big mouth shut," Quinn growled.

"I'm sure he meant well. He thought there was a chance that Finn might be at Brittany's party because although he and Santana broke up, they're still somewhat friends and a party in Lima is a party in Lima so everyone knows about it. There was the possibility of Finn showing and blowing everything. Sam was actually looking out for you…it just blew up in all our faces," Rachel explained.

"I know that and I appreciate what he was trying to do…but I'm still going to kill him," Quinn muttered.

"Please refrain. I don't particularly want to visit you in prison. I mean you're beautiful and everything but prison orange doesn't work on anyone." Rachel laughed then stopped herself. "Not that I was trying to hit on you."

"Relax, Rach. I realize that you're never trying to hit on me," Quinn sighed. "And no, I won't be going to prison anytime soon. There hasn't been a homicide yet and I'm leaving tomorrow so I think we're good."

They both laughed a little then there was an awkward pause.

"How did it go with your parents? Did your mom ever tell your dad- I mean- do you think things will be okay? I don't want to make you lie to people just to hang out with me. I feel bad about all of this," Rachel confessed.

"You're my best friend. I'm going to hang with you no matter what they say."

"But do you think that's okay? Like with everything you're going through?" Rachel asked slowly.

"Yeah I think…for now things will be fine. Sam and I talked about everything and-,"

"Everything?"

"…no. Not everything but Sam's more perceptive than I originally thought. He's…things will be okay. I'm not sure how much he really knows but he's okay with what he does know. Like you said he's just trying to look out for me...and it helps knowing that no matter what someone will still have my back."

"I would have your back," Rachel muttered.

"I know but…it's different," Quinn sighed.

"How? How is it different?"

"Because Sam's not like you. Your parents are…well they understand and they fully support you. Sam's more like my family so for him to be supportive…it just means…"

"More?"

"Yeah," Quinn replied softly.

"So Sam's opinion means more to you than mine?"

Quinn quickly realized the corner she had backed herself into.

"No! I mean in this particular case and the way it's viewed. But your opinion is incredibly important to me. I'm just glad to have his approval. We both have his approval," Quinn explained.

"But you don't need his approval. You shouldn't worry about that. You just need to focus on discovering who you are. The people who truly matter won't abandon you. I would never abandon you," Rachel promised.

"I know that. And I appreciate it. I'm just happy that Sam approves. It's like one person off my mental checklist. Another person who's on my side. If things go down with my parents a certain way, I'm going to need all the friends I can get. So Sam's approval means a lot."

"I get that, Quinn. I really do. I just don't want you to get discouraged if one of your old friends isn't as willing to accept you as Samuel. It's not all fun and easy."

Quinn was quickly becoming frustrated with the brunette. If she had been a more musical person she'd throw a Barbra Streisand 'don't rain on my parade' in Rachel's face.

"I know that. I'm trying very hard not to freak out every two seconds because my parents are not going to take this well. So if I want to focus on Sam's approval. Please don't ruin that for me," Quinn almost begged, while trying to remain calm.

"Yes well of course you have his approval. He's still in love with you so he'll say whatever it takes to get you to hang out with him again," Rachel grunted.

"He's not- it's not about that. Whatever he feels for me isn't a part of this. He's accepting of who I am. He's a support system for me that I might need someday. It's not a personal issue about my former relationship with him. It's about a friendship with him in which he's willing to let me be whoever I am and accept me for it. Plus he even approves of you being a lesbian. He doesn't hate either one of us."

"Well that's just fabulous but I don't need the approval of Sam Evans to be who I am," Rachel argued.

"I didn't mean it like that. Why are you getting so defensive about this? I just think it's nice that he approves of this when not a lot of people do," Quinn fought back.

"And that's what you don't get, Quinn. I don't need his approval! I don't need anyone's approval. I've taken a long time to get to where I am today, to be comfortable acknowledging that I am a lesbian."

"A lesbian who's never had a girlfriend," Quinn muttered.

"Oh that's rich. We all move at our own pace. I know who I am. I don't need a relationship to define me. I'm not willing to settle for just anyone simply to test out my sexuality. I'm confident in my own label. I know who I am."

"Great and I'm still figuring out who I am. I'm just saying it's nice to have some approval."

"Maybe that's what you need then. Maybe you're the type who strives for the approval of other. But I don't need that. So Sam Evans approves of me. That should stop my world? I don't even know him. I don't particularly crave his approval. I don't need it and I certainly don't need your parents approval, either."

"My parent's approval? My parents suck! This has been established a long time ago. Why should their approval matter?"

"It doesn't! It doesn't matter because they would never approve of us!" Rachel growled out in a rush.

And everything froze.

"Us?" Quinn squeaked.

They were an "us." Rachel had been thinking about them in terms of "them" and "us"…like a couple? That's what she was so upset about? All of the lying and deceiving of Quinn's parents only furthered cemented the fact that the blonde's parents would never approve of them being together. Quinn had asked Rachel to hide who she was from the Fabrays. It's like she was ashamed of Rachel. If she was ashamed of the girl, she'd never pursue a relationship with her, at least not an open one. Not a serious one with true potential. Was Rachel really considering a relationship between them? Could they become a couple with or without the approval of Quinn's parents? The blonde was so quickly absorbed in her own thoughts, analyzing and over-analyzing Rachel's previous sentence.

"I didn't mean that. Not like in that way," Rachel amended quietly.

Quinn felt like the breath just got knocked out of her. She clutched the phone tightly trying to pull herself together. So not an "us" then. Not a couple. No relationship.

"I just meant that your parents will never approve of you being my friend. People, in general, don't approve of us being friends…and if they knew that I'm the one who's…well I'm taking you through this step by step as best as I can…but they'd never get that. I'm the enemy for everybody here. I've corrupted their baby girl. You think your mother would want us to go out to gay bars together? I mean in her eyes, I'm an abomination. You're not allowed to stay with me because my fathers are homosexuals. If your parents actually knew that I'm gay…that's you're…whatever…do you honestly think we'd still be roommates? It's not just about Sam's approval. Or a lack of approval. We're lying to everyone just to be friends. I spent years lying about who I really was. Now I'm doing it all over again? And I do want to see you. I do! I want you to come here. But what happens when your parents discover the truth? I can't hide who I am forever…no more than you can hide who you are. I'm glad Sam's in your corner. I just think this is far more complicated than that. When your parents find out the truth, will be still be roommates? Do you honestly think they'll allow you to be best friends with me?"

"What? I don't…I mean…I know it would be an adjustment for them but…I'll worry about that when I have to," Quinn replied.

"When you have to. What if you have to tomorrow? What if tomorrow Puck decides he doesn't want to pretend to date me? What if tomorrow I came out to your parents? What if Finn would show up and unknowingly make a scene? You can't hide forever, Quinn. I can't hide forever."

"I'm not hiding. I don't even know if I have anything to hide. I'm still attempting to figure out all of this. I wasn't aware I had to come out on your terms. Why are you being like this? What's your problem today?" Quinn asked, getting frustrated with Rachel's attitude.

"I don't have a problem. You just seem to think life is all rainbows and wonderful. I'm simply being your reality check. Your mom doesn't want you to hang out with me. Your father doesn't even have the slightest clue or else you wouldn't be allowed near me. You're the first real friend I've ever had and every day I worry that somebody will drag you away from me. Do you get how that feels for me? Do you understand this at all? I don't want to lose you. We're concocting elaborate lies just to hang out for a few days over break."

"So somehow we've gone from me being happy that I told the first person beyond our group friends about how I'm feeling and it didn't end badly to being upset because my parents are bigots and we're not going to be allowed to be friends? This was supposed to be a good conversation. I was supposed to be happy. Now you're scared that we won't be friends?"

"Nobody evens wants us to be friends! It's a very real possibility that I will lose the best friend I've ever had. To the rest of the world, I'm the big bad gay who's corrupted you. Were you even questioning yourself before me? No. This is all on me. This is my fault. Your mom hates the idea of you staying in a house where two homosexuals live. What if she really knew about me? She doesn't even want you to hang out with me unless I'm straight and dating Puck. If she knew I was gay, it wouldn't matter if I was into you or not, because you wouldn't be allowed near me. You had to lie to your mother just to hang out with me…and we're not together. What happens when you are dating someone? What happens if you get a girlfriend? I'm the easy target to blame. I'm the homos' daughter. I'm the bad influence. You were the precious angel until I came along and changed that. Don't you see that? That's how they'll look at this situation. Maybe Sam is okay with you questioning your sexuality but I will always be seen as the bad guy in this when it comes to your family. That's how everyone sees it."

"Who? Who sees you as some bad influence? You're my best friend. I don't understand why that's a problem. I'm not going to just let my parents force me away from you. I promise you I won't abandon you. I get that you're terrified to be left alone again. Things are finally going good for you and it's scary because the last time your life was going great, everybody you cared about left you. They hurt you. You're scared but we can't let that ruin our friendship, ruin everything we have, Rachel. Yeah, I'm lying to my parents this week but I won't be able to lie forever. I'm just hoping to buy enough time to get secure with myself and the people who won't leave me, before it has to come to that. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be your best friend."

How was this conversation going so terribly wrong? These are exactly the walls Puck had been talking about. Rachel was backtracking. She was freaking out. She was putting up her walls because they both had something to lose. It was clearer than ever that Quinn's parents were never going to approve of their friendship. Rachel could lose her best friend. Quinn could lose everything. With Sam knowing, with Finn practically knowing, it was getting riskier. Both girls had a lot to lose, including their hearts.

"Look, this is getting really complicated. Maybe you shouldn't come for New Year's. I hate to be the downer. It's just becoming a bigger hassle than I thought it would be. It almost doesn't seem worth it, you know. No sense in rocking the boat unless it's necessary," Rachel nearly whispered.

Quinn's heart shattered inside her chest. Rachel didn't want to hang out with her anymore?

"Did I do something wrong?" Quinn sniffled, sounding almost like a child trying to fight back her tears.

"No, of course not. It's not your fault, Quinn. You didn't do anything wrong. None of this is your fault. I just…I don't think it's worth lying to everybody just to have some stupid New Year's party with people you'll see in a few weeks anyway. Things are going to get really complicated sooner rather than later and it might be best to keep the peace as long as possible. It's not that I don't want you here. I'm just trying to think what will be best for you down the line. Is it worth raising your parents' suspicion now? Or is it like you said, more about buying enough time to get secure with who you are and figuring out who will stick by for when the time comes?"

"But I want to see you. I can't help feeling like you're mad at me. I'm sorry for whatever I said to upset you. If this is about the Puck thing, I'll tell my mom the truth. If this is about you thinking that I'm going to leave you, I'll tell her the truth right now and I'll prove to you that I'm not going anywhere. I'll deal with whatever repercussions as they come."

"No. It's not that. It's not about that. It's not about anything….I'm tired. I need to get some sleep. Don't worry about it. Everything's fine and I'll just see you when we get back to school. I got a little a head of myself. I get freaked out easily. But we're fine. It'll be better for you if we just play it cool for a while. You can spend time with your family. We'll just hang out when we get back to school. It will all work out. But for now I need to get some sleep. Good night, Quinn," Rachel sighed, but it sounded like so much more than a casual good night. It sounded like goodbye and it made Quinn's heart hurt and her eyes burn.

"Don't hang up yet. Can't we talk about this?" Quinn begged.

Rachel laughed lightly though it sounds hollow, "There's nothing to talk about. Don't be such a worrywart. Everything's fine, Quinn. I'll explain it all to Brittany and I'll see you when we get back. Like I said, it's no use rocking the boat before it's time."

"But can we just talk about this tomorrow?"

Quinn hated how desperate she must've sounded in that moment.

"Good night, Quinn," Rachel said softly and hung up before the blonde could respond.

Rachel didn't know why she was so stupid. She wanted Quinn to come. The girl was her best friend. No wonder she didn't have any friends in high school. Anytime someone showed any signs of actually caring for her, Rachel had a way of turning the tables around and pushing them away. As her friend, Rachel should be there for Quinn. Instead she let her own insecurities get in the way. They were friends. Why did she have to open her big mouth and change everything? It's not like they were dating. Yes, she had feelings for the blonde but Quinn wasn't her girlfriend. If Quinn wanted to lie to her family that was her business. Rachel shouldn't be the one to force her to come out when the girl in question was exactly that, a girl in question. But no, Rachel had to get defensive. Rachel had to worry about what everyone else though. The things Puck had said really got to her. She wasn't just Quinn's friend, she had feelings for the other girl. Rachel had, despite her best efforts, somehow developed a crush and then some for Quinn. Quinn didn't need Rachel pressuring her for a relationship. Maybe she had no intentions of trying to sneak in a midnight kiss when she was talking to Noah, but now that the idea had been put out there she really wanted it. That wasn't fair to Quinn. The blonde just wanted to see her friends. She didn't need Rachel dumping all of her own baggage on top of Quinn's. Quinn was going through enough. Rachel needed to be her friend. She should deal with her relationship insecurities on her own time and with someone other than her best friend.

Yes, she was terrified of Quinn's parents. They could potentially take away her best friend. But it was so much more than. She was scared to lose another friend. She was scared out of her mind about being abandoned again. She knew she still had issues to work through with that, but Quinn had nothing wrong. The blonde has been a constant support system and a caring friend. She had nothing but try to reassure Rachel that she wasn't leaving her. She was even willing to tell her parents the truth after it became clear that Rachel was scared of all their lies coming to the surface. If Quinn's parents found out the truth about Rachel, then it would lead to questions of why they felt the need to lie. Those questions could lead to more questions which could lead to outing Quinn before she was ready. Or those questions could lead to more questions between the two girls which could lead to Rachel slipping up and confessing her undying love for the blonde or something equally as cheesy and overly dramatic in truth Rachel Berry fashion.

Over the course of a semester, they had been carefully building a house of cards. One false move and the whole thing could come tumbling down. But there were so many players involved that it seemed inevitable for someone to make a false step. The more people constructing it the likelier it was to fall. The lies and sneaking around to hang out with people Quinn's parents wouldn't approve of, just added on it. Like they were a breeze in the room, adding pressure on the structure. If the breeze became too much, it could knock over their house of cards. If Noah slipped up, down it would crumble down. If Brittany made a bad move, down it would go. Santana was now involved. Sam, Tina, Artie, Mercedes, Kurt, Blaine, and indirectly even Finn were all involved. And those are just the extras. The core players, Rachel and Quinn, were still carefully constructing this gigantic house of cards, meandering around the moves of the others while trying to calculate just how long they could keep playing. Adding in Quinn's parents? Rachel's parents? With Quinn staying at Brittany's that would also include Brittany's parents. How many people had to get involved before it all collapsed.

Rachel Berry was officially freaking out.

"What the hell did you do, Yentl?" Santana snapped, making Rachel jump.

The tiny diva had gone to the one place in Lima she felt safe other than her own home, the music store. She had spent countless hours perusing the old records and books upon books of sheets during her tormented high school years. The music store was her safe haven from people exactly like the Latina standing next to her.

"You know Santana, comparing me to a major iconic Jewish role in which my idol garnered critical acclaim isn't one of your better insults," Rachel sighed, picking up the actual score from Yentel and waving it at the other girl.

"Can it Toucan Sam!"

"Toucan-," Rachel stared to question.

"It means shut up! Your big old beak is distracting me!" Santana glared.

Rachel returned the glare immediately, "What can I do for you, Santana?"

"You can explain to me why the hell Q called my Britts this morning explaining that she wasn't coming for New Year's anymore. Not because her parents wouldn't let her or any reason that actually would make sense, but because Rachel 'I'm so stupid, it's disgusting' Berry told her not to come!"

"Things are slightly complicated and while I appreciate that you've taken to Quinn so well that you're willing to attempt forging a friendship with her and defending her or whatever this is about-," Rachel began.

"Can you ever just shut up for two seconds? I only came here because I wanted to tell you to get your shit together. Q gets in tomorrow at 4:30. Dinner starts at 5. Britt's parents are having everybody come over. Her dad's manning the grill. Her mom even got some weird ass Vegan crap for you. Don't be late," Santana ordered.

"Wait, Quinn's still coming?"

"Yes, despite your stupidity and your dumbass mouth, Q's coming to stay with Britt. You're not her only friend here so whenever you decide to pull your head out of your ass, preferably before 5 tomorrow night, come join us. Britt's mom has been working really hard on planning a little meet and greet with the Fabrays so they'd stop freaking out about your gay family," the Latina growled.

"What?"

"Are you deaf or just dumb? B's house. 5 o'clock. Be there or I'm kicking your ass."

With that the Latina stormed out of the store.

_AN: I know some of you are probably hating both Rachel and me at the moment but things will get better. For someone who has never been afraid to be who she was, it's frustrating for Rachel to be asked to be anything other than herself but she would easily put that aside for Quinn. Plus Rachel didn't have the support system of a friend like Sam when she was literally forced out of the closet. She had a year of constant torture instead. It's not a huge jealousy issue but it does seem that all of this is easier for Quinn than it had been for Rachel. However, the real issue is that Rachel has feelings for Quinn and knowing her parents will never accept that is a constant reminder for Rachel of the many reasons that she believes Quinn would never want to be with her. They're best friends. She doesn't want to mess that up. She's never had a girlfriend. The girl she likes has parents who will never accept their daughter's sexuality. Quinn hasn't even officially said if she's gay or just experimenting. It's a difficult situation for Rachel to be the supportive friend when all she really wants is to be the girlfriend. She's essentially running scared from her feelings and the complexity of their ever changing relationship. But when you love someone, you eventually have to get over that fear. Sorry, total side note to try to explain myself. My head was in a weird place while I was writing this chapter. Just trust me on this one though. A little drama goes a long way in pushing two people together._

_Another side note: one of you asked why Quinn's parents would have to drive her to Lima, doesn't Quinn have a car? Yes, Quinn would definitely have a car. But maybe it's just my skewed perception but I was raised in a very Catholic household and my parents (even when I was in college) would always want to meet the parents of whoever I was staying with, even if it was just for a weekend...especially my freshman year of college. I know my mother once drove two hours to drop me off at my best friend's house just so she could meet the other girl's very Catholic parents. I partied and acted like a fool with the best of them when I was in college, but the second I was home I was always Daddy's little princess and Mommy's darling angel. Kinda gross right? They've totally relaxed now and I have a great family but it took the entire first year of college for my parents to let go of the notice of their little girl. I'm not by any means saying my family is anything even close to the way I've portrayed the Fabrays. My family is super loving and open about everything...but the Catholic part and the not letting go of your baby girl thing seemed to fit in this case. More rambling on my part about way too much info on how I grew up lol. But I love how passionate you all are and I do want to answer all your questions and bring you as far into this story as I can. I sometimes forget that everybody reading this, aren't actually privy to the way my mind works or the details of my own life._

_Anyways, thank you all for reading and reviewing and giving so much virtual chocolate! Sorry my author's notes were longer than the freaking chapter lol. Hope you enjoyed! Another update is on the way b/c it's REGIONALS! _


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

At five fifteen, Mr. Pierce had started the grill and was chatting away with Russell while the two sipped on their beers on the back porch. Judy was in the kitchen with Mrs. Pierce while their daughters sat on opposite sides of the living room. Brittany's mom had planned everything perfectly. She and her husband could calm the fears of Quinn's parents then the kids could have a fun New Year's spent together as soon as the elder Fabrays left.

"She'll show," Santana promised as she took a seat next to Brittany on the couch.

"I don't know what happened. One minute everything was fine. Then she was freaking out about lying to everybody and how she was a bad influence," Quinn sighed.

"Berry's a dumbass. I've known this for years…but I also know she's scared as shit of me, so she'll be here."

"I don't want her to come because she's afraid of you. I thought she'd want to see me."

"Rachel's just really weird sometimes. Everybody hurt her so she doesn't-," Brittany started.

"She doesn't trust people. I get it. I just thought that…we're best friends, you know. I mean whatever I'm going through, she's already been through. I thought that would mean something. And I thought I've done enough to prove to her that I'm not going to hurt her," Quinn mumbled, staring at her mother through the window.

The Fabrays and the Pierces had bonded immediately. Both blonde women loved to cook and were the perfect housewives. Brittany's mom had a general warmth to her though that made it seem like she cooked for her family because she loved them, not because it was her womanly duty like Judy. Russell and Brad, Brittany's father, had struck up a conversation about the Indians previous season and the rest was history. Both men worked the grill outdoors (despite the cold), sipping on beers, and talking sports. It was if the Pierces were the Fabrays of Lima, only they were actually the perfect family they seemed to be unlike the Fabrays who were experts at pretending and did very little actual caring. Mrs. Pierce knew how important it was to her daughter to convince the Fabrays that their child would be safe there.

The doorbell rang and Quinn's heart jumped into her throat. Seconds later, Puck, Artie, and Tina came bounding through the entryway.

"Fabray," Puck roared before scooping Quinn up in a hug and spinning her around slightly.

"Puckerman," Quinn laughed.

"Looking good, Princess."

"I'd watch it with comments like that. Daddy will give you the Spanish Inquisition," Quinn giggled, noticing the hard glare her father sent the Mohawked boy through the glass backdoor.

"Have you seen these guns? I can take him," Puck smirked.

Quinn rolled her eyes before turning to the other two guests, "Artie, Tina, I'm so happy to see you guys."

She hugged the boy in the wheel chair first and then wrapped her arms around the girl.

"I wasn't sure if my dad was going to let me come. There's a chance of snow flurries tomorrow and he didn't want me to drive home in it," Tina chuckled.

"I know. My parents are taking off right after dinner to make sure they beat the storm."

"Mercedes wanted to come but her family had some church event. She'll be here for New Year's Eve though," Tina smiled.

"Great. It's so nice that you all live close by. Have you seen anybody else over break?" Quinn questioned.

"Saw Hudson at the gym before he got all weird about me and Rachel," Puck groaned.

"Have you talked to her?" Quinn asked, as the rest of the teens went silent.

Puck shrugged and nodded.

"Is she mad at me?" the blonde prodded.

"Wow it's like the beginning of the semester all over again," Artie joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, guys. We shouldn't worry about all of that. Let's just have fun," Brittany grinned happily, squeezing Tina and Puck in a tight hug.

Artie laughed and nodded.

By five thirty, Russell and Brad pronounced dinner to be ready. They all rushed to the kitchen like a cafeteria, filling plates and swapping stories before returning to the living room while the adults stayed in the kitchen.

"Your parents seem to really get along with B's," Santana smirked, watching the adults laughing in the other room.

"They're just happy I'll be staying in a well balanced Christian home," Quinn muttered.

"Well that's what they think," Santana laughed.

There was a knock on the door interrupting dinner.

"I'll get it," Brittany called, flying out of her seat.

The dancer threw open the door to reveal a sheepish Rachel, nervously holding a covered dish.

"Sorry I'm late. I thought the pie would be done earlier. I didn't want to be rude and show up without anything. Then the pie took much longer and I wasn't ready. I had to look presentable. Then I couldn't find my keys…I'm sorry I'm late," Rachel apologized.

"It's cool. I'm glad you're here," Brittany squealed and pulled the tiny brunette into the house.

"Mom, Dad, Rachel's here. She brought a pie," Brittany shouted.

Russell and Judy both perked up their heads at the mention of their daughter's roommate. Brittany ushered her through the house to the kitchen quickly. Rachel barely had a second to mutter a hello to the group in the living room.

"Hello, Rachel," Susan, Brittany's mom, smiled.

"Mrs. Pierce," Rachel nodded. "Mr. Pierce."

"Rachel," the man sent her a small smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Fabray. I'm very glad you all could make it," Rachel attempted to smile nervously.

"The roommate," Russell's voice bellowed as he stood up, towering over the small girl.

"Yes, sir," Rachel squeaked.

"You brought pie?" Judy questioned.

"Yes, ma'am. I, um, I made it myself. It's a Cinnamon Vegan Apple Pie."

"Vegan?" Russell asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Rachel's Vegan," Brittany nodded, happily.

"Yes, sir," Rachel squeaked again.

"We'll have to see what that tastes like," Russell grunted, looking her over carefully.

Rachel flushed under the intense study of her roommate's parents.

"Thank you, Rachel. Why don't you girls join your friends and I'll be sure to serve it up once dinner is finished," Mrs. Pierce offered.

Brittany squealed and clapped her hands before dragging a slightly frightened Rachel back to the living room.

"I think your parents broke her, Q," Santana teased as Brittany sat the smaller girl into a chair.

"Your father is very intimidating," Rachel whispered.

"You're not mad at me anymore, are you?" Quinn asked as she walked over to her traumatized roommate.

"I was never mad at you, Quinn. I'm very happy you're here," Rachel smiled sincerely, before the blonde dropped to her knees in front of her.

Quinn wrapped Rachel up in a tight hug. Both girls breathing in the other's scent for the first time in over and week and a half. Judy watched from the kitchen, observing the two in their embrace. She didn't like the feeling that arose in her stomach at the scene. Russell had gone back to sports talk with Brad, but Judy was going to keep her eye on that girl while they were all still under the same roof. She wasn't so sure about leaving Quinn for a few days in Lima anymore.

"Get over here, babe," Puck smirked, calling Rachel over to him as the Pierces brought more chairs into the living room for everyone.

Rachel glared at him before sitting next to Quinn.

"Trouble in paradise?" Santana laughed, as Rachel rolled her eyes.

"You two are dating?" Judy questioned.

Rachel sighed before nodding. Quinn tensed next to her. Puck grinned, fighting his laughter. Santana snorted. Brittany furrowed her brow at the exchange while the rest of their friends merely looked confused.

"Yep, me and Berry. Match made in heaven," Puck grinned with a wink.

"Let's play a game," Brittany announced.

"What truth or dare with the parents?" Santana cracked up.

"What about that new dance game you jus got, Britt? I'm sure that would be fun for your friends," Mrs. Pierce suggested, shooting Santana a look.

The Latina had become somewhat of a fixture in the Pierce household again. Susan knew the girls had something going on but she didn't mind as long as the dark haired girl continued to make her daughter smile all the time. Plus Santana had a sweet side that she rarely showed with anyone but Brittany. Still, Mrs. Pierce knew the girl would do anything for her daughter and that was really all she could ask for.

"Or that karaoke game," Mr. Pierce nodded.

"Karaoke?" Rachel immediately perked up.

"Oh here we go," Puck groaned.

"Don't even pretend that you despise singing, Noah. You're actually somewhat talented," Rachel replied shortly.

"But not as good as you, sweetie."

Puck said the endearment with such a sugary sweet voice laced with disdain. Rachel fought the urge to stand up and smack him. Tina giggled softly. Quinn discreetly put her hand on Rachel's arm to calm her. Rachel immediately relaxed slightly at Quinn's warmth. Judy watched closely, straightening her spine at the small exchange between the two girls on the couch.

"This is going to be fun," Rachel muttered to Quinn while Puck wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Karaoke!" Brittany squealed. "I wanna duet with S!"

"We are not doing anything from RENT," Santana threatened the dancer who pouted in response.

"This should be entertaining," Mr. Pierce laughed as he set up the Xbox.

"You're playing, too, aren't you Brad?" Santana teased.

"Not in a million years."

"I think this game is best left for you kids, but we're happy to watch," Susan grinned.

It was decided that they would have a competition to see who could score the highest. Rachel was immediately determined to win. Quinn kept giggling at her roommate's antics. She knew that the tiny singer was very driven but had yet to actually see her competitive side come out so strongly.

Brittany happily went first singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Her parents were thrilled with their daughter's performance and amazing dancing. The Fabrays seemed slightly uncomfortable as it became more and more apparent that even though the Pierces were Lima's equivalence of the Fabrays, they weren't nearly as uptight and actually enjoyed being silly. Plus Brittany and Santana were no strangers to affection. Sure they weren't making out or all over each other, but they weren't being shy with their obvious affections. Still, the Pierces didn't seem bothered at all. The Fabrays were an even split. Russell didn't seem to notice anything other than when his drink was empty. Judy was a careful observer.

Rachel was beside her self with excitement as she volunteered to go next in the karaoke competition. Puck quickly told her to shut up and let someone else have a turn before she went all diva on them and turned it into a serious competition. The brunette huffed but let Artie sing.

Artie was surprisingly talented. He sang "Lean on Me" and everyone else had fun joining in for the chorus. The teens were bouncing around and being ridiculous. Quinn was quickly losing herself in the fun with her friends, forgetting about her mother's watchful gaze and critical judgment.

Rachel sprang up to sing next only to be cut off by Noah who serenaded her with "Sweet Caroline." Rachel was angry at first but quickly gave into the giggles and the fun as she and Quinn touched hands and sang to each other with "hands touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching you."

Rachel attempted to grab the microphone controller next but was intercepted by a smirking Santana. Santana launched into "Valerie" getting everyone to dance again, minus the Fabray parents of course.

Rachel tried for the mic again before a giggling Tina caught the controller that Santana tossed to her over Rachel's head.

"You guys are being incredibly unfair and childish," Rachel stomped her foot.

"Give it up, Berry. Nobody wants to hear you screeching Streisand," Santana laughed before Puck high fived her.

"Thanks, Noah. You're supposed to be my boyfriend, remember," Rachel glared.

Puck just laughed and smirked at her triumphantly while Judy noticed something cross her daughter's face. She wasn't sure what exactly it was but Quinn looked slightly resentful for only a moment before placing her smile back on her face.

Tina impressed with her rendition of "True Colors" while Brittany bounced around between all her friends giving hugs and repeatedly exclaiming how happy she was that everybody was there together again.

After Tina's song, Puck snatched the microphone before passing it off to Santana and Brittany who did "Me Against the Music" completely with some rather vulgar dance moves that had Judy squirming and Russell knocking back another brandy.

Puck took the mic again just before Quinn snatched it out of his hands.

"I do believe it's someone else's turn," Quinn chuckled.

"Alright, Q, keep it from the midget," Santana smirked.

Quinn raised a perfect eyebrow before sending a glare at the Latina. She and Santana had apparently formed a truce after the other girl's heroic rescue in the bar with Triple C. It's not that they were necessarily friends but Santana had been known to get on the phone while Quinn and Brittany talked. They were forming a frenemies relationship of sorts. It was an unspoken agreement that they would still taunt each other and try to get a rise out of each other but it was becoming clear that they would also have each other's backs.

"I haven't heard Quinnie sing since she was in the church choir as a little girl," Russell beamed to Brad proudly.

Quinn grinned and tossed the microphone to Rachel, "You'll have to wait a little longer, Daddy. Show us what you've got, Superstar."

Rachel looked shocked as she finally held the mic in her hands. There was no hiding how smitten she was with the blonde at that moment. Judy's stomach turned at the expression of complete devotion on the tiny brunette's face. Quinn was beaming in return.

"But Quinnie, your father and I would love to hear you sing," Judy spoke up for the first time in about an hour.

"It's Rach's turn," Quinn shrugged. "Now blow us all away."

Rachel's grin took up her entire face as she walked to the center of the room. She squared her shoulders and transformed into performance mode.

"Here we go. It's gonna be Streisand," Santana groaned.

"I'll have you know, Barbra Streisand is a musical genius and a master of phrasing. She sings unlike any other person and is one of the few performers to have ever attained the coveted EGOT, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony wins," Rachel addressed the Latina haughtily.

"Yeah yeah. Sing the song, hobbit."

"Be nice, S," Brittany instructed while both her parents held back chuckles.

"For this round, however, I will not be singing any of Ms. Streisand's great hits. I'll save that for my win," Rachel informed with a confident smirk.

Santana rolled her eyes while the rest of their friends laughed softly.

Rachel belted out Katy Perry's "Firework" like a pro. Quinn was speechless. When Rachel took a bow at the end, Brittany sprang up and wrapped her arms around the tiny singer.

"You're so good, Rachel!"

"That was great!" Artie praised.

"There's the girl from sectionals," Tina grinned.

"That's my girl," Puck stated proudly, tossing an arm over Rachel's shoulder while Quinn flinched slightly.

"I do believe it is Quinn's turn," Rachel replied in response.

"Yeah right. Like I'm going after that. Rachel you're amazing," Quinn gushed.

"Thank you. I told you I have had years of training. Also I was born with perfect pitch. I know it's a little unfair," Rachel giggled, bragging slightly.

"And that's definitely the girl from sectionals," Tina laughed.

Artie volunteered to sing again with Michael Jackson's "PYT". Soon everyone had gone a second time except for Quinn. Rachel talked her into singing "I Say a Little Prayer" and even accompanied her with occasional background vocals since Rachel couldn't shut up during anyone's song after her first. Puck and Rachel sang "Need You Now" as a duet during which Quinn tried to smile but kept failing. Everyone else seemed to really enjoy it though, especially Quinn's mother. Still Quinn couldn't help feeling the jealousy bubbling up inside her as Rachel turned her 'I'm singing with you so I'm in love with you' eyes on Puck. It's like the girl got all doe-eyed over any guy who would sing lead with her. Quinn wanted to shout at her 'You're a lesbian, Rachel. Quit giving him lovey dovey eyes.' or 'He's a guy. Don't give him bedroom eyes!'. Instead she just sat there, silently fuming and hating every second of the love song. Yes, Rachel was a talented actress but that didn't mean she had to act _every_ time she sang a damn song! Why did it have to be Puck? Quinn felt the verbal tirade forming in her throat, ready to last out at the boy who had slept with Rachel once upon a time and now got to act like her boyfriend! Rachel should be singing to Quinn! However, as soon as she thought it, the brunette turned to look at her and winked discreetly. Quinn flushed feeling her mother's eyes on them. That's why Puck was pretending to be Rachel's boyfriend. Then not only was Quinn jealous, but she also felt a little sick.

Brad had refilled Russell's glass of brandy yet again and the host was obviously becoming intoxicated just before his daughter talked him into singing "ABC" by the Jackson Five with her. By then, everyone was having fun except Quinn's parents who seemed very out of place. Russell was tolerant of the squeals and laughter as long as his glass was full. Judy couldn't stop watching her daughter and her roommate. She didn't know what was going on between them but she didn't like it.

Eventually they decided to end the game with Rachel as the undisputed winner, finally singing her Streisand number of the night. Quinn was in awe while the tiny girl put everything she had into her version of "Don't Rain on my Parade." Tina remarked that was the very solo which had won McKinley's glee club their first national title. Quinn had no doubt in her mind that Rachel was the most talented person she had ever met.

By this point in the evening, the Fabrays had decided they should be leaving soon. They had a three and a half hour drive to get home and Judy knew Russell couldn't possibly drive. She didn't want to have to drive home too late. At the rate they were going, they wouldn't be home until nearly midnight. She still wasn't thrilled with the idea of Quinn staying and offered to let the girl go home with them if she wanted. She had her time with her friends and could still spend New Year's with Sam and her other friends from home. Quinn refused saying she wanted to spend the few days in Lima with everyone. Reluctantly, Judy and Russell pulled out of the Pierces' driveway a little after nine thirty.

"Alright, I believe it's time Brad and I left you all alone. I think he's performed enough tonight," Susan smiled warmly at all the teens while trying to coax her intoxicated husband up the stairs.

"We'll try to keep it down, Mrs. Pierce," Rachel promised.

Susan nodded before taking Brad out of the room.

"Good night my little stars," Brad shouted while stumbling upstairs.

They all laughed and Quinn was reminded again of how different the Pierces were from her own family. Appearance wise they were the same. However, Brad and Susan knew how to lighten up and have fun. Maybe that's why Brittany was so carefree. She didn't have to hide her relationship with Santana. Brittany's parents were obviously aware but seemed to be supportive, even if they were as Christian as Quinn's family.

"Movie?" Brittany suggested.

"I better get going, actually," Tina replied regretfully. "My parents don't want me driving home too late. It's not that far but you know how parents can be."

"Thanks for having us," Artie smiled as he and Tina gathered their things.

Brittany walked them to the door after they all said their goodbyes. Puck kicked back the recliner he was sitting in. Santana grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch for her and Brittany. Rachel and Quinn were crammed together on the loveseat. They all decided on a comedy when Brittany returned. The dancer put in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and snuggled in with Santana on the couch.

"How is it that I'm such a stud but I'm all alone in a recliner by myself on a Friday night with four chicks in the same room?" Puck groaned.

"Cuz you hang out with lesbians," Santana retorted.

"So you admit you're totally gay for Britt Britt," Puck teased.

"Shut up, Puckerman. Me and Brits have our own thing going on. Call it whatever you want but I got my girl and she's got me. Problem with that?" Santana sneered.

"Not at all."

"Good," the Latina stated, ending the discussion.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Rachel whispered to Quinn.

Quinn nodded with a small smile.

"What's wrong?" the brunette asked.

Quinn shrugged. She had fun, too. In fact, it was the most fun she'd had all break. She loved all her friends. They were loud. They were crazy. They sang karaoke…they were real friends who made her laugh and got to unwind together. She just wished her parents would've loosened up. Her dad got drunk as usual. Her mom stared daggers and her and Rachel the entire night. Quinn wasn't stupid. She knew her mom wasn't either. Judy had her suspicions. Quinn just wasn't sure how the older woman would react if she knew her suspicions were correct.

"I just wished my parents would've been more fun. I guess that was expecting too much," Quinn answered honestly.

Rachel nodded sympathetically before wrapping an arm around the blonde. Quinn settled into Rachel's embrace easily.

"Hey no cuddling over there. That's my girlfriend, remember?" Puck teased.

Quinn rolled her eyes and flipped him off.

"Nice. I thought little Catholic princesses weren't supposed to flip people the bird. Not very lady-like," Puck laughed.

Quinn snorted and snuggling in closer to Rachel. The brunette, however, had stiffened a little before pulling out of the embrace. Quinn stared at Rachel for a moment trying desperately not to feel hurt by the move. The brunette kept her eyes locked on the movie instead. Quinn sighed and rearranged herself so her body was away from Rachel's and hugging the armrest. Rachel bit her lip but still didn't take her eyes off the screen. One step forward, and two steps back. Here we go again.

_AN: I'm anxiously awaiting Regionals! So I've got an hour until it starts, how will I spend that time? Hmmm...maybe I'll write ANOTHER chapter! Can I do it? Like four chapters in two days? I'm sure as hell gonna try. But once I post this, I have a feeling Regionals will have aired and I'll hopefully be posting another chapter with it. Then this author's note will seem a little funny. Oh well. I'm writing while thinking. Or thinking while writing. This note is wasting precious Faberry writing time! Crap! I better get on it! _


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Susan came back into the living room after the movie had ended to find the five teens almost asleep watching Jersey Shore.

"I think maybe it's time for everybody to either go to bed or head home," Susan suggested.

Puck rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched. Rachel yawned and stood up. Santana snuggled closer into Brittany and mumbled something about "staying right here."

"Santana if you're staying again, please call your mother this time. She had a fit last night," Susan smiled at the pair entangled on the couch.

Santana nodded and grabbed her phone sending a quick text before dropping her head back down on Brittany's chest.

"Are you girls staying on the couch all night?" Susan giggled.

Brittany nodded sleepily.

"Why don't you two go up to your room, Britt? Your father will be up in the morning making all kinds of noise in the kitchen."

"M'kay," Brittany replied trying to remove the Latina wrapped around her.

"No," Santana groaned.

"S, you guys have to get up," Quinn giggled.

"Quinn are you staying here?" Susan questioned.

Rachel and Puck stopped near the doorway as the blonde in question stretched and stared at them.

"I don't know. I mean my mom…" Quinn trailed off.

"It's up to you. I know your mother would prefer that you stay here, but I think if you all are going to stay at Rachel's for New Year's Eve unattended you can't get into too much trouble by yourselves tonight. I'm more worried about bailing you all out of jail on New Year's Day…of course, Rachel you're more than welcome to stay here if you'd like. I don't know how I feel about you being alone in that big house by yourself all weekend," Susan offered.

"It's not so bad," Rachel replied as Puck handed over her coat.

"Well either way, I'm not crazy about you being alone. So Quinn if you want to stay at Rachel's it's fine with me. Rachel if you want to stay here, that's equally as fine."

"I told my fathers I'd watch the house. Quinn you don't have to come. Your parents think you're staying here anyway. I'd hate to cause problems."

Quinn looked between Susan and Rachel for a second before making up her mind.

"Thanks, Mrs. Pierce. B, S, I'll see you guys tomorrow," Quinn grinned before picking up her bag and running to the door.

Puck smirked and patted Rachel on the back, while the brunette silently slipped on her coat and passed the blonde her own.

"You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that to avoid this conversation. You can't get rid of me that easily, Berry," Quinn whispered into the brunette's ear, making Rachel shiver.

Outside Puck climbed into his giant pickup truck and made some comment about how Rachel shouldn't forget that she owed him. Then he took off down the road with a loud roar from his engine. Quinn raised an eyebrow at the girl. Rachel shook her head and unlocked her tiny red Prius. They rode in silence to the brunette's house. The butterflies in Quinn's stomach were fluttering like crazy the closer they got. Rachel fumbled with the radio for a second before soft music filled the silence.

It seemed that the universe was seriously messing with Rachel Berry. The first song that came on was Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl." Rachel immediately flushed and changed the station while Quinn smirked. In a twist of fate, the next station was playing "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer.

"If Boyz to Men plays, I'll die," Rachel muttered to herself.

Quinn fought the giggle that was rising in her throat.

"You don't want to hear 'I'll make love to you' right this second," Quinn chuckled.

Rachel turned to her with wide eyes.

"It's a joke, Rach. Lighten up," the blonde sighed.

"Well we do have the house to ourselves…but I should warn you, I do have a rape whistle," Rachel teased.

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"My favorite Boyz to Men song has always been 'Water Runs Dry.' I don't know why I like that best," Rachel commented offhandedly.

The lyrics of 'Water Runs Dry' immediately sprang to Quinn's mind 'let's not wait till the water runs dry. We might watch our whole lives pass us by.' It did seem rather fitting, like she and Rachel were in some strange holding pattern just waiting for the right moment, waiting for things to click into place between them.

"And who could forget 'End of the Road'? I've always felt that song was particularly heart wrenching. I listened to it several times on repeat after my breakup with Finn. A tad childish and melodramatic but it was excellent music for lamenting the status of my life at that time. It's still a good song though. Terrible associations with now but a good song nonetheless."

"It is. I've always been a fan of it. 'Why do you play with my heart? Why do you play with my mind?' Great lyrics. Sometimes a little fitting," Quinn mumbled.

"Sometimes," Rachel agreed.

Quinn was so frustrated. Couldn't Rachel see she was talking about her? The tiny diva had been playing with her heart since they kissed in the bar. Wasn't Quinn being completely obvious? Was Rachel really that thick? Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she did notice but didn't feel the same. That would explain why she didn't want Quinn to stay with her. Why make things awkward between them? If Quinn didn't come they wouldn't have to talk about it and Rachel wouldn't have to let her down easy. No! Quinn wasn't the one who tried to kiss Rachel in their dorm room. It had been the brunette who had leaned it. Rachel was the one who had attempted to reassure Quinn. Rachel had made the move. So why was she acting so distant? Pulling away at Brittany's? Retracting her invite? Talk about playing with someone's heart and their mind!

"Why didn't you want me to stay with you?" Quinn asked bluntly.

"Uh, what?" Rachel was caught completely off guard.

"Why didn't you want to come here?"

"I explained on the phone, Quinn. It wasn't that I didn't want your company. Things were just a little complicated. But you're here now and I'm very grateful to have you here. We shouldn't dwell on my stupidity. We should just have fun and enjoy the time we have while you're here. "

"Please don't toy with me, Rachel. I'm not an idiot. We need to a have a conversation that we're both avoiding."

"I'm no avoiding any conversation. I admit I panicked a little. I didn't like the idea of lying to your parents. It felt weird that we would be sneaking around. And for what? To spend New Year's together? We live together. We will see each other on a day to day basis soon enough. I just didn't think it was that big of a deal either way. But I was being selfish. I was caught up in my insecurities over our friendship and…it's not like you're here just to hang out with me. All of our friends are here. But being me, I made it all about me. As if the universe revolves around Rachel Berry. For that I am truly sorry," Rachel breathed.

"Ok fine. Whatever. It's fine. You're right. We should just have fun. I'm here and we're going to have a great New Year's."

"Exactly. The important thing is that you are, in fact, here despite my idiocy."

Rachel shot the other girl a small smile before turning her attention back to the road. Quinn sighed and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the car window. As happy as she was to be in Lima with her friends, Quinn knew the next few days were going to be a special brand of torture.

"You know, Boyz to Men are often forgotten by our generation as true pioneers in the music industry. They are the best selling R&B group of all time," Rachel continued. "Their four part harmonies are quite amazing, paving the way for many boybands and such after. I believe 98 degrees got their start modeling after Boyz to Men. And you know how I felt about 98 degrees in middle school. I believe that was one of our first true discussions. Backstreet boys and NSync took their harmonies to another level but they're often compared to New Kids on the Block, which let's be honest, you and I are just slightly too young to really grasp the effect the New Kids had on the music industry. But the classic songs of Boyz to Men? I feel that 'On Bended Knee' and 'End of the Road' and yes, even 'I'll Make Love to you' have a lasting power that NSync's 'This I Promise You' just doesn't have. This is exactly the type of thing I've been struggling with in my own music composition classes. How do you write a love song that actually means something and has a lasting effect? Not that the members of Boyz to Men can be directly credited for the lasting power of their music. It's a collaboration between the song writers and the producers as well as their tight harmonies and ability to make you feel exactly what they're singing about."

The blonde rolled her eyes as the other girl rambled on. They pulled up into the Berry driveway. Quinn studied the house in front of her. Rachel's home was a decently sized two-story home with nice landscaping that was blanketed in a light frost. There was a wreath decorating the front door and faux candles in the windows, giving it a nice small town charm. By Lima's standards it was clear Rachel's family was well off compared to most in their town. It looked like a nice home to grow up in. Not too prim and proper to be lived in. Just a nice home. Quinn spoke up again interrupting Rachel's Boyz to Men rant.

"Are you seriously going off on a tangent about Boyz to Men?" Quinn giggled.

"It did start that way but it appears that I've ventured from my original train of thought and am currently stuck on my latest song writing debacle. I realize the semester has ended but I barely made it through my composition class. My professor said I have a lot of potential but she'd like me to try to take my music beyond the classroom. I know as a performer I have that ability to touch people. As a song writer, I'm uncertain."

"Well I did hear a brief part of one of your songs…it was really good…maybe that's something you could share with me," Quinn prompted gently.

"You want to hear my songs?" Rachel asked, blushing in the darkness that filled the car as the interior lights dimmer with the removal of her key.

"I'd really like to…if you'd let me."

"I've never shared them with anyone. My songs have been kept in my diary as poems or mere melodies that I hum sometimes. The only person to hear the music was my composition professor…but she never heard the words. Those have been solely my own."

"You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable."

"It's not that…I just…I'd really like you to best the first," Rachel smiled softly.

"I would be honored," Quinn returned with an intimate smile of her own.

"We can go in through the garage," Rachel abruptly ended whatever moment they were having by quickly gathering her purse and keys.

Rachel nearly jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut faster than Quinn really had time to process what had happened. Quinn growled into the silence of the car before exiting and following the brunette into the dark garage, past her fathers' car. Rachel hit the button for the garage door, leaving them in blackness. Quinn stayed close behind to avoid running into anything in the dark as the brunette fumbled around.

"There's a switch here somewhere," Rachel mumbled, running her hand along the wall.

With a click, light flooded the room. The Berry garage was an odd collection of items. There was a dark blue Benz in the center of the garage as well as the shelves lining the walls full of old nick-knacks. There was a shelf devoted to fishing equipment. Another devoted to car parts. Another with old paint cans. There was an entire section was old instruments, a flute case, a trumpet, a guitar, an old keyboard, a saxophone, and a snare drum.

"Wow," Quinn breathed.

This garage held many secrets of Rachel Berry's life. It was lived in. It held treasures. The Fabray garage was carefully organized and rarely touched. Yet another difference between Rachel's upbringing and Quinn's.

"I didn't pick up my love for music out of nowhere. Daddy plays several instruments and Dad is a brilliant guitar player. Neither sings very much. Daddy can carry a tune but Dad is basically tone deaf when singing," Rachel explained.

"How many instruments do you play?"

"Just three. I started out on the piano. Then Dad taught me to play guitar, not well but enough to get by. I took up the flute on my own in middle school. I was in the band for half of a semester before I decided that I enjoyed the choir far more. I believed it was best for me to be as well versed in many areas as possible. Choir, honor roll, several clubs, dance, theatre, and my brief stint in the marching band."

Quinn nodded. Rachel jerked her head toward the house and flicked the light off again as she opened the door to her home. The garage was connected to a rather large kitchen. It was very bright yellow and decorated with roosters and several birdhouses painted like old barns lined a shelf near the dark brown cabinets.

"Barns and roosters?" Quinn asked.

"Dad grew up on a farm. I don't know why Daddy let him decorate the kitchen. I guess since Daddy got to decorate the rest of the place, he had to give Dad one room."

"It's cute. Very Ohio-ish. Homey."

"Your kitchen isn't homey?" Rachel laughed, lightly poking the beak of a rooster shaped pitcher on the counter.

"My entire house isn't homey. The Fabrays are all about formal presentation. It's very clean but you'd never know a family lived there. It's more like a display than a home," Quinn answered honestly.

Rachel nodded sympathetically and walked out of the kitchen to the dining area which opened up into the living room. Her Daddy apparently had taste. They had a stylish living room with a very large and comfy looking brown leather sectional couch and two worn leather recliners. In the corner of the room sat an upright piano with intricate carvings in the stool placed in front of it. The top of the piano was lined with photographs of Rachel throughout the years. Pictures of tap recitals, piano recitals, vocal recitals, and a few candid pictures from picnics and a bat mitzvah. The walls were lined with photos as well of Rachel's school pictures from elementary school all the way up to a rather large senior portrait in the center of the wall behind the couch. It was about the same size as the large portrait of Jesus in the center of the Fabray's living room. There were also several photos of Rachel and her fathers, including a series of four photos in a line meant to look like a strip from a photo booth, complete with ridiculous faces and silly poses. Quinn smiled at what appeared to have been a fun day to be a Berry.

"My fathers are quite silly when they want to be," Rachel smiled, nodding to the series.

"Looks like a good day."

"One of the best. It was the day before my thirteenth birthday. They wanted to do something fun before I started high school. They figured I would be too cool once I was a freshman to want to celebrate my birthday with my parents the next year. Make the most of what would've been our last big birthday celebration together. However, the next year we ended up going to New York to see Wicked. I told them I wanted to spend my birthday with my two favorite people. It was a fantastic trip…it sucked knowing the reason we really went was because nobody would come to Rachel Berry's birthday party. But at least I got to go to New York City and see a Broadway show. My fathers never treated me like an outsider. They always made a huge deal out of birthday, making it a family celebration of fun instead of dwelling on the no-friends part of the celebration."

"Your dads seem really great, Rach," Quinn put her hand on the brunette's shoulder gently.

"They are. They're the best dads a girl could ask for. You know, I never truly needed a mother. I got everything I could want from my fathers. Sure, it would've been nice to know Shelby but knowing how things turned out with her I realize I'm better off with my dads. They always treated me like a princess. They gave me anything I could want, every lesson, a piano, trips to New York…when they were around, they were amazing…they were just busy a lot, especially towards the end of high school. They never missed a birthday though," Rachel explained.

"I'm sorry high school was so hard for you," Quinn replied sincerely.

Rachel turned to look at her, slightly surprised.

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't even know me. Wasn't like there was anything you could do?" Rachel laughing, though it sounded hollow even to her own ears.

"Still, I wish I could've been there for you. I can't imagine how hard it was. Everything you went through with Shelby, with your dads, with Finn, and coming out…I just wish I could've been your friend through all of that."

Rachel's eyes shined with unshed tears as she seemed to visibly melt right in front of the blonde. Rachel said Quinn's name barely louder than a breath. Quinn just shrugged and offered the other girl a half smile. Rachel shook her head and crossed to Quinn quickly, wrapping her up in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Quinn. You are without a doubt the best friend I will ever have. I hope I never mess that up," Rachel sighed, sinking into the embrace just that much deeper.

Quinn held on to her just as tightly. She dropped her face to Rachel's hair to inhale the sweet smell of the smaller girl's shampoo and perfume. It never ceased to amaze Quinn just how well Rachel fit in her arms. As if realizing this herself, Rachel pulled back slightly. Quinn's heart sped up as Rachel's eyes ran over her face almost like a gentle caress, stopping on her lips. The mood quickly changed. This wasn't the embrace you share with your best friend anymore. Quinn exhaled softly, her breath washing over Rachel's face highlighting just how close they were.

Quinn leaned in slowly. Rachel shut her eyes in anticipation. Both of their hearts sped up even more. Quinn's lips turned up slightly as she fought the grin threatening to spread across her face. She closed her eyes and began to close the distance between her lips and Rachel's.

Tiptoeing this thin line was what they'd been doing for weeks. Each conversation, each longing glance, each gentle brush of their hands. It's what they did best. Just tiptoeing between friends and maybe something different, something more…this could push them in one direction or the other though. Just a little closer and they're be no denying it. A little closer and-

"I gotta fly once. I gotta try once. Only can die once. Right sir," rang out into the silence of the room.

The girls sprang apart quickly as Rachel darted to grab her cell phone from the recliner she had thrown her purse in.

Quinn sighed squeezing her eyes shut tightly as the brunette answered the phone.

"Hello Daddy…yes, I'm home…no, Daddy. Quinn is here…we had dinner at the Pierces' home…yes, it was quite lovely…well put him on…hello Dad…stop giving Daddy such a hard time…no, you both deserve a break…I'm perfectly fine…Quinn is here…we were just getting ready to go to bed…of course. I put fresh sheets in the guest room…I know that, Dad…well tell Daddy that I'm fine…I know. I have been living on my own for a few months now I'm perfectly capable of manning the house alone…well Quinn is here…of course…I love you, too. Tell Daddy I love him…good night."

"Your dads," Quinn breathed.

"They just wanted to check in. They were a little worried about me staying alone. You've eased their fears," Rachel chuckled slightly.

Insert awkward silence.

"So…" Quinn mumbled.

"Bed then?" Rachel asked.

Quinn's head snapped up as her breath caught in her chest.

"Not I mean…well I've prepared the guest room for you. Was the presumptuous? You said you weren't staying but then I thought with New Year's and everyone coming over for that perhaps someone would need a place to stay beyond Brittany or Santana's floor…well it couldn't hurt to be prepared ahead of time if I would happen to get a guest," Rachel rambled.

"It's okay. It's good to be prepared. You didn't have to go through any trouble with a guest room. It's not like we haven't shared a room before, Rach," Quinn giggled, then bit her lip to hide her smirk.

Rachel's eyes widened slightly before locking on Quinn's mouth while her mouth watered at the sight of the blonde biting her lip. Rachel took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Yes, but we do have a guest room and I only have the one bed in my room."

"We've shared a bed before, Rachel. Several times. You've fallen asleep in my bed or vice versa after a movie night or roomie night. It's not like it'd be the end of the world for both of us to stay in your room," Quinn reasoned carefully.

Rachel took a step toward the stairs but kept plenty of distance between her and Quinn. She looked torn. She started to speak then stopped. She stared at Quinn for a moment then attempted to speak again but just as quickly shut her mouth.

"Rach?" Quinn asked with a tiny laugh.

"I think…what I mean to say is…well…I think it would be best for us to get an adequate night's sleep. In order to do so, we should probably have separate sleeping arrangements. I'm very tired and I'm sure you are as well after a long day of traveling. You'd sleep better in your own bed without my legs kicking you or yours kicking mine. Plus, it removes the temptation to chat all night and sleep very little. If we're to expect to enjoy New Year's Eve we will need all the rest we can get while we can," Rachel said quickly in all one breath.

Quinn nodded slowly as if trying to sort through everything the tiny diva just said.

"So guest room it is then," Quinn sighed.

Rachel nodded and took off up the stairs. Quinn followed silently not saying a word while Rachel showed her to the guest room. She remained quiet even as Rachel explained which door was the bathroom and where any spare pillows and blankets were. Quinn merely nodded in the right places but remained mute even as Rachel bid her good night and left the blonde standing in the middle of the guest room entirely perplexed.

What the hell had just happened? She was pretty sure they were going to kiss in the living room. She hadn't been making that up. They were definitely going to kiss. She wanted to kiss Rachel so badly and she knew the brunette wanted to kiss her too.

Except maybe it was a little more complicated than that. They're best friends. Rachel had never even had a best friend before. They couldn't just jump each other and expect there to be no consequences. They had to toe this line carefully. Tiptoeing. They could be the experts of tiptoeing until both of them were certain their friendship could survive whatever happens next. Maybe a little space was good. Almost kissing and then sharing a bed could put temptation right in front of them.

But to exile her to the guest bedroom? That just seemed a little extreme? They'd been roommates all semester. Was Rachel really afraid they couldn't control themselves in the same room? Yes, it was clear they wanted to kiss each other but Quinn did have some control over her hormones. She hadn't jumped the tiny brunette yet. Besides, it wasn't as if they'd be rushing into anything just by sharing the same bed. Sharing a bed could be a temptation but that didn't mean they would have to give into it. Of course sharing a bed with someone you're kissing, or wanting to kiss, is a little different than just sharing a bed with your roommate. Kissing in a bed with someone you're obviously attracted to is definitely different than sharing a bed with your roommate after watching a movie.

Now there's a terrifying thought. Did she want to do more than kiss Rachel? Was that jumping way too far ahead? They weren't even together. They weren't dating. They hadn't actually had a conversation about how either was felt about the other. Was it too soon to think about what would happen by sharing a bed with a girl she was attracted to? Quinn was still trying to navigate through these waters, to sort out her own head. Did she really want to take it further with Rachel without really knowing what any of this meant?

Four months ago she had been perfectly content, or well only mildly miserable, as Daddy's little princess. She was certain she was straight and all of the gays were going to burn in Hell. Somehow over four months all of that had changed and she was questioning everything she'd ever known about herself for the past eighteen years. Now she was entertaining the idea of sleeping with Rachel…as in sleeping next to her…and possibly having borderline thoughts of events that wouldn't qualify as sleeping at all while sharing a bed with the girl. It'd only been four months. Could she really be having these thoughts? Wanting to kiss Rachel was one thing? Wanting to take that further? Well that would definitely tip the scales towards lesbian or at least bisexual. Wow, sexual thoughts…about girls…probably hadn't had too many of those like four months ago. Okay, so maybe a few of those thoughts, but always followed by regret, mortification, and disgust.

Just because she was attracted to Rachel and wanted to kiss the girl didn't meant she would immediately have sex with her though. She'd kissed many boys before and it didn't lead to sex every time. In fact, she'd only had sex that one time with Sam. It's not like she was some hormonal time bomb just waiting to explode and jump into bed with the first girl she kissed. Sure, kissing Rachel had been far more exciting than it had ever been making out with Sam or any boy. Sure, that moment in their dorm had put more butterflies in her stomach than any moment with any boy. Sure, the moment in the living room left her wanting. What she was wanting was still up for debate but she wanted something …but she was still Quinn Fabray. She still had morals. She still wasn't easy by any means. Plus Rachel certainly wasn't easy. Neither of them were the type to just sleep with the first person they were attracted to. It would have to mean something to both of them. So Rachel was wrong. They didn't need some unnecessary separation as far as sleeping arrangement go.

Besides, Quinn would die in this room. Being in the same house as Rachel. Just down the hall. So close and yet so far. How was she expected to get any sleep in a strange house in a strange room and knowing that the girl she had feelings for was just down the hall? That wasn't fair. How was she supposed to sleep when all she wanted to do was sleep next to Rachel? Forget about taking things to some new level or even just kissing the girl…which in a sense was taking things to a new level for them, sober kissing…but putting all of that aside, she really just wanted to sleep next to the girl. To know she was right there and she wasn't going anywhere. That if Quinn reached out in the night, Rachel would be right there for Quinn to wrap her arms around. She just wanted to hold the smaller girl. She wanted her warmth. She wanted that feeling of contentment she's only had by being next to Rachel. Was it really asking too much to fall asleep feeling content and wake up the next morning still feeling content because Rachel was still in her arms?

A soft knock on the door interrupted Quinn's overall mental breakdown.

"Come in," Quinn squeaked, attempting to find her voice.

Rachel poked her head in the room.

"I see you haven't moved much, "Rachel giggled.

"I was just…thinking…a lot…too much," Quinn mumbled.

Rachel smiled easily and stepped into the room. She crossed to stand right in front of Quinn before taking the blonde's hand.

"Well don't over think it. I wouldn't want your brain to explode with whatever's got you thinking so hard."

Quinn swallowed thickly and nodded.

"I just wanted to say I'm really glad you're here. I made it back to my room and started to climb in bed but…it felt all wrong. I can't sleep thinking you might still be angry with me. I really hope you're not and I'm sorry if I made you feel unwanted," Rachel confessed, tracing circles on the back of Quinn's hand with her thumb.

Quinn tried to stretch her mouth into a smile to reassure the other girl that she wasn't angry. She couldn't quite do it though. Not when everything in her was fighting against the need to pull the tiny girl closer and kiss her. So instead she just nodded again. Rachel seemed to understand though that Quinn wasn't angry because a grin blossomed on the brunette's face.

"Like I said, I'm very happy you're here. You're definitely wanted," Rachel whispered.

Quinn nearly collapsed as the shorter girl closed the distance between them and brushed her lips gently on Quinn's cheek, suspiciously close to the corner of her mouth. Rachel pulled back blushing as Quinn valiantly tried to control her breathing and keep her heart in her chest. The blonde wondered if Rachel could literally see her heart pounding like crazy.

"Good night, Quinn," Rachel husked, before gracefully backing out the door, keeping eye contact with Quinn the entire way.

Quinn nodded, unable to speak. Rachel grinned and shut the door.

Conclusion number one, Quinn would not be sleeping well that night. Conclusion two, the guest room really sucked. And conclusion three, she was completely one hundred percent, head over heels, crazy gay for Rachel Berry.

_AN: So I busted some ass the past two days and managed to write 5 chapters! Crazy right! Well I had a feeling the Regionals episode would be epic and I wanted to be epic as well. As for Glee tonight, I loved so many things. I don't think Quinn was actually being mean b/c she's crazy obsessed with Prom Queen or whatever. It was pretty clear to me that she knows Rachel is destined for big things and thinks that her own life will be stuck in Lima. I thought it was great and straight out of a fanfic lol. Also when I mapped out the idea of my story, I really wanted Rachel to be a song writer. It's been done in many fanfics and now on the show. Plus if Rachel and Quinn can't actually write a song together on the show then I get to take my own liberties now and let them write tons of songs all about each other haha. So I will be including songs in this fic. I'm sure they won't be "Get It Right" or anything ;) but songs are such a huge part of Rachel that I have to include that aspect! This is definitely the last chapter I will update for a few more days. I've gotta get back to work and quite putting things off for Glee. But since Glee is on hiatus for the next few weeks at least I'll always have Tuesdays to write and update. Hopefully that will help all of us pass the time until new episodes! Hope you all enjoyed my crazy writing burst as well as my excessively long author's notes these past chapters (sorry for my crazy). Please review! Thank you for reading! I love your virtual chocolates! Thank you, come again!_


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"So did you and Q get it on last night?" Santana asked, casually as she pretended to look through a rack of clothing.

Rachel stopped dead in her tracks, nearly causing the Latina to walk right into her.

"What? No. I mean no. Oh my goodness! Santana, you can't just ask people those things," Rachel squeaked.

"So tonight then?" Santana smirked.

Rachel rolled her eyes and slapped the Latina's arm almost playfully. That morning had been decidedly awkward as she and Quinn ate breakfast. Rachel knew she was being a little forward the night before and wasn't sure how to proceed. 'You're definitely wanted?' What the hell had she been thinking? Why not just tell Quinn right then and there, 'Hey Quinn, I'd like to jump your bones. Is that cool?' No, she couldn't do that. The blonde definitely didn't need to know about all of the slightly risqué thoughts and dreams she had been having about her before Quinn's arrival. In fact, it seemed like her entire break so far had been spent fantasizing about having Quinn Fabray in her bed. At breakfast, she was extra cautious of everything she said, looking out for double entendres and slight slips of the tongue. She felt like her every thought, her every desire was displayed openly on her face. Needless to say, breakfast had been awkward.

Quinn had nearly jumped at her phone when Brittany called to invite them to the mall. Rachel had wanted to spend the day with Quinn. She needed to know where the girl's head was. Clearly, Rachel, herself, was in far over her head. She was practically in love with her best friend and lusting after her at every opportunity. For the girl who stopped at nothing to get what she wanted, it was strange to have no idea how to proceed. The shopping opportunity seemed to ease the tension a little. Maybe if they went shopping with their friends then that night they could actually discuss Quinn's sexuality and get a grip on where their current relationship was residing. Too many almost kisses had happened by now for them to go on pretending they weren't attracted to each other.

Brittany and Quinn were on the opposite side of the store. It had been Brittany's idea to get new outfits for their New Year's Eve party. Originally the plan was to have the party at Brittany's. Then her parents made plans and didn't want the dancer to have a party at their home while they were away. Santana's house was a no. Her mother was okay with her and Brittany's relationship, but the Latina's father still wasn't speaking to his daughter. Tension is a terrible component for a New Year's party…or so, Santana had said. It was then decided, despite Rachel's adamant protests, that the party would be relocated to the Berry residence. Puck would provide alcohol, Artie the music, Mercedes and Tina the snacks, and Santana and Brittany would be responsible for the setting the mood/ambience of the party, including décor of the house and its host. Apparently everything in Rachel's own wardrobe was not appropriate for the type of party Santana and Brittany wanted to throw.

"Don't ever think you can slap me again, Berry. But in the spirit of the coming New Year, I'm gonna let that one slide…especially since you're so generously letting us use your house for the party," Santana glared.

"I'm not- I don't- this is a terrible idea."

"You'll be singing a different tune after you get laid," Santana practically sang while pulling out a skirt from the rack and holding it up to Rachel's body.

"I will be doing no such thing," Rachel replied firmly before ripping the skirt from Santana's hands and putting it back on the rack.

"Whatever. That skirt looked like crap on you anyway. Why do you have to be so damn short?"

On the opposite side of the store, Quinn was giggling at something Brittany said. The Latina snapped her attention to her girl and smiled slightly. Rachel, too, smiled in Quinn's direction.

"And don't worry, Berry. Everybody gets laid at a Lopez party," Santana declared proudly.

Rachel's eyes ran up and down Quinn while her mouth watered slightly. The blonde had her head tossed back in laughter and Rachel couldn't help but stare at the glorious neck. Wouldn't she love to run her tongue along said neck? Get a little taste of Quinn Fabray? The smaller brunette flushed at the thought while Santana's smirk grew. These were exactly the kind of thoughts that would get her in trouble. This is why breakfast was so awkward. She needed to keep her hormones in check!

"Trust me, everybody's getting laid," Santana chuckled.

Rachel shook her head and cleared her throat, "I can assure you that I will not partake in any such activity. I've remained chaste for quite a while and intend on staying that way until I am in a committed relationship with someone whom I've fallen deeply in love with. The next time I have intercourse it will be a beautiful act shared with someone special as a physical expression of our emotional intimacy," Rachel stated.

"Physical expression- dear lord, woman! What the hell are you talking about? Sex is good. It feels good. It's just good. Sex with a girl is even better than good. Take me and B, for example. I've had lots of sex with lots of dudes but nobody rocks my world better than that crazy blonde over there. I'm just saying, for somebody who is an out and proud lesbian, you'd think you'd know what it is exactly you're being proud of. Sex it up with a chick. You'll like it."

"I am attracted to women, therefore, I am a lesbian. It does not mean I need to jump into bed with every woman who propositions me," Rachel countered.

"I'm not saying hop in the sack with the first girl who spreads her legs for you," Santana groaned.

"You don't have to say it so crudely," Rachel muttered.

"Whatever. Point is, if you're gonna be a lesbian, don't be afraid to be a lesbian. You like chicks. You might find that you like having sex with them, too. I'm not telling you to be a whore. I'm just telling you not to pass up a good opportunity. Chicks like Fabray don't stay single for long. She's hot stuff. If I didn't have my Britts, I'd be all over that shit. You've been lucky cuz the girl had been trying to figure out where her head is. I got a newsflash for ya, Treasure Trail, Barbie Princess is totally gay for you. She's worked that out all on her own. She's got her head on straight, or not so straight, however you want to put it."

"What a clever little pun," Rachel snorted in disgust.

"Straight, not straight, who cares. What I'm trying to tell you is Fabray's got herself a little sweet spot for some Berry. If that sweet spot includes a wet one, I'd jump on that before someone else does. She knows she likes chicks. More importantly, she knows she likes you. Do something about it and put the rest of us out of our misery. I don't wanna watch the Quinn and Rachel 'will they, won't they' show for eight seasons. Get it on or move on. Otherwise, I'm bored," Santana finished.

"She's my best friend," Rachel replied softly.

"And from experience, that makes it way better. If you tell anyone I said that or that I went all soft and shit on you about B, I will kill you. But it's true. You have friends, Berry. You don't want to jump all of them. Just suck it up and make a move. It'll be even better because she's your best friend and you care and all that shit. Who knows, maybe it's all that emotional intimacy crap you spouting off about."

Rachel looked back over at Quinn and Brittany. She smiled slightly watching the two blondes goofing off. Quinn's eyes were dancing with happiness watching Brittany try on an ugly hat and strut in front of the mirror.

"You and I…we've had our issues in the past, but I have any idea of what you're going through. I messed up way too much with Britt and I'm super lucky I got another chance. I don't want to see that happen to you and Q. Barbie is almost as annoying as you sometimes, but I actually kinda like the girl. She's my friend in some twisted way. So ya know…just don't wait too long…but I swear if you repeat any of this shit, I'm coming after you so hard," Santana threatened.

Quinn wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes as Brittany placed a ridiculous hat on the shorter blonde's head.

"You could wear that," Brittany giggled.

Quinn looked in the mirror at the huge fuzzy beret on her head and laughed again. She shook her head and placed it back on the hat rack. Brittany skipped over to the dresses.

"What about one of these?" Brittany asked, pulling out a shimmery silver dress that looked like it belonged in J-Lo's closet rather than Quinn Fabray's.

"I don't think that's really my style," Quinn chuckled.

"Well we have to make you hot so you and Rachel can do it," Brittany replied.

"We don't have to-wait what?"

Brittany skipped around looking through the dresses examining a few and shoving them back into place.

"Brittany, what do you mean by Rachel and me doing it?" Quinn asked slowly.

Brittany pulled out another dress and held it up to Quinn's body, studying her carefully.

"Brittany," Quinn prodded.

"Yes?" the dancer asked while going back to the rack of clothes.

"What did you mean by that?"

Brittany pulled out another selection but held it up to her own body, "By what?"

Quinn sighed in frustration.

Brittany smiled and grabbed another dress of the rack before dragging Quinn to the dressing room with her.

"Try this on," Brittany handed Quinn a dress and pulled them both into the same fitting room.

Quinn rolled her eyes and began removing her top while the dancer immediately stripped down and threw on her own selection.

"B, you said something about me and Rachel. What were you meaning?" Quinn asked as she slid her dress over her head.

Brittany mumbled something incoherently. Quinn finished pulling her own dress down to find the dancer was stuck with her arms in the air and the dress on her head. Quinn suppressed the urge to laugh and helped the taller blonde get her dress on properly. Brittany looked Quinn up and down and beamed proudly.

"Come on. You'll see what I mean," Brittany nearly squealed.

The taller girl drug Quinn from the dressing room to the three mirrors at the end of the dressing room.

"S, get over here," Brittany shouted loudly out into the store.

The Latina shrugged, pulling an embarrassed Rachel along with her.

Quinn examined herself in the mirrors. Brittany had excellent taste. The shorter blonde was wearing a tight red dress that clung to every curve. It dipped just low enough between her breasts to hint at cleavage but not look slutty. It was almost shimmery but not quite J-Lo style. The dress came to just above her knees and had low dipping back. She would certainly freeze if she had to go out in Ohio wearing only this in the middle of winter but her a house party at the very place she was staying, she'd never have to go outside. It would be perfect. It was sexy but not slutty enough to make Quinn feel uncomfortable.

Santana and Rachel entered the dressing room area. Santana nearly laughed out loud watching Rachel's jaw drop open.

"Shut your mouth, Berry. It's unflattering for someone with such a huge trap," Santana instructed.

Rachel shut her mouth immediately but couldn't form any words. Quinn found Rachel's eyes in the mirror and blushed at the look she received in return. Rachel's dark eyes were darker than usual, hungrier than usual. She looked absolutely starved, like she could ravish Quinn in any second.

"That's what I meant," Brittany whispered in Quinn's ear.

"You gotta buy that dress, Q," Santana practically demanded.

A speechless Rachel nodded her approval as well.

"Okay," Quinn husked in response, sending shivers up the tiny diva's spine.

"Yay," Brittany squealed and clapped her hands.

"We still gotta fix Berry. She's a walking disaster. Everything I pick out for this girl looks like a train wreck. She's too short and somehow manages to have too much leg for everything. It's insane," Santana grunted.

"I'll do it. You take Q and go pay for this dress. Then go get the party decorations. We'll meet you in the food court," Brittany replied.

"Party decorations? We won't find anything the day before New Year's Eve. The good stuff is gone, B," Santana moaned.

Brittany smiled at her warmly, "I know you'll find something. You won't let me down."

The dancer kissed her sweetly before sending her towards the cash register with a swift slap on the ass. Santana laughed and shook her head. Brittany shoved Quinn back to the fitting room to change her clothes then grabbed Rachel's hand to find the petite brunette a dress. It was bound to be a long day for all of them but soon their New Year's Eve preparations would be complete.

"I'm exhausted," Quinn complained, flopping down on the Berry's comfy couch.

Rachel smiled and nodded before collapsing next to her.

"I knew that Santana and Brittany were in excellent health from their years of cheerleading experience, but I was completely unprepared for their endless stamina. I was practically known from being perpetually happy and upbeat, as well as often mistaken for being on amphetamines while I was in high school. Yet I could not keep up with them. One store after another. Shopping is like a competitive sport for those two. I felt like I had no professional training for such an athletic endeavor while going up against Olympic class athletes. I was certainly at a disadvantage," Rachel rattled off.

Quinn just took it all in, smiling at the endearing girl.

"What?" Rachel asked, pausing mid-rant.

"Nothing," Quinn blushed.

Rachel studied her for a moment, "Seriously? What's got you smiling?"

Quinn flushed even more before replying softly, "Just you. Being here. Listening to you."

Rachel beamed brilliantly while Quinn fought off her own embarrassment at being so open and forward with her feelings.

"Quinn," Rachel grinned.

The blonde quirked her eyebrow.

"Do you really think you're gay?" the brunette asked suddenly.

Quinn immediately burst into laughter. It took a few moments for the blonde to compose herself.

"What kind of a question is that, Rach? Do you really think you're gay?" Quinn giggled.

"Yes I do. And it was a serious question. I'm not trying to enforce a timeline on your own process of self discovery and sexual identity, but I was merely curious as to how said timeline has progressed and if you felt that you're doing less questioning and more coming to terms with your own feelings, attractions, and desires."

Quinn's eyes immediately honed in on Rachel's lips the second the word 'desires' came from those gorgeously plump and kissable lips.

"Quinn?" Rachel questioned, watching the blonde's hazel eyes darken slightly.

Quinn shook her head and gathered her thoughts.

"I'm pretty sure," Quinn replied softly.

"Pretty sure what?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm…I've never been truly comfortable with labels. You can so easily define yourself and you're completely content in that. For me, it's never been about that. Finding the words and then actually saying the words…well that's the terrifying part for me. The feelings, the attractions…the desires, as you put it…those are certainly terrifying in their own right. But they're my feelings. I'm the one experiencing them. I'm the one who is very certain that I'm strongly attracted to women, more strongly attracted to women than men at this time in my life. I know there was a point when I was attracted to guys. I still think some of them are hot. So maybe if I have to define myself, I could be bisexual, but I definitely have a stronger preference for women. Or maybe I am in fact only truly attracted to women but it's easier to say I'm bisexual. I haven't thought about a guy in that way since I started coming to terms with this. Sure, some guys are attractive but I don't feel the same way for them so maybe bisexual isn't the best term for me. See, this is the part that's the scariest for me. Labeling how I feel. Having feelings for a girl…I'm coping with that. I'm embracing it. I know that I'm attracted to women. I know that I have feelings for a girl. But those things are purely felt by me. They're purely for me. It just seems like labeling myself isn't for me. It's for everyone else. So the rest of the world can know what category to put me in or something. That's the difficult part. It's the part that scares me the most. Saying it out loud and letting the rest of the world slap some label on me. My feelings, my desires, that's mine. I own it. The label seems like something the rest of the world owns about me," Quinn explained carefully.

"You have feelings for a girl?" Rachel asked, her perfect pitch rising ever so slightly with each word.

Quinn paled and couldn't look Rachel in the eye. It could be her perfect opportunity to tell Rachel how she felt. Would she be a little chicken shit again?

Rachel bit her lip as she watched Quinn struggle with something to say. The brunette moved a little closer, a little too close for merely best friends.

"Tell me you're gay, Quinn. You're allowed to say it. You can admit it," Rachel almost pleaded.

Quinn swallowed hard but couldn't say the words.

"I don't want to force some label on you. I just want to know where your head's at. Tell me how you feel. Just say it. Tell me. You're gay. You're a lesbian. You're bisexual. Whatever it is that you think you are, it's okay. I'm not forcing you in a label, I just need to hear it. Tell me how you feel," Rachel tried so desperately to keep the pleading out of her voice, but she was begging Quinn to put it out there.

"I like women."

"You like women," Rachel echoed, moving closer.

"I'm attracted to women."

"You are," Rachel replied.

"I'm…" Quinn struggled.

"Yes?"

"I'm gay," Quinn whispered.

A few tears slide down the blonde's cheeks.

"You're gay," Rachel smiled, her own eyes filling with tears.

"I'm gay," Quinn repeated again.

Rachel nodded and smiled, wiping Quinn's tears from her cheeks gently with the pads of her thumbs. Quinn nodded and wrapped her arms around Rachel tightly, crying into the smaller girl's embrace.

"Is that really the first time you've said it out loud?" Rachel asked after a few moments, still keeping Quinn wrapped in her arms.

Quinn nodded into Rachel's collarbone.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to let me be here. For letting me be the first to hear you say it."

"Well I wouldn't get used to hearing it all the time," Quinn mumbled.

"Quinn, this is a huge step for you."

Quinn pulled back enough to look into the brunette's face.

"I know that, Rach. I'm not discrediting it. I still feel like it's unfair that I have to place some label on myself for the rest of the world to judge me by."

"But sometimes that's a part of being gay," Rachel pressed.

"I get that. I understand that. If people are going to judge me, let them judge me for my actions. Let me love another girl. Let me date a girl. Judge me for that. If you want to hate me, hate because I won't hide my actions and my feelings. But it's just a word. Don't hate me for a word. That's even dumber than hating me for being who I am. I just don't like labels. I am gay. I am. I can't hide that. I won't hide that. I'm completely okay with that. I'm gay. But do I really have to preach it in the streets? Do I have to tell everyone that I meet that I'm gay? Do I have to have some big moment with Brittany and Santana and the rest of our friends? Don't you think they'd get it if I started dating a girl?"

"Don't you think they'd ask? I know you feel pressured or imprisoned by labels but if you can't even tell your own friends that you're gay, who's to say you're not just experimenting? Maybe you're just dating a girl. Who's to say this is who you are. Dating a girl is who you date. Being proud of being gay, not being afraid to say to people that you are gay…that's who you are," Rachel explained.

"No, Rach. That's who you are. You're the one who is comfortable with your label. You're the one who would wave your gay flag proudly. I just want to like who I like. I just want to be with the person who makes me happy. If I'm attracted to women, then I'm gay. If I want to be with women and I don't want to be with men, then I'm a lesbian. But for me to feel confident in that, I don't need to tell the whole world. It's not about the rest of the world. It's just about me. It's just who I am. I don't need to broadcast it and I don't need a coming out party. I'm not saying I will hide it but why can't my actions be louder than my words. Aren't actions always far louder than any words?" Quinn asked.

"So you want to date a girl in order to come out to your friends?"

"I don't want to come out to my friends at all. I just want to be with the person who makes me happy. They'll figure it out themselves if they haven't already. I want to fall in love with a person, not a gender. I don't think I need a formal announcement. I think it just needs to happen and my friends are all bright enough that they'll figure it out."

"But you're not ashamed right? This isn't about your parents or something?" Rachel questioned, confused.

Quinn fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"It isn't about anyone other than me. I've never been one to make public announcements. I don't strive for the spotlight and center of attention. If my sexuality goes under the radar, so be it. It's not because I'm ashamed. It's because I'm just not that type of person. I'm not knocking the type of person you are. You're very comfortable in your own skin and I've always admired that about you. You're very sure of who you are and you don't shy away from telling anyone that you're a lesbian. You're very brave and so much stronger than most people give you credit for me. I'm not running scared of the label or how I feel. I'm just not sure I'm the type of person who can easily list of my accomplishments without feeling odd. I'm not the type of person who can easily say this is how I define myself, now act accordingly. I'm the girl who acts first and thinks later. I'm the girl who feels first and labels later. I don't think my way is better. I don't think your way is wrong. I think your way of coming out, or maybe not your actual coming out, but your way of perceiving and acknowledging your sexuality works for you. I will always be slightly understated about most things in my life. It's just who I am. But that doesn't mean I will, by any means, shy away from my feelings just because they're understated," Quinn struggled with putting her thoughts into words that wouldn't offend Rachel but still get her point across.

Rachel nodded slowly, "But you are gay. You're not going to hide that."

Quinn laughed shaking her head at her ever persistent best friend.

"I'm not going to broach the subject with my family just yet, not in words or actions. I'm not ready for that. But I won't hide from my friends. I won't hide from strangers. I won't hide from people at school…if that's what you're wondering, I won't stay in the proverbial closet forever. I can't handle my parents yet. But yes, Rachel, I am gay. I'm just not planning on announcing it everywhere in quite the same way you do," Quinn giggled.

Rachel seemed satisfied with that answer and before long both girls were dropping off to sleep on the couch. Quinn was the one who finally stood up and pulled Rachel by the hand up the stairs and to Rachel's room. Neither of them spoke of the guest room or sleeping arrangements. Rachel took her pajamas to the bathroom and changed right after she threw a pair of her pj's to Quinn who changed in Rachel's room. Neither girl even acknowledged that Quinn had her own pajamas in the guest room that she could easily grab and change into. Instead, both just pretended the guest room was nonexistent. Quinn joined Rachel in the bathroom to brush her teeth as they both washed their faces and prepared for bed, exchanging small smiles and shy glances in the mirror. They barely spoke the entire process. After they were both clean and fresh, Rachel took Quinn's hand and led her back to the brunette's bedroom. Rachel hit the light as Quinn shut the door. The tiny brunette led them to the bed where she pulled back the covers so they both could slide in. Her hand never left Quinn's even as the blonde wrapped their joined hands around Rachel's body, spooning her. The guest room was unnecessary.

"Good night, Rachel," Quinn whispered into the darkness.

Rachel squeezed her hand slightly.

"Good night, Quinn."

_AN: And I'm back. I had the craziest week at work ever! Absolutely insane (on the plus side, I met Aaron Sorkin!) but that's neither here nor there. I came home from work tonight and realized HOLY CRAP IT'S TUESDAY! And I promised an update so I gathered up my notes (from the napkin I made my storyline on), changed into my pjs, and put on my Nasim Joon playlist (yes, I've made a playlist to help me write). Here is my Tuesday update! It's a little quick and I hope I still did it justice even though I was pushing to get this out due to my self-imposed timeline. Anyways, I'm finally off work tomorrow so I'm hoping to update again tomorrow evening but I couldn't disappoint on my Tuesday promise! Hope you enjoy! Please review! As always, thank you come again!_


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Quinn woke up the next morning to the faint smell of coconut and vanilla. She inhaled deeply and smiled before opening her eyes to take in her surrounding. She slept in Rachel's room. She was in Rachel's bed. She was wrapped securely around the tiny brunette. Of course, coconut is Rachel's shampoo. The vanilla would be the diva's body lotion. It all made sense. Quinn unconsciously tightened her hold on the brunette and buried her face in the back on the other girl's head. This is how every morning should start, waking up next to Rachel Berry.

Rachel, meanwhile, had been awake for several minutes. The night before she had somehow turned off her usual 7am workout alarm but that didn't mean she could turn off her internal alarm just as easily. When the first rays of sunshine peaked inside her bedroom window, Rachel woke up feeling a little warmer than usual. Her hand was still tightly clasped in Quinn's and the blonde's arm was thrown across Rachel protectively. The brunette had smiled and shifted back a little closer into Quinn's warmth, relishing the moments before the blonde would inevitably wake and they would be forced to separate. With Quinn's entire length flushed up against Rachel's back, the diva felt safe and comfortable. She hadn't slept quite as well in a very long time. She felt rested. She felt…loved? Well thoughts like that would certainly keep complicating their friendship. But did all friends spoon all night long? Did purely platonic friends cuddle in the same bed? Did purely platonic friends almost kiss each other virtually every time they were alone? No. Still, Rachel could enjoy these quite moments in the morning before more questions would arise and more answers needed to come out. Snuggling into the warmth of Quinn Fabray, Rachel thought this was exactly how every morning should start.

When Quinn tightened her hold on Rachel and inhaled deeply, the brunette knew they were both awake. Neither wanted to speak up to ruin the moment. They both knew the other was no longer sleeping, but why disturb the peace with useless words. They could just stay like this for a few more minutes. After all, the day would only get crazier the second they left the bed. It was New Year's Eve. There was a lot to do that day to get ready for the party that night. Who knows when they would truly get another moment alone together to enjoy each other's company? That's all they were doing. Enjoying each other's company, each other's warmth…each other's spooning. Yeah, not fooling anybody but again, why should they complicate things? Just enjoy the moment.

The shrill ring of Quinn's telephone ended everything. Quinn groaned and rolled away from Rachel who immediately turned on her back so she wouldn't have to feel the true loss of warmth along her spine as quickly.

"I hate Santana," Quinn mumbled, searching for her phone on the stand at her side of their bed.

Her side of their bed…that has a nice ring to it.

Meredith Brook's "Bitch" kept blaring into the room while Quinn fumbled to silence it.

"Really Meredith Brooks?" Rachel giggled.

"It seemed fitting," Quinn replied with a soft chuckle.

The moment was interrupted again by Rachel's phone. Both girls looked at each other and started giggling uncontrollably as the theme for the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz rang out from the brunette's phone.

"Really nice, Rach," Quinn laughed.

"It seemed fitting," Rachel smirked.

Then Quinn's phone rang again this time from a different caller. Kesha's 'Tik Tok' filled the room.

"It's Britt," Quinn smiled.

Rachel nodded for her to answer it.

"I knew you bitches were ignoring me," Santana snapped as Quinn put her on speaker phone.

"If you knew we were ignoring you, why keep calling?" Quinn countered.

"Because B wants to have breakfast with you idiots and I'm forced to hang out with you because she likes you guys."

"You could just admit that you actually like us, too," Rachel teased.

"Berry? What the hell, Q? Speaker phone? I swear, if you two are still holed up in Berry's bed all snuggled up and shit while Britt kicked me out of my cuddles to call you, I'll be super pissed. I need my B time and she insists on breakfast and wouldn't let me get my cuddle on unless I called you shits first."

"Get your cuddle on? You big softie," Quinn laughed.

"Fuck you, Q. And you too, Berry. You disgust me with your friendly sleepovers. Whatever, I'm sure you spooned all night," Santana growled.

Quinn rolled her eyes while Rachel blushed.

"I can assure you that nothing tawdry or indecent happened between Quinn and I last night, but we would love to accompany you for breakfast," Rachel replied.

"Because we like Brittany and want to see her…you, on the other hand, we can do without," Quinn snipped.

"Love you too, Q. We'll be over in a bit. We're making breakfast at your place, Berry. Get the pans and shit ready. My girl wants pancakes," Santana ordered and hung up.

"She's so pleasant first thing in the morning," Quinn deadpanned.

"She's pleasant at all hours," Rachel joked.

Quinn stretched before settling back under Rachel's covers just as the brunette hopped up out of the bed.

"Come on, can't sleep in all day. We have to get ready for our guests," Rachel chirped.

"Your guests. I'm technically a guest here. I can sleep while you make breakfast," Quinn teased.

Rachel huffed and put her hands on her hips. Quinn loved when the little diva had mini-tanturms. It was adorable to see Rachel huff and pout around the room while gathering up their clothes from the day before and picking out a new outfit. She bustled around the room loudly just in case Quinn seriously thought about going back to sleep. The blonde had no intentions of sleeping though, just watched Rachel with amusement. Rachel stomped all over the room and changed her clothes.

"Are you seriously going to stay there all day? The girls will be here any minute. I have to get out the pans and the ingredients to make sure we make Vegan pancakes. I know Santana would not be prepared as to adhere to my diet requirements. And you're just staying in bed all day? We have a party to prepare for as well," Rachel ranted.

Quinn fought back her smirk as Rachel stomped her foot impatiently.

"Get up," Rachel whined.

Quinn couldn't keep the smirk off her face then. This was too much fun. She shook her head with said smirk firmly planted on her cheeks.

Rachel narrowed her eyes and growled before launching herself at the blonde, attempting to pull her from the bed. Quinn giggled as she tugged on Rachel. A small tug of war began with Rachel trying to pull Quinn up and the blonde trying to pull the brunette down onto the bed. Eventually with gravity on her side, Quinn won with a particularly harder tug sending Rachel tumbling on top of her. Quinn chuckled as Rachel squirmed and tried to get up again. Quinn held her firmly in place until Rachel gave up her fight. Finally, the brunette lifted her head enough to look Quinn in the face.

"Hi," Quinn grinned.

Rachel fought valiantly against her mirroring smile, but just as with the tug of war, she lost the battle. She beamed brilliantly back at Quinn.

"I couldn't let you go with a proper good morning," Quinn teased.

Rachel pushed up on her arms to get level with Quinn's face.

"So good morning, Rachel," Quinn husked, tucking a stray hair behind Rachel's ear.

The brunette flushed as her eyes drifted back and forth between Quinn's hazel eyes and plump pink lips.

"It's polite to say it back," Quinn reminded with a tiny smile.

"Good morning, Quinn," Rachel whispered, suddenly feeling shy, being so close to the blonde and directly on top of her.

"Much better," Quinn grinned.

They stayed silent, eyes tracing each other's faces, smiling gently. Good morning indeed. The doorbell rang breaking them from the moment.

"That's probably S & B," Quinn stated, making no attempt to move.

Rachel nodded, not moving either.

The doorbell rang again.

"I should really get that," Rachel replied.

"I guess so."

It took a third ring of the doorbell for Rachel to move. The doorbell rang over and over the entire way for Rachel to get downstairs and to the front door. Quinn rolled her eyes at the incessant ringing but never moved from the bed as she willed her stomach to stop flipping.

"Took you long enough. Think you could squeeze in a quickie?" Santana's voice traveled into Rachel's room from the front door. "Put your clothes on, Q, and get your ass in gear!"

Quinn groaned and finally got out of bed.

"Hi, Rachel," Brittany squealed, wrapping her arms around the petite brunette while Santana barged into the house.

"Good morning, Brittany. Make yourself at home, Santana," Rachel said dryly as the Latina went back to the kitchen and immediately began searching for all the necessary breakfast supplies.

"Screw you, Berry. I'm starved and my girl's got to eat," Santana retorted.

"We can make two separate batches if you want, but I insist on having Vegan pancakes."

"Hell no. I'm not messing with that weird crap."

"Oh, I want to try Vegan stuff," Brittany bounced on her heels, delighted.

"Fine. Vegan it is," Santana replied gruffly.

"Such a pushover, S," Quinn laughed from the doorway.

"Good of you join us, Q. Finally remember how your legs work or did Berry screw the feeling right out of them?"

"I believe that was almost a compliment to my sexual prowess. So while inaccurate, I suppose I should thank you for that, Santana," Rachel grinned triumphantly while the Latina glared and pretended to gag.

"I didn't mean it in the good way. I meant you probably bad-fucked her legs into paralysis."

"Language, please. This is still my home," Rachel corrected.

Quinn remained in the doorway, blushing, not sure how to respond to the conversation. Rachel seemed un-phased by Santana's insistence that the two had slept together. Quinn, however, wasn't having as easy a time overlooking it. She felt her stomach squirm a little in uncertainty, her father's voice immediately coming to mind. She couldn't let herself get caught up in those thoughts. The previous night she had finally admitted aloud that she was gay. She couldn't keep progressing a step and taking two backwards. She was gay. A part of being gay meant eventually having sex with a woman…possibly even Rachel. That thought made her heart pound. She definitely had strong feelings for Rachel and depending on the day, she could very possibly be in love with the girl. Yes, she desired her. It's only natural to think that someday…well there were possibilities. If Santana wanted to joke about such possibilities, it was just Santana's usual ribbing and teasing. No reason to go running back into the proverbial closet. Santana was just being Santana. Quinn couldn't let herself be scared of this anymore. Last night had been a huge step. She wouldn't go back.

"I'm so happy we're all here. I love pancakes," Brittany smiled, wrapping her arms around Quinn in a tight hug.

Thank God for Brittany and her well-timed hugs. That was exactly what Quinn needed to calm the voices in her head. Someone to take her out of her head and back into the moment. She needed to enjoy this time with her best friends, making Vegan pancakes on New Year's Eve. They were going to have a great party tonight with all their closest friends. She had to just keep living in the moment and stop overanalyzing.

Breakfast had been a huge disaster but in the best way possible. The vegan pancakes were not what Brittany had been expecting. She thought vegan was a type of berry because Santana had bitched so often about Vegan Berry. Needless to say, the dancer was a little disappointed to find that vegan only meant it lacked animal products and did not mean a special fruit added to her pancakes. So Santana made a separate batch of pancakes for Brittany that included blueberries and a lot of muttering. The Latina argued with Rachel the entire time on the proper way to flip pancakes ending with Santana showing Rachel the proper way to flip the bird instead. Quinn had argued with Santana over Rachel's veganism in an attempt to take up for their hostess. In return, Santana flung pancake batter into Quinn's hair ending in a strange wrestling match involving spatulas and some hair pulling. Despite all of that, they ended up eating pancakes with laughter and actually had a good time. The kitchen was a mess. Rachel ranted and raved for approximately ten minutes about the mess that Quinn and Santana's fight had produced. Her rants ended when Santana shoved a blueberry into Rachel's open mouth and then said 'eat the damn blueberry and shut up before I kill you' to which Rachel sat in silence chewing the blueberry. All in all, it was a good morning.

It seemed strange now to imagine that Santana hadn't been a part of their group all semester. She and Quinn bickered and fought like sisters. The more they teased and harped on each other, the closer they actually seemed to get. Brittany and Santana were like a match made in heaven. The Latina would get fired up and insult everyone only to be calmed by the blonde and then apologize to everyone per Brittany's request. It never ceased to amaze Quinn just how soft Santana really was when it came to Brittany. The slightest squeak of unhappiness sent the other girl into a tizzy trying to figure out what was wrong and how to correct the problem. Anything for Brittany's happiness, even going out of her way to make blueberry pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse just for the dancer. Then there was, of course, Rachel and Santana's dynamic. The two moved around each other seamlessly. They could trade barbs and insults but shake it off just as quickly as Quinn and Santana, yet there was something else. Santana's insults were only surface deep. Quinn noticed how the Latina was protective of Rachel in public, as if she was not only aware of Rachel's tiny stature but went out of her way to make sure no one else overlooked the tiny girl or somehow stepped on her. As if it would be so easy for someone to actually get near Rachel in public. Yes, she was tiny but she was loud enough that it would be hard not to notice the girl. But still, Santana seemed to constantly hover just within reach in case something should happen like another Triple C situation and the petite brunette might need Santana to jump in to her defense physically. It was well known that Quinn could and would defend Rachel verbally if ever needed. But Santana seemed intent on being the protector of the group. Quinn would easily take a bullet for Rachel if it came down to it. She'd jump into a fight in a heartbeat to protect the girl. Somehow it just seemed that Santana was ready to jump in even before Quinn, maybe to protect them both. She seemed to sense how much Rachel meant to Quinn and vice versa. Quinn noticed that Santana was even the first rush for ice when Rachel burnt her hand ever so slightly on the handle of one of the pans that morning. She'd barely even burnt herself and a little cold water would do the trick but still Santana had grabbed the ice and immediately been there to take care of the tiny brunette.

Despite all their differences, they just worked as a group. Santana was their fearless protector. Brittany was their heart and their ease. She could calm any of them with just a hand placed on their arms. Quinn was their front man. People would assume she was their leader. She seemed to have reign over all of them in some way. Just like a Fabray, she was a 'take charge' kind of girl. She was the brains of their group without question. Rachel, however, was the true leader. Quinn may have been the brains but Rachel was always planting the seeds of idea in Quinn's head to begin with. The tiny girl, who they all felt something for, who had been so damaged by everyone in her past, who needed the most comfort and protection, was actually their strongest asset. She was their unspoken leader and she was the very soul of the group, the glue that kept them all together.

After breakfast, Quinn and Santana had to stay in the kitchen and clean up their mess while Brittany and Rachel began decorating the living room and her daddies' downstairs 'Oscar Room' for the party. Rachel had two parties in high school. Both were more or less a bust. She'd yet to have a really fun party. She was hoping this could be the first of many great Rachel Berry parties with her group of friends. That was the main difference between the prior two parties and now…she actually had real friends now.

The first party, the glee club had all shown up. It was supposed to be a chance for Rachel to unwind. Her fathers had left town and she'd never done anything wrong. Finn and Puck had talked her into having a party. Puck brought the alcohol, as usual. The entire glee club had shown up which had surprised Rachel but she supposed it had been different since Finn invited them. Every time she had a birthday party or an Oscar-watch party or a Tony-watch party, nobody showed up. Several people had gotten incredibly drunk. One girl had thrown up all over Rachel's bathroom leaving the brunette to clean up after everyone else all night. Rachel didn't have a sip of alcohol that night. It was a terrible party. Finn and Puck had a great time. Rachel spent the whole night worrying about what her parents would say if they ever found out. Luckily they never did and the party ended fairly early, leaving her plenty of time to clean up. She vowed she would never have a party again even though she hadn't truly rebelled. She hadn't had a sip of alcohol at her first party.

The second party had been the summer before her senior year. Once again Finn and Puck talked her into throwing a party when her fathers left town. It wasn't a planned vacation. One had to go to Columbus for a convention and the other got called out to help at a hospital three towns over after a terrible flash flood had left them understaffed and overbooked. She didn't think it was a great idea to throw a party when the reason her fathers were gone was so terrible, still Puck and Finn made a very convincing team and she hadn't actually wanted to spend an entire weekend alone.

It was a very small party with a few members of the glee club, Santana, Brittany, Finn, Puck, and a couple of their friends from the more popular circle. By this time, she was part of the popular crowd or at least on the outskirts of it. She and Finn had been dating for quite some time and Santana had been her semi-friend for the better part of that summer. The Latina played a heavy part in convincing Rachel to have the party as well. It ended up being a little crazier than Rachel had intended and it was the same night she lost her virginity to Finn. She had been very drunk. He had been drunk. Things just got out of hand. She had deeply regretted it the next day and spent the entire day cleaning her house and trying desperately not to feel bad about the loss of her virginity to a boy she was only kind of in love with. Sure, at the time she thought she had loved him but she still knew they weren't the end game. He wasn't in her final picture. She really wanted him to be but she always knew something was off in their relationship. So she spent that whole day battling a hangover and wondering why her relationship wasn't the way it should be. It was also the same day that she started realizing what it all meant and began questioning her sexuality.

So yes, all in all, her previous parties weren't the greatest. Still, Rachel had a feeling this party would be better. She now knew exactly who she was. She had wonderful best friends. Puck had proved to be a better support system than she thought he would. Even Artie and Brittany had proven to be fantastic friends. It took her several months to learn to trust all of these people again, but they were her friends. They would stick by her now. Plus, she had Quinn who was without a doubt the best friend she ever had. Even Santana could be considered her friend again. This party would be amazing!

By eight o'clock that night, the Berry residence was ready to go. The four girls had cleaned the house and decorated for the night. Brittany and Santana left briefly to get their things then came back to get ready with Quinn and Rachel. It was strange for Rachel to have friends who wanted to come to her house and spend the entire day with her doing things like cleaning and decorating. Yet, that's exactly what happened. Not only that, she had friends who volunteered to get ready at her house, to help each other get ready. This is what she had always wanted in high school: a close group of friends. She finally had her own baby sitter's club type group. When she was younger she saw the movie Now and Then and thought that's what her life had been missing. She needed girlfriends. Sex and the City only reinforced this idea and try as she might, Rachel never had a group of girlfriends. She had Santana briefly but her only friends of high school were Puck and Finn. The tiny brunette was on cloud 9 the entire time the girls were getting ready, primping each other, doing each other's hair, painting nails, doing makeup. It's like life was finally falling into place for her. Still, she couldn't help feeling like something would go wrong. She was merely waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things couldn't honestly be this good. Somehow, she knew, call it her sixth sense or whatever because Rachel Berry had always been a little psychic, but she knew that this night would change everything in some way.

"I'm just going to check on my cookies," Rachel called as she fled her room.

Santana had forced her and Quinn apart. The Latina had claimed they would all need space when they were actually getting ready. They painted their nails and did their hair together in Rachel's fathers' large bathroom. They even started their makeup together. Then before getting dressed and finishing their makeup, Santana had insisted that Brittany and Quinn get ready in the guest room while she and Rachel finished up in the brunette's.

"I swear if you go in that guest room, I will end your pathetic existence," Santana warned.

"I won't," Rachel groaned.

Brittany opened the door to the guest room and shut it quickly before Rachel could see inside.

"Wow, Rach. Looking hot," Brittany grinned.

"Thank you, Brittany. You look amazing as always," Rachel beamed.

"Where are you going?"

"Just to check on the cookies."

"Can I come?" Brittany asked.

Rachel nodded as the two made their way downstairs. Meanwhile, Santana snuck into the other room. Quinn was putting the finishing touches on her eyeliner when the Latina came in.

"Hey, S. What's up?" Quinn asked, never tearing her eyes away from her own reflection while she worked.

"Damn, Q. Looking hot."

"Thanks, I think."

"So here's the deal. Tonight's New Year's Eve. It's kind of a big deal. There's this whole thing that goes down at midnight. You know what happens at midnight right?" Santana teased.

"No. What happens at midnight? I've never heard of such a thing?" Quinn deadpanned.

"Whatever. The point is, I know you like Berry."

"What?"

Quinn flushed and smeared her eyeliner, cursing softly as she began fixing the mistake.

"Don't play coy with me, Fabray. I know you like her. So I'm telling you now how this is gonna play out."

Quinn rolled her eyes but turned around to face the other girl. Santana walked further into the room as Quinn pulled herself up and sat on the vanity. The blonde crossed her arms and waited for a second. Santana smirked and sat down on the bed studying her.

"Well? Enlighten me please," Quinn hissed.

"Fine. Berry is a little chicken shit. Now this may surprise you, but I've known this about the midget for years. She'll get up on stage and sing her heart out but sit her down with the girl of dreams…and yes, Q, that would be you…sit her down in front of the girl and she shuts right up. So for this to work it's all gonna come down to you and the effort you're willing to put in. So I'm asking you, do you seriously want Berry? Be honest. I need to know. Is this for real? Not some experimentation thing. She's the first girl you've been openly attracted to, but I need to know. Do you, honest to God, want Berry?" Santana asked.

Quinn swallowed hard and avoided looking at the other girl for a moment.

"W-want her?" Quinn stuttered.

"Yes, want her. In all the millions of ways that could apply including holding her hand in public, being her sweet little girlfriend, and yes, screwing her brains our on the daily," Santana smirked.

Quinn blushed deeply.

"I'll take your blush as yes," Santana laughed.

Quinn hopped off the vanity and stood up. She straightened her posture to look a little more put together and in charge, knowing full well that Santana actually held all the cards in this conversation. Quinn did not like giving up control. She stood a little taller and narrowed her eyes at the dark haired girl.

"So I'm assuming you have a plan and that's why you've approached me about this," Quinn stated.

"Of course I have a plan. I'm Santana freaking Lopez. I always know how to get what I want."

Quinn lowered her stance slightly, lessening her defenses just a little.

"I'm listening," the blonde prodded.

"You need to find another girl as soon as we get back to school," Santana replied firmly.

"Wait- what?"

"Tonight, you're gonna tease each other like crazy and given the amount of booze you will both inevitably consume to avoid consuming each other, you're probably going to do something stupid. Now if I were you, I'd just grab the girl and screw her senseless. But since I'm not you and you're definitely not as cool as me, you'll probably tease each other all night and then happily cuddle and try to pass it off as friendship in the morning. But let's just say by some freak chance, you two do get your freak on. Tomorrow morning rolls around and you'll both pretend like it meant nothing. You were just drunk and acting on hormones. It's easy to downplay if you want to. I've been there. So a little romp in the hay between friends means nothing unless you want to admit it means more. You and Berry are a cut of the same mold. You'd both do anything for your friendship except be the one to push it to the next level. You'll find a way to jump back ten steps if you push it forward a few. Think about that tonight when you're pathetically flirting with each other, knowing you have no intention of taking it further."

"I wouldn't…I mean…well we won't…just shut up," Quinn practically whined.

"I know you. You want to pretend that I don't, but I do. We're a hell of a lot closer then either of us wants to play off. We're friends, Q. It's gross and it sucks but it's true. Somehow, you and I have become friends. So as your friend, I'm telling you this. Berry is a little chicken shit and she'll never fess up how she feels until she knows without a doubt you feel the same. But you're never going to fess up until she does because you've never felt this way about a girl before. This is new territory for you and it's terrifying. How you can be the one to take that leap when you're scared out of your mind about all of it? You're still trying to figure out if this is really how you feel. You're terrified and adding on the pressure of being the one to make the first move, for the first time in this new territory, that's scary as hell," Santana explained.

"How did you…it's a little freaky that you're inside my head like this," Quinn admitted.

"That's because I was you, Q. My parents? They're like your parents. My dad won't speak to me. My mother flipped her shit but she's finally coming around. My dad? I doubt he ever will. So I get it. It's a weird place to be in. But my mistake was when B put it all on the table, I still couldn't say it. I was freaked out. And you're trying really hard not to be freaked. But I saw you this morning in the doorway. You've got a good idea who you are now. You know you're attracted to Rachel. You really like her. But there are moments when you want to just completely freak out. Am I right? Sometimes, you're terrified out of her mind and you just keep pushing forward because you're scared if you stop, you'll go back in the closet forever because that'd be a hell of a lot easier. Right? College is only four years of your life. The friends you make in college, you see for like four years. Some stick around longer but it's just like high school on steroids. How many friends from high school do you still hang out with? But your family's forever. Right? So you can be content being this person you truly want to be while you're with your temporary friends but you know deep down you're stuck with your family forever and if they leave, you think you'll have no one. Am I right? Is it worth it? You could lose the only constant thing you've had in your life. You have friends who will stick by you now but what's they guarantee they'll be around forever. Your high school friends aren't around anymore. But your family's always been there. You don't want to lie about who you are when you're with us because we make it easy. But it's easy to lie when you're with your family. Right? It's easy to freak out when you don't have us. And I can tell you that eventually you'll realize your family's opinion isn't everything. I can tell you that even though it's seems easier, you'd be miserable hiding who you are just to please them. But me telling you that, doesn't make it easier for you to believe it. Am I right?"

Quinn felt a lump rising in her throat as she nodded.

"So this is my supreme advice. Enjoy it right now. Take tonight and live life exactly how you want to. Be with the friends you have right here in the moment. If midnight rolls around and you really wanna kiss Berry, just freaking do it. She'll never have the balls to do it herself. She'll start it but you're gonna be the one who finishes it. You've gotta actually make the move. So tonight, make your move. Kiss the girl at midnight. But if you find that's too scary for you, if the little voices creep back in, if you keep hearing your parents, if you have a mini freak-out, then I've got a solution for you."

"A solution?" Quinn asked.

"Yep, find another girl when we get back to school. Berry only gets her ass into gear when she feels threatened. People have doubted the whole Broadway thing her entire life. It's motivation. Each time somebody says she can't, she tries even harder, and I guarantee she will make it, if only to prove everyone else wrong. So give her a reason to feel threatened. Make her jealous and she'll make her move. When she does, rope her into it all, the dating, the handholding, the cuddling, the works. If she's threatened she'll have to speak up. When she does, you tell her you feel the same and tell her she has to date you. Done and done. Simple as that. You don't have to put yourself out there in some big scary way making the first move. You two get together and then the rest of it won't matter. From experience, the shit with your parents? It sucks. It will always suck. But it will be ten times better with her by your side. The hardest part of it right now is getting her by your side. After you've got that, the rest of it will still be hard but it will be so much easier to take knowing you've the got the girl with you through it all," Santana reasoned.

"Simple as that? There's nothing simple about anything you just said to me. Plus, you want me to use another girl to make Rachel jealous and force her into confronting her feelings for me?"

"Yeah, or else you grow a pair and just tell her yourself but you and I both know that's not something you can do at this point in your life," Santana rolled her eyes.

"Okay, there is nothing simple about any of that. I refuse to use someone to get to Rachel, not to mention force Rachel into a relationship she doesn't want," Quinn argued.

"She does want it! She's just too stupid and scared to say it! We all fucked with her a lot in high school. You're her best friend. She won't take a chance to screw that up. No way. Not for anything. And you don't have the balls to do so somehow you've both got to trick yourselves into being okay with what you feel. If that takes a little manipulation on both your parts so be it, but you'll both be happier in the end if you're together," Santana countered.

"Why do you care so much? I thought Rachel annoyed the shit out of you and you hate her of whatever," Quinn glared, just as frustrated with her own insecurities as Santana's blatant calling her out on them.

"I don't hate her. She's…repeat it and die, especially if you tell the hobbit herself that I said this but…I love Britt, okay. B is my whole freaking world. But next to B? Well fuck it. I'm just gonna say it…Berry is my best friend, alright? Next to B, she's my freaking best friend. And she does annoy the shit outta me. She does dress like a grandma/toddler and it confuses the hell out of me because how can someone actually dress like a grandma and a toddler at the same time? Seriously! And yeah, she's weird as hell…but she's my best friend…and Q, you're…well if anything ever happened to me, I know you'd take care of B better than anybody and you're gonna watch out for Berry no matter what…and…you're…you're pretty alright. I mean I said it before, despite our best efforts, you and I are friends. One might even argue that you and Berry are both my best friends…so I mean…I'd like to see my best friends happy…especially if you're happy together."

"Seriously?"

Santana blushed and ducked her.

"Plus B wants to go on all these lesbo double date things so ya know," Santana finished with a shrug.

"So I'm supposed to make Rachel jealous because we're all your best friends?" Quinn teased.

"Shut it, Fabray. I will cut you."

"Okay but really…you're trying to hook me and Rachel up because you love us. You're like a big loving protector Santana-shaped teddy bear," Quinn laughed.

"I really hate you right now."

"But that's okay because I'm your best friend and you actually don't hate me. In fact, I'd say you love me. You love me….and you love Rachel Berry. Freaky, weird as hell, annoys the shit out of you, Rachel Berry. You love us," Quinn smirked.

"I'll kill you both in your sleep tonight. How's that for love?"

"Alright. Fine. I won't mention it again."

The blonde smiled warmly at the Latina who rolled her eyes and suppressed the urge to gag.

"So my plan?" Santana asked.

"Is stupid. I won't do it," Quinn laughed.

"Fine. Don't listen to perfectly good advice. But tomorrow morning when you and Berry pretend like shit is all fine and dandy and you're not crazy about each other even though you spend all night spooning, just remember who told you how to fix it. Seriously, Q, either grow a pair and tell her how you feel or the second we get back to school you make that girl jealous as hell and she'll come clean. I'm offering you the solution to all your problems. Remember that, tomorrow morning when you're pining away for your best friend and you're both pretending like you're not."

Quinn just shook her head. Brittany entered the room right after.

"Hey, I think Rachel needs help with her makeup. You promised you'd be nice tonight, S," Brittany pouted.

Santana rolled her eyes and stalked out of the room. Quinn sighed as she and Brittany went back to work on getting ready. The party was going to start in about a half an hour.

_AN: And I do believe this is my longest chapter to date. I had a massive headache all day today but forced myself to write. I figured I owed it to my readers and I hoped it would make my head hurt less (didn't really work). I think I'm caffeine withdrawal (gave up coffee for Lent, bad choice). But needless to say, I wrote and wrote and wrote. I'm hoping to update again soon (meaning, before next Tuesday). The NYE party will obviously start in the next chapter and I think it will take maybe two chapters to get through all the fun I have planned for NYE. I guess it's my little tribute to Lea Michele filming the New Year's Eve movie here in the city last week. I've been inspired lol. I know you all are getting very impatient for another kiss. I feel like I'm being a master tease but in the wise words of Quinn Fabray it's all about the teasing...however, I do plan on pleasing soon. Just hang with me a little longer! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter which I'm calling "Ode to Santana Lopez" in my head but I really wanted to get her involved in all of this. The character has just blown up on the show and I am obsessed with her now. Plus Naya has been doing such a fantastic job that I felt it was high time I paid tribute to the wonderfully amusing Santana Lopez! Thank you all for reading. Please review! Your reviews/virtual chocolates feed my writer's soul and make me hungry for more. I have no idea what I'm rambling about but I do love your reviews! As always, thank you come again!_


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Rachel couldn't move. She couldn't process any of it. Things were so going to be different now. She inhaled again, taking in Quinn's shampoo, vanilla with a hint of something uniquely Quinn. She tightened her hold on the blonde and tried to settle the butterflies in her stomach. She knew she was drunk. She knew they were both drunk. The odds of this happening again…well, it could honestly go either way. They could continue the trend of practically jumping each other while intoxicated or they could try it sober next time. They had more than enough near-kiss experiences to last a lifetime. Seriously, it had been like the biggest tease of Rachel's entire life. Dangling the carrot just out of reach of the rabbit or something. It seemed like she was jumping constantly to get to Quinn but always falling short…perhaps another side effect of being so short herself. She always secretly enjoyed being petite. It was easy to get wrapped up in someone else's arms when she was always smaller than them…except having her arms wrapped around Quinn Fabray, this experience is even better. Tiny divas don't get to be the big spoon. She knew she had been probably far too drunk, if she hadn't admitted that before. But this, moments like this, this is why she loved Quinn. Because despite everything, the blonde hadn't been phased at all the night before, in fact she hadn't argued or protested in the least. She let Rachel be the big spoon! Finally Rachel Berry was the big spoon and it was heaven. She felt like she could do anything because Quinn was wrapped up in her arms, letting her be the big spoon! See, this is why she loved Quinn…she loved Quinn? Had this already been established? Was she really that far in? She was completely in love with her best friend.

Rachel sighed into Quinn's hair for the millionth time. Did she dare to even hope that Quinn could feel the same? Maybe this was just 'girls being girls' or whatever that was supposed to mean. Quinn had admitted she was gay. Rachel had been out for quite some time. Simple mathematics should point to the answer easily. One lesbian plus one lesbian equals two lesbians. Two lesbians plus one bed minus a clearly defined relationship equals one complicated situation. One complicated situation multiplied by many near-kisses, and a few not-so-near kisses, equals a huge mess. Add in two other lesbians who seem dead set on putting them together…that equals four lesbians, two in a relationship, two not clearly defined, plus an ex-boyfriend who showed up out of nowhere, plus all of their closest friends sleeping in the same house, plus…okay, this is no longer simple mathematics. Now it's like trying to figure out Calculus while intoxicated. Rachel Berry had trouble with Calculus while sober. The obvious answer is that last night got incredibly out of control.

Time to make sense of everything. How to do that? Start at the beginning.

_**Seven Hours Earlier**_

Rachel ran down the stairs in flurry after the doorbell rang. She took a moment to compose herself and fix her shirt. Then she flung open the door in a dramatic fashion to welcome the first guests to Casa de Berry for what promised to be an amazing night.

"Welcome," Rachel squealed, pulling Puck into the room with excitement.

"Easy there, Killer. Don't over-do it with the spunk already. You gotta ease people into your crazy. I've the alcohol but haven't had the time to drink it, ya know what I'm saying," Puck teased.

"Shut up, Noah. Happy New Year's Eve," Rachel beamed and pecked the boy on the check.

"Yeah, yeah, where do you want the booze? I've got more in the truck. This shit's gonna get crazy tonight!"

Rachel started to show Puck to the kitchen but froze mid-turn as Quinn made her way down the stairs followed closely by Brittany and Santana.

Rachel's jaw nearly dropped, taking in Quinn's dress yet again but this time with her hair and makeup done up to complete the look. If Rachel had flipped during their shopping trip the first time she saw the dress, it was nothing compared to her reaction now. She felt her face heat up as her eyes raked up and down Quinn's figure. She trailed her eyes all the way up Quinn's gorgeous legs to the red dress that hugged her body perfectly, pausing momentarily on the hint of cleavage, up that glorious neck to her face. Her hair was pulled up, exposing said neck and leaving a few loose tendrils to frame her face. Her cheeks were flushed from her light blush as well as the natural flush that seemed to happen every time Rachel's eyes were on her. Her eyes were smoky and dark. But her lips, dear God, plump, full, tempting, bright red lips. Rachel swallowed hard, willing her body to cool down. It was as if someone had magically jacked up the heat in her house to a level beyond bearable. How did it get so hot so sudden? The brunette was practically sweating as her heart thundered in her chest.

"Hum…da…ga…wow," Rachel fumbled for words.

"Rachel, you look…yeah," Quinn replied, eyes darkening as she finally took in the brunette standing by the doorway.

Rachel was wearing dark jeans that hugged her hips perfectly. As much as Quinn loved seeing Rachel in her tiny skirts and impossibly short shorts, there was something undeniably sexy about Rachel Berry in tight jeans. The girl had a great ass. The black shirt she wore scooped down dangerously low in the back but still dipped down in the front as well. It hung off her figure in the most appealing way, exposing just the right amount of the tantalizing tan flesh of her back as well as jutting low between her breasts giving an excellent view of the cleavage she had. Her hair was down and curled, giving her a slightly wild and sexy feel. Smoky eyes that drew focus to the deep brown pools that always seemed to drawn Quinn in. Her brown eyes were nearly black tonight. Pupils blown the second she looked at Quinn, making the blonde's heart flutter and send a shiver up her spine, ending right between her legs. Hello, lust. Welcome back to the party, remind Quinn again just how gay she was for her roommate. God, Rachel was sexy without even trying…now when she was trying? Breathtaking and body-tingles inducing. She had darker red lips not the bright red of Quinn's but a deep crimson. As far as plump tempting lips? Rachel Berry had the trademark for full pouting, teasing, awe-inducing lips that Quinn just wanted to taste.

"Looks like sex is in the room," Puck laughed.

Rachel and Quinn both blushed before Santana nudged Quinn down the stairs.

"You wanna party on the steps all night or join the fun, Q? I'd like to party elsewhere. Get moving," Santana teased.

"You really look amazing, Quinn," Rachel husked as the blonde brushed against her to pass by her on the way to the kitchen.

"Rach, you wanna talk about amazing? God you…" Quinn trailed off with a playful growl.

Rachel shivered in response. Both girls smirked slightly before being interrupted as usual.

"Let's go. This vodka isn't going to put itself in the freezer, Half Pint," Puck called out. "You girls ice the liquor and I'll get the keg from the back of my truck."

Quinn and Brittany went to work immediately with the liquor while Rachel ordered Santana to help her set up cups. The tiny brunette fluttered all around, making the final touches to everything and answering the door as one by one all of their friends started showing up.

By ten, everyone had arrived except Kurt and Blaine. Mercedes had been the first to arrive after Puck. Rachel had promised her guest room to Santana and Brittany, which Mercedes has thrown a fit over, saying that she had traveled further than the two girls and she needed a good place to sleep. After Santana threatened to "beat her ass" to which Mercedes had replied "bite me", Quinn had been forced to intervene saying that Mercedes had full rights to the pull out couch bed in the living room. Puck then made some vaguely crude remark about trying to get the diva to share with him, instead of her usual snarky response, Mercedes had merely blushed.

Artie and Tina had arrived next. They were planning on staying at Artie's, but didn't have a set curfew. His younger brother was grounded while their parents were out of town. Pete, Artie's brother, was a junior in high school and got busted smoking pot. He was under house arrest according to their parents but Artie said he wouldn't tell their parents if Pete went to his friends' party as long as the younger boy didn't drink and promised to be his and Tina's DD later in the night. It was one of the perks of having a younger sibling and being left in charge when the parents left town.

Kurt and Blaine were making the trip to Lima to spend New Year's Eve with their friends. Rachel had actually been surprised when Kurt had called demanding to know her plans and stating that he would be staying in Lima for part of their winter break. She and Kurt hadn't been particularly close but they were friends. Still, the boy lived closer to Cincinnati so his appearance in Lima was a little unexpected to say the least. He had merely called two days prior and stated he would be coming to any event they had. Mercedes had filled him in, Blaine had joined him in Cincinnati just after Christmas to meet Kurt's father and spend New Year's with his boyfriend, but somehow the Hummel family and Blaine were going to be in Lima. It didn't really make sense but Rachel was excited to have more of her friends there no matter what.

The doorbell rang signaling the arrival of Rachel's final guests. After already having two drinks, she was a little tipsy. The tiny brunette squealed and rushed to the door, nearly tripping over her own feet.

"Don't fall and break yourself," Mercedes teased before taking another long sip of her drink.

Everyone, who had been there for well over an hour, was well on their way to intoxicated. Puck and started up a beer pong tournament in the kitchen which he and Tina had owned. It wasn't a long tournament considering Quinn refused to play, Rachel was trying to play host. So after a game against Artie and Mercedes and another against Santana and Brittany, Puck declared that he and Tina were the champions.

"I'm so sorry we're late. This entire trip is not a lot how I thought it was going to go," Kurt muttered as soon as Rachel opened the door.

"Good to see you, Rach," Blaine grinned uneasily.

The tiny girl's mouth dropped open at the boy behind them.

"I believe you know my soon-to-be step-brother," Kurt groaned.

"Hey, Rachel."

It was as if the party stopped at that moment, everyone turning their attention to the front door.

"Finn," Rachel squeaked.

"Oh shit," Santana cursed softly.

Within an hour, things had settled a little. Finn's presence had been incredibly awkward for the first several minutes until he and Puck actually struck up a conversation. The beer pong tournament was back in force now that Puck had competition. He and Tina joined forces again but Finn wouldn't go down without a fight. The tall boy paired up with Artie, then Mercedes, then Brittany, and then Artie again. He was determined to win at least one game of beer pong. He and Puck were strangely getting along, almost as if they were bros again. After a few beers into Finn, he loosened up and started joking around with everyone, except Santana and Rachel.

Those who weren't playing beer pong got in on some more drinking games. Blaine suggested Circle of Death. While Artie and Finn played against Tina and Puck in the kitchen, the rest gathered around the coffee table in the living room for Circle of Death. The game was barely under way before Rachel realized the time. It was 11:45. She gathered everyone in the living room so they would all be together for the countdown. Finn seemed to have no problem with Santana and Brittany being all over each other despite the fact that he had dated Santana for quite a while. He and Brittany got along really well and after a few snarky comments from Santana, he even started talking to her. The only person he was avoiding was the hostess, but his eyes followed her all over the room every time she was near.

"You better kiss that girl at midnight," Santana snickered into Rachel's ear.

Rachel watched the blonde across the room. Finn was putting an effort into getting to know Rachel's roommate. They had little interaction all night but for some reason with only minutes to go until midnight, he had honed in on the blonde. Quinn was only slightly uncomfortable while Finn yammered on about football and asking her about where she was from, how she liked OSU, how long she had been staying at the Berrys', were she and Rachel really close, what was her major, and etc. Quinn politely responded to all of his inquiries but her eyes kept wandering over to her roommate who was blatantly staring at them.

The countdown at the bottom of the TV screen started with a minute. The room grew excited as everyone clambered to get where they needed to be to ring in the new year properly. Tina made her way to Artie's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, waiting for midnight. Mercedes slyly sidled up next to Puck who smirked at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Kurt and Blaine stood next to each other. Judging by the numbers, there would be an odd man out.

"Ten."

Quinn began crossing the room to get closer to Rachel.

"Nine."

Santana smirked at the smaller brunette who was frozen in place.

"Eight."

Finn was trailing behind Quinn, leaving Rachel frozen with dread.

"Seven."

Was Finn following Quinn?

"Six."

Or was Finn coming to Rachel?

"Five."

Quinn darted around Artie's wheelchair as the excitement arose and their friends squealed the rest of the countdown.

"Four."

Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's neck as the Latina grinned at her with nothing short of a love-struck smile.

"Three."

Quinn was almost there.

"Two."

So close! Yet Finn was right behind.

"One."

Quinn stood in front of Rachel, smiling at her like she was the only girl in the room. Rachel stared with wide eyes as Finn smiled at her from behind Quinn.

"Happy New Year!" everyone chorused.

Rachel swallowed hard and bite her lip anxiously. Santana kissed Brittany sweetly, exchanging a soft 'I love you' with each other. Tina enthusiastically attacked Artie's lips. Kurt and Blaine shyly smiled at each other before brushing their lips together. Puck laughed before grabbing Mercedes and kissing her gently while the girl flushed.

"Happy New Year!" Finn bellowed and somehow wrapped Rachel and Quinn into a big bear hug.

Quinn squeaked as she was thrown unceremoniously against the smaller girl. Rachel nearly cried in frustration, wrapping her arms around Quinn and somewhat Finn.

The boy pulled away first shouting, "Happy New Year!" again to the entire room.

Everyone else laughed at the drunken idiot. Quinn hugged Rachel again softly.

"Happy New Year," she sighed, disappointed.

Rachel nodded into Quinn's neck.

Finn high-fived Puck quickly then turned around and hugged Quinn again. Artie and Puck fist bumped. Tina hugged Santana and Brittany happily. Mercedes hugged Kurt and Blaine, while Kurt whispered frantically in her ear and she kept nodding in response.

Finn turned to Rachel, shrugged and then hugged her tightly, picking her up off the ground the second she parted from Quinn.

"Happy New Year, Rach. I'm really glad I'm here," he whispered into her ear.

She stiffened slightly but the boy was too drunk to notice. He set her back down not so gently, making her stumble slightly with the impact and her own alcohol consumption.

Santana shot the girl a look and shook her head in disappointment. Quinn had already crossed the room to hug her other friends and wish them all a happy new year. Rachel sighed in frustration.

"Shots!" Puck shouted and everyone cheered in response.

Santana cornered Rachel by the kitchen entryway, "Way to go, Short Stack. You missed your shot."

"What was I supposed to do? Finn was right there," Rachel hissed.

"Not your problem. The guy's not your boyfriend anymore and you're gay. Should've just kissed the girl. I got mine. You don't see me sweating it over Finn Hudson," Santana rolled her eyes.

Rachel grunted and walked into the kitchen. They all lined up shots. Rachel looked at Quinn who was at the opposite end of the line. The brunette tossed back her shot and quickly did two more, keeping her eyes on Quinn.

"Happy New Year, my ass," Rachel sighed.

The next few hours were a blur of drinking and shots. The beer pong tournament was back on. Quinn and Rachel were drunk enough to play. Rachel had paired up with Puck. He got mad when they lost and she killed his winning streak of the night. Quinn played with Santana and the two had a nice winning streak, taking down Artie and Tina, Kurt and Mercedes, and Brittany and Puck. They finally lost to Blaine and Finn.

After a few more rounds, the whole group returned to the living room for Never Have I Ever and a dance party. Rachel knew she drunk. Correction, she knew she was completely trashed off her ass. She was stumbling all around. Most of them were stumbling and spilling drinks a little. The clean up the next day would be a bitch. Never Have I Ever had been forgotten and the dance party was in full gear when Artie and Tina decided to be the first to leave. It was after two and Artie's brother was leaving the other party and ready to pick them up.

Rachel surveyed the scene after she walked them to the door. Music was blasting through the speakers in the living room. The TV was still on to the same channel that Dick Clark's countdown had been on but by now it was coverage of other New Year's celebrations across the country and lots of fireworks. Mercedes, Kurt, and Puck were still dancing around. Puck was bobbing his head to the music a lot and sloshing his drink around. The boy was definitely crashing at Rachel's. There was no way she'd let him leave in that state. However, it seemed Mercedes would have no problem snuggling up to the Mohawked boy on the couch bed when the time came for everyone to pass out. Speaking out passing out, Finn looked almost ready to fall asleep in the recliner near Blaine. Blaine was still talking away about something but Finn was paying no attention. He was fighting to keep his eyes open in his drunken haze. Brittany and Santana were making out heatedly in another armchair with the blonde sitting on the other girl's meant everyone was accounted for except Quinn. Where was the blonde?

Just then Quinn came back out from the kitchen, she spotted Rachel near the front door and smirked. Rachel grinned back at her. The blonde stumbled her way across the room until she was right in front of Rachel. She tripped on the rug and fell into the brunette, pinning her against the door. Quinn's breath was hot on her neck as they bodies were flushed up against her each other. Rachel fought back a groan as she wrapped her arms around Quinn.

"Easy there, Tiger. Lost your balance a little," Rachel laughed playfully.

"Stupid rug," Quinn muttered, not picking her head up from Rachel's neck.

"I think you're drunk."

"I think you're drunk," Quinn countered.

Rachel nodded with a giggle.

"I think everybody's drunk," Quinn snorted.

"Me too," Rachel replied.

Quinn sighed and pushed her body in even closer to Rachel. This time the brunette couldn't fight the groan in the back of her throat. Quinn grunted and pushed in closer again, getting the same reaction. The blonde lifted her head from Rachel's neck just enough to whisper into Rachel's each, her lips tickling her ear.

"I'm tired. Let's go upstairs," Quinn nearly purred.

Rachel's heart immediately started racing.

"Yeah. Good plan," Rachel replied, barely noticing how much lower her voice had dropped.

Quinn grabbed her hand and led her toward the stairs.

"Good night," Rachel called out.

The group waved, but most were too involved in their own drunken fun to really respond. Brittany pulled her lips away from Santana's.

"S," Brittany giggled.

"I know, B. Berry is so getting laid tonight," Santana laughed.

"Let's go upstairs, too," Brittany grinned.

_(AN: I know...I've been MIA. I have a good excuse. I was crazy sick at the beginning of the week. I had worked double shifts all weekend and then Monday/Tuesday I was a sick & gross mess. Then I got an acting gig filming a pilot so the past two days have been hella busy and insane. It's been the craziest week of my life and I haven't gone to my real job all week long which is kinda strange. I also have had some issues with getting my email alerts for your reviews and such. Strange. But hopefully that's worked out now. I was impressed when I logged in and got to read all the reviews and messages. Thank you all! You are wonderful! I can't tell you how much I enjoy the virtual chocolates! So I drank a shit ton of Pepsi tonight and have been writing for the past four hours to give you an update...and instead of one, I give you two! I hope you enjoy. Don't hate too much about no midnight kiss. I didn't want to be that predictable...but I hope you enjoyed this chapter and definitely enjoy the next!)_


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Rachel giggled as she shut the door behind them. Quinn stifled her own laughter as she tripped toward Rachel's bed. The blonde flopped down on the bed with an almost graceful ease despite how intoxicated she clearly was. Rachel watched with a small smile on her face. Quinn smiled back lazily with glossy, drunken eyes.

"You gonna stand at the door all night or come join me?" Quinn teased.

Rachel's eyes darkened at the husky tone of the blonde's voice. Quinn quirked an eyebrow in the way that never ceased to drive Rachel absolutely insane. The brunette bit her lip and quietly locked the door.

"Happy New Year," Rachel reminded.

"Yes it is," Quinn responded as the brunette practically crawled to the bed.

Quinn moved up further on the mattress but remained in the center of the bed. Rachel's eyes followed her like a predator. Quinn felt her heart pick up at the look of lust so clearly displayed in the brunette's eyes.

"Rach," Quinn breathed.

Rachel slowly lowered herself on the bed. With Quinn's placement in the middle, Rachel was mostly on the edge of the bed but partially on Quinn's arm and leg. The heat from the brunette's body burned through Quinn wherever they touched.

"Yes, Quinn?" Rachel asked, moving her head closer.

Quinn's head swam with the proximity of her best friend as well as the drinks they had consumed. She was entirely overwhelmed.

"Nobody kissed me at midnight," Quinn pouted.

"Me either."

Quinn looked up at the brunette through her lashes. She smiled gently and pushed some of Rachel's hair behind her ear.

"You didn't kiss me at midnight," the blonde whispered.

"I didn't realize I was supposed to," Rachel grinned.

Quinn nodded, swallowing thickly while Rachel's dark eyes honed in on the blonde's lips.

"Can I kiss you now?" Rachel husked.

Quinn's eyes widened as she nodded again. The corners of the brunette's mouth lifted slightly in a gentle smile. Quinn licked her lips. Rachel's eyes traced the movement, the dark brown of her iris nearly eclipsed by full blown blackened pupils. Rachel's own tongue darted out to wet her lips in a mirror response to Quinn. Quinn's breath caught in her throat. This was actually it. No more playing around. No more almost kisses. They were in Rachel's bedroom. On Rachel's bed. The door was locked. No interruptions. No Finn. This was it.

"Kiss me," Quinn whispered before she could chicken out, the alcohol in her veins giving her the extra push she needed.

Rachel sighed in what appeared to be relief before closing the gap. Her lips descended on Quinn's waiting mouth instantly. Finally, the contact both girls had been missing. Quinn couldn't suppress the moan that escaped as Rachel's lips caressed her own in a gentle kiss, teasing and promising of more to come. Rachel moved her lips with ease against Quinn's. Pressing a soft kiss first, then catching the blonde's bottom lip between her own, barely sucking the plump lower lip. Quinn gasped, giving Rachel the opportunity she wanted. The brunette plunged her tongue into Quinn's mouth, wrapping her tongue around the blonde's as if coaxing it into play. Like a game between two skilled lovers, their tongues danced and teased each other. Rachel groaned into Quinn's mouth, sending a surge of heat right between the blonde's thighs. Quinn arched up into the contact, unconsciously spreading her legs as Rachel slide between them to rest fully on top of Quinn.

The tiny diva pulled away flushed after perhaps the most erotic and intoxicating kiss of her life. Her eyes darted all over Quinn's face, trying to burn this moment into her memory forever. Memorizing every last detail from the way the blonde's haired fanned out around her on Rachel's own pillow (her pillow would never smell the same after Quinn Fabray had rested upon it), to the way the hazel eyes darkened with lust and full blown pupils entranced her (she'd never seen a more stunningly shade of green with golden specks, despite the blown out pupils), to the way Quinn's lips looked so kissable all puffy and swollen begging for more kisses (never had she seen such kissable lips). Quinn was panting beneath her and Rachel had never wanted anyone more. She dove back in quickly for another kiss. This time Quinn needed no coaxing. Their tongues dueled and fought for dominance in a much more heated kiss than the previous few.

Rachel couldn't keep her hands still. She had no idea where she wanted them to be the most, tracing Quinn's face, running up and down her arms, grasping her hip, fluttering up her stomach. She nearly reached the bottom of Quinn's breast before retreating and going back to her hips. She wanted to be everywhere, to trace every inch of the girl beneath her.

Quinn meanwhile couldn't figure out how to get more of everything. She wanted it all. She ran her hands up and down Rachel's back, into her hair, cradling her check, back to the hair, down her back again, and repeating the process. Her hands couldn't stay dormant, seeking every inch she could discover, until finally she ran them down Rachel's back lower to cup the other girl's ass.

Both girls groaned as Quinn's pulled her tightly to her body and Rachel ground her hips down into Quinn.

They pulled away gasping and panting for breath. Rachel pulled her upper body away from Quinn's to catch her breath. The blonde was having none of it. Distance was the last thing she wanted. She pulled Rachel back to her, fusing their lips together once more as the brunette thrust her lower half into Quinn. Quinn moaned and bucked her hips in response. They began a slow grind into each other, pushing and pulling with their hips, gradually getting more daring with each movement.

Quinn tore her mouth away from Rachel's with a groan.

"Oh God, Rach," she breathed, hands reaching down to the brunette's backside again to pull her against her more firmly.

Rachel responded by moving her lips to Quinn's neck and tracing the muscle there with her tongue. Quinn was panting and bucking, losing all rational thought. Nothing mattered except Rachel and the way she was making her feel. Rachel nibbled on Quinn's neck, then soothed the area with her tongue. She made her way up the neck to Quinn's earlobe and took it between her teeth. She gave a sharp nip perfectly timed with a thrust of her hips.

"Fuck," Quinn panted.

"Oh god," Rachel moaned into Quinn's ear.

"Fuck," Quinn groaned again in response.

Rachel's eyes rolled up as she fought to control her arousal at hearing her innocent Catholic princess cursing while essentially humping each other. The brunette focused her attack back on Quinn's waiting mouth. Both moaning at the long awaited contact.

Quinn's hands snaked under Rachel's shirt. The brunette pulled away long enough to throw off her shirt. Quinn nearly whimpered at the sight of a bra-clad Rachel Berry, flushed with desire and panting for her. It was too much and still not enough.

Rachel's hands went back to tracing every inch of Quinn. Making her way up the blonde's stomach and this time not stopping. She cupped Quinn's breasts. The blonde arched up into her hands as Rachel massaged and caresses Quinn's breasts. Teasing her nipples into stiff peaks through her bra. Too much and still not enough.

Quinn realized her own hands had been still for far too long while having a half-naked girl on top of her. She reached up and gently teased Rachel's breasts through her bra, going partly on instinct and partly by listening to Rachel's moans to tell what she liked and how she wanted to be teased. Rachel seemed to be doing the same to Quinn.

Rachel placed a gentle kiss on Quinn's lips, pulling away enough to really look at the blonde. They were both out of breath and jumping into this way too quickly but they wanted each other. They had just enough alcohol to quiet the voices in their heads saying they needed to talk about this, they needed to think things through, this would change everything. It was enough to quiet the voices but not silence them completely. Too much time apart and the voices would creep in. So Rachel kissed her again before the voices had time.

"I want you so much," Rachel husked, biting her lip.

Quinn loved when Rachel bit her lip. It drove her wild even when they weren't making out and Rachel wasn't half-naked. Now it was by far the sexiest thing she'd ever seen. She was dizzy with lust.

"Then take me," Quinn practically begged.

"I want to. So bad," Rachel replied, swooping back in to place another kiss on Quinn's waiting lips.

"Please," Quinn whispered as their lips separated barely a breath apart.

Rachel was panting into Quinn's mouth, trying to control herself. She pulled back slightly and stared into those gorgeous hazel eyes. Quinn was truly the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen. Taking the time to drink in all of Quinn, it gave Rachel's mind the opportunity to catch up to their actions while she studied the girl beneath her.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be for them. They weren't supposed to be drunk. Yes, she wanted Quinn. She wanted Quinn more than she'd ever wanted anyone. But Quinn's first time with a girl should be special. She should be sober. She should be loved…and as hard as it was to admit, Rachel did love her. She wanted to be that girl. She wanted to be that girl for Quinn more than anything. But she wanted them to be sober and she wanted it to mean something. She kissed Quinn slowly, softly, almost reverently. It was her way of saying she wanted it to mean so much more. Quinn whimpered into the tender kiss, not knowing what to make of the change of pace from frenzied kisses and heated touches to gentle whispers of lips upon lips. Rachel cupped Quinn's face in her hands as if she was afraid she would break the blonde. Cradling her cheeks like she would something so precious and made of porcelain, Rachel placed one last tender kiss upon Quinn's lips. Quinn's eyes fluttered shut again as her heart flipped in a new way, this wasn't overpowering lust. This was different. It felt different.

Rachel pulled away climbing off Quinn. The blonde's body immediately missed Rachel's warmth and it took everything in the brunette to resist kissing her again.

"What's wrong?" Quinn's asked, still trying to catch her breath.

"We're drunk. We're really drunk," Rachel answered, willing her hormones to give her a break.

She wanted nothing more than to jump right back in and have her way with Quinn. Quinn deserved more than that. She deserved flowers and dates and promises of loving each other forever. She deserved the perfect first time that everyone dreams of having, not a drunken hookup with her somewhat best friend/crush/complicated situation. Besides, this would be a first for Rachel as well. It's not that she didn't know what to do. She'd spent many nights, especially since Christmas break started, pleasing herself in the darkness of this very room while thinking of the very girl who was lying on her bed.

Her first time with a guy sucked. She thought she loved Finn and they had been drunk when they slept together. When she was sober the next day, she wished it hadn't happened like that. She couldn't do the same thing to Quinn. Then she slept with Puck while drunk, trying to prove she could be straight. She wanted her first time with a girl to be more than that. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to share that with Quinn, but would it really be so wrong to take her on a date first, to be sober, to be in love with each other. She could see all of that for them. She wanted all of that for them. Why ruin it now while they were drunk and obviously horny?

"You don't…we don't…I just thought…I mean…I'm sorry," Quinn stuttered.

Rachel instantly felt guilty and tried to explain.

"I want to. Believe me I want to. It's just…not like this, you know. This, this changes everything," Rachel replied softly.

"It doesn't have to, if you don't want it to. We don't have to do anything. It doesn't have to change. I like what we are, where we are. If you want, we can even pretend this never happened," Quinn promised quickly.

Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and laced their fingers together. She smiled at the blonde in what she hoped appeared reassuringly.

"I don't want to pretend this didn't happen. I've wanted nothing but this for a long time," Rachel started.

"Me too," Quinn cut in quickly.

Both girls paused and smiled at each other almost shyly, despite the fact that Rachel was still shirtless and they had both groped each other mere seconds ago.

"I think it would be best if we cooled down a little. If we went to sleep, sobered up, and then tomorrow we can figure out what this actually means," Rachel reasoned.

Quinn nodded.

The brunette got up and paced a little while trying to figure out exactly what to do. If she sat on that bed another second, she might jump back in and kiss Quinn senseless again. She had tried to show Quinn how she felt with that last kiss, but she knew it wouldn't last in this state. She was drunk and horny. She couldn't very well make love to someone when she couldn't control her own hormones or truly appreciate what could happen between them. Still she knew if she kissed her again that's exactly what would happen. She wouldn't control herself and they would go much further than they should. That wouldn't do either one of them any good….well it would do some good, but it wouldn't be the sensible thing to do. Rachel blushed as she looked down and realized she was still shirtless. Quinn flushed as well as she checked out the other girl's chest.

"On that note, I should put on some pajamas and we should get some rest," Rachel giggled embarrassed.

"Right. Pajamas. Sleep," Quinn chuckled, getting up from the bed as well.

They shyly changed their clothes, stealing glances at each other in various states of undress. Quinn knew when Rachel's eyes followed her dress to the floor, leaving the blonde in her bra and panties. Rachel swallowed hard and diverted her glance, stomping down the stirrings of arousal threatening to take over again.

Quinn fought her smirk at Rachel's reaction. She quickly pulled on her t-shirt and shorts so she wouldn't torture the brunette too much tonight. She, found her breath caught in her throat when she returned her gaze to Rachel who had taken off her jeans and was now giving Quinn a bra and panty show as well. Rachel, however, seemed oblivious to any teasing she was giving the blonde, which made Quinn want her even more. It took Herculean effort for Quinn not to cross the room and wrap her arms around Rachel and caress every inch of smooth skin she could see. She wanted to pin her up against the nearest wall and touch her everywhere, especially the places she had yet to see covered by what little clothing was left on the brunette. Quinn found her pulse throbbing between her legs at just the thought.

Luckily, or unlikely depending on one's perception, Rachel had redressed in pajamas before Quinn could make a move. Somehow, the cows on Rachel's light blue pajama pants seemed to calm Quinn's libido slightly. The throbbing was less intense and if she took several deep breaths she knew she could get back under control.

Thoughts of control threatened to vanish once again as Rachel pulled back the sheets on her bed and climbed in. Knowing she would be sleeping next to a girl she just ravished moment before made Quinn's heart race. She'd never felt so tempted as Rachel seemed to make her feel. She'd never wanted to give in like this until this night with the tiny brunette.

"Should I…do you think I need to sleep somewhere else?" Quinn asked, lowering her eyes in embarrassment.

Rachel giggled a little and shook her head.

"We can control ourselves, Quinn…besides, I'd really like hold you. I've never really been the big spoon," Rachel confessed, even her ears turning red as she flushed at the confession.

Rachel's adorableness calmed Quinn's hormones but sent her heart fluttering in a different way, genuine affection and possibly, probably love. Quinn grinned and climbed in under the sheets as well. Rachel sighed as she wrapped her arm over Quinn's stomach, pulling her tightly against her body. Quinn couldn't stop smiling as Rachel took in a deep breath, smelling the blonde's shampoo, and making her practically melt. How had they gone from nearly devouring each other to cuddling within a few minutes? Yet it seemed perfectly natural to be together like this, legs intertwined, fingers interlocked, and bodies flushed together. Rachel placed a gentle kiss on the back of Quinn's neck, sending a shiver up her spine.

"Happy New Year, Quinn," Rachel whispered.

"Happy New Year, Rachel," Quinn replied, before drifting off to sleep.

Rachel had definitely said it, this would change everything.

_(AN: And I did it! I hope that satisfies some of your Faberry cravings. Can I just say, this is my first time writing anything remotely smut-like? So with that said, I apologize if it's awkward or not that great. I'm not totally in love with it. Don't get me wrong, it needed to happen and I love that I wrote it. I just wish I had better words for the scene in my head...that comes off way pervy than I intended but you get what I'm saying. I hope you like the two updates. Sorry again about the lack of Tuesday but I had a legit excuse haha. Please keep up with the reviews and thanks for sticking with me and continuing to read. As always, thank you come again!_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Things could be worse. She could be dead. She could have some incurable disease. She could wake up with a rabid hyena gnawing on her leg. There were a ton of things that could be worse than waking up alone after practically devouring your roommate and best friend the night before. There are definitely worse things…except at the moment, this whole waking up in bed alone monumentally sucked.

Quinn surveyed the room for any sign of her tiny diva. Her tiny diva. That had a nice ring to it. Now if only she could make it official. That is what comes next. They both acknowledged, albeit drunkenly acknowledged but acknowledged nonetheless, that they were interested and attracted to each other. Both girls had admitted to wanting to kiss the other for quite some time. There had been many signs of more than just that. It wasn't just a physical attraction. They had actual feelings for each other. So naturally, the next step is to take the next step and make their relationship exactly that, a relationship. Time to go to the next level and make it official. From roommates to best friends to girlfriends. A likely and natural progression for two girls who happen to be interested in other girls.

However, this whole waking up alone thing wasn't working too well in their favor. Hadn't Rachel said she wanted to get some sleep and discuss it the next day? It's the next day. It's time to discuss what this means, except the brunette is no where to be found. Maybe she just stepped out to the bathroom. Maybe she was making Quinn breakfast in bed….or maybe she's totally freaked out. Maybe she has no idea how to take it to the next level or if she even wants it to go that far. They are best friends. They have a great relationship as is. Quinn did give her an early out. She had to open her big mouth and say they could pretend it never happened. What if that's what Rachel wants?

But Rachel said she didn't want that. She didn't want to pretend nothing was happening between them. She wanted to talk about it. She wanted them to have something more, something better than a drunken hookup. She had cuddled all night. They went to sleep spooning. She let Rachel be the big spoon damn it! That meant something. They were supposed to talk about it. They wanted something more…didn't they?

What if Rachel had only said all of that stuff because she realized she wasn't into Quinn? What if she made that up to protect their friendship when the reality is she was trying to find a way to let Quinn down gently? Weren't all the signs pointing to yes? Hadn't they had far too many close calls? Haven't they been flirting for months? Did the blonde really read it all wrong? Is that why Rachel wasn't in bed with her now? Was Rachel really just not interested?

"Breakfast is ready," Brittany chirped from the doorway, startling Quinn.

"I'll be right there. Thanks, B," Quinn replied.

The dancer bounced happily down the hall, leaving Quinn alone once more.

"And so it starts," Quinn muttered, kicking off the covers and trying to make herself presentable.

Earlier that morning, Rachel woke up. It was still dark outside and she had the beginnings of a pounding headache, just an inkling of the coming hangover. She groaned and snuggled further into her pillow. That's when she realized she wasn't alone. Quinn was still wrapped in her arms. The blonde was sleeping peacefully, even breathes puffing out over still slightly swollen lips from their frantic kisses. The corners of Rachel's mouth lifted up in a slight smile at the thought.

Then came the doubts, this was her best friend. Actually, Quinn was her first real, true friend ever. To mess that up? What would happen if they started something and it ended badly? Then again, what happened if they never started anything at all? Was it worth the risk? Love only happens so often. Friends come and go. But on the opposite end, relationships come and go but your friends stick with you through it all. So which applied to Quinn? Was she the friend to last forever? Or she was the relationship worth the risk? How did could one ever really know?

Rachel had always been the type to go for whatever she wanted. She wanted to be a star so she set up and made Mr. Shuester start up the glee club again. She single-handedly took them to Sectionals, Regionals, and finally Nationals. She sang the solo that won McKinley the National title. She was a star. Even if she hadn't been popular at her high school, nobody could ever say Rachel Berry wasn't a star.

She wanted Broadway. Her mother did it. That presented a tiny problem, a minor setback in the grand scheme of things. Initially, she thought she'd get right into Julliard, start auditioning, star in an off-Broadway show, then it would move to Broadway. From there, she'd obviously win her Tony. Once again, nobody could say that Rachel Berry wasn't a star.

She'd always been incredibly motivated and driven. She never let anyone or any circumstance stand in her way. So what was different about this? Was she really running scared of something for the first time in her life? It certainly seemed that way. They would take a tiny step forward in their relationship then Rachel would take them eighteen steps back.

The same thing could be said for her song writing. Random thought. But still, it applies. She used to let it all flow down on the paper. The melodies would just flow from her head. The music in her mind never failed her. First the melody. Then the words would come so easily. Every thought, every feeling poured out with ease creating song after song after song. But now, since Quinn entered her life, it seemed like she couldn't make sense of anything. She was so preoccupied with Quinn and trying to figure out what everything means. Too preoccupied or so it seems. Nothing flowed right anymore. The melodies were interrupted by the sound of Quinn's voice flowing in her brain instead. The words seemed to get stuck. Words, lyrics, paused mid-thought to make way for replaying actual conversations between herself and Quinn.

Time for a mini-freak out again. It can't be healthy to rely on someone this much. It can't be good to think about someone so much. Quinn occupied all of her thoughts. She needed to get a grip. She needed to figure out what was really going on between them so she could get a piece of herself back. Sort out one problem to move on to the next. Putting everything back together piece by piece. It seemed that Quinn was her biggest problem or biggest influence is maybe a better term. If she could find a place for Quinn and move on from that issue, then she could write again.

Or maybe she could stop censoring herself. Maybe if she let herself write about her feelings for the other girl then she could sort it out. Kill two birds with one stone or something. Let Quinn be her muse. Instead of letting her voice interrupt the melody, maybe she just needed to accept how much the other girl meant to her and let her influence the melody instead. Was it really that simple? Be honest with herself and Quinn and everything else would fall into place?

It certainly couldn't hurt to try. Quinn was worth the risk. She had to be.

With that thought, Rachel slowly pealed herself away from the warmth of her bed and her human pillow. She quietly snuck out of the room and went downstairs to make breakfast. A little food and a little coffee to help her get her head on straight. She and Quinn were going to have a very serious and very important conversation. It was time Rachel started acting like herself and going after the things she wanted. Time to be Rachel freaking Berry again.

"You get some?" Puck asked from his spot on the couch.

Rachel smirked as she watched the boy untangle himself from Mercedes. Somehow the two had ended up on the couch bed together. For a boy who was too badass for a relationship, it seemed he hadn't minded cuddling up with Mercedes all night. Rachel raised her eyebrow and Puck actually blushed.

"Did you?" Rachel countered.

"Shut up," Puck mumbled.

"I'll take that as a no…but I think you're okay with that. You like her," Rachel teased.

Puck rolled his eyes and climbed out of the bed. He stretched and followed Rachel toward the kitchen so they wouldn't wake up the rest of the group. Finn was passed out on the floor hugging a couch cushion as his pillow. The giant was sprawled out over most of that side of the room, drooling a little on his makeshift pillow. Kurt and Blaine were snuggled tightly in a recliner. Blaine was mainly in the recliner with Kurt resting mostly on top of him, head tucked snugly under Blaine's chin. The dark haired boy had his arms wrapped comfortably around his boyfriend. Mercedes had shifted to the center of the couch bed after Puck got up. She stretched across the mattress. She moved around as if searching for Puck's body. The mohawked boy watched her with a small grin on his face when a frown appeared on hers in her sleep. Rachel studied him carefully, watching the boy mentally debate if he should just crawl back in bed with the other girl or continue on into the kitchen. He finally shook his head as Mercedes got settled and cuddled his pillow. Rachel grinned at him while the boy rolled his eyes before he followed her the rest of the way into the kitchen.

"So is that a new development or is there something you would like to explain to me about this past semester?" Rachel smirked.

"Shut up," Puck replied.

"That's not an answer. I want details, Puckerman."

"Not until you give me all the dirty details about you and Q," Puck laughed.

"Touche."

"So you admit there are dirty details?" Puck wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Shut up, Noah," Rachel countered.

"That's not an answer. I want details, Berry," Puck parroted.

The two moved comfortably around each other while making breakfast. Puck easily started the eggs and bacon. Rachel threw a tiny fit about the bacon saying that it was unfair to prepare that in her house and if he was a good Jew, he wouldn't eat it. Puck said it wasn't for him, but they would never hear the end of it if Santana and Quinn didn't get their bacon fix, especially Quinn. Rachel accepted defeat as soon as he mentioned Quinn's love of bacon. Rachel knew she would tolerate bacon if it meant Quinn's happiness. Yet another sign that she should fess up and just tell the blonde how she felt.

"So you're seriously not gonna tell me what went down between you and Q?" Puck asked while Rachel flipped a vegan pancake on the stove.

"Whatever happened or didn't happen between Quinn and I is exactly that, it's between Quinn and I," Rachel replied.

"Come on, Rach. Don't be like that. Give me just a few details. Was it hot? I know it was totally hot. Girl on girl is always hot. So was she good? I bet she was freak. Hell, I bet you're a freak when you're with a chick."

"Don't be crude, Noah."

"Just admit it. You guys totally did it. I'm not asking for majorly horny details or anything. I know you won't tell me that much, even though you totally should. But at least admit that you guys got it on. You gotta give me that much,' Puck begged.

Rachel rolled her eyes and focused on her pancakes.

"Smells like bacon. I can't believe the smurf caved," Santana called out as she entered the room.

"Hell yeah. Breakfast," Finn grunted lumbering into the room behind the Latina and Brittany.

"Smells good," Brittany grinned happily, her hand firmly encased in Santana's.

"Feed us," Santana ordered, pulling Brittany into her lap at the kitchen table.

"You don't get to come into my kitchen and just demand to be fed," Rachel retorted.

"Don't cook for an army if you're not planning on feeding them. They'll shoot you," Santana glared.

Rachel sighed and went back to the pancakes.

"Wow. I didn't expect the full B&B service. Bed and Breakfast," Blaine teased, entering the room.

Kurt flounced in right behind Blaine, "we slept in a recliner. That's technically not a bed for a bed and breakfast."

Mercedes plowed past him with a roll of her eyes and plopped down at the table, "Cheer up, Kurt. You know there was no way I was gonna let you have that bed. Don't be sassy about getting a free breakfast."

"Sassy? Pot meet kettle. You're both full of sass," Kurt laughed.

"I am hungover as shit," Santana groaned.

A chorus of agreement erupted.

"Good morning," Quinn smiled.

Rachel turned to greet her quickly. The brunette wasn't paying attention so focused on Quinn's entrance. Rachel let out a high-pitched squeak when she burnt her hand on the handle of the frying pan.

"Shit. Are you okay?" Quinn asked, practically sprinting across the room to drag Rachel's hand under the cold water of the sink.

Rachel nodded while Quinn fretted over her and took care of her hand. Their eyes met for the first time that morning and both girls blushed fiercely.

"Totally got it on," Puck chuckled under his breath.

Rachel glared at him while Quinn blushed even harder.

"So good time last night?" Santana asked with a smirk.

"Great. One of the best," Finn answered.

Everyone else was focused on the two girls at the sink. Rachel could feel her face heating even more as Quinn blushed all the way to her ears.

"What about you, Mercedes?" Kurt asked, taking the attention off the two girls.

Mercedes sucked in a quick breath while Puck grinned proudly.

"What about you, Kurt?" Mercedes countered.

"Fantastic," Kurt smiled, grabbing Blaine's hand as the two took their seats at the huge kitchen table.

"I had a great night," Puck smiled, solely at Mercedes.

The diva blushed and nodded her head, "Me too. One of the best New Year's yet."

"Good," Puck replied.

"I had fun," Brittany chirped.

"Damn right you did, B. We had ourselves a great night. I'm surprised you can even move after last night," Santana winked.

"S, don't be silly. You know I'm very flexible," Brittany smiled and kissed the Latina on the cheek.

"Damn right, you are."

"What about you, Rach? Did you have fun?" Finn asked, almost shyly.

Rachel turned to look at him, not expecting the question. She wasn't sure what he meant. Did he think she had sex with Quinn? However, when she looked at the boy, he appeared almost nervous. Shy, nervous Finn meant one thing. He was asking because he was there. Did he ruin her night? Or was she okay with him coming around again?

"I did. I had fun with everybody," Rachel smiled.

Finn blushed when she smiled at him. Quinn narrowed her eyes at the exchanged. Blushing, shy Finn meant one thing to Quinn. He still loved Rachel. If a competition is what Finn wanted, a competition is exactly what he'd get. She wouldn't back off Rachel easily just because Finn wanted to start hanging out again. Rachel was gay. Quinn was a girl. No competition. She would make sure Finn knew that.

Quinn stepped closer to Rachel and wrapped her arm loosely around the brunette's waist, turning her back to the sink slightly. Rachel flushed and leaned into Quinn just a little.

"How's your hand now?" Quinn asked softly.

"I think it's okay," Rachel answered, pulling her hand out from under the running water.

Quinn inspected it closely, cradling it in her hand. She locked eyes with Rachel again and both blushed once more.

Santana fought back her laughter at the blushing pair.

"So last night was…fun? You had a good night?" Quinn asked, quietly.

"I did," Rachel smiled gently. "I really did."

"Good. Me too," Quinn husked into her ear, before softly brushing her lips against Rachel's cheek.

"Okay, you two totally had sex," Santana blurted.

Quinn paled as she turned to face the Latina. She stepped away from Rachel just a little, but still enough that the brunette noticed.

"We didn't…that's not…we…just shut up," Quinn grunted, looking almost sick.

"Jesus, Q. Chill out. It's not a big deal."

Finn, however, stared at Rachel closely. He bit the inside of his cheek and seemed upset as well. Quinn was torn, watching him. Part of her wanted to stake her claim on Rachel right there and then. The other part knew the two girls still needed to talk. And then another part of her wanted to run screaming in the other direction. Was she really ready for all of this? Finn turned his gaze to her and narrowed his eyes. He's throwing down the gauntlet. He wants her. Quinn narrowed her eyes back at him, not quite full on glaring but definitely noting that the gauntlet had been thrown and she accepted his challenge.

"We didn't sleep together," Rachel groaned in embarrassment. "I mean technically speaking we did sleep together. But Quinn and I have shared a bed many times. We are roommates after all. It would be unnatural if we hadn't had slumber parties and such at some point. She is staying in my home. So we did sleep together. We didn't engage in activities."

"Seriously, Berry? Activities?" Santana laughed at the tiny girl's flustered rambling.

Rachel shrugged helplessly.

"Sex. You guys had sex," Puck snorted.

"We didn't! Not that it's any of your concern. We merely kissed. Heatedly and frequently. But we just kissed. There may have been some minor groping involved. I lost my shirt. But we didn't have intercourse," Rachel ranted.

"Yeah, details," Puck practically sang.

"No! I just…yes, that's more information than you needed to know. But we didn't. I mean I may have wanted certain things and I had urged but…I was topless and…not that it matters…I just…we…I should really shut up."

Quinn had buried her face in her hands but her ears were beat red even though the rest of the room couldn't see her face during Rachel's over-share.

"No please continue," Puck teased.

"Yeah. Please do," Santana chortled.

"Please don't. You're gonna give my girl, Q, a coronary," Mercedes pleaded.

Finn huffed and crossed his arms, pouting like a petulant child. Kurt and Blaine looked amused but refused to comment. Puck looked incredibly smug. Mercedes looked sympathetic. Santana looked pleased with herself. Brittany looked…confused but happy.

"Anyway, breakfast is ready," Rachel announced.

Puck helped her set up all the food on the table as everyone started to dig in. Quinn still hadn't moved and kept her face in her hands. Rachel smiled uneasily at Puck, who nudged her gently then nodded his head to the other room. Rachel gently pried Quinn's hands from her face and silently led her into the living room.

"I'm really sorry. Sometimes, I have no control over my mouth when I'm nervous. I tend to ramble and make a fool of myself. I didn't mean to also make a fool of you. We didn't even get to discuss anything and I just outted us to everyone. I don't even know if there is an us or if you want an us and I just opened my big mouth and let it all pour out. I'm so incredibly, unbelievably, immensely sorry," Rachel spouted off quickly.

Quinn smiled at her gently, but still looked slightly ill. The blonde took Rachel's hands into her own.

"It's okay. I mean that was definitely an over-share. You really need to learn to control your mouth…but it's okay. I'm not mad. A little freaked yes, but definitely not mad," Quinn replied.

"You're not angry with me?"

Quinn shook her head.

"I should tell you, I really didn't want to leave you this morning. You looked so beautiful and waking up with you in my arms…I like you, Quinn. I really, really like you," Rachel confessed softly.

Quinn grinned," I like you, too, Rach."

"Yeah?"

"Are you kidding me? We've been dancing around each other for weeks if not months," Quinn laughed.

"I don't know how to do this," Rachel admitted.

"I don't either."

"I've never actually had a girlfriend," the brunette sighed.

"I definitely haven't either."

"But I don't think we can ignore this anymore…this thing…these feelings."

"I definitely can't do that anymore," Quinn nodded.

"So…" Rachel trailed off.

"So you like me."

"I like you," Rachel echoed.

"And I like you."

"And you like me," Rachel grinned.

"So…." Quinn trailed off this time.

Rachel stepped away from her and sat down on the side of the couch bed. Quinn stood for a moment watching the girl. Eventually, she went and sat down next to Rachel. They sat in silence. Rachel placed her hand over Quinn's on the mattress in between them. Quinn flipped her hand over and laced their fingers together. Both girls felt their heartbeats pick up in pace.

"I'm going to be really honest right now. I'm completely and utterly terrified," Rachel spoke up softly.

"Why?'

"Because…because you're my best friend. Sometimes it feels like you're my only real friend. I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust you. I feel like I can tell you anything and even more than that, I want to tell you everything. And I want to know everything. I want to know what you're doing when you're not right next to me. I want to know what you're thinking, what you're feeling. I…I'm terrified because I've never felt this much for anybody before. And maybe that's because you're my best friend. Maybe that part is natural. Maybe I'm supposed to feel so much for you…but it's scary because you're my best friend and I want you to be more. I want you hold your hand whenever I feel like it. I want to take you out on dates. I want to kiss you whenever I feel like it and I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to feel about your best friend."

"I want to kiss you, too," Quinn replied, barely above a whisper.

"Last night I…I didn't want to stop…you're…God, I am terrible at this. I'm trying so hard to find the right words and I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm saying. Half the time, I don't even know what I'm feeling. It's like there's this part of me that really wants to be with you and then there's this even bigger part of me that is completely scared out of my mind because I'm afraid I'll mess this up. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you and this could change everything. This could really screw us up. If we back out now, there's still…we're still friends. You're still my best friend. But if we go into this completely and if something…if I let myself love you and it goes wrong…I'm not sure I can handle that. Not after everything that's already happened. Not after Shelby and high school and Santana and Finn and…those are my demons, not yours. I don't know why I keep letting them stand in the way but…I'm scared, Quinn," Rachel explained.

Quinn squeezed her fingers against Rachel's before pulling the brunette's hand to her heart.

"I'm scared too. You're my best friend. I really don't want to mess that up. I've never had a friend like you. I've never felt this way for a girl…for anybody really. This is all really new and when I stop and think about my parents and all of the things that could go wrong. I freak out all the time. I keep pushing forward because I'm afraid if I stop, I'll never get there. I'll never be okay with who I am. And I want to be. I want to be me. I want to love whoever I love. I told you I'm not okay with labeling who I am but maybe that is just because I'm scared. My parents? They will freak out. Every day is this battle inside myself and most days I don't even acknowledge it because if I do I'm afraid I'll talk myself out of it. There are so many ways I could make this easier by just ignoring everything I feel…but I can't do that. I can't, Rachel. And I'm scared and I don't want to mess this up. I can't lose you, either…but I can't go back. I have to keep pushing forward…and I want to push forward with you," Quinn smiled anxiously.

"Me too. I want that, too."

"What if we take this super slow? What if we stay best friends? We don't have to call this anything. We can just feel it out. Slowly. We'll hang out like we always do. We can go to the movies. We can have dinner. We don't have to call it dating, per say. We can just spend time together, like always…but if you want to kiss me…or if I want to kiss you…we could…we could slowly start taking certain…things I guess…to the next level. We don't have to call it a name or label the relationship…but we could feel out the situation and see if it's what we both really want…see if it's worth risking the friendship…because I really don't want to mess this up. I really don't want to lose you ever…but I can't pretend I don't feel things for you."

"So like secretly dating without dating?"

"So like we test the waters and nobody else needs to know. It's not their business. It's ours. And if we feel that it's time to label what we feel. Or if we decide that…I don't know…maybe I don't want to call you just my best friend anymore but we've both decided that I should call you my girlfriend…then we can tell everybody else…but until then, maybe we just keep it between us."

"We still hang out like we used to?" Rachel asked.

Quinn nodded.

"We still act exactly like we used to?" the brunette questioned.

Quinn nodded again.

"But if I want to kiss you…I can?" Rachel further questioned, leaning in closer

Quinn smiled and nodded again.

"So if I wanted to kiss you now…I can?" Rachel leaned in a little closer.

"Please do," Quinn whispered against Rachel's lips

Rachel brushed her lips against Quinn's softly. Both took a moment just savoring the feel of the other girl's lips against their own. Rachel pulled away gently.

"So we'll go slow," Rachel stated.

"We'll go slow," Quinn replied.

"I'm good with that," Rachel grinned.

"Me too."

Rachel stood up, pulling Quinn with her, "now let's get back in the kitchen and get some breakfast before they think we're out here having sex on the couch bed."

Quinn groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Come on. You're gonna help me learn to keep my mouth shut," Rachel giggled.

"I can think of one way to keep your mouth shut. Okay, not necessarily shut but certainly put it to other uses," Quinn smirked.

"Somehow I don't think that would keep us on the down-low very much," Rachel laughed.

"The down-low? Well imagine that, Rachel Berry Queen of Verbosity and Using Excessively Long Words has learned normal slang," the blonde teased.

"Very funny, Quinn. If you must know, the term is sesquipedalian, meaning having many syllables or characterized by the use of long words," Rachel replied with a grin.

"Smarty pants."

"Just because I prefer not to sound like an ignoramus or some sort of dullard does not mean I am a smarty pants."

"Now you're just trying to sound like a smarty pant using ignoramus and dullard," Quinn laughed.

"There's nothing wrong with having an impressive and expansive vocabulary."

"Right and down-low is part of your impressive and expansive vocabulary," Quinn chuckled.

"Oh shut up," Rachel giggled in response.

"You gonna make me," Quinn winked.

"Again, I have to remind you that such measures would not be conducive to keeping us on the down-low."

"Again with the down-low. Stop it, Rach. Your vocabulary is just turning me on," Quinn teased.

"I hate you," Rachel glared as they entered the kitchen.

"You really don't though."

Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled despite herself.

"I see Q didn't kill you for spilling the beans on your little hump fest," Santana laughed as they re-entered the kitchen.

"I don't believe I ever mentioned anything about humping," Rachel blushed.

"But you totally did," Puck smirked.

Mercedes smacked him quickly.

"Ow. What the hell, Mama?"

"Leave them alone, Puck."

"Yeah whatever. You're just lucky I like you and stuff or else I'd never let up about getting all the details," Puck replied.

"You like me?" Mercedes grinned.

Puck blushed a little, "You gonna make a big deal about it or…I mean I thought…we could like go a movie or something…sometime…maybe…I don't know."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"So what about you, two? You guys like dating now?" Santana asked, the two girls loading up their plates with vegan pancakes or the eggs and bacon for the blonde.

"Quinn and I are best friends. A drunken makeout between two friends is exactly that. There's no use making a fuss over a New Year's…adventure if you will…we are perfectly fine with what happened and we remain best friends," Rachel answered.

"What the hell kind of answer is that? I asked if you were together, not if you weren't best friends. Nobody doubted that part. I just want to know if I'm gonna have to start knocking on your door all the time to avoid seeing you two getting it on."

"We were drunk. Things happen. Let's just leave it at that," Quinn replied.

"Hell no. We're not leaving it at that. You can't just make out and pretend like it's nothing," Santana retorted.

"Why do you care? That's between Quinn and Rachel. They're friends. Sorry they're not gonna go on double dates with you and Britt," Finn interrupted.

"Listen here, Finnocence," Santana started.

"Stop it! Just stop!" Rachel shouted.

"Oh dear," Kurt muttered under his breath.

"Quinn is my best friend. As she said, we were drunk. Things happen. Let's move on. Neither one of us is ready to have a relationship. Neither one of us wants to screw up our friendship. She is my best friend. I am her best friend. We kissed. That's it. We're not dating. We're not making big plans. We're best friends. It's not a big deal," Rachel clarified.

"Not a big- this is bullshit, Berry. Somehow, I know you're behind this. You're running scared like you always do and this is bullshit," Santana snapped.

"S, please," Brittany calmed.

"Fine. It's not my business. Whatever. You two wanna pretend there's nothing going on? That's cool. You did it all damn semester. Don't expect me to just sit around and watch you guys dance around each other. I've got my own life. I got my own business. Q, remember what we talked about," Santana shrugged it off.

"Santana, I don't think-," Quinn started.

"What? What did you two talk about?" Rachel asked.

"Doesn't matter, Berry. That's between me and Q. Everything else is fine and dandy. We're all friends here," Santana plastered on a fake smile.

"I'm not really sure what's going on," Finn said slowly.

"Santana is very invested in what goes on between Rachel and Quinn, apparently," Kurt informed.

"Whatev. I was just looking for a twosome to hang with me and Britts. Doesn't matter. Berry gets on my nerves anyway. So looks like Wheezy and Puckhead are doubling with me and my Britts when we get back to school. No skin off my back. Again, not my business," Santana threw her hands up, as if admitting defeat.

"I'm still not sure what's going on," Finn muttered.

"Nothing, Frankenteen. Don't worry your big head about it. It's done. It's a new year. We're all having fun. We're all hungover. We're gonna finish this breakfast and it's gonna be a great year," Santana smiled, too sweetly.

"She frightens me when she smiles like that," Rachel whispered to Quinn.

"Yeah, she's not taking this at all like I thought she would."

"Who knows what goes on in her head. It's a scary place in there," Rachel giggled.

"Maybe we should tell her. She's been trying to push us together for a while now. I think she takes it as some personal defeat or something," Quinn shrugged.

"If we tell Santana, we might as well tell everybody."

Quinn nodded and sighed.

Santana had apparently moved on and was back to bacon and feeding Brittany intermittently between quick kisses exchanged with the dancer. She looked over at the other two girls. She tried to silently communicate with Quinn, asking with her eyes if the blonde was okay. Quinn smiled. Then Santana turned to Rachel and glared at her first. The smaller brunette furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Then Santana rolled her eyes before silently asking if the brunette was okay, too. Rachel smiled in return. The Latina looked back and forth between the two, rolled her eyes again and shook her head. Santana would never understand those two and why they couldn't just admit what was so glaringly obvious to everyone but Finn. The girls loved each other. They just needed to fess up in Santana's opinion.

_AN: Okay so I have officially thrown out my original storyline. The plan I came up with went out the window when I sat down to write this chapter. I found a little coffee shop and started writing. I don't know if it was the music or the chai latte but somehow I scrapped my entire original plan and decided to finally put the girls together. Okay, so maybe they're not officially dating but I started writing and this is what came out. I hope you all are happy. There's still a long road ahead. I'm starting fresh with this chapter and just flying by the seat of my pants essentially. My own personal and professional life is taking off and I don't know if that's what's changing this story but if it is so be it. Bare with me. I have no idea how this is gonna end up at this point. But I've got a few ideas. Most of it is now a mystery lol. But I couldn't really keep them apart anymore or else I felt like I'd just be recycling angsty feelings from like 8 chapters ago or something. I can't guarantee it will all be sunshine and rainbows from here on out, but I at least wanted to give the girls room to explore what their relationship could be instead of dragging out the process of them getting together and then diving right into it and ending the story when they became a couple (like I originally planned on doing). Hopefully this will be a little more interesting. Tomorrow I may very well hate this chapter and the corner I've now backed myself into...but hey, that's the fun of posting as I go and being cracked out on chai lattes and no sleep! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews! As always thank you and come again!_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

After everyone was fed and remotely happy again, despite Santana's occasional glare at Rachel, the group started to fizzle out. Mercedes was the first to announce that she should really get back to her family. Puck casually walked her to the door. The two stepped outside together while Kurt nearly squealed in delight. Blaine laughed at the boy but reminded him to be cool. Santana and Brittany were the next to leave. The blonde wanted to go to the duck pond and then Santana's mother had promised to have a meal ready for the girls. Quinn and Santana shared a silent conversation at the Latina's casual slip of her mother's plans. Quinn knew it hadn't been an easy road for Santana since she came out. Her father wouldn't be home for the evening so Santana's mom was trying to accept her daughter's relationship she only way she knew how: making food for them. It wasn't much to anyone else but it was obviously a huge gesture in Santana's eyes. Quinn was happy for her. If Santana's parents could slowly learn to accept their daughter and Brittany being together, maybe there was hope for Quinn's family after all. Besides, she was now officially 'taking it slow' with Rachel so it wasn't like the blonde would be able to deny her sexuality forever. Eventually, she'd have to have that conversation with her family.

Puck had decided to lounge in Rachel's Daddy's chair all day, making them watch college football. He deemed himself the man of the house while Rachel's fathers were gone. As soon as Mercedes left, he turned on the TV and the rest of the occupants were long forgotten. Finn, however, was equally as excited about the big games that day. The only real difference was Puck was lost in the TV, but Finn still kept a close eye on Rachel and Quinn. The blonde was definitely getting annoyed with her girl's ex's presence and careful eye.

Kurt and Blaine were happy to keep the girls entertained for a few more hours. As soon as it started to get dark again, Kurt mentioned that they should all be leaving shortly. Finn's mother was cooking a family dinner. She and Burt were determined to make it work. Their boys would be brothers and they were going to start having family dinners. Personally, Kurt could care less either way, but since his father had willing accepted his relationship with Blaine, the stylish boy felt he should at least give his father's relationship a chance as well.

After the game ended, Rachel shot Puck a meaningful glance that clearly said 'time to leave.' The mohawked boy stretched and lumbered around the living room a little before announcing that he should probably head home. He tried to persuade Finn into watching more football with him. Kurt informed Puck that they had a family dinner. Finn simply stated that he wasn't going to the family dinner. Tension filled the room pretty quickly. The two soon-to-be siblings squared off silently. Kurt finally threw up his hands in frustration, grunted, and practically yanked Blaine out the door, giving a quick 'thanks' and 'goodbye' to Quinn and Rachel.

Puck offered again to watch football with Finn. He said the taller boy could go to his house. They'd watch football. They'd drink beer. They could have some guy time and let the girls chill. He even tried to persuade Finn to go with him because the girls were clearly done with football. Finn just glared at him and sank further into his place on the couch.

Now here they were, the unhappy foursome staring the TV not speaking. Rachel was on one end of the couch. Finn was sitting next to her. He wasn't quite at the edge but he wasn't in the middle either. He was perfectly far away enough so that no one else could join them but still not close enough to be too close to rise suspicion. Quinn and Puck certainly weren't buying it though.

Puck was still in Rachel's Daddy's recliner. He would shoot occasionally glances at Quinn who was in another chair across the room. The blonde would meet his gaze every now and then. He would jerk his head toward the couch. She would shrug and sigh. He would glare at the clueless giant. Then Quinn would shift in her seat anxiously, unable to get comfortable and at the same time not wanting to be comfortable.

"Can we please watch something else?" Quinn finally spoke up.

Rachel and Finn snapped their attention to the blonde. Puck hid a smirk.

"It's New Year's Day. Some of the biggest games in college football are on right now," Finn replied.

"I know that but I'm pretty sure Rachel is bored and it is her house. You know, her TV," Quinn snapped back.

"She used to watch football with me all the time in high school," Finn countered.

"That's because you two were dating and I'm sure she just wanted to make you happy. She's a nice girl like that."

Finn glared in response to Quinn's words.

"I really wouldn't mind it terribly if we watched something else. It has been all football all day," Rachel squeaked.

Finn turned soft as he faced her, "Well we can watch whatever."

"Quinn and I had plans to have a musical marathon," Rachel smiled.

"What?" Quinn laughed.

"Didn't we, Quinn," Rachel enforced.

The blonde's eyes widened in recognition of what Rachel was trying to do.

"Yes. Yes we did. Lots and lot of musicals and chick flicks. It's a girls' New Year's Day tradition. Girls love to start the new year with a lot of chick flicks and musicals…and dance numbers. Crying and singing and dance numbers and romance. We love it," Quinn rambled.

Puck couldn't hold back his laughter watching the blonde come undone as she tried to oversell it. Finn didn't look amused.

"Too much?" Quinn asked with a small chuckle.

"Just a little," Rachel giggled.

"Come on, man. We'll watch football at my place," Puck offered yet again.

"I'll watch whatever. Musicals, chick flicks, dance numbers, and whatever. Rachel can pick it and I'll watch it," Finn said, staring at Quinn.

"Actually I think it would be best if we didn't watch a movie. It would be best if we didn't watch anything. I'm going to order some takeout for Quinn and I as she is my houseguest for at least today and tomorrow. It is my duty to make sure she is fed. I already prepared a meal for everyone this morning. If you would like to order some takeout as well, feel free, but my plans for the evening were made revolving around my houseguest," Rachel cut into the staring contest between Finn and Quinn.

The tall boy flushed slightly. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Forget it. I'm leaving. I thought…I want to be your friend, Rachel. We…we had something in high school," Finn started.

"Yes and then we broke up," Rachel finished.

"And she started liking chicks," Puck grinned.

"I didn't…I just thought we could hang out. Be friends again. Before we had anything, we were friends," Finn shrugged.

Rachel deflated immediately and put her hand on his.

"Of course we can be friends," Rachel promised.

"So do you wanna watch a movie? You really can pick it. I thought we were all having fun and just hanging out."

Quinn rolled her eyes and Puck snorted but then coughed to attempt to cover it up.

"That would be very nice at a different time. You and I can watch a movie any time over break. But tonight, I'd like to hang out with Quinn. She's my roommate and my best friend and she's only staying for a couple of days. We can hang out when Quinn leaves if you really want to be friends, but tonight I'd like to hang out with just Quinn," Rachel explained.

"Like a date," Finn grunted.

Quinn nearly groaned in frustration and barely resisted the urge to slap her hand to forehead.

"Not like a date. Like a girls' night," Rachel replied.

"I didn't even know you were gay at first," Finn said to Quinn.

The blonde swallowed hard, torn between hurting the oblivious boy for being so stupid and wanting to hide in Rachel's room until he left because someone outside of her circle of friends just labeled her.

"I mean Sam and…I was under the impression that your parents weren't the type," Finn continued.

"The type?" Rachel immediately took offense.

"I didn't mean it like that. I love your dads," Finn quickly backtracked.

Quinn's heart sank. She kept telling herself not to freak out. Finn wasn't really a threat. He'd never tell her parents. It was fine. Sure, it was the first time someone had publicly labeled her without her permission. Santana and Brittany were one thing. Rachel an entirely different matter. Puck even was excusable. Kurt and Blaine definitely not an issue since they were so open with themselves. Mercedes was even okay. All of those people were her friends. They knew her. They didn't judge her. Finn? He didn't know her. It was clear by his tone and his look that he was judging her. Quinn repeated to herself again not to freak out.

"I think it's time for you and Puck to leave," Rachel stated, not firmly enough to be rude but still didn't leave any room for discussion.

Finn nodded and stood up. Puck looked at Rachel then nodded to Quinn. The blonde was obviously freaking out in her spot. She was staring at the floor and breathing a little heavier. Rachel shot Puck a grateful smile as he ushered Finn to the door.

"I'll call you," Finn called from the door.

Rachel nodded quickly but kept her focus on Quinn.

Puck smiled at Rachel and pushed the other boy out the door.

"Quinn," Rachel soothed gently.

The blonde didn't respond, too wrapped up in her head.

"Quinn," Rachel tried again.

The tiny brunette grabbed Quinn's wringing hands gently and pulled the blonde to her feet. She wordlessly maneuvered Quinn to the couch and sat down next to her. The blonde still didn't make a sound and wouldn't look at Rachel.

"It's okay. Don't worry," Rachel assured. "We're taking this really, really slowly. Finn didn't mean anything by it. He'd never say a word to your parents. And you and I are fine. We're going slow. There is nothing to freak out about."

Quinn nodded. She found a lump forming in her throat but couldn't for the life of her, figure out why. She couldn't speak. If she opened her mouth all her doubts would come pouring out. Rachel was right. They were taking it slow. She was taking it slow. She would be okay. She didn't need to scare Rachel with all of the doubts and insecurities running through her head at the moment.

"It's just you and me, Quinn. Don't worry about Finn or anybody else. Tonight, it's just you and me and we're taking this slow. We're not labeling anything and nobody is saying anything about you. It's just us, baby. It's just us," Rachel promised, as she wrapped her arms around Quinn.

The blonde melted into her embrace and nodded again. She barely noted that Rachel called her baby but it made her heart flutter briefly. Rachel was right. It's not like Finn would run back to school and announce to their entire college that Quinn Fabray was really, really gay. Even if he did, most of the people at their school wouldn't even know who Quinn Fabray was and would really care less that some girl they didn't know was gay. He wouldn't say anything to her parents. Her parents wouldn't find out yet. She could do this slowly. She could be with Rachel and when the time was right she would come out to her family and officially come out to her friends. It would be okay.

Rachel changed the channel to some classic movie station. They say in silence watching an old black and white film. Rachel never took her arms away from Quinn and the blonde was content to stay wrapped in the embrace. At some point during the movie, they stretched out a little. Rachel moved them so she was lying on the couch with Quinn partially on top of her. They stayed like that all night, forgetting about dinner, forgetting about anything other than being with each other. Eventually, the two fell asleep on the couch wrapped up in each other with the TV still playing another classic film.

The next day was spent with trying to have as much fun as possible. Rachel and Quinn woke up in a totally different mood than how they ended the night. The sun was shinning, the girls were with each other. They had a newly formed relationship to test out. They made breakfast together, giggling and flirting the entire time. At one point, Quinn dabbed her finger in the powdered sugar and poked Rachel's nose with it. The brunette had huffed and pouted while Quinn laughed at the white smug on the other girl's nose. Rachel grinned mischievously before throwing a handful of flour at Quinn. The blonde squealed and practically tackled Rachel, pinning her up against the counter and tickling her. Rachel's peels of laugher rang throughout the house. Quinn giggled with her, loving the time spent with just the two of them.

Quinn eventually quit tickling the brunette and just grinned at her.

"What?" Rachel asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

The blonde laughed and nodded, "You definitely do, but that's not what I was thinking."

Rachel raised an eyebrow in challenge, "Is that so? Care to share with the rest of the class, Miss Fabray?"

Quinn smiled cupping Rachel's face in her hands. She moved in closer and brushed her lips against Rachel's. A smile instantly blossomed on the brunette's face. Quinn pulled back briefly, studying Rachel. The brunette had her eyes shut and was smiling brilliantly. She had powdered sugar and flour all over her face and in her hair that had been thrown during the tickle fight. She had never looked more beautiful.

"Tell me what you were thinking," Rachel whispered as Quinn leaned her body further into Rachel.

The blonde hugged her closely," I was thinking that you are, without a doubt, the beautiful woman I have ever seen."

Rachel's eyes flew open. She studied Quinn for a second to see if the blonde was joking. She knew she was covered in flour. She knew she looked like a mess. Maybe Quinn was just teasing. Instead of finding any mirth in the hazel eyes, she found that Quinn was completely serious. Rachel's stomach flipped in response.

"Impossible. That title belongs to you," Rachel smiled, bringing her hand up to gently grasp Quinn's jaw and pull her lips back to her own.

Quinn smiled into the kiss. They pulled away after only a few seconds. It was innocent and chaste, but full of something else, something different from their kisses on New Year's Eve.

"We're still moving slowly, aren't we?' Rachel asked.

"Still slow. Still us. My best friend. My favorite person. But I like this new part. This kissing thing," Quinn teased.

Rachel nodded. She kept silent to keep the words from spilling out. She wanted to tell Quinn she was in love. They were still moving slow. That would definitely be too fast. They just decided yesterday to try this out, to slowly take things up a notch. The day after deciding to be together would be a little soon to focus her undying love and devotion for the girl standing before her. Still, Rachel knew she'd never felt more in love than she did at that moment.

Quinn grinned and stole another chaste kiss before finally untangling herself from the tiny brunette.

"I think we made a huge mess and your fathers would shit a brick if they came back early today and saw their kitchen like this," Quinn laughed.

"I can't make breakfast with any of you people without making a mess. I never had such problems in my kitchen until you and Santana showed up," Rachel giggled.

"Come on, you go shower and I'll clean this up. I did start it so I'll clean it up."

"You're too good to me, Fabray," Rachel smiled.

"You're damn right. I wouldn't clean up just anyone's kitchen," Quinn joked, before smacking Rachel on the butt lightly, "Now go shower. I've got work to do."

"You need a shower too. I put flour in your hair."

"I'll shower next. We're going slow, remember. No showering together," the blonde winked.

Rachel flushed immediately, "That's not what I…Quinn Fabray you are scandalous."

"Go. Shower. Berry," Quinn ordered playfully.

"Going," Rachel rolled her eyes and skipped out of the room.

"I'll put a flour in your hair," Quinn sang softly, changing the meaning of the lyrics with a little giggle then continued with the song. "Though the breezes through the trees, move so pretty, you're all I see. As the world keeps spinning round, you hold me right here, right now. Lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been what I have been. Lucky to be coming home again."

She continued humming the song to herself, smiling the entire time while she cleaned up the kitchen. Lucky, she was in love with her best friend. Lucky indeed.

_(AN: And I'm a little late with the posting. Life happens I guess. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me so far. Glee comes back next week! Yay! I need some inspiration. I keep fighting through my writer's block and it keeps taking me to a totally different direction with each chapter. Who knows what's gonna happen next. I don't haha. This was a short chapter that was mainly me fighting through the block but it was cute and fluffy in parts and I hope you enjoyed it. Please review! Virtual chocolates for all! Thank you, come again!)_


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

They were cuddled together on Rachel's bed just enjoying their last day together before Quinn would leave. Rachel's fathers got held up with some bad weather and wouldn't be back in time to see Quinn off. They still had never formally met their daughter's roommate and now somewhat girlfriend. Rachel was a little disappointed. Quinn, however, wasn't too upset about putting off that meeting a little longer. The more time she had to sort out their relationship before meeting the parents, the better. Rachel was playing with Quinn's fingers, teasing them and tracing the lines of the blonde's hands. Quinn smiled watching her. They were sitting against the headboard with shoulders touching and Rachel's head resting on Quinn's shoulder.

"I don't want to leave tomorrow," Quinn confessed.

"I don't want you to either. I've grown rather fond of having you around the time," Rachel pouted.

"Well we are roommates so we'll be reunited soon enough," the blonde giggled.

Taking it slow…while living with your unlabeled girlfriend. That's not a problem at all. Living with temptation all rolled up in one pint-sized adorable little package. Nope, not going to be an issue. It would easy to take things slowly. Waking up next to Rachel, eating meals with Rachel, going on dates with Rachel, going to bed next to Rachel, and spending all her time with Rachel. It would easy to keep things going at a reasonably slow pace. She wouldn't feel the urge to tell the girl she loved her every time Rachel beamed at her. She wouldn't feel the urge to have sex with her while they were making out all the time in their shared bedroom. Would they share a bed now? They occasionally did before. Yep. Not a problem at all. No temptation whatsoever.

Rachel pulled away from Quinn momentarily.

"Okay. The other day we mentioned, or I mentioned that I write…sometimes…songs and things. I have all of these melodies in my head and sometimes the lyrics just come to me. But lately, I've…I guess you can say I've been distracted," Rachel said as she got up and began to pace a little.

"Okay."

"Well the first night you were here, you mentioned that you'd like to hear some of my songs. You're the only person who has ever heard any of them before. As I said, my music teacher heard the melodies but not the words."

"I remember. I heard you singing at the beginning of the semester…when we weren't really friends," Quinn smirked.

Rachel blushed at their former behavior. How could they can gone from girls who couldn't be in the same room with each other to best friends to more? It seemed so long ago but really they had only known each other for a few months now.

"Hey, don't worry about it. We were both a little stupid in the beginning but look at us now," Quinn teased.

Rachel nodded, "that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Quinn raised her eyebrow for the other girl to continue. Rachel paced slightly at the foot of the bed.

"You're making me a little antsy, Rach."

"That was not my intention. I'm terribly sorry, Quinn. I've just never shared this part of me with anyone before but you're my best friend…you're more than that actually and…I used to write all the time. I wrote song after song about my sordid love affairs of high school. I don't want you to leave tomorrow without really knowing where I'm coming from and why I am the way I am. All of my deepest feelings are imbedded in my songbooks. But I haven't been able to properly write for quite some time…I think it's because I haven't been able to be honest with my own feelings for quite some time. I care for a great deal, Quinn. Perhaps far more than I should for a fledgling romance. It's probably too soon to feel so much for someone but…I care for you a great deal," Rachel chickened out of saying 'I love you.'

Quinn smiled, "I…care for you a great deal too, Rachel. I…if you feel what I feel and I think that you do…I feel the same way."

Rachel closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep her emotions at bay.

"With that said, I wanted to share that part of myself with you. I want you to know me, all of me. I'm trusting you with something huge right now, but I want you to know that I do trust you with it," Rachel explained.

Quinn swallowed and nodded. It's not just Rachel's songs that the brunette was sharing. She was telling Quinn that she was giving the blonde her heart. She trusted Quinn with her heart in a way she'd never given it to anyone else before. Quinn nodded again.

"I wish I had some way of showing you that I trust you with everything. I've never been a particularly creative or eloquent person. I don't have the words or songs or anything I can really share with you…but I trust you with it all. All of me…if that's what you're getting at," Quinn said with as much sincerity as she could muster when her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears she could barely hear the words she was saying.

Her heart was screaming 'I love you' while her mouth made some foreign sounds that she hoped were real words. Whatever she said must have been right because Rachel beamed at her in that special way that only Rachel could, and the brunette went to her dresser and pulled out a thick black notebook.

"I want you to have it," Rachel smiled.

Quinn stared at her in shock. Rachel was not only entrusting her to read her deepest thoughts and desires, but she was giving them to her. Quinn was floored. She wished she had something she could give back. Her heart screamed even louder 'I love you'. Instead she just swallowed thickly and kept nodding her head.

Rachel sat back down next to her on the bed and opened the first page. Page after page, lyrics flowed. Words of love and heartbreak, loneliness and hope for someone better all poured out for Quinn to read. She read the first few songs, pulling Rachel in closer to snuggle into her side.

"Will you sing them for me?" Quinn asked.

Rachel looked stunned, unprepared for the request but nodded.

"This one I wrote right after everything that happened with Finn. I was torn apart. I really wanted to love him. I wanted things to be easy. I was so hurt that Santana was the girl he went after and so I wrote this one."

She began to sing softly.

_'She's your New York City. I'm your small town fling. She's your polite silence. I'm the song you sing. She's your growing up. I'm your staying young. She's your play it safe. I'm your need to run. She's the air you try to breathe. Your happy ending you try to see. She's the reasons you make up. To try to get over me. She's your pretty portrait. I'm your wrinkled photograph. She's your straight face. I'm your need to laugh. And cry and to dance and to lie. She's the air you try to breathe. Your happy ending you try to see. She's the reasons you make up. To try to get over me.'_

She stopped and faced Quinn shyly. Rachel was a little embarrassed being so openly vulnerable. She knew Finn would find better things than her. They weren't meant to be even though they had both wanted to be in high school. Rachel was gay then and always would be. It didn't make it hurt less. But she knew someday, some other girl would be better for Finn. His appearance New Year's Eve had been shocking. His reluctance to leave had been frustrating. She'd never be with him again but a small part of her would always love him. He was her first love. He was her small town fling. Now she knew she would find something better. She would find her New York City, or her perfect pair of jeans. In fact, she was pretty sure she found all of that wrapped into the very girl sitting next to her.

"I'll never get over how talented you are," Quinn confessed. "Seriously, Rachel when you sing you can just touch people, make them feel whatever you're feeling. And your writing…you amaze me. I'm in complete awe."

Rachel blushed.

"These are so amazing. You should perform somewhere. What about that open mic night? That place you wanted Puck to take me on a date," Quinn laughed.

"No! I mean I need something really great to do there. I want to sing something that really means something to me. These are all about old wounds and I'm sharing them with you because I trust you with what they mean and what they represent but I don't want to share them with anyone else. Letting strangers into that part of me is not something I'm interested in. If I sing one of my songs in public, I don't want it to be the sad me, the old Rachel from high school who was scared and hurt and confused. I want to share with the rest of the world the best part of me. If I were ever going to sing there, I'd do it because I was in love and I wanted the whole world to know it. I'd want to show everyone how happy you…or you know, whoever…the point is, I don't want to share with strangers my inspiration about the dark times. I'd never give the people who hurt me in the past that satisfaction. Maybe that's a shitty thing to say or to think, but as much as I'd like to be friends with Finn again and as fine as I am with Santana and even Puck, I don't want my successes to be shared with them in that way. I'd want to share it with somebody I was in love with," Rachel explained.

"I hope I can see that some day. I'd love to hear a song like that…from you…with you," Quinn took her turn to blush.

"I'm hopeful," Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn sweetly.

Quinn continued to flip through the book last that night while Rachel was on the phone with her fathers. How had she found such an amazing person? She drank in every word scribbled on each page, learning more about the girl she thought she already knew so well, falling more and more in love with each page. To hear about Rachel's past and the difficult time she had coming out, she knew on some level the pain Rachel must have gone through. She'd always felt bad and wished she could have been there to ease the other girl's pain. But now, to read each thought and intimately know how Rachel got through every day and became the person that Quinn had gotten to know, it made it all seem so much more real. It made her love Rachel even more. If Rachel was a strong enough person to go through so much in her lifetime and still have hope, still be willing to take a chance on this thing with Quinn, then the blonde knew somehow she'd get through whatever was thrown her way. If her parents disowned her, she'd get through it. If the entire school found out about her and Rachel, she'd get through it. If Rachel Berry could still be such an amazing person after all that life had dealt her, then together they could and would overcome anything.

_'If I sit here waiting to be wanted. Something good will pass me by. Many people look through the window, but seldom do they ever look in my eyes. Why doesn't anyone stay here? Why do they leave me? Don't they realize I'm a porcelain doll? Small, unsure, beautiful, breakable.'_

Rachel walked back into the room with a smile on her face.

"You're still reading?" Rachel laughed.

"I love you."

Rachel stopped in the doorway. She stared at Quinn for a moment. The silence filled the room. Quinn put down Rachel's book. She folded her hands in her lap and studied the brunette.

"What did you just say?" Rachel asked slowly.

Quinn swallowed and then replied.

"I love you."

Rachel nodded once, then two more times, "I thought that's what you said."

"I know it's way too soon and we're taking things slow. We've only known each other for like five, six months or something," Quinn started.

"Four months and thirteen days, to be exact," Rachel cut in.

"Okay, four months and thirteen days. But…you're my best friend. And whether it's too early in a romantic sense or way too late in a platonic sense, I love you. I just…I wanted you to know," Quinn finished, swallowing thickly again as silence filled the room.

Rachel nodded a few more times.

"I…I…wow," Rachel squeaked.

"I know, right?" Quinn breathed out with a slight laugh.

Rachel nodded once more.

"This is not slow," Rachel let out with the breath she hadn't been aware she was holding.

"It doesn't have to be weird. We are best friends. There are many types of love. Platonic. Familial. Romantic. Sisterly? I don't…we can still be going slow. We don't have to rush into anything. I'm not ready to rush into anything. You're not ready to rush. But I feel it and I said it. As I said, I just wanted you to know," Quinn rambled as if they had switched brains.

"Familial? Sisterly? What did you…that's not how I want to envision someone I have thoroughly ravished from time to time," Rachel laughed.

"I don't know. I was panicking, okay?" Quinn chuckled.

They both stared at each other for a second before erupting in a fit of laughter. Rachel crossed the room while laughing and sat down on the bed next to Quinn. Each time they would glance at each other, another burst of giggles came out.

"So we're okay?" Quinn asked, after they had finally calmed down.

"We're great," Rachel replied.

"Good."

"And allow me to thank you for what you said," Rachel smiled.

Quinn's heart dropped. Rachel thanked her for telling her she loved the other girl. She thanked her. She didn't say it back. She just thanked her.

"And also let the record show that I return your sentiments. Although it is quite possibly far too soon for such mutual declarations, it is quite acceptable for either of us to make such declarations of our feelings toward the other. If I say it back right now, I don't want you think that I'm just saying it because you did. I feel just as strongly as you do, if not more. However, mutual declarations might push us past the slow and steady pace we're working on attaining, but have done a rather shotty job at attaining so far. Nothing has been slow and steady since New Year's Eve. I want to do this right and I want us to take our time. The more time we take evolving our relationship, the better chance we have at keeping it. And if I verbally return your sentiments at the moment when both of my fathers aren't home and we're both in my bedroom, I feel as though the limited control I've had over my physical desires may be pushed to exceed its limits knowing your feelings and voicing my own. I would like to someday show you in every way that I can how I feel, but as previously stated, right now that would not be conducive to taking it slow and building a firm foundation in our relationship before taking it to the next level both physically and emotionally," Rachel explained with her monologue.

"Right. Building the foundation. Makes sense," Quinn giggled.

"We're not even officially a couple so a mutual declaration of such romantic ardor might not be beneficial at this time to developing the foundation of our relationship. For instance, I might need to ask you to be my girlfriend and take you on at least one date before I can verbally return your statement to placate my brain that's telling me to take things slowly, even though my heart is shouting a very different response."

"It's okay, Rachel. I completely understand and for the sake of taking things slow, I agree that a, what did you call it, mutual declaration of such romantic ardor, would be taking things a bit too fast," Quinn teased.

"Make fun all you want, but I have a valid point and you know it."

"I wasn't arguing the validity of your long-winded monologues," Quinn smirked.

"You're still making fun of me," Rachel pouted.

"Yes I am."

"Then I guess I won't tell you to look at the last page of my songbook. And I guess I won't tell you that the few scribbled lyrics to a few songs that I can't complete are clearly about you," Rachel huffed.

"Then I guess it won't matter if I look because it's not about me," Quinn grinned, flipping open the book.

_'All I really want to do is love you. A kind much closer than friends use. But I still can't say it after all we've been through. And all I really want from you is to feel me, as the feeling inside keeps building. And I will find a way to you if it kills me.'_

Quinn grinned as her eyes scanned the first song and then the next.

_ 'Caught a train in a dash. Running hard from my past. Set to ride this here rail till the end. Along the way met a queen now I'm here __king__. Queen. And we reign our kingdom from a mountaintop. Where baby we can be alone. Hazel eyes, royal skin. This one could do me in. I'll live this here life to the end…where baby we can be alone, my baby we can be alone.'_

Quinn laughed at the scratched out 'king' and added 'queen'. It reminded her of how Puck called her a princess but now Rachel wanted her as her queen. It made Quinn's stomach flop at the thought.

"Just ask me and I'll be your queen," Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear as she tugged the girl closer to her in a tight hug.

"Not yet. A date first," Rachel giggled into Quinn's neck.

"You tease. So are you asking me on a date or just telling me we have to go on a date?"

"Telling. You're not getting off that easy, Fabray. Maybe I wanted you to ask me out."

"Fishing I see. Well maybe I won't bite. Maybe I think you're the one who is going to cave first and ask me out. After all, I did say I love you first. I think it's only fair that you take the leap and ask me on a date," Quinn laughed playfully.

"Is that so? We'll just see who caves first."

"You're going to turn this into some bet, aren't you?" Rachel mock-glared as she pulled back from Quinn's neck to face her.

"I'm a Catholic princess, remember? I'm too morally superior to even think of engaging in betting. After all, gambling and betting is immoral behavior," Quinn teased.

"So is making out with another girl," Rachel laughed in response.

"Oh my goodness, I must be going to Hell," Quinn giggled.

"I'm sorry my princess, I've eternally corrupted you."

"Your princess, huh? I thought I was your queen."

"I told you that last pages of lyrics wasn't about you," Rachel smirked.

"If I say I love you again is it still going too fast, or have we progressed enough in the past twenty minutes to make that acceptable?" Quinn asked.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "you're terrible."

"And you're a horrible little tease," Quinn chuckled.

"You don't mind it. I secretly think you love it."

"I think _you_ love it."

"I do. I love it…even though it's way too soon. I definitely love it," Rachel smiled.

Quinn grinned and kissed her sweetly.

"Go on a date with me when we get back to school," Rachel whispered against Quinn's lips.

"You asking me or telling me?" Quinn giggled still brushing her lips against the other girl's while she spoke.

Rachel pulled back and blushed while rolling her eyes, "I'm asking."

"And what is it that you're asking me?"

Rachel let out a loud laugh at Quinn's incessant need to tease.

"And I'm the horrible little tease?"

Quinn raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms waiting for Rachel to continue. The brunette huffed and shook her head.

"Fine. Quinn Fabray, dear sweet Queen Quinn Fabray, will you go out on a date with me the first Friday night that we are back at school?" Rachel asked.

"I'll think about it," Quinn smirked.

Rachel grunted and tackled Quinn to the bed. Quinn laughed joyously as they fumbled around teasing and tickling each other. They finally stopped with Rachel on top of Quinn bracing herself up on her arms with her hands planted firmly on the mattress by Quinn's shoulders. Quinn smiled up at her and ran her fingers up and down Rachel's back, massaging lightly.

"I would love to go on a date with you, dear sweet Queen Rachel Berry," the blonde beamed up at her.

Rachel returned the grin with a full-blown megawatt Rachel Berry smile reserved only for Quinn Fabray. Then the brunette swooped down and captured Quinn's lips with her own. Being able to kiss her best friend/roommate/somewhat girlfriend would never get old.

_(AN: So it's all fluffy and good I suppose lol. It's springtime and maybe I just enjoyed the nice weather and thought a little more fluff was needed. Who knows. I'm sure I'll be back to my angsty self soon enough. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed. The songs used are "Over Me" by the Wreckers, "Porcelain Doll" by Megan McCauley, "If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz, and of course "Nasim Joon" by OAR. I figured why not include a little of my own Nasim Joon playlist in this chapter. I really wanted to bring back Rachel's song writing. It started way back in the beginning, then I kinda forgot about it, then hinted at it again, and I have some ideas for it later so I think it was high time I really brought it back. Plus it gave me a way to show how much the girls trust each other and how their relationship is developing. And thus ends that rant, see you again next week! Same Glee time, same Glee place! Thank you, come again! oh and ps, Glee came back tonight! YAY! I just may be inspired to write more and update again sooner...reviews are my virtual chocolate and also serve as inspiration ;) just saying.)_


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Parting is such sweet sorrow. Rachel, being a thespian and a singer for most of her life, was well acquainted with the phrase by a certain Mr. William Shakespeare. So one would think she would have been prepared for parting with her own Romeo…or Juliet. Quinn was far more of a Juliet than a Romeo. Then again, Rachel wasn't much of a Romeo. In fact, she actually hated that play all together. If anybody asked, Rachel was always adamant in her belief that while true love does exist and that particular story has gone down as one of the most famous and tragic love stories, she thought it was actually a big old crock of shit.

According to Rachel, love at first sight is nearly unheard of. True love is a very real thing and it can last a life time if not longer, but usually is the result of trust and understanding that comes from spending a significant amount of time with each other. Earning and building upon the trust and the bond that forms over time…not magically falling in love with your mortal enemy the second your eyes meet.

Though, Rachel Berry could definitely be called a romantic (she loved flowers, wooing, courtship, and the whole nine yards), Romeo and Juliet never did it for her. In her humble, or not so humble opinion, Romeo and Juliet were two teens in way over their heads. Realistically, Juliet was a naïve fourteen year old girl who fell in love with a manic depressive boy. Romeo was all over the place. He was in love with Rosalind. Just kidding, he was really in love with Juliet. Oh, the world was against them. Their families hated each other. Blah, blah, blah. A bunch of people died and then the lovers tragically died. Both killing themselves. How did that qualify as romance?

Rachel had been through her fair share of heartache and struggles. High school had been Hell. So yes, had she been a naïve little girl with her first love who was clearly some crazy boy, maybe, MAYBE, she could understand entertaining some thoughts of that nature. But that's not currently the case, she is a grown woman. She is in love with a girl who is not some crazy manic depressive, manipulative little shit. So she knew with out a doubt that it would not physically kill her to be away from Quinn for a few days until they would both be back at school. Romeo and Juliet be damned! They would survive being a apart for a few days...though she really wasn't excited about it.

What she hadn't been prepared for was the actual parting. She knew that they would have to be apart. Quinn would return to her family's house. Rachel would stay in Lima. Her fathers would be back shortly to at least distract her until break ended. She knew all of that would happen. She had mentally prepared to miss Quinn terribly after they had a tearful, heartfelt goodbye. Still, she hadn't been prepared for the parting.

Rachel thought it would be tearful…or difficult…or something. They would kiss sweetly. Quinn would assure her again that she loved her, because even though Rachel hadn't actually said it back yet in those exact words, Quinn certainly wasn't shy about saying it. Besides, it's not like Quinn didn't know how Rachel felt even if she hadn't verbally expressed her own love yet. Their parting would be meaningful and hard and they would hold each other tightly and promise to call every day and think about each other very second. They would assure each other that it was only a few days and then they'd have all the time in the world to be together. Plus they had their first date to look forward to as soon as they would get back to school. Then they would kiss again and Quinn would confess her love yet again. Rachel would blush and then slyly avoid directly saying it back because it was still way too early for mutual declarations of love. Somehow though she'd manage to convey her love without words so Quinn would still know how she felt. They would hold hands for as long as possible until at the last second they would physically have to drag their hands apart. Quinn would walk to her parents' car sneaking glances back at Rachel. They would share some meaningful gaze as Quinn would climb into the car and then Rachel would get a little misty-eyed watching the love of her life drive away. Quinn would send her a quick text the second the car turned the corner out of sight. The text would simply say 'I love you.' Rachel would smile despite her tears and tell herself again that it would only be a few days before they would see each other again. It was going to be so romantic and heartfelt. Their goodbye would be heart-wrenching but they would manage. They would be fine because they were far better than Romeo and Juliet.

That's how Rachel had planned it all. She had been prepared for all those events. In some way, she even looked forward to those events…

But that is not what happened.

The morning had gotten off to a terrible start. They had overslept. Rachel had never truly overslept in her entire life. They were supposed to wake up with plenty of time for morning snuggles and few stolen kisses. They were supposed to have time for breakfast and showers. Separate showers because even though they had exchanged several very heated kisses and had a few steamy makeout sessions, they were still taking it slow…though every time they mentioned taking it slow, things somehow progressed even faster. Then they were going to head over to Brittany's place together where Quinn's parents thought their daughter had stayed.

But…they overslept. Quinn woke in a panic when her mother had called asking for directions to the Pierce residence because somehow they had taken a wrong turn and were on a different street in Lima. The blonde had scurried around the room in a blind panic, throwing her clothes in her bag, trying to find all of her things, and then tossing a small box to Rachel while muttering something about a Christmas present she forget to give the girl.

Rachel had then panicked because she hadn't gotten Quinn a Christmas present. They had planned to celebrate New Year's together not exchange gifts. Rachel had complained about how unfair it was for Quinn to spring that on her while rushing to leave her.

Quinn had called Rachel irrational and ungrateful. Rachel rolled her eyes and called Quinn insensitive to their burgeoning relationship. Quinn half-heartedly apologized while texting Brittany. Quinn then called her mother and explained that she was at Rachel's. She and Brittany had come over for breakfast this morning and not to worry because she already brought her stuff in case breakfast took too long.

Rachel opened the present while Quinn was on the phone. It was a necklace, a simple gold chain with a golden star. Rachel had cried saying how sweet and thoughtful Quinn was. Quinn pressed a quick kiss to the top of the brunette head while tossing her phone charger in her bag. Rachel tried to pull her down for a real kiss but the doorbell rang. Quinn reacted instantly, pulling away so quickly Rachel was afraid the blonde would get whiplash. Quinn had simply stated 'Brittany' and slipped on her shoes.

Rachel walked her to the door in silence. Brittany smiled at them. No sooner had they ushered Brittany inside before Quinn's parents turned the corner to Rachel's street. The Fabrays pulled up as Quinn walked out onto the porch. She waved to her parents. Brittany wrapped her in a fierce hug. Rachel stood awkwardly in the doorway to her own home. Quinn turned to Rachel with a small, sad smile. Mr. Fabray beeped his horn, signaling for Quinn to hurry. She hugged Rachel quickly in a strange one-armed hug. Rachel tried to hide her disappointment that she didn't even get a real hug. Brittany waved to Quinn happily as the girl got into her parents' car. Quinn nodded her head to both of them. With that, the Fabrays pulled out of the driveway. Quinn never even looked back at the house. Rachel's heart sank.

Parting is such sweet sorrow…but that just sucked.

For Quinn, everything about her last day with Rachel went terribly wrong. She had wanted to spend just a little more time with the girl. She didn't even get to revel in the morning cuddles. She hoped she would have time to hold Rachel while the smaller girl slept. She hoped she would wake up before Rachel and watch her sleep…not in a creepy way, but just knowing that she was there, she was with Rachel, and she was holding her. She wanted, no needed, those few moments of peace to start her day.

Instead she got a blaringly loud phone call from her mother. They had overslept. All plans were thrown out the window and they would be found out. Her parents would know she wasn't at Brittany's place. They would know she stayed with Rachel. They would know the girls had stayed alone together, unsupervised. They would know she got drunk on New Year's because what college student wouldn't get wasted in an unsupervised house with her best friends on New Year's Eve? They would know she slept in Rachel's bed for the past few days. They would know she was dating or not dating Rachel. Somehow, some way, they would find out that she was completely head over heels in love with Rachel. She was in love with a girl. She was gay. Her parents would be able to tell the second they looked at her.

What followed next had been sheer panic.

Quinn had hurriedly gathered her things. She tossed a Christmas present at Rachel. She snapped at her. They had their first sort-of fight but not really. They just glossed over it while Quinn had tried to get in touch with Brittany to save their cover. It all happened so fast and she didn't have a second to process anything.

She had rushed to the door just in time to squeeze Brittany inside before her parents showed up. She couldn't act different in front of them. She couldn't let them see how she felt. So she hugged Rachel as nonchalantly as possible. Just friends. Then she left without so much as a glance. Quick and painless goodbye. The quicker, the better. Just like ripping off a band-aid or something.

They had gotten away with it. She had spent the night with her girlfriend or not-girlfriend. She had kissed a girl and, to quote Katy Perry, she had liked it. She had never really been one to disobey her parents, but she had done exactly that so she could stay with Rachel and it had paid off in the best way possible. She couldn't believe it. Best start to a new year…except for the awkward goodbye, but she could text Rachel later and apologize for the giant mess she had been that morning.

"Your mother and I were looking into some options for you when you get back to school," Mr. Fabray spoke up.

Quinn raised her eyebrow in response but didn't comment.

"Quinnie, your father and I think it would be best if you found some other outlets…some place where you could make some new friends," Judy added.

"I think my old friends just fine," Quinn muttered.

"Excuse me, young lady," Russell said lowly.

Quinn immediately slouched down. She rarely talked back to her parents…especially in front of her father.

"Sorry."

"As I was saying, we looked into a few clubs and organizations you could become a part of," Russell continued.

"We just don't want you losing yourself in the college ways of life," Judy sent Quinn a pointed look.

Quinn swallowed thickly and hoped her pounding heart wasn't actually visible as it threatened to beat right through her chest. Was it possible that, despite her best efforts, her mother actually knew what was going on?

"Your friends are very sweet, but it never hurts to have more…to have some positive influences and acquaintances," Judy pressed.

"Positive influences?"

"Rachel is a sweet girl, Quinn…but she is an actress and a singer. You know what happens to those types of people? They wind up unemployed making the hard working people like your father pay for their unemployment checks. They live off the government. They live off the money he works hard for. One in a million people make it to a successful level. She's naïve enough to pursue that. Yes, she's a talented singer. We all heard her. But it's a difficult business and she's just not level-headed. I don't think that's the type of person you need to spend all your time with," Judy stated calmly.

Quinn was speechless.

"Your mother is right. She seems sweet enough but with the way she's been raised…you think your mother and I feel good about having you spend so much time with someone like that? We tried to get your room changed but didn't want to cause a scene. I'm not saying you can't be friends with her. I just think it would be best if you found some other friends to spend time with as well," Russell ranted.

"The way she's been raised? Because her dads are gay? Her fathers are good men. They've raised a wonderful young woman," Quinn retorted.

Quinn had argued with her father. A chilling silence took over in the car as Russell pulled off to the side of the road. He turned around and fixed his daughter with the iciest stare she'd ever seen.

"Quinn, this is not a discussion. I am your father and I expect to be treated with the respect that I deserve as such. I think it's time for you to get your head on straight. There is a chapter of Christ Crusaders on campus. They meet once a week and you're going. Your mother and I spoke to the deacon at the campus parish. He'll be expecting you every Sunday. You've been enrolled in a new class schedule. We spoke to the admissions office and declared your major. Congratulations, you're in pre-law. Your mother and I talked this over for quite some time while you were staying at your friend's house. She has some concerns and I have to say after your behavior in this car today, I agree with her. You never talk back, you've always been polite and you've never lied to us. You fooled around for a semester but it's time to take your future seriously. Then maybe next year we can get you transferred to Harvard. You had your fun, now it's time to grow up. It's time to live up to the Fabray name. You'll love law school. You need to be involved in the youth ministry on campus. I will say it again, you're not forbidden to be friends with Rachel or the rest of that group. It's just time to take your future seriously. I won't take no for an answer," Russell stated firmly.

"Christ Crusaders? Pre-law? And it doesn't matter what I want?" Quinn asked incredulously.

"Quinnie, please," Judy begged softly.

The tears that Quinn hadn't even realized were there, spilled down her cheeks. She wiped at them furiously while her mother stared at her with pity.

"There's nothing more to discuss, Quinn. We gave you an entire semester to joke around with your life. It's time to grow up," Russell replied.

With that, Russell pulled the car back out onto the road and the rest of the drive was spent in complete silence. Quinn had three texts from Rachel. She didn't have the heart to text her back when her mind was all over the place. She hadn't gotten away with any of it. They knew so much more than she gave them credit for. Christ Crusaders and check-ins with the deacon? This semester was going to be Hell. She wouldn't leave Rachel though. She would find a way around that. Her father could force her into pre-law. He could force her into Christ Crusaders. He would not force her away from Rachel. She had great friends. She wouldn't abandon all of them just because her parents think they're bad influences. It's her life and her father can't control her forever. Her mom definitely knew far more than Quinn had given her credit for, but that wouldn't stop her either. She was in love and her parents would just have to learn to deal with it.

Later that night, Quinn finally got the chance to call Rachel and apologize for their awkward goodbye.

"They're just going to have to deal with it. They can either accept me for who I am or they can't. Either way it doesn't matter. My mother is being insane about this. I have no idea what she said to my dad but now it's like they're planning my entire future and I'm sick of it. It's my life. I get to decide who I want to spend my time with. I get to decide what career I want to have. I didn't realize I had to have all of the answers today," Quinn ranted.

"Do you really think they'll just accept it?" Rachel asked softly.

"What other option do they have? Eventually I'll have to come out to them anyway. When that happens, they'll either love me the same or…I don't know condemn me to Hell," Quinn laughed.

"I know that seems ridiculous, Quinn, but what if they seriously can't accept it."

"I don't know, Rachel. But what other options do I have? I can't hide who I am forever. I can't hide how I feel about you. I can't hide how I feel about taking over the family business either. I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't know what I want to be but I don't want to be that. If I work for my father it's just more of my life that he can control. My job, my friends, and then what? He'll pick my husband? I know I'm not labeling myself and we're not labeling our relationship but I still think that's for me to decide, not my father."

"Please just be careful right now, Quinn. You need to pick and choose your battles. You don't want to start a war with your parents before you're truly sure you're fighting for the right cause."

"And here I thought I was going to be the one full of doubts. I mean it's my family and their issues. Please don't shut me out, Rach. I'm trying really hard right now to keep it together. The second I stop and think about what's really at stake, I start to freak. You think I don't know how this is going to play out? The second I so much as confirm my mother's suspicions everything will change. My father could send me to a convent. They want me to transfer next year. There's a hell of a lot of pressure on me right now and I thought if anything my girlfriend- or not girlfriend- or whatever the hell you are to me, I thought if anything you would be supportive and happy to know that I haven't run back into my proverbial closet and locked the door on us. Quite frankly that's all I really want to do half of the time. I'm terrified but I'm trying to take a stand for myself and for us. I thought you'd be happy about that," Quinn practically begged.

"I am. I really am happy that you're not running away from me."

"So why are you running from me then?"

"I'm not. I just…you are so much stronger than I could ever hope to be…but you shouldn't have to give up everything or fight so hard just to be with me. If you don't want to study law, then please for the love of God, don't study law. Just…don't come out until you're really ready. It will suck no matter how you time it, but there's no need to do it before you're ready. Think about it. Think things through. I'm not saying I want you to hide who you are, but up until a few days ago, you couldn't even admit it out loud that you might be gay. I'm not trying to put more pressure on you. I'm trying to take some of the pressure off. Think about your future. Think about which battles are the most important right now. We've barely even figured out what we are doing with each other so there's no reason to go all guns blazing into some war against your parents in the name of love. Don't worry so much. We'll go back and start our second semester. You'll take a few pre-law classes. Who knows, maybe you'll love it. If not, then drop out of those. Study whatever you want. We'll go on a date. We'll have fun just spending time together. We're taking it slow…or at least we're attempting to take it slow. Don't let your parents get to you. We'll be fine and yes, I'm thrilled that you're ready to fight the good fight to be with me. I get little butterflies and tingles up my spine knowing you really want to be with me. I've never wanted to let someone in the way I've let you in. I've never wanted to be with someone as much as I love being with you. I'm so unbelievably happy about the developments we made while you stayed with me…but I don't think you need to start fighting for us until you really have to. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better regarding that aspect of the relationship you have with your parents…but things for us are only going to get better. So let's focus on that. Let's enjoy each other," Rachel explained.

"Enjoy each other. Okay. I like that plan."

"Just don't freak out until it's time to freak out. They're your parents and ultimately they'll love you no matter what. But if we're going slow, try to go slow with them. I love you and I want you to have the life you want…and I really want to be a part of that life. So let's just take it one day at a time with each other, with your parents, and with everything."

There was silence for a moment.

"Quinn? Are you still there?" Rachel asked when it became too much for her.

"You said you love me," Quinn smiled.

"So I guess I did," Rachel chuckled after a second.

"Rach, I-," Quinn started.

"No! Mutual declarations are not allowed," Rachel giggled. "This was my turn. You can't say it back yet. We have to at least go on a date, Quinn Fabray. Cool your jets."

"Cool my jets?"

Both girls giggled for a moment.

"1950's much, Rach?" Quinn teased.

"It is a perfectly good phrase and continues to be in use. Cool your jets."

"Ok, ok, my jets are cooled," Quinn laughed. "One day at a time."

"One day at a time. Take your time figuring out what you want to do. Try a few pre-law classes. Try a theater class. Try whatever you want. If your parents want you to go to the Cult of Christ or whatever it's called-," Rachel started.

"Chris Crusaders. Not Cult of Christ. That's terrible, Rach," Quinn's boisterous laughter echoed through the phone.

"Well whatever. If they've spent so much time talking to a deacon and whatever, go for a couple of weeks. Get them off your back. Sometimes you have to play their game a little to get what you ultimately want."

"You are a sneaky, devious, little thing, aren't you?"

"Tease all you want, but I'm serious. As I said, pick and choose your battles before the actual war."

"If only my parents really knew. Not only are you corrupting their little girl with your gay ways, you're teaching her to lie and sneak around. Shame on you, Rachel Berry. Maybe you really are a bad influence," Quinn teased.

"Please if anything you corrupted me. I rarely drank and always went to class on time. In fact, I've never over slept in my life until you came into it. I also rarely cursed or used foul language and now you've turned into a crass sailor."

"Even you have admit, that's far more Santana's influence than mine."

"Very true," Rachel chuckled.

"Speaking of Santana, I think we should tell her."

"Tell her what?"

"Rachel, I'm serious."

"So am I. What would we tell her? She knows we like each other. She knows we've kissed. What more should we say? Should we tell her we're going on a date?" Rachel laughed.

"Can't I just tell her we're dating? Or at least tell Brittany? They're our best friends," Quinn reasoned.

"But we're not dating. We're going on a date. We're taking it slow. We're-," Rachel started.

"We're annoying. That's what we are. Can't we just skip all of this and get to good parts?"

"Are you really propositioning me over the phone? Scandalous, Quinn Fabray, simply scandalous."

"I'm not…that's not what I meant."

"All I need is one date. Just give us one date. Then you can ask me to go steady."

"Go- are you serious? This is not the 1950's, Rach. It's called going out. And you can ask me to be your girlfriend."

"Why do I have to ask? I asked you for the date. You should ask me to make it official," Rachel pouted.

"Are you always going to keep track like this? Keeping score? You ask me on a date. I ask you to be my girlfriend. You ask me to move in. I ask you to marry me. You ask me for a puppy. I ask you for a baby. Somehow, I'm stuck with all milestones and you get the little things in between."

"So now we're getting married and having puppies and babies?"

"Shut up. You know what I meant," Quinn flushed.

"I think it's really cute that you're planning our future. Still not going very slow…but very cute," Rachel smirked.

"Stop smirking. I can feel you smirking through the phone. It makes you look ridiculous by the way. I smirk. You just giggle and sing and stuff. I do the smirking."

"So demanding."

"So infuriating."

"So adorable."

"That's not how this works. You don't get to turn verbal sparing into flirty cuteness," Quinn whined.

"It's okay, baby. You're completely adorable and I love that about you. I just couldn't contain myself."

Quinn's heart fluttered again.

"Baby?" the blonde asked.

"Well…I didn't…yes?"

"I don't know, I mean, we're not dating. We're just going on a date. We're taking it slow," Quinn mocked.

"Fine. I'll wait. I don't have to call you anything since you're not my girlfriend."

"You're trying to torture me. I've finally figured you out. You just love torturing me."

"Only in the best ways though," Rachel dropped her voice to a seductive husk.

"Oh dear god," Quinn whimpered as Rachel broke out into another fit of giggles.

_(AN: And I'm back! Many of you have commented on the fact that as a straight woman, I've done at decent job at depicting the emotions and struggles for both girls in coming out and accepting who they are. You have no idea how much your words and comments have meant to me. As a playwright, fanfic writer, and a person in general, I truly believe that love is love no matter what gender and that has been my main focus. But a large part of my understanding has come from my best friend. I won't air all of his personal struggles in terms of his sexuality, but being by his side and watching him come to acceptance with himself and seeing his family's reactions really helped me get a better grasp on having even the slightest clue of what he went through. I won't pretend to truly know what that must be like for anyone in that situation, but I will say that any credit I have in writing this story goes to my love/friendship with him. With that said, I would like to briefly explain why I haven't updated in over a month. My best friend has been fighting cancer for the better part of a year. It started as testicular and progressed. I've sat by his side through numerous operations and treatments, including this past month. There was a brief period when things weren't looking particularly great. It spread to his lymph nodes. After several rounds of aggressive chemo, I am happy to say that he is finally in remission. During this past month, I went to a dark place, if you will. I couldn't find it in me to write while my inspiration, for lack of a better term, was in the hospital. I appreciate all of your support and reviews and kindness that I've experienced while writing and posting this story. I'm totally okay with discussing my own life, but normally I wouldn't post all about his problems; however, I really wanted to explain why I haven't updated. I hope to update more frequently. Perhaps, my muse is back, literally and figuratively, but if I don't update every couple of days know that I haven't forgotten this story and I will update it and someday finish it. I really hope you enjoy it. I hope you can continue to read and review as I continue to post. I don't need a ton of reviews on my personal life, I will say I truly appreciate any support, but mainly I just love the virtual chocolates about the work! In the end, the reason for posting at allreally comes down to the work so those reviews are always awesome! Thanks again for your patience and understanding! Also, how about that finale? I mean, seriously, Dianna and Lea acted their pants off and I was crazy impressed...the Finchel at Nationals was lame...I loved the NY scenes though and "For Good" was AMAZING! Thanks again!)_


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Rachel was in her room packing the last of her things to head back to college. It had been nice to be at home and not worry about classes or auditions or writing some musical composition piece. It had been relaxing, but she was ready to go back to school and be with her friends. Not to say she hadn't been hanging out with half of them while at home. That was a weird thought. Rachel wasn't used to having friends in Lima, or at least friends who would publicly hang out with her. After Quinn left she had gone to the mall twice with Santana and Brittany. Brittany had even invited her to watch a movie with them at Brittany's house. Santana's look at that had quickly informed Rachel that she should politely refuse. As much as they were, it was significantly less fun for Rachel to be the third wheel.

She had also played videogames with Puck a few times. He laughed in her face a lot while she attempted to play the videogames, but it was friendly bonding nonetheless. He even go her to go sled riding with Finn and him. The boys were back to being friends, or somewhat friends, and Rachel wanted to encourage their friendship since she still felt partially responsible for the ending of it in some way.

Finn. That had been another crazy but oddly pleasant development. The boy seemed really intent on being her friend again. After Puck had convinced her to join them for sled riding the day after Quinn left (which turned out to be the most fun she'd had all break excluding the days Quinn had been in Lima), Finn had started calling and texting Rachel almost daily. It began as a casual invite to hang out with him and Kurt. Now that the boys lived together it was nice to see Finn, but also really great to have Kurt as a buffer. Then he had texted her the next day to extend another invite to the Hudson/Hummel residence. She and Kurt baked cookies and sang Broadway duets while Finn had occasionally joined in or drummed along on Tupperware. She was surprised how much fun she had even after Kurt left to go Skype with Blaine. That night Finn drove her home and gushed about how happy he was to have her as a friend again. For the rest of that week he texted multiple times a day, usually about random thoughts that made her laugh, and then he would call each evening to either invite her to hang out or just talk about her day. It was like Friend Finn had become the considerate and thoughtful guy she had always wished Boyfriend Finn would've been in high school. The previous night they even went to a movie together and the boy opened doors and paid.

At first, Rachel was a little skeptical. Maybe Finn was only playing nice because he wanted her back. But she started to notice the subtle changes in him. Like the fact that he genuinely seemed to listen this time instead of tuning her out like he used to. Maybe he had just grown up and finally became the man she always knew he was. They talked about Quinn from time to time and his smile didn't even seem fake when she rambled on and on about how amazing the other girl was. He didn't even flinch when she talked about her feelings for Quinn. Maybe it wasn't a ploy to get her back. Maybe Finn was truly and genuinely being her friend for the first time.

She had also talked to Quinn nightly since the blonde left. Every evening she they called each other right before bed. The first two nights were lengthy conversations. Then they became quicker. Rachel loved talking to Quinn even if it was only for fifteen minutes before bed just to say 'hey I miss you' or 'I was thinking about you today.' They didn't have to discuss in detail what they both did all day. They just talked about anything and enjoyed hearing each other's voice before falling asleep. She hadn't exactly told Quinn about how much she had been hanging out with Finn. She had casually mentioned that they had spent a little time together but hadn't really told Quinn about the texting and phone calls. It felt weird to bring it up. She felt like by bringing it up she was insinuating that Finn wanted to be with her. She didn't want to make Quinn worry. Besides, she and Quinn didn't have to discuss every conversation she had with Puck or how often she hung out with Santana and Brittany. Rachel figured Finn would be out of her life more once they got back to school so there was no point in worrying Quinn for a week. They could discuss it if it became an issue somehow once school started again. Plus, she preferred to listen to Quinn talk about her day or banter and flirt back and forth instead of bringing up touchy subjects like Finn Hudson.

Rachel was just about to call Quinn when her father knocked on the door.

"Sweetheart, are you decent?" Hiram questioned through the door.

"Honestly, Daddy. When am I ever not decent?" Rachel giggled.

Hiram came into the room with his eyes covered. Dramatically feeling his way from the door to the wall and pretending to stumble around.

"Daddy," Rachel shrieked in laughter.

"Can I open them?" Hiram teased.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she laughed and another knock came on the partially open door.

"Is she decent?" Leroy asked, poking his head in with his hand over his eyes as well.

"I am fully clothed and very decent. You both are ridiculous," Rachel chuckled.

Both men uncovered their eyes. Hiram beamed proudly while Leroy cleared his throat and waved an envelope around excitedly.

"What is that?" Rachel questioned.

"This envelope, my dear darling daughter, is from New York City," Leroy wiggled his eyebrows.

"Shut up," Rachel gasped.

"Not just from New York City but from the world renowned school of the arts known as Julliard," Hiram grinned.

"Did you open it?" Rachel squealed, her heart pounding incessantly.

"It's not addressed to either one of us," Leroy replied, holing the letter out to his daughter.

"That would be a federal offense to open someone else's mail," Hiram teased.

Rachel ignored their jokes and ripped the envelope from Leroy's hands. She trembled as she held it in her own fingers.

"What do you think they want? That woman said I had the talent. They all knew it, but my connection with Shelby hasn't vanished. Do you think they changed their mind? Maybe it's just a request for donations or something. Maybe they've invited me to watch their spring showcases to throw it in my face that they didn't accept me," Rachel rambled.

"Just open, sweetheart," Hiram encouraged.

Rachel took a deep breath and nodded. Then she paused again.

"But why now? I applied. I auditioned. I've been at OSU for an entire semester. Why send me a letter now?" Rachel squeaked.

"You'll never know till you open it," Leroy, ever the calm one, reasoned.

Rachel nodded again and slowly cracked the envelope. She unfolded the letter inside and gasped as her eyes traced over every word.

"They want me. I've been selected to join their summer program and start full enrollment next fall. After receiving two letters of recommendation from my professors at OSU as well as a second and third review of my audition tape and my entrance essay, they've decided that they would be privileged to offer me a spot in their 2012 sophomore class. The summer program, in addition to my credit from OSU, will ensure me a position in their second year musical theatre program," Rachel read.

"Honey, that's fantastic!" Leroy exclaimed.

"We always knew you could do it. Those idiots didn't know what they were missing the first time around," Hiram ranted.

"My professors sent letters of recommendation? Who would do that? Why would they- I can't believe it," Rachel muttered incredulously.

"Well believe, baby girl, you're going to Julliard. Last year was a minor setback and they've obviously learned that you're the best there is. I bet they heard how you've been cast as a lead in all of the spring shows at OSU. That's unheard of for a freshman. Plus you always said that your composition teacher thought you were brilliant and your voice teacher said you have the voice of a generation," Hiram rambled on proudly.

"But I was rejected."

"Minor setback, Sweet Pea. People make mistakes and clearly they've learned that your birth mother's reputation does not reflect upon you."

"Yeah, but why now?" Rachel asked softly.

"Are you okay, Starlight?" Leroy asked, using his childhood nickname for her.

"I'm just starting to figure things out at OSU. I've got friends. I'm getting leads. It's only been a semester but for the first time, I feel like I fit in somewhere."

Hiram's happy-go-lucky face dropped. He and Leroy exchanged looks. They had missed a lot of their daughter's life. Work kept them both away. Business trips and romantic anniversary trips kept them away. Still, they both knew that Rachel had a hard time finding her way in high school. It was never easy to be so sure of your dreams and your future when the rest of your peers were so focused on the present instead. They knew she had her heartbroken once or twice. They knew she had been swept up in the popular crowd while she was dating Finn. They also knew that popularity is a fickle thing and she went from going out on the weekends with her boyfriend to staying at home alone making Myspace videos and crying because she liked girls. Both men had known what it was like to struggle with your sexuality and they trusted that Rachel would find her own way like she always had, by herself. She was an independent child and she never needed coddling. High school wasn't any different in their eyes. They'd let their daughter practically raise herself.

The change in her over the past few months was hard to miss. Even if they'd missed so much in her life, they could come up with plenty of excuses and reasons why they weren't there. Rachel was stronger for it. It all turned out how it was supposed to in the end. They couldn't fault themselves. They never neglected her just gave her endless independence. Anything can be reasoned and excused when looked at through the rose colored glasses of denial and these men were pros.

But still, they noticed how she had changed since she started college. She had friends. At times, she glowed when talking about her friends. She lit up around those people in a way that her fathers had only witnessed when she was on stage. She had confidence that she always lacked unless she had a microphone in hand. She had always been a truly remarkable performer and now she was becoming a truly remarkable young woman on and off stage. They knew finding true friends and finally accepting herself had been the change. They knew she found those things that first semester of college.

"Sweetheart, we know that this past semester has been wonderful for you. Anyone with eyes can see the way you've blossomed practically overnight…but did you ever think that maybe everything happens for a reason? Maybe you didn't get into Julliard so you could build up your confidence at OSU. Maybe you were meant to use it as a starting block. Julliard is your dream. New York is your dream. You've wanted to be on Broadway since you were a child. Maybe you needed to grow before they could accept you. I know you have friends at college and you're developing all of these intricate and wonderful relationships there…but your friends also love and accept you for who you are, for all of who you are, which includes your dreams of Broadway. I know they'll miss you and you'll miss them, but they're your friends. They'll understand that this is your dream. OSU is a stepping stone. You met some wonderful professors who clearly saw that your talent is bigger than what their school can offer. That means something, Rach. You're bigger than that school. You're meant for more," Hiram explained.

"You said it yourself, rejection is all part of the actor's process. It was a minor setback to be rejected last year but you're stronger for it. Everything happens for a reason and look where you are now. Your dreams are truly in your grasp. You can do this," Leroy added in beaming proudly.

Rachel knew she could do it. She knew she could take Julliard and eventually Broadway by storm. She knew she would do wonders there just as she had already done at OSU. Yes, clearly her professors saw a bigger talent in her than initially shown. Yes, they thought she'd flourish at Julliard. Rachel knew she would as well…the question remained: did she want to?

If Julliard had been conflict number one, Judy Fabray came marching into their dorm room as conflict number two.

Rachel's fathers, the men who so dearly loved her but were so frequently absent, had spent the past twenty four hours hovering over her every move, studying her every inhale, and then holding their breath anxiously each time she exhaled as if she was going to give them the magic answer of her destiny. She knew they were proud. They made that very obvious. They'd always been proud…just not incredibly involved. Now it seemed all they wanted was to be involved in the biggest decision of her life. Technically, she had two months to decide what she was going to do about Julliard. Two months before the summer program admission deadline. Would she leave OSU? Would she leave her friends? Would she leave Quinn? Two months seemed so far away and yet entirely too close.

Deciding to go to OSU hadn't really been a decision. Julliard had commended her on her excellence as a performer but had politely refused based on the school's reputation and her biological connection to what has been known as one of Broadway's greatest tragedies in the last twenty years. OSU hadn't been a decision. It had been a fall back option, a stepping stone just as her father had mentioned. She had gone there with no intentions of staying. She was going to build up her resume and make Julliard wish they had asked her to stay the first time she auditioned….she just hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. One semester? After one semester of a few smaller roles and excelling in all her classes? One semester of wowing her professors day in and day out? Just one semester before two of them felt the need to remind Julliard of the mistake they made. Julliard's current freshman class had been underwhelming. The only boy who showed real promise left for a show in the West End, making the class of 2011 the least successful freshman class in decades. Maybe the school needed the scandal of Shelby Corcoran's estranged daughter fighting against all odds and coming out on top. Whatever the reason, Rachel still couldn't believe that within seven months of their decision to reject her, they had already changed their mind.

Ohio State had merely been the last resort for her. She had settled on being closer to home. Quinn had also fallen back on Ohio State. Her parents had craved Harvard for her. She had craved anything but the Fabray Legacy. They both hadn't chosen Ohio State as a top pick but had somehow found each other. Maybe that was the point. Rachel couldn't imagine her life without the blonde. Broadway had always been Rachel's dream, but Quinn was her reality. She made everything seem brighter. She made it all real. Over the course of five, going on six, months, Quinn Fabray had flipped Rachel's world over and turned it inside out. Where her dreams really worth pursuing if she didn't have anyone to share them with? She was only a freshman in college. They weren't even truly dating…yet Rachel knew she'd found her heart, her reality, the person to keep her forever in love and forever grounded.

How do you choose between your dreams and the very thing that makes it all feel real?

Rachel's mind had been swirling for the past twenty four hours with all of these thoughts. She fell hard for Quinn and she fell fast…but isn't that exactly what happened with Broadway? One day her daddy put a microphone in her hand and immediately she fell in love with singing. Years later they took her to her first Broadway show and immediately she had a dream, a future. Maybe that's just how Rachel Berry did things. She fell hard and she fell fast, but it hadn't steered her wrong so far…excluding her terrible mistakes in high school with Finn and then subsequently Noah…but it still all ended up working out for the best.

So complication number one was certainly…complicated.

But complication number two was so much worse.

"Quinn," Rachel had practically squealed and tackled the girl in a hug as soon as the blonde's head popped into their shared room.

Quinn lit up instantly as the petite brunette wrapped her arms around her forcing Quinn to drop the duffle bag she had been carrying. Quinn was instantly relived to finally have the small girl in her arms again. She breathed in the scent of Rachel's shampoo, her perfume, and everything Rachel. The brunette basked in the warmth and familiarity of the blonde's embrace. This is what Rachel had needed in the past day. She needed to feel these arms to find some clarity in the insanity that Julliard had plopped into her lap.

They hugged just a little too long for a normal friendly hug and Judy cleared her throat.

Rachel pulled back reluctantly with a blush, "Hello Mrs. Fabray, allow me to help you with that."

The brunette immediately grabbed Quinn's small rolling suitcase from Judy.

"How was the rest of your break?" Quinn asked, excitement at seeing the other girl rolling off her in waves.

"Uneventful," Rachel replied immediately, thinking only of how much she had missed the blonde and hadn't even realized until that very second.

"And yours?" Rachel asked, her eyes dancing with happiness.

"Boring," Quinn laughed.

They hugged again.

"Quinn, your father is waiting downstairs," Judy interrupted.

Quinn pulled away, blushing, and shook her head.

"I'll get my other bag. Don't want to keep Dad waiting," Quinn sang as she grinned and winked at Rachel.

The brunette giggled in return.

"Rachel, may I have a word?" Judy asked as soon as Quinn left.

And suddenly all the joy evaporated right out of the young girl. She took in Judy's stern expression and her heart started to pound.

Enter Complication Number Two.

_(AN: That's right I'm BACK! And I'm back in a REALLY BIG WAY! You guessed it: All of these updates? I've finished it. I hope you enjoy the conclusion of Nasim Joon!)_


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"Rachel, may I have a word?" Judy asked, her face stern but not hinting at all as to what would unfold.

"Of course," Rachel squeaked.

"I wanted to talk to you while Quinnie was out of the room. I guess it's best to just get right to the chase since we don't have much time."

"Of course. Please, have a seat, Mrs. Fabray," Rachel gestured nervously to the chair at Quinn's desk.

"I think I'd rather stand."

Rachel nodded but took a seat on her bed. Her stomach flipped as Judy took a deep breath.

"I know you care a great deal for my daughter. I know she thinks of you as a very dear friend, so I'm coming to you out of concern. I'm hoping that as her friend you'll hear what I'm trying to tell you and you'll understand. Russell is a very good man. He is an incredibly caring and loving man…but things are only black and white for Russell. There is no gray area. He is a good Christian man and he loves Quinn with everything he has…but he won't magically see the grays in life. A sin is still a sin no matter what pretty little package it comes in," Judy explained looking at Rachel pointedly.

Rachel bristled immediately and straightened her shoulders ready to respond. She puffed up like a tiny bird with its feathers ruffled and Judy's heart ached for the poor girl. She knew Rachel had already been through so much in her lifetime but now was not the time for sympathy. It was Judy's job to save her daughter. She would not let this girl corrupt her Quinnie, no matter how small and young Rachel looked while trying to stand up to the older woman in her indignation.

"Mrs. Fabray, I can assure you that-," Rachel began.

"Please allow me a moment before you start in on your fathers and all that their lifestyle entails. I'm not here to insult you or them. I'm simply telling you that Russell will not allow it. Whatever you're doing with my daughter will not be tolerated. He loves her and he will protect her, but his good name, his good Christian standing is the most important thing to him. He is a man of God and regardless of your beliefs, Russell believes very strongly that it is wrong. He will not hesitate to correct whatever problems he may find in his own daughter…by any means necessary."

"Mrs. Fabray, Quinn and I aren't-," Rachel tried again.

"I know I may not one hundred percent sure what is going on between you two but please do not insult my intelligence by lying and claiming it is nothing. There is something between you and it ends now. My daughter is not a homosexual. This is some phase that you have coerced her into. Maybe this is some college experimentation for you both, but the stakes are much too big for you girls to carry on this way. Russell and I love her but he will fix her."

"She's not broken. She doesn't need to be fixed," Rachel retorted.

"Rachel, you're young and you're a dreamer. You've got all these big dreams of being an actress and living in New York City and I think that's wonderful for you. Quinn is not the same way. She's a very realistic person. Her father and I raised her to know her limits. She's very intelligent and can usually keep a level head. She has the makings of a great lawyer just like her father. That's what Russell sees when he looks at her. I know you're dear friends to each other, but I also know there's more going on then just friendship. There are a lot of factors in this situation that you're either not aware of or simply ignoring. You and Quinn have been raised differently. There are certain expectations that we have for our daughter. Think about it on a different level than our varying beliefs on homosexuality. You're Jewish. She's Catholic. You're an actress. She's a level-headed future lawyer. You're too different to make, God forbid, a _**relationship-**_," Judy almost choked on the word.

"-a relationship work in a long-term sense. Not to mention that it's wrong. I'm not here to preach to you about the immorality of being a homosexual. You were raised the way you were raised. But I will not let my daughter be drug down the same path…and Russell certainly will not stand for it. If you keep this up, she will lose everything. I know my Quinnie and she will fight whole-heartedly for what she believes is right. She will stand by you because that is the kind of friend that Quinn is. But Russell will also fight for what he believes is right and if you truly care about her, you have to realize what you're asking her to give up."

"To give up?" Rachel echoed in confusion.

"You're asking her to give up her entire future. My husband will send her away. He'll send her away and if she won't go willingly, he'll cut her out of his life. Sometimes tough love is the only kind of love a man like Russell knows how to give. I'm not saying I agree with my husband's ideas at all times, but as his wife, it is my duty to support him. We can't support our daughter choosing to live such a life. He will cut her off and I will be forced to support him or I'll lose everything too," Judy's eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"You can't be serious. You'd stand by him instead of your own child? You'd let her be thrown out? Disowned?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"I will stand by my husband. You don't know what kind of man Russell can be. You don't know the situation you're putting Quinn into. She'll fight him and she'll lose. She'll lose her inheritance. She'll lose her scholarship. She'll lose her future. Most importantly, she'll lose her family and I won't be able to stop that."

"You won't be able to? She's your daughter! She should be the most important person in your life! You're her mother! Mothers are supposed to be there and care for their children. I may not have had a mother but I have two fathers who would support me through anything and they would never let my future be threatened by either one of them. They'd never threaten my future to begin with."

"And therein lies the difference between your family and ours. I won't lose my husband and my other daughter to fight for a sin. I will not ruin my marriage and my family to support my daughter in making the biggest mistake of her life. Live your life however you chose but leave my daughter out of it. I cannot support her in this. I won't be a part of this sin and my husband certainly will not tolerate it," Judy nearly panted as she fought to remain in control of her temper and her fear of her husband.

Why couldn't Rachel understand? This was much bigger than merely loving whomever you happen to fall in love with. Russell would never compromise his beliefs. He could be a terrifying man when he felt he was being asked to compromise. Judy loved him but she was also afraid of him. Quinn had never learned that fear and would lose everything because of that. This was the only way Judy could save her daughter. She had to fight to keep Quinn on the right path in God's eyes…and more importantly, in Russell's eyes.

"I think you need to leave, Mrs. Fabray," Rachel seethed.

"And I think you need to think about someone other than yourself. Quinn is my daughter and I will protect and save her at all costs."

"Protect and save her from everything except your husband and your bigotry it seems!" Rachel retorted bitterly.

"I'm sure you see this as a criticism of your family and your way of life, as well as the way you were raised, but I can assure I'm only looking out for the best interests of my daughter. As her parent it is ultimately my duty to take care of her and raise her the best way I see fit in God's eyes. You need to accept that Russell and I are Quinn's parents so ultimately we do know what's best for her," Judy stated calmly.

"Ultimately, it's your job, as her parent, to love her no matter what. At least that's the way I was raised. My parents taught me that they would love me no matter what and try to guide me along the right path. When I make mistakes, they'll be there to help me correct them. When I fall in love, they'll support me no matter who I fall in love with. Because _**ultimately**_, Mrs. Fabray, my fathers taught me to love and not to spread hate and vicious discrimination for any reason, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender. Somehow that seems far more Christian to me than anything you've just said…and yes, I'm Jewish so I do appreciate the irony in that statement."

"As I've said, live your life however you want. Believe whatever you want, but if you really care for Quinn at all, you'll think about her future and what it is exactly you're asking of her. I thought you might care enough to realize what you're making her give up for you. Maybe you should ask yourself if you'd be willing to do the same. Would you give up your parents? Your future? Your dreams? Would you give up Julliard, New York, and Broadway just for the chance to be with Quinn? There's no guarantee that you'll even work out. Think about both of your futures and the stakes involved. That's all I'm asking," Judy nearly begged.

Rachel studied the woman in front of her. Mrs. Fabray looked so much like an older version of Quinn. Yet, Rachel couldn't imagine Quinn ever being so cold, so concerned with appearances, so unforgiving to her own child. The woman standing before her was pathetic. She couldn't even stand up to her own husband for the sake of her child. Quinn would never back down. Then it hit Rachel, Judy was right. Quinn would never back down. She'd give up everything to be with Rachel if she really felt that's what was right. Quinn didn't judge people based on their sexuality. She was so much better than her parents. But she would lose everything because her parents were so close-minded. Would Rachel really be willing to give up everything to be with Quinn, too? Isn't that exactly what she'd been wondering ever since that letter from Julliard?

"I'm not forbidding you to be friends with my daughter. You're still roommates at least until the end of this year. But if this continues and Russell finds out, I hope you're aware now of what it is you're asking of Quinn. If you truly care about her, you'd put her first. You would put her needs first. You can keep her in your life as her friend. I don't like it but I can't stop her from having friends. As I've said, if you both continue carrying on this way and my husband finds out the truth, she'll lose everything. Just think about it," Judy continued.

Rachel swallowed hard as she battled with her own doubts mixing with Judy's words. They were in well over their head. Quinn didn't even know the battle she was fighting. What was it Rachel had said to her just a little over a week earlier? Pick your battles wisely before you're even sure this is a war you want to fight. What if Quinn picked Rachel over her family and they didn't work out. What if this is just a college experiment for Quinn? Three years ago, Rachel would've thought she'd give up everything to be with Finn Hudson for the rest of her life. Now, she knows that would've been the biggest mistake she could've ever made. What if Quinn gave up everything for her and in three years wishes she hadn't? She could lose her future, her family….all for Rachel.

"Hey," Quinn said softly from the doorway, interrupting Rachel's thoughts.

"Quinnie, you startled me," Judy giggled. "I trust your father has the car all ready to go."

"He's ready," Quinn smiled, pulling her final suitcase into the room.

The older Fabray nodded and turned her gaze back to Rachel.

"Well Rachel, it's been nice chatting with you. I hope you'll look out for my little girl this semester," Judy smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes.

"Of course, Mrs. Fabray," Rachel replied, though she felt nauseous and wondered how the words even came out of her mouth.

Judy hugged Quinn tightly at the door.

"I love you, sweetie. Always remember that I love you," Judy promised.

"Yeah, mom," Quinn laughed awkwardly, "I love you, too. Now go. Don't keep Daddy waiting."

"Of course, dear. Have a great semester. I love you."

"Alright, Mom. You're being weird. Don't start crying on me. I'll be home again before you know it. I'll be there for Easter."

Judy nodded and kissed her daughter on the cheek before leaving.

"Okay so that was weird," Quinn breathed a sigh of relief after her mother left.

Rachel merely nodded. She thought about telling Quinn everything right then. Quinn would be furious. She'd probably march right down after her mother and tell both her parents what she thought of them. Or she'd completely freak out. Rachel didn't want to start World War III…at least not today. Besides, she hadn't even had time to really process what had happened herself. How could she possibly explain it to Quinn when she didn't even understand it? Judy knows about them. Judy and Russell will disown Quinn if they find out she's in a relationship with Rachel.

"Rach?' Quinn smirked.

"Sorry. Spaced out there for a second."

"What did you guys even talk about? How awkward was that?" Quinn laughed.

"It was definitely awkward," Rachel forced a laugh. "We just talked about my dreams and stuff about the future. She brought up Broadway and New York. She definitely thinks you should be a lawyer."

"Yeah well Mom and Dad are in for a treat there. Whatever. They can't control my life forever."

Quinn sat down on the bed beside Rachel. She took the brunette's hand and smiled at her.

"Hi," Quinn breathed.

"Hi," Rachel smiled back.

"I didn't actually get to greet you properly," Quinn smirked before leaning in toward Rachel for a kiss.

"Quinn, I-," Rachel leaned back to stop her.

Quinn pulled back, hurt. Rachel took her hand back from Quinn. She stood up and paced for a minute.

"What's wrong, Rach?" Quinn asked, still stinging from the rejection.

"I just think…we keep saying we're taking it slow and-," Rachel started.

"And I haven't seen you for like a week. I wasn't going to jump your bones or anything but I thought I could at least kiss you. I've missed you," Quinn replied quietly.

Rachel melted slightly while her heart sunk into her stomach. She couldn't do this to Quinn. She loved her. She couldn't ask so much of her. She hadn't even told her about Julliard yet.

"I missed you, too…but I need some time. It was easy to get caught up over Christmas. I just want to take our time and really figure this out before we're all over each other, in our room, alone, unsupervised, and…do you see how things could get out of hand?"

"I do have some self control, Rach," Quinn snorted.

"Maybe you do, but maybe I don't trust myself, Quinn. Can you just not push me on this?" Rachel asked icily.

Quinn snapped her attention to Rachel quickly. She studied her for a moment.

"What the hell is going on? Did my mother say something stupid and homophobic to you?" Quinn asked, narrowing her eyes.

"She didn't…I just don't think you realize the situation we're in."

"What situation? I want to kiss you. I like you. You like me. In fact, you said you love me. I seem to recall both of saying we love each other at some point, regardless of your stupid rule of mutual declarations or whatever. I don't know what has gotten into you, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd clue me in. What is your problem," Quinn snapped.

"My problem? So now there's something wrong with me just because I don't want to grope you the second we're alone? I thought we were seriously going to work on this. Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe I was wrong about us."

"Wait, what? What are you saying? Why are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

"I'm not. You're trying to pick a fight with me just because I don't want to hump like bunnies the first second we see each other!"

"No, you're clearly trying to pick a fight. Stop and listen to what you're saying for one second. You're starting a fight for no reason," Quinn huffed.

"If I'm so annoying to you, why even bother with me then?" Rachel hissed.

"I never said you were annoying me. Don't put words in my mouth. Stop trying to fight with me. Just tell me what the hell is going on!"

Rachel opened her mouth to shout back, but quickly deflated seeing the tears in Quinn's eyes. Her own eyes welled up.

"Quinn, I'm sorry. I didn't…I don't want to fight with you. I'm just…I'm tired. And I'm confused…you're my best friend. I mean…what if this is all some big mistake?"

Quinn swallowed thickly, blinking back her tears. She took a deep breath.

"Do you…do you think this is a mistake?"

Rachel couldn't look at Quinn. She couldn't see her cry if she was really going to do this. But with Julliard, and now Quinn's mother…Rachel couldn't ask Quinn to give up everything for her if she wasn't even sure she was willing to do the same.

"I don't know…I just think…well…maybe?" Rachel whispered, as her tears started sliding down her cheeks.

She wiped her cheeks off furiously. She couldn't cry. This was for the best. She was doing this for Quinn.

"Maybe? You…I don't even…wow," Quinn replied faintly as her heart broke.

"Quinn, I'm sorry," Rachel said immediately.

"No! Hey, I mean…it happens, right? We're- we're friends. I just thought…wow…you kinda blindsided me there."

"I know. I've just been thinking and I don't want to hurt you. And I think…maybe we should cool down a bit."

"Cool down? We're barely even started," Quinn nearly whimpered.

"I know that. I'm not saying that I don't want to be with you. It's just…you're my best friend. Can't we just start there again? See where it takes us?"

"I take it we're not going on a date Friday," Quinn muttered sullenly.

"I don't think that would be wise."

"I don't understand where all this is coming from, Rach. Two days ago you couldn't wait to see me. Two days ago you couldn't wait to hold me. Two days ago you were in love with me."

"I know. And I am, I mean, I- I feel so much for you. It's scary how much you mean to me but…today I had the awful realization that I could lose you forever…and as much as I'd like to be with you, I don't ever want to lose your friendship," Rachel explained weakly.

"So this is you bowing out gracefully then," Quinn nodded.

"Not bowing out entirely, just taking a small intermission."

Quinn nodded again and wiped her tears, "I need to go. I'm just…I'm gonna go hang with Brittany for a little while or Santana or Puck or somebody. I just…a little space might be good. We're both kind of worked up right now and I really don't want either of us to say something stupid, something we don't really mean."

"Quinn, this is all on me, okay. I'm the one with the issues. Don't think that I don't care about you. I think I care too much. I'm really sorry."

"It's fine. Well it's not fine, not really, but it will be. I just need a little time at the moment," Quinn smiled weakly and left.

The second the door shut, Rachel finally let go. She sank onto her bed and sobbed. She had not only broken her heart but her best friend's as well.

(_AN: It's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better. But hang in there!)_


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Quinn sat on a bench in the courtyard between the dorms. Where could she go? If she went to Brittany's, there was a chance Santana would be there. Brittany wouldn't ask questions but Santana wouldn't rest until she figured out who made Quinn cry and why they did it. That would mean she'd have to explain to Santana that she and Rachel had been together, or at least kind of together, and they had kept it from the other girl. Really though, they hadn't been dating so would it just make her look pathetic if she was crying about the fact that Rachel had changed her mind about going on a date with her. Surely, Santana would have some biting remark about how Quinn needed to get over it and that wasn't what the blonde wanted to hear at the moment. She really didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to curl up in her own bed and cry her eyes out. That option was ruled out though since her own bed was in the same room with Rachel. Maybe Rachel had a point. They hadn't even been dating and now Quinn couldn't go to her own room just because Rachel was there. What if they had been dating for months and had a huge fight? Where would Quinn go? What if they had been dating for a year and broke up? Most couples who live together date before they move in together. At least then they know how to work as a couple. She and Rachel were living together first then becoming a couple. They didn't even know if they could work as a couple but knew they work as best friends. What if they screw that up?

No. Quinn loves Rachel and Rachel loves her…or at least Quinn had thought Rachel loved her. Shouldn't that make it easier? They already had the greatest foundation for a relationship. They were best friends. Taking to the next level seemed only right. If you love your best friend and your best friend loves you, you should date. It's logical.

Still going through the first phases of dating? The awkwardness? The jitters? How do you find your way in a relationship when you live with that person? Doesn't that already take it up a level? There's no starting slow when you live together. It's either all in or all out, and apparently Rachel was leaning more towards all out.

Quinn was going in circles in her mind. She just needed to talk to somebody. She pulled out her phone. After two rings, the other person picked up.

"Hello."

"Hey, B. Are you with S right now?" Quinn asked.

"Yep. We're gonna watch a movie. Oh! Do you and Rachel wanna come? We're watching The Devil's Rejects! Santana said it's scary so she'll want me to protect her. You can protect Rachel," Brittany giggled.

"Thanks, B, but I think I'm going to have to pass tonight," Quinn fought back the lump in her throat.

"Do you think Rachel would protect you? She's tiny but sometimes she's kinda scary. She gets really intense."

"I don't know. Maybe. She does get really intense."

"Are you okay, Quinn? You sound sad," Brittany said softly.

"I'm okay, B. Thanks. But have fun with Santana."

"I will," Brittany giggled and hung up.

Quinn sat alone for another moment. Such a typical romantic comedy moment. The heroine is left alone on a bench by herself, wallowing in self-pity just as everyone else she knows pairs off and falls in love. All she needs now is some sappy love song to start playing so she can truly break down in public. Then Rachel will come running across the courtyard, shouting apologies and declarations of love. They'll kiss and be in love forever just as a fountain goes on behind them somewhere and fireworks burst overheard. All of this will accompanied by Celine Dion because that's how Rachel would want their movie moment to go…and when did Quinn get so dramatic? When she started hanging out with Rachel of course.

She had been so wrapped up in envisioning this fantasy life, this romantic comedy, that she had forgot just how much her heart hurt…until she remembered why she was there in the first place, sitting alone on a bench. Then the pang in her heart came back in full force.

"Don't Rain on my Parade" started blasting from her phone. She knew immediately it was Rachel. The girl had picked her personalized ringtone, obviously. Quinn felt the urge to chuck her phone into the imaginary fountain she had dreamed up in the courtyard…or at least smash it on the ground since that part actually existed. It beeped that she had a new missed call. She scrolled on the screen to view it and stared at Rachel's name flashing. Rachel Barbra Berry. For whatever reason, Rachel had put her full name into Quinn's phone. They had just started speaking to each other at the beginning of the year when Rachel had suggested they exchange contacts in case of an emergency. Quinn had handed her phone to the brunette and told her to put her number in. Rachel had not only put her phone number with her full name, but also her home phone in Lima, and both her fathers' cell phones. Quinn had thought it was a little over-the-top at the time, but then again, Rachel had always been slightly exaggerated in life. As the months passed, she began to stare at that name fondly each time "Rachel Barbra Berry" called. Then one night, Quinn had received a text message from an unknown number. The second she opened it "Don't Rain on my Parade" blared in their room. Rachel had giggled and said that was her personalized ringtone for when she called Quinn and told the blonde to save it. Quinn had laughed with her and saved it. Then each time she heard the song, even if it wasn't on her phone, her heart leapt with the thought of a phone call from "Rachel Barbra Berry."

Now the name and the ringtone hurt.

"Quinn?"

Quinn wiped her eyes hastily and turned to face the familiar voice behind her.

"Hey," Quinn attempted a smile.

"What are you doing out here?" Sam asked.

"Nothing just…hanging out. I needed some air."

"I figured you and Rachel would be swept up in roommate coupley bliss," Sam teased.

Quinn's fake smile faltered.

"What happened?" Sam asked, suddenly serious.

Quinn just shook her head as her tears returned.

"Oh Quinn," Sam hushed as he sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her smaller frame.

Quinn's body shook as she cried into Sam's embrace. He tried to soothe her but she just clung to him tighter. Eventually, she regained control and pulled back enough to study the boy in front of her. Sure, they hadn't worked as a couple but they were still friends. Why couldn't Rachel see that? Sometimes it was worth the risk and with the right person the friendship can be rebuilt if the relationship fails.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sam asked gently.

"She wants out."

"Out?"

"We weren't even really in but she wants out. She doesn't want to be with me," Quinn confessed.

"She said that?" Sam questioned incredulously.

"No, she said she wants to be with me but she values our friendship more. It's the politer, kinder way to say she wants out."

"Oh wow. Quinn, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Quinn sniffed.

"It is?"

"No, it's really not. But I'll get over it. I have to, I guess. I mean she's my best friend. I don't want to lose her completely. If we can't be together at least I'll still have that, ya know."

"Yeah, I know exactly what you meant," Sam said pointedly.

Quinn nodded and pulled out his embrace just slightly but still enough for him to notice.

"Quinn, I'm going to be totally honest with you. From experience, you're a hard one to get over. You were like my best friend and I loved you more than I ever thought possible. If Rachel cares about you even half as much as I did when we were together, then this will be just as hard for her as it is for you. But also from experience, I know how much it sucks to want to be with someone so much but it just doesn't work out the way you hoped. I can honestly say it's much better to have you in my life as a best friend than not have you in my life at all. And with time, it hurts less and you're a really hard girl to get over, Quinn, but I think I'm getting there," Sam smiled at the last part.

"I'm really glad you and I are still friends, Sam."

"So am I. Besides, if you kinda like girls it really wouldn't have worked for us anyway, so that makes it a little easier."

They both chuckled lightly.

"Seriously, Quinn. You'll be okay. It will suck for a while and it probably sucks worse because you live with Rachel, but eventually it will all work out the way it's supposed to. If you're meant to be with her, you guys will get there. If you're not, then she'll be lucky to have you as the world's greatest best friend…but if I'm totally honest, which I think I've been doing pretty good being that much so far, if I'm totally honest, I think Rachel's an idiot not to want to be with you. You're the best thing that will ever happen to that girl. Screw New York. Screw Broadway. Nothing and nobody tops Quinn Fabray," Sam grinned.

"Thank you, Sam," Quinn smiled back and hugged him tightly.

"And here I thought you were going to tell me she got back together with Finn," Sam chuckled.

"Finn?"

"Yeah the big idiot's been going on and on about spending time with Rachel. Rachel this and Rachel that. She's like all the guy's been talking about since New Years."

"Seriously? Since New Year's? They've been hanging out?" Quinn asked, as her heartbeat picked up.

Is that why? Maybe Rachel and Finn had reconciled. No, Rachel is a lesbian. Lesbians don't date guys…especially guys like Finn Hudson.

"I don't know if they've been hanging out every day," Sam shrugged. "I mean I'm the guy's bro, I'm not his girlfriend. We didn't talk on the phone every day or whatever…but we talked on facebook a little. He called me one day. That was kinda weird. But yeah, they've been talking more. I figured you knew that."

"I didn't know they'd spoken since New Year's," Quinn replied.

"They went to a movie one night or something. He's like in love with her something, but I think it's more the fact that he can't have her than him actually wanting her."

"Right."

"Hey, don't sweat it, Quinn. I wouldn't have brought it up if I thought it'd freak you out. Rachel's probably just confused about all this stuff with you and needed a friend. Puck's been spending every second of every day texting with Mercedes, who would've figured, so I'm sure it gets a little old trying to have a serious conversation with him. Besides, he can turn anything into an innuendo and I doubt that's what Rachel needs if she's been trying to sort through her feelings for you. Finn may be dumber than a box of rocks but he's a good listener," Sam explained kindly.

"Maybe you're right."

"She really cares about you…even if it doesn't end up the way you want, she really does care. Anybody with eyes can see that. Rachel adores you. You're practically that girl's everything. Just give her some time. It'll all work out the way it's meant to," Sam reassured.

Quinn nodded.

Later that night, Quinn finally returned to the room. Rachel was sitting quietly on her bed but looked like she had just stopped crying right before Quinn entered.

"Hey," Quinn smiled softly.

"Hi," Rachel croaked, her voice hoarse from obviously crying much longer than Quinn had cried with Sam.

"Sorry I just bailed."

"Please don't apologize, Quinn. If anything I should be the one apologizing. I didn't want to-," Rachel started.

"Let's not. I really don't want to have that conversation again. I get it. I just needed some space. I needed to clear my head."

"Is your head clear now?"

"Not really, but it's getting there…how are you?" Quinn asked after a moment.

Rachel took a deep breath and then blew it out noisily. The brunette shook her head and sighed.

"So you're good then," Quinn joked lightly.

Neither one of them laughed. Rachel tried to smile at Quinn's attempted humor but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Are you okay?" Rachel questioned softly.

Quinn nodded though neither one believed her. Rachel didn't press the matter.

"Have you talked to Santana or Brittany?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah but they were watching scary movies all night or something. We were invited but…yeah."

"Right."

Silence. Quinn sat down on her bed and Rachel stared at her from her own. More silence.

"So this awkward," Quinn laughed.

"Incredibly," Rachel giggled softly.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"I think I'm kind of beat actually. I might just sleep….you're more than welcome to watch a movie but I'll probably tuck in early," Rachel replied.

"Nah I'm good. I think I could use the sleep, too."

They both got ready for bed in silence. It seemed they couldn't even get their normal nightly routine right. Rachel usually brushed her teeth and washed her face first while Quinn changed her clothes. Then they would switch before Rachel would get the lights and Quinn would set their alarm clocks. Over a semester they had developed a routine and had it down to an art.

Instead Quinn started to pull off her top while Rachel stared. Rachel flushed and turned away. She noisily fumbled through her dresser while Quinn finished changing. Quinn was going to ask if Rachel needed the bathroom first, but stopped short watching Rachel undress before her. She blushed and quickly turned around knocking her knee into her desk and swearing loudly. Rachel whirled around quickly and nearly lost her balance in the process of pulling up her shorts. Quinn limped to the bathroom and seconds later Rachel followed. They awkwardly passed toothpaste back and forth before trying to figure out where they would both stand in the small bathroom. Rachel stood close to the sink with Quinn peering into the mirror from behind her. Their eyes met in the mirror and both blushed. They attempted to spit at the same time. Rachel coughed instead and swallowed half of her toothpaste while Quinn managed to rinse her mouth. At the door to the bathroom they both paused. Quinn held the door open for Rachel to pass. Rachel waited and then gestured to the toilet with her eyes. They both blushed before Quinn nodded and left.

When Rachel came out of the bathroom moments later, Quinn was already curled up in her bed with her back facing Rachel. The brunette hit the lights.

"Alarm clock?" Rachel asked meekly.

"I set mine. I don't know your class schedule for this semester so I left yours for you," Quinn replied.

"Thanks."

Rachel set her own alarm and crawled into her bed.

"Good night, Quinn."

The blonde didn't respond. Rachel hoped that maybe Quinn had magically just fallen asleep already but she knew that most likely wasn't the case.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

By Thursday, the tension between Rachel and Quinn became so painfully obvious for all of their friends. Lunches were awkward. Conversation was stilted. The girls were rarely in the same room at the same time. Quinn seemed to be avoiding her own room, always latching on to Santana or Brittany or Sam. Santana was tired of her alone time with her dancer constantly being interrupted. They had been back to school for four days and she had only gotten laid three times. She and Brittany were supposed to be humping like rabbits, but no, Quinn was always there. She felt bad kicking the blonde out but she desperately wanted to get laid the previous night. Quinn had mumbled something about going to see Sam, which sent Santana's head spinning. Why wasn't Quinn a slobbering mess over Berry? Shouldn't those two be all over each other by now?

Rachel had been parading around with Finn and Puck. Suddenly she and Finn were besties again. Quinn had been clinging to Santana and Brittany while Rachel played Three Musketeers. Rachel constantly hanging with her 'bros' was cutting into Santana hanging with her girlfriend. She was tired of being interrupted. She was tired of watching her two best friends act like assholes for the past four days.

Santana was pissed, not even her sexytimes with Brittany the night before had cheered her up. So when Santana Lopez is pissed and sex doesn't even cheer her up, she lashes out. That's exactly what she sent off to do when she trailed Quinn down. The blonde had just left the library when Santana spotted her across the lawn.

"Quinn Fabray, hold your ass up!" Santana shrieked.

Several students stared as the Latina streaked across the lawn. Quinn's eyes widened noticing the angry purpose with which the other girl strode.

"Great," Quinn muttered.

"What's going on with you and Short Stack?" Santana asked grabbing Quinn's arm and forcing her down on a bench.

"What do you mean?" Quinn threw back, plopping down on the bench and ripping her arm from the other girl's grasp.

"Don't play stupid with me, Fabray. Last time I checked you and Manhands were all over each other, or at least eye sexing each other every second you got. I was just starting to get used to the permanent blush on both your cheeks. Now you barely speak and you're always interrupting my sexytimes. What the hell happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious, S. Nothing happened. We kissed on New Year's. We started getting a little too flirty and then nothing happened. We're friends and that's it. She's my best friend," Quinn answered as if she had been rehearsing what to say for whatever the Latina would inevitably question her.

Santana raised her eyebrow and studied Quinn for a moment. The blonde was very tense but clearly trying to pretend nothing was wrong. Quinn refused to look at her and watched the other students walking by quickly to all their classes. Santana decided this problem was bigger than she thought. She would be skipping her pottery class today. It was only the second class of the semester but who cares.

"Yeah well she's not acting like much of a best friend," Santana challenged.

"Rachel just has a lot on her plate this semester," Quinn defended immediately.

"Right…so I was thinking we should go out."

"What?" the blonde cocked her brow and crossed her arms clearly stating she wasn't amused.

"You and me, Q. We're going out Friday night. I've got this friend, Jennifer. You have to meet her. She's a blast," Santana smirked.

"You're not setting me up, S."

"Who said anything about setting you up? If Berry has too much on her plate to hang and be a friend, then she obviously has too much on her plate to go out this weekend. But you and I have some free time. B has this stupid dance rehearsal thing like all night Friday so I'll be bored. Jennifer is a good friend of mine who is recently single and I know she's looking for any excuse to go out and have a good time. Three people means we're approachable without everyone thinking you're into me or trying to date me or whatever," Santana winked.

"Right and this isn't part of your plan from New Year's?" Quinn challenged back.

"What plan?"

"Now who's playing dumb? Listen up, Lopez, and listen good. I'm not going to use some poor girl to make Rachel jealous. Why can't you accept that we're just friends? Maybe Rachel and I aren't meant to be that couple you go on lesbo double dates with. Maybe we care about each other, love each other even, but know that we're better off as friends, best friends," Quinn pressed.

"Maybe, I can't and won't accept that because it's complete bullshit, Quinn. Maybe I think you're both being stupid and I'm trying to get you to pull your heads out of your asses. Maybe I think you are meant to be that couple," Santana argued.

"I'm not going to fight with you about this, Santana. Rachel and I are best friends and nothing more," Quinn stated firmly.

Quinn thought that was the end of the conversation and started to get up. She was going to miss her next class if the Latina wouldn't drop it.

"Fine. Prove it," Santana stated simply.

Quinn sighed and sat her ass back down. Looked like she would be missing her next class.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I want you to prove it. If you guys are just friends then you can go out with me this weekend. You can meet my friend Jennifer. You can flirt with her. You can talk to her. You can see if she's even your type. Maybe she's not. But if you and Berry are really just friends then you have nothing to lose. It's a fun night on the town with great company. If Smurfette is really and truly just your best friend then she won't get jealous anyway and my stupid little plan goes to hell because I was wrong and you two are just best friends. So prove it, Fabray," Santana dared.

"You want me to prove it? Fine! I'll prove it! Just because I can't wait to see this blow up in your face. I can't wait to watch you eat your words, Lopez. You're so wrong about all of this."

"You'll see, Q. I'm totally right. I'm Santana Lopez. I'm always right. Little Midget wants in your pants so freaking bad. She just needs a little push and you'll be humping like rabbits," Santana teased.

"Would you just stop, Santana? Please just shut up!" Quinn practically begged, on the verge of breaking down.

"Come on, Q. Give it up. You know I'm right. Then when you two are shacking up all the time and you're too busy screwing to hang out with me, just remember who to thank and take a break from your marathon sex to say hello to your BFF Santana," the Latina laughed.

"Just shut the hell up! Rachel doesn't want me! She wants to be friends. In fact, she'd probably thank you herself for forcing me to move on and quit moping around like a kicked puppy," Quinn ranted.

"Wait what?

"Rachel didn't want to fucking be with me! Okay! She's not into me like that! She wants to be friends! She pulled away from me. Why are you needling me about this? I wanted it. I wanted the stupid lesbian double dates. I thought you were right! I found out we were both wrong! So if I go on this stupid set up with you, will you please just leave me the fuck alone?" Quinn shouted as tears sprang to her eyes.

Santana looked shocked. She quickly darted her eyes around to see if anybody else had noticed her friend's outburst. If she thought Quinn was going to have a public meltdown, she would've dragged her sorry ass to one of their dorm rooms first. She wanted to end the weirdness and get her sexytimes back. She didn't want to publicly embarrass the girl.

"Jesus, Q. I didn't know," Santana hushed.

"Yeah well nobody did. We thought we might try it, ya know. Give it a go and keep it to ourselves, see what happens. Turns out we didn't even need to give it a shot. Rachel had a week away from me and that was enough for her to see that it wouldn't work. Meanwhile, I spent the last week of winter break fantasizing about how great my first date with Rachel would be as soon as we got back to school," Quinn explained.

"Shit, Q. I'm so sorry."

"Everybody's sorry…but that's just life, right? Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. I guess I lost…but hey, at least I still get to keep my best friend."

"Who barely even speaks to you. What the hell is she thinking? And parading around like she and Finn are magically best friends this week. What is that about? Joining the bros' club and leaving you in the dust? I should kick that hairy little cretin's ass!" Santana growled.

"No! Don't- don't do that, S. Please. It's not her fault. She doesn't want to screw up our friendship. I pushed in the first place. It's all on me. I wanted so badly to be with her and she wanted to take things slow and I kept pushing. I got so excited and worked up our date into this huge thing in my head. Hell, I even told her I love her. I just…she wanted out before the damage would be irreversible. It sucks but I understand," Quinn muttered weakly.

"Well I'm glad somebody understands because I sure as hell don't."

"Don't do that okay? You don't have to go all Rambo on Rachel's ass or whatever. She's your friend, too, and I'm sure this isn't easy for her."

"Damn, Quinn. You've really got it bad. Defending the girl who's breaking your heart…and yeah, she's my friend, kinda whatever, too but that doesn't mean I can't kick her ass when she's clearly wrong. In fact, as her friend, it's my job to stop her from making stupid mistakes and tell her to correct them when she clearly has," Santana growled.

"Please don't say anything to her. She doesn't deserve that."

"You're right. She deserves a hell of a lot worse than a Santana Lopez verbal smackdown. She deserves a physical smackdown and getting chewed out."

"S, just let it go. Please. Promise me you won't say anything to her. It's a complicated situation and she's trying to keep our friendship. I mean look how this is tearing everybody up now. Imagine if we had actually dated and broke up. She's probably right about all of this," Quinn pleaded.

"That's crap, Quinn. That's a cop out if I've ever heard one and I don't believe you mean a word of it…but fine. I promise I won't chew her out or rip her a new asshole or whatever…even though she clearly deserves it…but since you think for whatever reason that she's totally innocent in all of this, I won't rip her head off about this…for you. I won't say anything for your sake," Santana conceded.

"Thank you."

"But if she says anything to me about it, it's fair game. If she brings it up at all then I get to say whatever the hell I want," Santana countered.

"S," Quinn sighed.

"I'm serious. I won't start anything with her, but if she brings it up for whatever reason then I get to tell her how it is. I won't hold back just to protect her fragile little hobbity heart just because you think this might be hard on her. I hope it is! I hope the little gremlin loses sleep and can't eat and all of that pathetic lovesick shit."

"Fine. If Rachel brings it up, don't withhold your opinions for my sake. Just remember that she is your friend and you could take it a little easy on her."

"I am taking it easy on her. I'm not physically smacking the Jew right out of her. That's me taking it easy," Santana sniffed.

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"You're my girl, Q. I got your back on this. Frodo is kinda my girl too or whatever…but if she's wrong, which she is, I'm not backing her sorry ass up on this shit."

"Fine. Do whatever you want…but if you physically lay a hand on her, I will come after you," Quinn threatened.

"Yeah, I'd love to see you try. It's cute that you're like a mama bird with its feathers all ruffled when it comes to your little baby birdie, but just remember who wronged you and who is trying to make it right. The attack dog act is getting old, Fabray. I get that you love the girl but I'm looking out for you right now," Santana smirked.

Quinn sighed and shook her head.

"Glad we've got that covered," Santana laughed.

"I didn't say anything."

"The sigh said it all. You know I'm right. She's treating you like crap and I'm not gonna sit back and just let that happen. Berry's gotten the short end of the stick quite a bit in life but that's not excuse for being a jackass, which she's being. It's up to Mama Lopez to make the world right again."

"Mama Lopez?"

"Shut up, Queerio. I can call myself whatever I want when I'm fixing your shit. Trust me, you'll wanna call me Goddess Lopez once I'm done. I'm gonna turn this all around. Just wait. I know what I'm doing."

"I'm glad somebody does," Quinn muttered.

"And quit being so damn depressed all the time. I wouldn't want to hang with you either if I saw you moping around every second. You're boring me and you look pathetic. Act like you're having fun. Remind her of the amazing girl you are and how much fun you are. Give her a reason to regret her decision. Remind her why she wanted to be with you in the first place. Take a fucking shower. Go out with me and Jenny. Prove to her that you're a damn fine piece of ass and that she should be lucky to put her grubby little manish hands on you. Nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Why do you think I avoided Berry so long? Cuz she sucks and she's kinda lame. But at least with you, she's less of a loser and almost fun. So stop being a loser, Q. Be the kind of person everybody wants to hang with. Even if your heart hurts inside, smile on the outside, and make her see what she's missing."

"I said I'd go. Do your worst, Lopez. Sorry I meant go ahead and right my world, Mama Lopez," Quinn teased.

"You laugh now but you're gonna be tripping all over yourself trying to find ways to thank me soon enough."

"I'm sure."

"Sarcasm makes you sound stupid, Q. Only person of a certain attitude and ethnic background like me can truly pull it off. You just look constipated."

"Shut up," Quinn narrowed her eyes.

"You shut up," Santana laughed.

"You're such a bitch," Quinn chuckled.

"I'm the best bitch you've got. You're lucky to have me."

"Whatever."

"Great comeback. Did you think that one up all by yourself or did you learn it from your teeny, tiny, hair, little roommate?" Santana winked.

"I hate you."

"No you don't, but doesn't it feel good to get some of that anger out."

"You're annoying," Quinn glared.

"Just stop, Q. Stop before I think you want me. I remember how you and Berry started. All fighting and sexual tension. Let's face it everybody wants a piece of the hottest Latina from Lima Heights, but I'm taken," Santana grinned.

Quinn started cracking up and shook her head, "You're an idiot."

"But you know you love me."

"Not even a little bit," Quinn teased.

"You have to admit though, I bet you feel a lot better now."

Quinn sobered up slightly and smiled, "I do feel somewhat better. Thanks, S."

"Yeah whatever. I'm just waiting until I prove you wrong and then you'll owe me. I can't wait to make you my bitch for a while."

"Why does that sound far more sexual coming from you than from anyone else?"

"It's a gift," Santana laughed.

"And I never said I'd be your bitch," Quinn said getting up and shouldering her bag.

"True, you didn't yet. But you're gonna owe me so big you'll have to pay me back somehow…and that's when I'll make you my personal slave for a week."

Santana started walking with Quinn toward the blonde's next class. She was ten minutes late but she could sneak in the back and catch most of the lecture.

"Isn't that what Britt is for?" Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Sexually yes. But ya know, sometimes you'd be surprised who the real dominating force in the bedroom is. It's the quiet, limber ones you have to look out for," Santana smirked.

"That's disgusting. Far more information than I ever needed."

"Don't' be jealous. I'm sure Berry is a freak in the sack too. But that's far more information than I will ever need to know. Besides, you're just gonna do my laundry and clean my room, maybe write a paper for me or something. My sexual needs are more than satisfied."

"Okay. No more. I can't handle this. You both are my friends and I don't need any mental images."

"Maybe you're the real freak, not Berry. Picturing it, Q?"

"Stop. I can't. Just…no," Quinn whined.

"Alright. I'll give you a break…and you're welcome. You're my girl, Fabray. We former high school bitches have to stick together. It's how we get shit done."

"Right. Bitches get shit done," Quinn chuckled.

"Damn right we do!"

Santana wrapped Quinn up in a one-armed hug and then kicked her butt as she pushed the blonde to the door of the psychology building. Quinn turned around and stuck her tongue out at the Latina who in turned flipped her middle finger up. Quinn rolled her eyes and turned down the hall to her lecture room. Santana smirked to herself knowing that Quinn was smiling for the first time since Sunday night.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

The next night, Rachel sat in her room writing in her songbook. Her newest composition class was a killer. It was the end of the first week and they were already expected to bring in a new song the following Monday. Rachel knew she had tons of songs in the book that she had given to Quinn, but since then she'd had trouble writing anything. Even now it seemed that the only words she had were about heartache and making mistakes and missing the one you love. All her melodies seemed the same. They were all songs she had written before. How was she supposed to write a ballad for her class when her heart wasn't into it?

Quinn breezed into the room with an excited air. Rachel immediately looked up. The blonde looked nervous and yet happy for the first time all week. Rachel swallowed hard and willed her tears back. She knew Quinn was going out that night. Santana had gleefully shoved it in Rachel's face all morning.

There was no way Quinn was over her already, right? Not to say it was easier to watch Quinn mope about, because truthfully that tore her up. But at least when they were both miserable, Rachel knew what they had was real, no matter how brief. At least then she could convince herself that she made the right choice because Quinn loved her and would've given up everything for her. She had sacrificed them for Quinn's future. But if Quinn was over her already then maybe the blonde hadn't really loved her and Rachel made herself miserable over nothing. It was twisted logic, sure, but it was hard to think straight when the only girl worth pining over seemed to have abruptly moved on.

"Going out?" Rachel asked, seeming to sink inside herself with the question.

Quinn paused at the door.

"Oh hey, Rach. I didn't even realize you were here," Quinn wheezed putting her hand to her heart in surprise.

"I didn't me to startle you."

"It's fine. I just…yes, S and I are going out tonight. What about- do you have plans?" Quinn asked.

This was supposed to be their first date. They were supposed to have dinner and go to a movie and then Rachel would ask Quinn to be her official girlfriend. Then they'd come back to their room and fall asleep cuddled together after hours of sweet lady kisses.

Instead, Quinn was going out with Santana and some girl. Can't forget the fact that some girl was going out with Quinn on the night that was supposed to be her and Rachel's night. The brunette growled internally. Quinn would be going out with some other girl on their date night while Rachel…while Rachel did what exactly? Sat at home alone, in their room, trying to write some stupid ballad about some endless love that topped all other songs she'd ever written.

"I have homework," Rachel muttered miserably and gestured to her notebook.

"Oh that sucks. Well, look at you being all studious after the first week," Quinn faked a laugh that tore through Rachel's heart.

"So you and Santana, night on the town?" Rachel asked, bitterly.

"Well B has a dance rehearsal thing till 11 and S really wanted to go out. I had no other plans so…"Quinn trailed off as their other plans settled over both of them again.

Rachel nodded and bit her lip to keep the sob in her throat from tearing free.

"Plus S has this friend Jenny who desperately needed a night out or whatever. I guess the girl got dumped," Quinn added, the double meaning not lost on either one of them.

"I hope she'll be okay," Rachel replied.

"That's what tonight's for. S really wants to put Jenny back on her feet. Get her back out there. She thinks Jenny needs to start dating again."

"Good for her."

"Yeah…good for her," Quinn nodded as the awkward silence settled between them again.

They stared at each other for a moment. Quinn's eyes pleaded with Rachel to ask her to stay, to beg for forgiveness, to put them back together again. Rachel's eyes seemed to beg Quinn to ask Rachel to come with them, to ask her to go to dinner, to make her forget everything except each other. Rachel was the first to look away when it became too much. Her eyes welled with tears as she stared at the notebook in her lap.

Quinn cleared her throat then responded, "I guess I should get ready then. Good luck with your homework."

Rachel couldn't speak around the giant lump in her throat. She nodded meekly but couldn't lift her eyes to meet the blonde's. She couldn't let Quinn know how close to breaking down she was.

Quinn watched the other girl for a second. Rachel wouldn't even look at her. Quinn's heart sank. She nodded to herself then crossed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for her night out.

An hour later, Quinn was ready. She stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed with her hair twisted up, her makeup done, and looking like a goddess. Rachel's mouth went dry at the sight. Quinn looked gorgeous. She was going to get hit on by men and women alike tonight. She would have her pick of anyone she wanted. Rachel knew that and Rachel hated it. Her chest ached as she watched the blonde slip on her heels. Quinn should be dressed up to go on their date. They should be dressed up together. They should be together. Rachel's heart screamed at her.

Get up. Cross the room. Grab the girl. Pin her to wall. Make love to her mouth. Tell her you love her. Throw her on the bed. Then make love to all of her. Show her that she belongs to you. She's yours, Rachel. Make her yours!

Instead, the brunette tore her eyes away from the blonde again and resumed scribbling nonsense and doodling in her songbook.

"I guess I'll see you later," Quinn mumbled from the door.

"Have fun," Rachel called weakly.

They both knew she didn't mean it. She didn't want Quinn to have fun without her. Quinn didn't even want to have fun without her. Quinn stalled at the door. She traced her eyes over her studious little brunette. She nodded to herself and with a sigh she left.

Santana bumped her shoulder into Quinn's playfully. The blonde smiled back half heartedly. Santana sighed and resorted to bobbing her head along with the music. Jenny was off on the dance floor. That bubble brunette would not be tamed. From the second she and Quinn met, Jenny's mouth was off and running. The girl would not shut up. She knew something about everything. There was no topic too boring or too risqué or anything that the girl couldn't or wouldn't talk about…and it all came rushing out quickly. Quinn thought Rachel had the uncanny ability to spout large amounts of information very quickly without taking a breath. Jenny was Rachel Berry on speed.

Santana nudged Quinn again and rolled her eyes. The blonde smiled lightly.

"You're not having fun," Santana smirked.

"Neither are you," Quinn laughed.

"I figure Jenny's having enough fun for all of us."

"I thought Rachel talked to much but this girl…" Quinn trailed off.

"She's not normally like that. I think she was just nervous or something. I mean she's certainly a talker…I figured that was your type," Santana teased.

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"She's on the rebound, Q. Cut the girl some slack. She's been in three of my classes and she's super smart. Let's me copy of her and everything," Santana continued.

"Oh wow. I wondered how you passed all of those physics and psychology classes."

"Funny stuff, Fabray. But for real, Jenny's cool she's just…" Santana paused as they both watched the girl in discussion.

Jenny was bouncing on the dance floor with the special enthusiasm reserved only for the heavily intoxicated. She shook her hair out and wiggled her hips to a beat that differed from the actual song playing. She let out a loud 'woot woot' and threw her hands up in the air with gusto. Quinn started cracking up immediately.

"She's just really shitfaced," Santana finished with a bellowing laugh.

The two best friends chuckled watching the other girl in amusement. Jenny had no inhibitions. She was working it on the dance floor. The men and women around her were either equally as amused as Santana and Quinn so were encouraging her behavior or they were just as drunk as Jenny. It was an entertaining site to behold and Quinn laughed until her stomach hurt. Santana had been right: the blonde had needed this.

"Stop laughing. Stop laughing. Stop laughing," Quinn chanted to Santana, smacking the Latina on her arm as Jenny stumbled her way to the pair.

Santana didn't even try to hide her amusement as the brunette flung herself at the pair.

"I just love you guys," Jenny slurred. "You guys are the best."

"This is too much," Santana giggled.

"Shut up," Quinn glared at the Latina.

"I love you so much," Jenny gushed.

She wrapped her arm around Santana firmly and pecked her on the cheek, "You are adorable. You are too nice to me. Lauren is a stupid jackass but you make me feel so much better. I'm a hot piece of ass, Santana Lopez! I am sexy!" Jenny roared, nearly knocking Santana off her stool as she fell into her.

"That you are, Jenn," Santana smirked.

"And you take me out and tell me to feel better. And guess what? I feel better! I feel so much better because you are my friend! Where's Brittany?" Jenny asked suddenly as if just realizing the blonde dancer wasn't there.

"At dance, J. She's been there all night," Santana laughed.

Quinn tried to hide her laughter behind her hand that covered her mouth. The mirth in her eyes gave her away to anyone who wasn't as wasted as Jenny.

"I love Brittany. She's so nice. She told me, she said Jenny- she said Jenny- Jenny you are too nice to be sad all the time. She was right. Then she said- Jenny- Jenn-nay! You should make Santana take you out. My girlfriend, not my girlfriend though, I'm talking as Brittany right now- my girlfriend will make sure you have fun. That's what she said. That's exactly what Brittany said in our dance class. She was right. Brittany is so smart," Jenny rambled.

"My girl's a keeper," Santana grinned.

"She is. I just love her. And I love you. And you can copy my notes any time . Seriously if you don't want to come to class because you and Brittany want to have sex, just text me. I'll take great notes. I just love you guys."

Quinn couldn't hold it in any longer and laughed loudly while Santana smirked proudly.

"And Quinn!" Jenny squealed, just realizing the blonde was behind her.

Jenny launched herself at Quinn, knocking into the blonde who didn't fall off her stool only because she had been prepared since the brunette attacked Santana.

"Beautiful, gorgeous Quinn. I would love to love you," Jenny beamed and ran her finger in Quinn's hair.

The blonde pushed Jenny back slightly and grabbed the hand from her hair.

"Thanks, Jenn."

"I think you're just so pretty and nice. Santana is my best friend tonight but you can be best friend number two," Jenny squealed.

"Great," Quinn deadpanned, leaving Santana in stitches.

"Lauren was a stupid girl that I dated. You are so much prettier than her. Why did I date her?"

"I don't know, Jenn," Quinn placated.

"I don't know. Stupid girls sometimes. We are so stupid. But you're not stupid. You're so pretty. I love looking at you. And you're so nice. So soft," Jenny was petting Quinn's shoulder.

Santana wiggled her eyebrows at Quinn behind Jenny's back before losing herself in a fit of giggles. Quinn glared at the Latina.

"Thanks. You're pretty too," Quinn replied in the voice reserved for speaking to children and very drunk people.

"I could lick you all over," Jenny husked.

Quinn's eyes widened and Santana fell off her stool with laugher.

"I want to do bad things to you, Quinn," Jenny murmured, leaning her head on Quinn's shoulder.

"Okay. I think somebody's had more than enough to drink tonight," Quinn announced. "And I think it's time for me to go home."

"Did I do it wrong?" Jenny pouted to Santana.

"Oh sweetheart, we need to get you home. You're gonna physically feel like hell tomorrow and if you remember any of this you're gonna also feel like an ass," Santana chuckled, wrapping an arm around the girl and pulling her away from Quinn.

Quinn glared at Santana again who merely laughed in response.

The girls had taken Jenny all the way to her dorm room and even plopped her into bed. She had muttered a few more slightly inappropriate remarks to Quinn who flushed every time and looked incredibly uncomfortable before glaring at Santana who cracked up with each remark.

"I hate you," Quinn mumbled as she and Santana returned to their dorm.

"You have to admit you had fun," Santana laughed.

"Which part of that was fun? Getting hit on by creepy men? Getting hit on by creepy women? Or having your friend make lewd comments at the end of the night?" Quinn fumed, trying to unlock her door.

Rachel's head snapped up immediately and locked on the door. She could hear their every word.

"Listen, Jenny just had too much to drink and I was having way too much fun watching you squirm. She's harmless. She was pretty torn up over Lauren and is looking for a rebound. You're hot, Q. People will hit on you. Besides, you have to admit, she's cute. She's a very sweet, very pretty girl who is interested in you. I know she'll feel like an ass tomorrow after she realizes how she acted tonight. She'll probably call you and apologize. I'm not saying you should jump into the sack with her, but coffee wouldn't hurt. Just get to know her. She won't try to jump your bones when she's sober….and even you have to admit you had fun tonight. She made you laugh. We both had fun. Admit it," Santana grinned, poking Quinn.

Quinn managed to get the door unlocked and Santana marched right in behind her.

"Fine, I admit it. I had fun, but I'm not interested in hooking up with Jenny," Quinn stated before turning to greet her roommate. "Hey, Rach."

"Good night?" Rachel asked.

"Q, here got hit on by everyone in a fifty foot radius. My girl Jenny got way shitfaced and was hilarious. All in all, I'd say we did pretty well," Santana answered, smirking at the look on Rachel's face.

"It was okay," Quinn corrected.

The Latina stuck her tongue out at Quinn who reached to grab it.

"Don't stick it out if you don't plan on using it," Quinn grinned.

"Feisty! Me likey! But somehow I think my girl might get pissed," Santana smirked.

"Unless she joins," Quinn laughed.

"Touche! I'll ask her at brunch!"

The two giggled while Rachel bristled.

"And as I was saying before, maybe you don't have to hook up with Jenny. You're not exactly the casual hookup kind of girl, Q…and neither is Jenn. Just coffee. That's all I'm saying. Maybe you won't want to date her or hook up with her, but at least you'll have a new friend. Give it some thought. Don't let tonight be your deciding factor about her," Santana explained, clearly aware that Rachel was fuming with every word.

Rachel pretended not to listen or not to care, but she could feel her body tightening as Santana yammered on about this stupid Jenny girl. She clenched her fist as Quinn shrugged and sighed. Rachel cleared her throat angrily.

"And how was your night, Frodo?" Santana reveled in pissing Rachel off.

"I don't appreciate that nickname," Rachel grunted.

"Whatev. What did you do all night? Sit here and pout?" Santana chuckled heartily.

Quinn shot her the millionth glare of the night.

"I was working on my song writing, if you must know," Rachel replied.

"Song writing? Yeah? How's that going for ya? Been inspired with almighty love songs lately? Got a lot of feelings just bubbling beneath the surface of that tiny midget body?" Santana mocked.

"I don't know what your problem is, perhaps you're an angry drunk tonight, but some of us are tired right now and some of us would prefer to go to bed, because some of us actually live here," Rachel retorted.

"Touchy. I'll be going now."

"S," Quinn pleaded.

"Have fun with your hobbit. Don't let her rain on your parade. We had fun tonight. It's not our fault she wanted to sit at home like a loser," Santana sang as she walked to door.

"You promised you wouldn't say anything to her," Quinn whispered to the Latina.

Santana just raised her eyebrow in response and left.

"I suppose I deserve that from her," Rachel muttered as Quinn settled down on her own bed.

"You don't have to take any of S's crap. She just gets a little…well you know…we drank a little. Some people get touchy feely…some people become Santana," Quinn offered.

"You're not drunk."

"I guess I just didn't feel like drinking that much," Quinn shrugged.

"Right," Rachel nodded. "So this Jenny…"

Rachel didn't want to ask but the words spilled out anyway. Quinn stared at her incredulously. Then the blonde shook her head.

"Sleep?" Quinn asked.

"Right. Sleep would be good," Rachel responded quickly and shut off the light on her side of the room.

Quinn watched for a moment. Rachel had turned her back to Quinn. It was clear from her shaking shoulders that she was trying very hard not to cry. Quinn's heart sank. God, why did she love this girl so much? Rachel had hurt her…but she was still her best friend…and Quinn was still very much in love with her. A week from Hell hadn't changed that.

Rachel tried to take steady breaths and pretend she was asleep. Jenny had obviously hit on Quinn and while the blonde had said she didn't like it before she entered the room, Rachel couldn't help wondering if a small part of Quinn did enjoy the attention. What if Quinn found someone else?

Quinn sighed and got out of her bed. She went to the bathroom, changed her clothes, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. When she re-entered the room, Rachel still had her back turned to Quinn, but the blonde knew she wasn't sleeping. Quinn tiptoed carefully across the carpet. She lifted the covers. Rachel squeaked in response and then Quinn slid in…right behind Rachel in the brunette's bed. Rachel took a deep breath and then grabbed Quinn's hand to wrap the blonde's arm around her. They snuggled in tightly. Quinn pulled Rachel flushed up against her, cocooning the smaller girl in her embrace. Rachel laced their fingers together and Quinn melted. How could something that felt so right hurt them both so much?

"I'm sorry," Rachel whispered into the darkness.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

The next two weeks had been hell. Rachel and Quinn tried to pretend that things were normal. They didn't share a bed again after that night. Santana continuously gave Rachel the cold shoulder anytime the group hung out together. Brittany was her usual cheerful self always providing a funny story or a witty remark that seemed to come out of nowhere. Santana had convinced the dancer to get on board with her plan to put Quinn and Jenny together. Brittany had been hesitant but she and Jenny were already friends so it was hard to tell her girlfriend that the newest addition to their group shouldn't come over for movie nights or eat with them in the cafeteria.

Santana had been right. The morning after their first night out, Jenny had called Quinn and rambled on for almost ten minutes straight with nothing but apologies and her complete and utter embarrassment. Quinn had laughed and taken pity on the girl. They met for coffee two days later and Quinn had been pleasantly surprised to find that Jenny was actually very nice and not a slut when sober. She assured Santana time and again that she wasn't interested in Jenny in a romantic sense but she did enjoy the other girl's company…plus her incessant ramblings reminded the blonde of another brunette with a big mouth. It was a double edged swords of sorts, hanging with Jenny took her out of her room and the awkward silences shared with Rachel but at the same time kept her constantly thinking of the smaller girl and wondering what she was doing in their room filled with awkward silence.

Another addition to their group had been the return of Finn Hudson. He and Puck were boys again. They were constantly talking about sports and food and of course, girls. Puck seemed thrilled to have his best friend back, but Quinn couldn't get used to the giant boy's presence. She hated the way Rachel seemed to light up around both boys. She also hated the clear divide that had appeared.

Quinn, Santana, and Jenny always sat at one end of their table, engaged in their own conversations. While Finn, Puck and Rachel sat at the other end. Some days Quinn found herself watching the brunette. Watching the way the girl laughed at some stupid joke either boy said, but noticed how it never truly reached her eyes. She watched Rachel casually put her hand on either boy's arm or shoulder and felt her blood boil. It was supposed to be her shoulder that Rachel was touching. She watched how the brunette pretended to be interested in sports. She listened to their conversations and marveled at the way the tiny girl was so persistent in her argument to make the boys eat better food. She only participated in her own conversations when Santana or Jenny made it a point to include Quinn. Then she would laugh a little too hard and a little too forced to make sure Rachel knew she was fine without her.

Rachel, on the other hand, had been grateful for the distraction provided by Finn's return. Finn was loud and boisterous. He was always trying to make sure Rachel was laughing or included in their conversations, even going as far as to explain football to her again for the millionth time when he and Puck had ranted about the playoffs. However, Rachel couldn't keep her attention on either boy for long. Sure it was nice that they tried to include her in bro time, especially since Santana had all but pushed her out of girl time. The Latina was constantly sending her glares and insults under her breath. She felt like she had reverted back to high school again with the only difference being she sat with Finn and Puck because they were her friends, not because she was forced to as Finn's girlfriend.

Rachel watched Quinn every day. She watched the blonde caress Jenny's arm or hug Santana just a little too long. Rachel hated every second of it. Quinn should be touching her arm, hugging her, loving her. Quinn laughed and joked with the girls. She always seemed to be fine. She was having a great time. Plus it's not like Rachel hadn't noticed Jenny's not-so-subtle way of always flirting with Quinn. It was driving her up the way. Quinn had said she wasn't interested in Jenny so many times but it seemed like the brunette was determined to wear her down. Rachel hated her. She didn't care if Brittany assured Rachel that Jenny was a really nice girl who wasn't after Quinn. She knew what she saw and she saw a slut throwing herself at her Quinn.

Brittany was on the fence. Some days she talked with Finn, Puck, and Rachel. She would tell the boys stories about the girls on her dance team. Both of them wanted Brittany to hook them up with hot dancer chicks (Puck's words). Other days she talked with Santana, Jenny, and Quinn. They would talk about clothes, shopping, classes, TV shows, their weekend plans, and anything else. Talking with the girls was always easier but Rachel would look so sad sometimes that Brittany wished she didn't like the girls more than the days with the boys and Rachel. It was hard to compete though when girl days meant she got to be with Santana. Most days they weren't too affectionate. It was a girls day so it was about girls, not couples. Then a few days, even at lunch, she and Santana got to have their 'couples' days when S didn't care as much about punishing Rachel or helping Quinn. She just wanted to spend time with her girl. Brittany loved those days the best. She loved the days when she got to hold Santana's hand and play with her fingers at the lunch. She liked snuggling up to her girlfriend and kissing her cheek. Those were definitely her favorite days except they seemed to be Quinn and Rachel's worst. Both girls were miserable without the other and it always showed when Santana and Brittany got to act like a couple. Whoever seemed to take the couple day the worst won who Brittany spent the next day with. It was exhausting ping-ponging between all her friends.

"Baby, I know you're getting tired. You've gotta stop this. You're driving yourself crazy. Just let those two have their drama and you stay out of it," Santana sighed.

"I can't. They're both so sad and it makes me sad," Brittany groaned, flopping on her bed.

"Britt, you can't fix them okay. They're gonna be sad. That happens when you break somebody's heart and your own. It's just gonna take some time…don't worry. I'm fixing it," Santana grinned, crawling up the bed to collapse next to the dancer.

"You're not fixing it. You're just being mean to Rachel."

"Being mean to Berry is exactly how I fix things. Trust me."

Brittany groaned again into the pillow this time.

"Britt Britt?"

The dancer just grunted into the pillow again while Santana grinned.

"B?"

Brittany grunted again. Santana tried helplessly not to swoon at her adorable girlfriend.

"Baby?"

Brittany lifted her head and raised one eyebrow at the Latina.

"I'm trying to tell you something important, LadyBug."

"I'm listening Duckie."

"I hate that nickname," Santana groaned while Brittany beamed.

Brittany darted forward quickly and kissed the other girl.

"Do you trust me?" Santana asked after a moment when she finally pulled away from the blonde's lips.

"Mmhmm," Brittany nodded happily.

"Just give me a little more time. Berry's about to crack. I can feel it. I know I'm being a bitch to her, but she's so close to cracking."

"I trust you," Brittany replied, before they resumed kissing and the blonde made the Latina forget all about the other girls' problems for a few hours.

The next few days weren't getting any better for Rachel. Jenny had been hanging out with Quinn far more than the tiny brunette liked. The silences in their room became longer and more pronounced with each day. She and Quinn rarely spoke anymore. In the group, they pressed on trying to pretend things were normal but conversations were stilted. The second they were alone, they had nothing to say. Well, that wasn't exactly correct. They had plenty to say but neither wanted to be the one to start that conversation.

Quinn was in the bathroom getting ready for another night out. Jenny had asked the blonde to accompany her to a dance show that Brittany was in off campus. Rachel had rehearsal and wouldn't be able to attend when Quinn originally suggested she join the two. Santana scored tickets two days prior. The Latina planned on meeting up with the girls after but said she couldn't sit with them during the actual show. She had mumbled something about being too nervous for her girl and needing to be fully devoted to Brittany's performance instead of hearing Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum commentate. Rachel had scoffed thinking it was more like Santana was still trying to set Quinn up with Jenny. She had actually been happy she couldn't attend that night to watch the girls flirt with each other. It was bad enough seeing Quinn sit by Jenny at lunch. She didn't want to see them in a dark theater.

Then, by sheer luck or God's need to torture Rachel, the brunette's rehearsal had been cancelled. Santana had merely smirked when she informed Rachel that the show was sold out so it looked like the 'midget would be stuck with sasquatch and pencil dick for next Tuesday's show'. Rachel hadn't really wanted to go with Finn and Puck but also didn't want to go by herself back when they had all gotten their tickets. Finn had a tutoring session the same night that the rest of their friends were going, Rachel was supposed to be in rehearsal, and Puck had an evening class on Thursdays. It seemed logical at the time for the three of them to go together to support their friend. It also had seemed logical that the other three (Santana, Quinn, and Jenny) would go together. It all seemed so logical two days ago. But now, it seemed like torture while Rachel was sitting in her room watching Quinn get ready to go sit in a dark theatre, alone with Jenny, while Santana abandoned them to suck face or pet each other or any other horrible things Rachel's mind came up with.

"Are you sure you don't want to try to score a ticket at the door?" Quinn's voice came floating in from the bathroom.

Rachel debated mentally for the fifth time that night.

"No. It's okay. I'm sure you girls will have fun. I'll just go with the boys," Rachel sighed.

Quinn poked her head out around the door.

"You sure you don't want to meet us after? We're going for drinks?"

"It's fine. I have work to do anyway," Rachel muttered.

Quinn chewed the inside of her cheek, watching the brunette carefully.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to miss out on all the fun. We're still friends, Rach. Best friends, even," Quinn ventured gently.

Rachel's attention snapped to the blonde. Her eyes widened and she flushed.

"I know that. I mean…we're great, Quinn. Of course we're best friends…I know things have been slightly difficult lately but…that's not why I haven't been…I mean I'm still around even though I haven't been quite as much lately…my composition class is just taking over my life. It's much more challenging than the first semester and…I'm finding myself creatively stumped more often than usual…it's not because…we are best friends. We're fine," Rachel assured weakly.

"I know that we are," Quinn replied, not hiding the lie any better than Rachel had. "I just wanted you to know you're always welcome to join us. I think you and Jenny would really hit it off if you had more than four seconds to talk to each other."

"I'm sure Jenny's just great," Rachel gritted out through her teeth.

"She's a good friend. You'd like her if you gave her half a chance."

"Right."

"Just don't miss out on all of your friends because you're…swamped with school work. I'd hate to see you waste away the entire semester trying to write the world's greatest musical or something," Quinn smiled softly, walking back into their room to slip on her shoes.

"I'm not writing a musical. I'm trying to write something that's not so…" she trailed off.

She didn't need to tell Quinn about the personal assignment her professor gave her to write a song that wasn't 'quite so depressing'. Her professor had taken it upon himself to make Rachel his star pupil, but thought the girl was going through some serious life issues. He was making it his goal to make sure she found the good in life. Sometimes, adults think every teenage college freshman is suicidal. He had the good nature of Rachel's high school glee club advisor but was a little too involved in all of his students' lives. Professor Shuester or "Will" as he let his students call him seemed intent on helping Rachel find the romantic ballad within…that seemed far more creepy and teacher/student porn than how it really was. Mr. Shuester had no romantic or sexual interest in any of his students. Apparently he was happily married but one of those do-gooders who wanted to see all of his students succeed and find true happiness or some bullshit.

"Well either way, I'm sure Brittany would love to see you tonight. It would be nice to hang out…ya know, just all of the girls. Not that I don't love having Puck's company…or I mean, Finn's too I guess," Quinn offered.

"Just the girls…that sounds…"

What could she finish that with? Fun? Complicated? Awkward? Torture? Amazing? It could go in any of those directions. Fun would be Brittany. Complicated would be Quinn. Awkward would definitely be Jenny. Torture would be Santana because the Latina insisted on making Rachel's life miserable any time the complicatedness of Quinn and Rachel settled over the group. Amazing would go back to Quinn again but added on with a double dose of complicated.

"I know, we're not a ridiculous as hanging with the boys. I'm sure that's a great time and Puck's hilarious and Finn's…a giant. But we clean up really nice. We tend to smell better than boys. There will be no discussions of NFL playoffs or sports of any kind. There won't be any videogame strategy meetings. It will be fun. Just a bunch of girls, looking pretty, grabbing a couple of drinks, and dancing the night away at a tiny little bar," Quinn teased.

"It would be nice to have a conversation that didn't revolve around the Zombie apocalypse or Bengals offensive stats," Rachel smiling.

"I mean I can clearly see how riveting that would be. Not to mention topping the thrilling conversation and intellectual debates with the lovely stench of man sweat after they've come in from the gym."

"Totally. That's my favorite part of being one of the guys again: the lovely man stench," Rachel laughed.

It was the closest the girls had been to acting like themselves. It was the first Quinn had actually made Rachel laugh since their…breakup? Can it be called a break up when they hadn't been dating?

"Just think about it," Quinn grinned as she packed up her purse.

"I will," Rachel nodded.

Quinn smiled at her again. It was the first true Quinn Fabray Beaming smile that she had directed toward the brunette in weeks. Rachel wanted to laugh, cry, and scream all at the same time. She also wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around the blonde and never let go. Forget Brittany's show, she would keep Quinn all to herself.

"We're going to if you change your mind," Quinn turned at the door. "Originally S wanted to go to Lola's but apparently Ego is partially sponsoring the dance concert since it's not directly affiliated with the university dance team. Anyways, Ego is offering half priced drinks with your ticket stub and the dancers drink for free so…"

"Makes sense."

"I guess I'll see you if I see you," Quinn said slowly, not quite wanting to leave the room after their first non awkward conversation.

Rachel nodded. Quinn smiled and almost made it out the door before Rachel spoke up.

"Quinn!"

The blonde poked her head back in with a raised eyebrow.

"You beautiful tonight….best friends can say that right?" Rachel asked.

Quinn beamed at her again before replying, " Thanks, Rach…and sure. Why not?"

Then Quinn left leaving Rachel to sigh when the door clicked shut.

"To my girl B, the best dancer in all of Ohio," Santana cheered lifting her shot.

Quinn, Jenny, and Brittany touched their glasses to Santana's before they all tossed their heads back and drank.

"Again," Brittany squealed as the bartender laughed and refilled their shots.

"To my girl B, the best dancer in all of America," Santana toasted.

They all tossed back the shots again.

"Oh God," Jenny coughed.

"Tequila," Santana smirked.

"Again!" Brittany grinned with glassy drunken eyes.

"This has to be the last one," Quinn groaned.

The bartender poured the tequila across each of their glasses. They raised them again while Brittany nodded her head.

"To my girl B, the best dancer in the whole world," Santana grinned.

This time all four coughed and grimaced after the shots.

"No more," Quinn threw up her hands.

"Can't hold your liquor, Fabray," Santana snickered.

"Pssh, we're not all Santana Lopez," Jenny slurred.

"I love shots," Brittany sang and gave a little dance.

Santana flushed, her eyes glued on the dancer's ass.

"Let's go dance, Baby," Santana murmured pulling Brittany off the barstool.

The two made their way to the dance floor where immediately Brittany turned around to grind her ass into Santana's center. Quinn and Jenny obviously couldn't hear the groan from the Latina from where they were seated but knew without a doubt it happened. Santana pulled the blonde around and fused their lips together heatedly.

"I have a feeling they're going to ditch us soon for some sexytimes as Brittany calls it," Jenny laughed.

"Or they'll get kicked out for having sex in the bathroom again," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"They're too much."

"Can't keep their hands off each other," Quinn agreed.

"Must be nice. To be that in love," Jenny commented sullenly.

"You mean to be that in lust. They're drunk and horny. Having sex in a bathroom in a bar isn't love. It's hormones and liquor," Quinn laughed.

"You know that's not what I meant. Anybody can have drunken sex in the bathroom. _**We**_ could have drunken sex in a bathroom."

"But _**we **_won't. Some of us still have morals even if I don't hold my liquor as well as Santana," Quinn smirked.

"Speak for yourself, Fabray. I might find myself a nice piece of ass in here tonight," Jenny giggled.

"And ditch me? You'd leave me all alone to watch S and B rub against each other all night like cats in heat?"

"Well I never said you had to watch them but if you're into that, that's your call," Jenny teased.

"No! No way, just no. Where is the sweet and nice little girl who has lunch with me? You are something else whenever you get a few shots in you," Quinn guffawed.

"I haven't been laid in months," Jenny defended.

"And Q hasn't gotten laid since New Years," Santana sauntered back over to them with Brittany practically wrapped around her.

"New Years? Quinn Fabray! How scandalous!" Jenny laughed.

"I did not get laid on New Years!"

"Yeah right. You can deny it all you want, but everybody in that kitchen the next morning knew you and Berry humped like bunnies all night," Santana leered, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I didn't- we didn't! We didn't go that far," Quinn protested.

"Wait you and Rachel? You hooked up with your roommate? Isn't that like…awkward? You're not still…are you?" Jenny questioned.

"No, we're definitely not," Quinn sighed in frustration.

"But you sooo want to," Jenny grinned. "How did I miss that? Good lord, it's like so obvious now!"

"I don't- we don't…I'm not having this conversation."

"It's okay, Quinn," Brittany cooed, peeling herself away from Santana and wrapping her arms around Quinn in a tight hug.

"I can't believe you've been holding out on me. Here I am, lonely and desperate and you've got your smoking hot roomie to go back to and mack all over," Jenny pouted.

"They're not macking anymore cuz Berry's a dumbass," Santana grunted.

"S, be nice," Brittany warned. "Quinn's never been with a girl. She's allowed to be picky. And J, you're allowed to be slutty. And you should be."

"I should be! I should totally be a slut!" Jenny stated proudly.

"Well I see the answer to all your problems ladies. Q gets to experience lady loving first hand and Jenn gets to get her fingers wet," Santana suggested happily.

"Okay, that is the most disgusting thing you've said to me all night," Quinn glared.

"Jenn's hot. Don't be a bitch, Q," Santana growled.

"I didn't say she wasn't hot," Quinn argued then turned to Jenny. "I totally think you're hot."

"Hey guys," a voice cut in from behind Santana.

"Rachel," Quinn squeaked.

"Well holy shit. The hobbit left her cave," Santana rolled her eyes.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Rachel smiled weakly, her voice wavered slightly.

Quinn blanched, "Oh, no. It wasn't- you just…it's good you're here."

"Rachel," Jenny smiled and threw her arms around the girl. "It's about time we get to have a girls night!"

"Sure," Rachel looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Brittany squealed tacking Rachel and Jenny in a hug.

"Right. Fun," Rachel replied uneasily, locking eyes with Quinn.

"Shots!" Santana ordered.

Quinn and Rachel exchanged glances.

"I'm good," Quinn replied.

Jenny bounced up and down with Brittany while they shook Rachel and tried to make her jump with them.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need a couple of those," Rachel said to Santana.

"Three shots of a tequila for us and give this one two doubles," Santana grinned.

(_AN: I know this is getting all kinds of messed up between all of our girls, but just hang in there! I was going through a dark time and my writing suffered along with me. Also there's time jumps all over these last few chapters.)_


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Rachel loosened up after her shots with the girls and a Jack and Coke. She was slightly buzzed and finally having fun. Brittany had forced her on the dance floor where they started bouncing about happily. Somehow Brittany and Jenny ended up on both side of Rachel, the blonde dancer behind her with her fingers gripping into Rachel's hips. They swayed awkward to the music for a second before Brittany pulled Rachel into her and began grinding. Jenny took the opportunity to back her ass into Rachel's front effectively sandwiching the short brunette. Rachel looked surprised as the two grinded against her. She quickly glanced to Santana and Quinn at the bar. The Latina busted into raucous laughter while Quinn bristled slightly.

"This is two much. Berry's got about as much game as Weird Al. Actually I bet he does better with chicks cuz he's famous. She looks mad awkward," Santana laughed.

"Rachel can be pretty smooth when she wants to be," Quinn stated under her breath.

"You gotta get over this Berry thing. Tonight's the first night we can all hang and if she insists on being stupid then you just gotta move on. She's not worth the heartache, Q."

But Quinn knew she was worth it.

"You need another drink. You're not nearly drunk enough," Santana commented, ordering Quinn a second Vodka Tonic.

"I'm trying not to get too drunk. I'd like to keep my head on tonight. Don't want to say or do something stupid," Quinn rolled her eyes at the clearly wasted Latina.

"Yeah right. All the more reason to get smashed. Get drunk. Make some mistakes. You're only young once!"

"I think I'd prefer to keep a clear head."

"Fuck that. You need to be stupid every now and then. You should hook up with Jenny. You should do it tonight. Show Berry what she's missing," Santana bobbed her head excitedly.

"I don't want Jenny. I'm not going to just hook up with her to make Rachel mad or jealous. We've already been over this, S."

Rachel made her way over to the pair while Brittany and Jenny jumped around on the dance floor. The blonde was twirling while the other brunette was bouncing up and down.

"Hey guys," Rachel smiled, only slightly buzzed.

"Berry, would you please tell Quinn to remove the stick from her ass and have some fun tonight?" Santana smirked.

Rachel floundered for words while Quinn glared at the Latina.

"Fuck you, Lopez," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Clearly I walked right into something," Rachel squeaked.

"Whatever. You need another drink," Santana declared.

"I'm okay. I don't want to get out of control tonight," Rachel replied.

"You both suck."

"Thanks, S," Quinn muttered angrily.

"What? You're gonna get pissy now? This is ridiculous. This is the first night we've all hung out. It's college, bitches. We're supposed to get drunk and hook up with people and then hook up with more people and make plenty of mistakes but have fun doing it. And you two are no fun tonight," Santana ranted.

"I've been having fun. I've been dancing with Brittany and-," Rachel started to defend herself.

"New plan, Berry. First you shut up. Then you take a shot. Then you take another shot and remember how you used to be fun before you and Hudson became BFF's again. And Q, you take a shot. Then take another shot. And then I want you to get your ass out on that dance floor, grind up on some people, enjoy being young and hot cuz at least you're hot which is more than we can say for Manhands over here-," Santana laughed.

"Screw you, Santana," Rachel interjected.

"Hey!" Quinn threw in at the same time.

"And then you're gonna grab my girl J over there and fuck her brains out tonight because you both deserve to get laid," Santana finished.

"What?" Rachel asked softly.

"I don't-," Quinn started pleaded with Rachel with her eyes.

"Just quit being pathetic losers and be fun again. I'm sick of this pouting shit from both of you," Santana spat. "Either fuck each other and get it over with or just get it over with. This is the dumbest shit I've seen in a long time."

Santana stumbled off her barstool and went to grab Brittany. The second she whirled the blonde around she smashed her lips against the other girls. Brittany and Santana started to make out heavily on the dance floor. Jenny laughed and then stumbled over to a silent but fuming Quinn and a dumbfounded Rachel.

"My buddies," Jenny giggled, wrapping an arm around both of them.

"I gotta…bathroom. I'll be back," Quinn grunted, stalking off.

Jenny slid unto Quinn's stool and stared at Rachel for a moment watching the shorter girl follow Quinn with her gaze.

"So you guys hooked up?" Jenny asked.

"No," Rachel answered immediately then faltered. "I guess. I don't know. We- I…I messed it up."

"I like Quinn. She's really pretty and really nice. I'd be with her if she'd let me…just thought you should know. I mean if you're still into her then now would be the right time. Or else I'm totally making my move," Jenny explained.

Rachel stared down at her own hands. Speechless.

"Okay then," Jenny sighed under her breath.

Jenny ordered another drink while they sat in silence. Rachel was lost in her thoughts and didn't see Quinn approach them.

"Don't let S get to you. She's shitfaced," Quinn smiled, nudging Rachel's shoulder gently.

"I think everybody's shitfaced," Jenny giggled after taking a long pull from her drink.

"Sure," Rachel exhaled.

"Totally shitfaced right now," Quinn deadpanned. "Clearly you're wasted, Rachel."

Rachel attempted to smile at Quinn's joke. The blonde was trying to get Rachel involved as Jenny kept striking up random conversations. One second the drunken brunette was talking about Brittany's dance abilities, then it was Survivor, then favorite alcoholic drinks and why college kids love to party, and then she was ranting about frat boys. Rachel remained pretty quiet and rarely engaged in the random topics.

"I mean all they want to do is get girls trashed so they can sleep with them. Like I wouldn't touch a frat boy with a ten-foot stick. They're dirty players. I'm bi so I mean it's not that I'm completely disgusted by some of them. I mean some guys are really fucking hot but I would not hook up with a frat boy…or a chick in a sorority. Although I wouldn't mind a sorority girl as much. I could maybe hook up with a sorority girl. God, I really just need to hook up with somebody," Jenny rambled on.

"Go for it. Find ya a sorority girl," Quinn laughed.

"I think Santana's right. If you and Rachel aren't hooking up, we should totally hook up. Me and you, Quinn…or I mean I'd do you, too, Rachel. You're hot. But Quinn…damn, Quinn," Jenny teased.

"Ok this is gonna really awkward if you don't cut it out. You need to spend less time with Santana," Quinn tried to laugh it off.

Rachel just sighed and sipped quietly on the same drinking she'd been nursing for the past half hour since Jenny approached them.

"What up bitches," Santana laughed as Brittany pulled her over to them.

"You're a mess, Santana," Rachel chuckled.

"And you're a hairy little troll," Santana snipped.

"That's not nice. Stop picking on Rachel all the time," Brittany pouted.

Santana kissed her quickly before turning back to the girls.

"So Q, when are you and Jenn finally going to hook up?" Santana asked, smirking at the glare Rachel and Quinn sent her.

"Just stop it, Santana. This isn't funny so shut the hell up," Quinn ordered.

"Bitchy," the Latina laughed.

"Baby, I think we've had enough for the night. We should go home," Brittany slurred.

"That's a good idea. I'm more than ready to leave," Rachel slid off the barstool.

"Great plan. I'm gonna go get my sweet lady kisses with my sweet lady," Santana pecked Brittany on the mouth again. "And you two, can get your mack on. Fuck her brains out, Jenn. Come on, hobbit, we'll drop you off."

Santana pushed Quinn towards Jenny and grabbed Rachel's arm.

"Santana we're not-," Quinn started.

"Yeah right. You guys were practically all over each other at the dance concert and then eye-fucking each other all the time. Just get it on."

Rachel felt like the breath had been knocked out of her lungs. She looked between Quinn and Jenny with pain etched across her face. Santana grinned smugly.

"Stop it, S," Quinn gritted.

"You always gotta date up, Q."

"You're shitfaced or else I'd smack the hell out of you right now but I doubt you'd even feel it. Get her home, B. I'm leaving. Call me tomorrow when you realize what an ass you've been. I'll be expecting your apology," Quinn snarled and stormed off.

"She's pissed," Jenny muttered.

"Don't be an idiot, Jenn. Go after your girl," Santana rolled her eyes.

"But-,"Jenny started and nodding towards Rachel who looked near tears.

"Baby," Brittany pouted. "I don't like mean, drunk Duckie."

"Go. Make sure Quinn gets home. I'll get these two," Rachel sighed watching Brittany stumble into Santana before they started macking out again.

"She's gonna tear you apart," Jenny warned with something akin to regret and sympathy in her eyes.

"After years of her torture in high school, I think I can handle it," Rachel replied. "Go take care of Quinn. I don't want her to walk home alone."

Jenny nodded and left.

"Let's go you two," Rachel groaned pulling Santana and Brittany apart.

After dragging the two wasted girls out of the bar and to a cab. Rachel stuffed them in the backseat. She paid the driver in front of their dorm. She pulled Brittany up who was passed out on Santana's shoulder. The Latina grumbled something unintelligible.

"You're so gonna feel like shit tomorrow," Rachel breathed.

Santana stumbled behind Rachel and Brittany. The dancer was leaning most of her weight against the tiny girl who struggled but managed to get them to the elevator. Santana followed in behind them. Santana leaned against the back wall of the elevator and opened one eye to look at the other brunette who was hunched even smaller under Brittany's weight. Brittany sniffed Rachel's hair.

"You smell so good, Ray Ray. You should stay with me and S," Brittany growled playfully.

"Hell no. That midget is not joining our sexy times," Santana grunted, dropping her head back against the wall with a thud.

"I doubt you'll be having sexy times tonight," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I'm gonna sleep," Brittany slurred.

"I know you are," Rachel giggled.

The elevator opened and Rachel helped Brittany down the hall to the room. Santana staggered behind them. After unlocking the door and putting Brittany on her bed, Rachel turned around to find Santana staring at her from her spot slouched against the doorway.

"I really liked having all of us. I liked you and Q. Why did you have to mess that up?" Santana asked sadly.

"Maybe I'll explain it to you someday when you're sober," Rachel replied with a weak smile.

Santana shook her head and swallowed thickly.

"You're my girl, Berry. You're a big fucking idiot but you're my girl. I want to get it. I don't understand," Santana blinked back tears.

"You wouldn't remember right now if I told you."

Santana nodded and flopped down on Brittany's bed. Then she turned back up to face Rachel as the smaller brunette walked to the door.

"Berry," Santana called.

Rachel turned around.

"Thanks for helping us. I'm a bitch. I know I'm a bitch," Santana exhaled slowly.

"It's okay," Rachel smiled knowing that was as close to an apology as she'd get from a drunken Santana. "You're forgiven, Santana."

"I'll call Q tomorrow."

"You should do that," Rachel nodded.

"Then can we talk?"

"We'll talk."

By the time Rachel got home, Quinn was already asleep. The brunette slid into her own bed and took a deep breath, choking back the sob that fought to escape. A few more deep breaths and she, too, succumbed to slumber.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

"Quinn told me you apologized to her," Rachel said, taking a seat across from Santana in the small diner.

"I'm always a bitch but I know when I've been a huge asshole," Santana shrugged.

"She's not angry anymore."

"That's good."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"So you gonna tell me what the hell is really going on with you?" Santana asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"You could start by explaining why you dumped my girl's ass," Santana snorted.

"I didn't- I didn't dump Quinn. We were never dating. You can't break up with someone you weren't dating," Rachel replied, flustered.

"Cut the bullshit, Berry. Either tell me what's up or I'm done with this shit. I'm done with you," Santana threatened.

"Okay. Look, I know that Quinn is your friend, but I thought that I was, too. I mean what the hell is your problem?" Rachel growled, suddenly enraged.

"My problem? I don't have a problem but clearly you do. I would just like for you to fill me in. Tell me why you're not with Quinn or back the fuck off so she can move on."

"It's complicated," Rachel sighed.

"Then un-complicate it. Jenn's ready to go. Get your head out of your ass or step aside. Jenny would be good to her. They look good together. They make each other laugh. They would make each other really happy. I bet Jenn would really rock Q's world in the sack, too. Bet she'd make Q's first time with a girl amazing. She'd make Q scream her name all night," Santana smirked.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you saying this to me? Why are you trying to torture me? You know how I feel about Quinn and yet you're trying to get her to date Jenny. You're constantly going on about them hooking up in front of me. Why can't you just stay out of it?"

Why can't you?" Santana challenged. "Why can't you stay out of it? Why can't you let Quinn be happy? Maybe she likes Jenny. Maybe she'd be interested if you'd just let her be."

"Maybe she wouldn't! In fact, I know she's not interested so why are you trying to push her into this? Why are you trying to hurt me?" Rachel spat.

"Look, you're an artistic person. You like analogies and shit. Q, told me about your jeans things and whatever. Real clever. So let me put it to you this way, Short Stack. You and Q are allowed to board several different trains while you're attractive young _**single**_ riders. These are your prime years for commuting. If one train doesn't take you where you want to go, ride another train. If that line still doesn't take you all the way home, find another train. I'm simply encouraging Quinn to try a few different routes. I mean isn't that what you're doing with Finn? Trying something new. Or maybe that's what you were doing with Quinn. Tried something new with her and now trying something old again. You won't back off Q but you're all up in Finn's shit and throwing it in Q's face."

"First and foremost, I am not interested in Finn. We are friends. We are simply trying to regain a friendship that we once had. I have no romantic feelings toward him and I am incredibly offended that you would insinuate that Quinn is just some experimental phase of college by suggesting that I would go back to Finn. I did not go through that torture and ridicule in high school for an experimental phase. I am a lesbian. Plain and simple, I like women. Furthermore, in consistency with your train analogy, maybe I'd prefer to find the quickest and most efficient route instead of constantly rerouting and riding so many trains. Maybe I already found a route that leads directly where I want to go but it's currently under construction for reasons beyond your knowledge. These things take time after all. But it is of note that I'm not interested in Finn and I'm hurt that you continuously push this Jenny girl on Quinn. I thought you were my friend. You know how I feel about Quinn. Yes, technically speaking we weren't dating but you have no idea what happened between us and-,"

"Neither does Q. She has no idea what happened between you. One minute you were cool and the next you turned into a freak. Would you care to explain?"

Rachel didn't respond.

"Didn't think so. And yes, I would consider us friends but until you pull your head out of your ass, I see no reason why Q can't enjoy some free rides on other trains," Santana smirked.

"Because I don't want her to be with anyone else! I want her to be with me! I love her!"

"Did you bother telling her that? No? That's what I thought. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You're both my girls but you're stupid and I'm not going to coerce Q into riding on a dead end train. Go out and find a different ride, Berry. It was fun while it lasted but the track is closed. You said it yourself that line is under construction and it needs some serious repairs. Time to move on and find some other rides."

"Okay you know what…first, I hate your stupid train analogy. I don't think Quinn or I feel comfortable being whores. I don't want to ride a bunch of people just because you think it's best for both of us."

"Trains, Midget. I happen to like my analogy and hearing you talking about riding people, quite frankly, weirds me out. So as I was saying, right now you and Q have unlimited metro cards. If it doesn't cost you to hop on different trains, then why worry about it. Life is short but there's no harm in enjoying the ride. I'll tell you exactly what I told her: explore your options. Have some adventures. Ride some different trains. Sometimes it's better to take the local train with several stops instead of the express train straight to your final destination. Don't rule out the other possibilities. If you're not willing to man up and tell the girl that you love her and you want to be with her, then it's my job as her friend to tell her to find somebody who will. And as your friend, it's my job to say the same to you."

"It's not that simple."

"You're wrong, Rach. It is that simple. As much as you annoy me sometimes, I don't want to see you end up alone and miserable. Everyone with eyes and ears knows you're going to have a great career. You'll be on Broadway before the rest of us even figure out what we actually want to do with our useless degrees. Career wise you're on the express track. I'm just saying, worry less and live more with regards to your personal life. I don't know why things are so complicated for you. Explain it to me. Give me something, Berry. But maybe you should think less about the problems and just enjoy the ride. In the end, I just want you to be happy. I want Q to be happy, too. Do I think Jenny is the express route to happily-ever-after for her? Hell no. But I know she'd be a hell of a ride. And that I meant in the most perverted, sexual way possible, no analogy there."

"I really didn't need that visual. You could've just stuck with the old 'more fish in the sea' cliche. She's a great catch and so on and so forth. Fishing and things like that. I really don't want to picture Quinn riding…_**her**_."

"That's your issue. Fishing is for gross, weird, old men. We are none of those things…okay so_** I**_ am none of those things. You are one, maybe two of those things."

"I resent you implying that I'm weird and/or gross."

"Truthfully I was thinking weird. You caught me there. But I was leaning more towards a man instead of gross but whatever. "

"Will you please be serious for two seconds?" Rachel grunted in annoyance.

"You want me to be serious?_** Seriously**_, I don't know what happened between you and Q but I'm pissed at you for hurting her. You didn't see the damage you caused. She was so hurt and yet she's still defending your sorry ass because that's the kind of friend Q is. I don't know what you said or what you did or why you thought it was a good idea to break her heart but somehow you've managed to create one hell of a train wreck. If I'm being serious, I think you royally fucked up. If you would just tell me why you're being such a dumbass maybe I would understand, but you're not giving me anything here. So pull your head out of your ass and tell her you want to date her and make sweet hobbit/Princess babies with her or just stay the hell away so she can find somebody else who won't break her like you did. If you're not gonna give me any explanation or help me understand you at all then I'm done here. Back off, Q, and let her find somebody else," Santana replied and got up to leave.

"Quinn's mother knows," Rachel said simply.

"Wait, what?"

And just like that the proverbial wind was out of Santana's sails. The Latina sank back down in the booth.

"Judy knows. You want to know why I pulled away? Quinn's mother knows. She cornered me in the room while Quinn was downstairs. She knows about us and she told me if I really loved Quinn, I would end it. If Quinn's father finds out, he'll disown her. She'll be totally cut off. She'll have no way to pay for college. She'll lose her family."

"Hold up. Are you serious?"

Rachel nodded.

"Why would she do that? Why would he do that? More importantly, why wouldn't she take up for her own daughter?" Santana asked in disbelief.

"She said he'd leave her, too. Plus, she thinks it's wrong. It's a sin. She said she wouldn't ruin her marriage and her family for a sin."

"You can't be serious."

"She thinks it's just a phase. She thinks that I cornered Quinn into this. Her daughter isn't gay. It's my fault and if I wasn't in the picture then Quinn would be straight and would marry a nice boy…like Puck or Finn…or Sam."

"Yeah, pretty sure that's not how this works," Santana grunted.

"I tried to explain that to her. She wouldn't listen to a word I said. That's when she said if I really loved Quinn, I'd let her go."

"But that's ridiculous!" Santana shrieked in outrage. "This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! And you're just gonna sit there and take it? What the hell is wrong with you? Where is the Rachel Berry who fights for whatever she wants? Where is the girl who would send somebody to a crack house for a freaking solo? Now you're gonna roll over and play dead? Now when it really matters? Fuck your glee club solos. This is the real deal, Rachel! You're gonna let Q's parents control not only her life, but yours too? I thought I knew you better than that. I bet Quinn thought she knew you better than that, too. I can't wait to hear what she thinks about all of this."

"You can't tell her."

"Like hell I won't! I'm gonna march straight to your room right now and tell her everything you're too chicken shit to say. Then I'm gonna march my ass to her parents' house and beat the shit out of her crap-ass mother and punch her shitty father in his stupid dick!"

"Santana, I'm serious. If you tell Quinn, she'll confront them. If she does that, she'll lose it all. She'll lose her family. She'll lose her funding. She'll lose her future. And I know she'd give it up all up for me because you said it yourself that's the kind of friend Quinn is. She's loyal almost to a fault but…I'm not worth it, Santana. I can't ask her to give up everything for me. I can't be the reason she loses everything."

"She won't lose us," Santana said calmly.

"Yes and we can pay for her college education. Sure Quinn got a full ride, but that doesn't cover student loans and other expenses. But that's fine because we can pay all her student loan bills. We can pay for her meals. We can pay for her clothing. We can provide for her like her parents," Rachel said sarcastically.

"At least we'll love her for her, unlike her parents."

"I already talked to my fathers. Legally, there is nothing we can do. "

"She's over eighteen. It shouldn't matter."

"Can your parents afford to put Quinn through school? Mine can't. Brittany's can't. Puck's can't. All of our parents are barely supporting their own children. Yes, she's over eighteen. She can get a job. She can work her way through school. She can be up to her neck in debt for the rest of her life. For what? In four years, she'll be out of here. She'll be free from her parents."

"Four years? You want her to hide for four years? Are you insane? Really, have you thought this through at all?"

"Santana, I can't do that to her. I can't be the reason she loses everything. I love her way too much to ask that much of her….they're her family. She only needs them for four more years. Then she's free to do whatever she wants. It'll be her decision. She'll have a degree, a job, a life. Then she can decide if she needs them or wants them but….they're her family. I can't ask her to give up her family."

"So you're not even going to let her know there's another option? You're not going to tell her the truth?"

"I got into Julliard."

"Holy sh-, how many more bombs are you going to drop on me today?" Santana groaned.

"That's the last one I swear. You asked what was going on, I'm just telling you. Judy cornered me our first day back. She threatened me. I got the letter from Julliard a few days earlier. Freaky coincidence or maybe Fate is trying to tell me something. I can't be the one to ask Quinn to give up everything for me…not now."

"Not when you're not sure if you can do the same," Santana finished Rachel's unspoken thought.

The smaller brunette nodded.

"I get it. I just figured you'd at least let her have some say in all of this. It's her decision, too."

"Julliard has been my dream since I was four. She's the best friend I've ever had. I'm completely in love with her…but if we don't work out, I just threw away both of our futures. Quinn will get kicked out of college for no reason. She'll lose everything. I'll lose my shot at my dreams and she'll lose everything….at least this way, I get to keep my best friend. If I go to Julliard, we'll still be friends. We'll still talk. It might be the best for both of us if we're not together."

"And so you're telling me this…because?" Santana prompted.

"If I leave, you'll have to make sure Quinn's mom doesn't find out about the next girl. You'll have to convince her that it's better to stay quiet until she's officially free of her parents. If I leave, you'll have to take over. Tell her about her father. Tell her you think it's best. She's still trying to figure all of this out. She's still new to this. She can be herself at school but she has to keep it low key at home. Just make sure she knows that. Right now, I'm public enemy number one in her mother's eyes. If we can keep that directed towards me then as soon as I'm out of the picture, Quinn's fine until she's graduated or at least until she's found someone who's truly worth risking everything for," Rachel explained.

"You really think you're not worth it?"

"I know I'm not worth it…and all of this just further proves my point. I hurt her. You said it yourself I broke her. I hurt the person I care about the most because I'm scared. I'm scared of getting hurt and I'm scared of being the reason we both mess up our lives. Julliard is all I ever wanted and now…it's so much more complicated than that."

"Personally, I think you're stupid for not telling Quinn. She's just as involved with this as you are. Plus it's her future, too. She should have some say in it. I mean you're not unlovable, Rachel. You're weird as hell and kind of annoying but you're not worthless and you're not unlovable. Just cuz your mom didn't want you, doesn't mean nobody else wants you. I get that it's scary to give someone else that power to hurt you but that's what love is. You'll never love somebody and be loved back if you can't put yourself out there. That's what you real problem is. Whatever you've been thinking about yourself, that you're not worth it or whatever, those are just your insecurities. Everybody's got them. But you have to let go of that at some point if you want to find somebody who will love you," Santana explained.

"Love yourself before you can except anyone else to," Rachel replied dryly.

"Okay make fun of me, whatever. You're scared as shit of getting hurt so you hurt the girl you love instead. You're a coward, Rachel. You're a big fucking coward and that's not something I ever thought I'd say about Rachel Berry, Lima Ohio's most fearless soprano who took all our shit in high school but still came out on top. You're a total coward. Had me fooled."

"I guess that just proves I'm a great actress," Rachel smiled with watery eyes.

"Yeah. Great actress. I told ya that you were on the express track with your career. So damn talented that you already have to answer the age old question: love or career. Most people don't have to make this decision till they're like thirty or something. Guess you've made your choice. Have fun at Julliard. Good luck finding better friends there than the ones you had here. I hope your career is everything you want it to be…and I really hope you don't end up a rich, miserable, lonely old lady who used to have friends and lost the love of her life when she was eighteen."

"That's not fair, Santana," Rachel retorted, angrily.

"That's life, Short Stack. It's not fair. Seriously, have fun at Julliard. I hope It's worth it. And don't worry, I'll take care of Q. This shit with her parents won't go away just because you do. It's nice that you think it will, but it won't. So I'll be here and Britt will be here. We'll take care of her. We'll find a way for her to stay in school when this all blows up, because it inevitably will. We'll be her real friends and we'll help her pick up the pieces of her heart that you broke. Cuz that's what real friends do. As your real friend, I won't stand in your way and I really do wish you the best of luck at Julliard. I hope all your Broadway dreams come true. And I hope somebody you find somebody maybe half as good as Quinn, but somehow maybe that will be good enough for you. Or maybe not really good enough but I'd never want you to end up alone so at least a half as good substitute might work."

"What do you want me to do, Santana?" Rachel asked as tears pooled in her eyes.

"It's not about what I want. This is about what you want. It should be about what Quinn wants. You obviously want to go to Julliard. You obviously don't want to put yourself out there and give Quinn the power to hurt you. What I want doesn't matter. What Quinn wants should matter."

Rachel didn't answer. She couldn't look at the other girl. The guilt was swirling inside her. She wiped her tears but they kept falling.

"What would you do?" Rachel asked softly.

Santana's stiff posture softened just slightly.

"I would tell Quinn everything. I would tell her that I was a selfish, scared, little midget but that I loved her and I wanted to be with her. I'd explain the entire situation and I'd let her have a say. I'd discuss Julliard realistically with her. I'd put it all out there and work through it with her…instead of putting everything on me. I'd at least give her the option to spend whatever time we had left together. Then if I went to Julliard at least I wouldn't regret it cuz I would've given it a fair shot…that's what I would do," Santana replied.

Rachel nodded.

"But the question is what are you going to do?' Santana asked.

"I have no idea."

"Well figure it out soon. I've gotta meet Brittany. We're supposed to go to the movies," Santana muttered standing up.

_(AN: I have no idea why but I've developed a love affair with Santana's character. I just really enjoy making her crazy the voice of reason sometimes. Stick with me, folks!)_


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41 (or as I like to call it: Puck saves the day)**

Rachel walked all over campus that afternoon. It was the first day that felt like winter might finally be ending. The cold of the past month and half had been weighing her down, not just the weather but the cold, awkwardness between her and Quinn. It seemed like only yesterday that Rachel had gotten the letter from Julliard…and Quinn's mother had helped in turning her world upside down.

"A dollar for your thoughts?" a voice asked behind her.

"A dollar? Isn't it supposed to be a penny?" Rachel laughed.

"They looked like some pretty serious and possibly expensive thoughts. Sit with me?"

Rachel nodded and slid down onto the bench next to Puck.

"So you wanna tell me what's been going on?" Puck asked.

Rachel sighed and slumped back again the back of the bench, resting her head against Puck's shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her.

"You gotta know that I've loved having bro time. It's awesome to have Finn back and it's ten times better when you're there…but we're dudes and sometimes we like to do dude stuff. We like to play videogames that bore you. We like to watch porn that would be weird to watch with a chick in the room. We like to talk about sports that you know nothing about…I love having bro time with you. You're my best friend…but I can't pretend like it's okay anymore. I've been watching sink all semester, Rach. You gotta give me something so I can pull you back up," Puck explained when it became clear that Rachel wasn't talking.

Rachel turned and stared at him. He really was a sensitive guy underneath it all. Noah was the boy who loved her in high school. He was the boy who played with her as kids at the Jewish Center. He was the same boy she thought Quinn had wanted. They had made it past all of that drama last semester. They made it through everything from college. Now he wanted to help her sort out her latest drama. This time purely self-induced drama.

"You love her," Puck nudged Rachel's shoulder with the hand of his arm wrapped around the bench behind her.

"It's complicated."

"You always say shit like that. Let's uncomplicated it. Tell Puckasauras what the situation is and we'll make shit happen."

"Noah," Rachel whined with a tiny grin.

"Jokes aside. Give something to work with, Rach."

Rachel stared at the sky for a moment. Watching the clouds roll over into each other, changing shapes, and forming new clouds. She wished life was as easy to change. Just float along the wind, shifting and moving whenever needed.

"I got into Julliard," Rachel sighed.

"Holy shit! Seriously? That's awesome! I knew you would do it, Little Buddy!" Puck beamed proudly.

The grin dropped when he took in Rachel's face. She didn't tear her eyes from the clouds.

"I don't want to go," Rachel confessed.

"What?"

"It seems petty when I think about it. But a part of me feels like they rejected me. I know it's what I've worked my entire life for, but they rejected me. They couldn't look past the labels and the family history. They flat out rejected me and now a part of me feels like that means they don't deserve me."

"But isn't this what you've always wanted?" Puck asked slowly.

"It should be."

Puck breathed in and paused trying to absorb everything that Rachel wasn't saying out loud but was there nonetheless.

"You want to stay," Puck concluded.

"I don't know. Some days I think it's the opportunity of a lifetime. It's my dream. I've worked so hard for so long just for this very chance. I will always want to do Broadway. I know I will make it there. I have no doubts that I'll be on Broadway someday….but what about now? Julliard isn't a free pass immediately to Broadway. There are several paths I can take to get there. Sure it was a faster path but…I'm a young commuter with an unlimited metro card," Rachel grinned.

"I don't totally know what you mean," Puck laughed.

"If they rejected me before, what's to say that I'm not meant to be here. I feel like OSU has been great for me. It's not the prestige of Julliard. But the people I have here, the things I'm learning about myself…maybe I was supposed to come here to find out who I am. To find out what the rest of me wants. I've been obsessed with my career forever and it hasn't really started yet. When do I get to enjoy life and the people in it? What if I'm supposed to be here? It seems ridiculous. This is what I've wanted my entire life and now that it's actually in my grasp…I'm not sure it's what I want…does that make sense? Am I insane? I'm acting like Broadway will just wait for me. Let me do my own thing, go my own way in college, and then magically I'll just make it on Broadway."

"You said it yourself, you'll make it there. I have no doubt I'll be seeing you on Broadway. No matter what path you take to get there, you'll get there. You're too good not to make it."

"Talented people get swept under the rug by the thousands, probably even by the millions. Sometimes it's not strictly talent but the drive and the sacrifices you're willing to put into the career. A talented singer and actress with no drive who sits in Ohio and waits four years might miss the golden opportunity," Rachel reasoned.

"Or a talented singer and actress who is the most driven person I've ever known will be sure to get many golden opportunities. If I've learned anything from knowing you, Rach, it's that a girl like you with your talents, your looks, your brains, your everything- you make your own luck. There isn't one golden opportunity for you," Puck assured her.

Rachel sat in silence taking it in. Then she finally spoke again.

"I'm scared. I know what I'm good at. I'm an amazing actress and singer. I have emotional depth that comes out in every performance. I can cry on demand. I have perfect pitch. I can sing anything I put my mind to singing and usually do it better than the original performer…I'm not good at relationships. I've worked for a career that I don't have yet. I've worked on talents that I'm constantly improving. I haven't really worked at a relationship. I don't know how to do relationships….I don't want to mess up both of our lives."

"You're the best at everything you put your mind to…you can be the best at relationships if you work at it," Puck smiled.

"That's just the problem, Noah. I don't even know where to begin. I don't know how to work at it."

"That's the glory of a relationship, Rach. It's not just you. It's a team effort. It's a partnership. So when you don't know where to begin the other person is there to help."

"Unless I've scared her off. I hurt her. I've been terribly unfair to her and I haven't even given her the whole story," Rachel groaned in self pity.

"Quinn's not easily scared. She's a great partner. She's the best partner for you. You two make an awesome team. Tell her the whole story and just go for it. She makes you happy. What good is having all your Broadway dreams come true if you have nobody to share it with? I'm not saying that you shouldn't go to Julliard if that's what you really want. But if you don't want to go…you make your own luck. Rachel Berry will be on Broadway one way or another. You don't have to rely on Julliard to make that happen. You're strong enough and good enough to do it another way. If you want to stay her, please dear God, just stay. I don't think it means you're giving up your golden opportunity. It could mean you're gaining a different golden opportunity," Puck hugged her tightly.

"I'm going to drop another bomb on you," Rachel sighed.

"Lay it on me, babe. I'm the guy to un-complicate your complicated situations," Puck wiggled his eyebrows.

"Quinn's mother knows…about her and I. She knows and to say she's not happy with the situation is putting it very lightly."

Puck nodded slowly, "Give me more than that."

"She said Quinn's father will disown her. Quinn will lose everything…her family would kick her out and cut her off…because of me."

"Nope. Fuck that."

"Noah!" Rachel exclaimed incredulously.

"Don't let that stuck up bitch intimidate you. If you and Quinn wanna be together, be together. Deal with her parents as it comes. But again, I'll say that Quinn is your teammate. She's your partner. Deal with it together. You're Rachel freaking Berry. And-AND listen up, cuz this part is important: she's Quinn freaking Fabray. She's not some weak little girl. She's your best friend. She's the girl you love. And she's absolutely crazy about you. Tell her what's up. You'll figure out a way to make it work. If it means you sneak around behind her parents' backs for a little while, do it. They'll come around eventually. You just gotta take what you want and don't settle for less. You're Rachel Berry. You're impossible not to love. Give Quinn's parents time. Work out a way to get what you want, but do it together. Teammates, Berry. Good teamwork wins Superbowls. Shitty teams with all-stars who take it all on themselves to be the MVP without working with the team, don't ever win the Superbowl. Gotta be a team player to win it all," Puck explained simply.

"Just like that? You're not outraged at her parents? You're not going to tell me how selfish and stupid I've been acting? You're not going to yell at me? You're not going to give me a bunch of hypothetical situations and ways that they can all band together to save Quinn from her evil parents? Just be a team player?" Rachel asked in shock.

"I'm a dude. We're simple."

"Yeah but-," Rachel started in again.

Puck cut her off with a laugh," Listen, babe, I don't have to yell at you for shit you're already beating yourself up about. I don't need to bitch about her parents cuz clearly they suck. You just need to remember that Quinn isn't some damsel in distress. We don't need to band together to save her from the evil dragon parents. She's pretty good at saving herself. You just need to be the teammate she needs. Gotta back her up when the time comes….until then, get it on. Get naked together and enjoy all the goodness cuz let me tell you, you guys are like the hottest possible fantasy I could ever-"

"Noah! No! Don't even finish that thought. Don't think those things about me or Quinn. Just no!" Rachel ordered with a huff.

"Ruin all my fun. Again, I'm a simple dude but I have a great imagination."

"You're disgusting," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"And you're fixed."

"Excuse me?"

"Your problems. I think we've un-complicated the complicated in your life. Julliard is a no for now…Quinn is a yes…for nakedness and all of the other good stuff," Puck leered with a cheesy grin.

Rachel laughed and hit his side.

"Seriously, go march your tiny little Jewish behind back to your room, tell Quinn everything, tell her you wanna stay, tell her you love her, and then tell her you wanna make sweet lesbian love to her. Do it," Puck chuckled as Rachel hit him again.

"Noah!"

"I don't know why you're still here smacking me when you could be in your room macking on her."

Rachel glared at him as she stood up from the bench.

"Sure, disguise it as a diva storm off. I know what you're doing, Berry. Go get your girl."

Rachel turned around with a wink and giggle as she started back toward her room. Then quickly she spun back around.

"Wait! Noah, I need your help."

"I have always wanted a threesome. Yes, I'll do it," Puck smirked.

"Ew! No…I need your guitar skills."

Quinn was snuggled up on her bed with her biology book when Rachel stormed in the room. Quinn quickly marked her page and watched on in amusement as Rachel paced back in forth in front of the two beds.

"Rach?" Quinn asked.

Rachel stopped abruptly. She stared at Quinn, her eyes tracing up and down the blonde taking in the sweatpants and baggy t-shirt as well as the messy bun on top her head. Quinn was beautiful without even trying. Rachel's look of complete seriousness and utter concentration faded softly as she smiled at her roommate.

"What's up?" Quinn questioned with a grin.

"I have a lot of information for you and I'm going to say it quickly and in the most efficient method that I can. This will probably seem like a long-winded rant of sorts. At times I may ramble. You're going to have a lot of questions and a lot of opinions, I'm positive. But right now, I just need you to listen. Can you do that for me, Quinn? Can you stay completely silent until I've said my entire piece?"

Both girls were silent for a minute.

"Did you want an answer or did you want me to start my silence now?" Quinn asked cheekily after a second.

"Quinn, I'm completely serious. Did you not witness the way that I marched into the room. I'm a woman on a mission. This is not a joking matter," Rachel huffed adorably and Quinn melted.

"I promise I won't say a word until you are finished."

"Thank you," Rachel breathed.

The brunette paced a few more times and started wringing her hands. Then she took a deep breath. She stopped in place, smoothed out her shirt, and nodded.

"Here it goes…I got accepted into Julliard," Rachel stated.

"Oh my god-," Quinn began.

"Quinn-," Rachel chastised.

Quinn's eyes widened and she shut her mouth, even going as far as to zip her lips shut and throw away the key.

"Very mature," Rachel snorted with a tiny grin playing on her lips.

Quinn smiled in return.

"Now as I was saying. I've been accepted into Julliard's summer program. It would put me on track to begin sophomore with everyone else. The freshman class didn't pan out the way they had hoped and after reviewing my initial audition video, my essay, and receiving letters of recommendation from two of my professors here at OSU, yes I was equally as shocked by that as I'm sure you are- anyway, they decided that I'm exactly what Julliard needs. I apologize for not telling you. It was a big decision to make. I've wanted this my entire life. I found out right before we came back for this semester. I know I've hurt you and I've pulled away. I've made both of us miserable and I should have come to you immediately….but I panicked. I completely freaked out. I've worked my entire life for this very opportunity and now that I've gotten it, I wasn't sure if I even wanted it anymore."

"Because of me?" Quinn asked in shock.

"No talking," Rachel laughed. "But not solely because of you…but you have been a large part in the deciding factor. I've wanted Julliard my entire life. I've worked for Julliard and Broadway and New York. I never imagined I would go to school in Columbus, Ohio and find this amazing girl that…you've come to mean so much to me. I didn't know if I could be without you. How did all of my priorities in life change so quickly? I've worked my entire life towards getting into Julliard and going to New York and now all I can think about is if it's worth losing you…and I don't even have you…not really."

"That's not entirely true," Quinn whispered.

"You don't take directions well," Rachel grinned.

"Lucky for me I'm not an actress," Quinn teased.

Rachel rolled her eyes but smiled. They didn't speak for a moment. The air in the room had changed. They were bantering and joking with each other, but there was a definite tension. Rachel hadn't given her decision and there will still another key plot point in Rachel's planned speech.

"There's more."

"I assumed but you've been telling me to just listen and be quiet. I thought I'd give it a shot," Quinn swallowed nervously.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd tell me to go. Because you're selfless and loving and everything I ever wanted to find in another person that I would share my life with. Because telling you makes it all real. I means I have to make a decision. Because you'll tell me to follow my dreams because that's the kind of girl you are. Because you're a real friend, unlike any I've ever know, and you would let me walk out of your life for my dreams. I didn't tell you because I can't possibly ask you to give up your future when I'm freaking out about giving up mine," Rachel continued.

Quinn raised her eyebrow in question.

"You caught that? I figured you would. Your mother knows about us…or not us exactly but the possibility of us- and before you freak out, I need you to really hear me on this. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to go to Julliard. I want to stay here. I never thought that I would have anything or anyone who meant more to me than my dreams. I don't want you to think that I'm giving up my dreams for you. I don't want you to feel obligated to give up anything for me. I'm staying because I have friends here. I'm staying because Julliard rejected me so my pride is a little hurt and now I'm rejecting them. I'm staying because I have no doubt that I'll make it to Broadway anyway. It's just a different path than I originally planned. I'm not giving up anything. I'll still get my dreams. I'm just doing it a different way so that I'll have people to share them with. Not solely limited to you. I'm not trying to put that kind of pressure on you or on us when there isn't even technically an us to pressure. Beyond romantic intentions and the fact that I'm basically head over heels in love with you, you are my best friend. I have a real best friend for the first time and I don't want to lose her. I have Santana and Brittany and Noah and Finn. I have Mercedes and Artie and Tina. I have Kurt and Blaine. I have all of these people here. I have this wonderful support system and I'm just truly discovering who I am. I'm not ready to give that up. In some ways, this is me still being incredibly selfish. So please don't think you need to be selfless for me," Rachel explained.

"What did she say?" Quinn asked slowly.

"Your father will cut you out of their lives."

Quinn nodded with a clenched jaw.

"I don't know how serious threats are in your family. But they're your family and the thought that there is even a possibility that you could lose your family just to be with me…I could never ask that much from you. I would never want that from you. So I pulled away. Your mother said she wouldn't support this. She would be behind whatever decision your father makes if he ever finds out. She wasn't going to tell him anything but…" Rachel trailed off.

"I expected they wouldn't be happy but…wow," Quinn breathed.

"I understand if you would prefer that we terminate any relationship thoughts."

"What? No, wait…just hold on! You've had a long time to process this. You've given me three seconds….just let my brain catch up," Quinn whimpered as her eyes filled a little.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel rushed to Quinn's bed and hugged her tightly.

Quinn pulled back and shook her head. Rachel looked immediately wounded but tried to hide it.

"I just…this changes nothing, okay," Quinn stated firmly.

Rachel looked confused.

"Well that's wrong but…I mean…obviously this changes everything but…it doesn't have to. She hasn't told him and she won't. My mother's kept secrets for me before- not that I want to hide you! I just…I won't lose you. I can't. I won't," Quinn stuttered out.

"Quinn-," Rachel started in.

"No. It's my turn now. You had your time. You've had plenty of time. You made your decisions and you left me out of that. And yes, I'm pissed. You hurt me. You kept vital information from me…but I get it. I understand why you did it. You freaked out and you're being offered your dreams while I'm…while my family crushes mine…I get it. It doesn't make the past two months okay. You made us both miserable…but again, I- I don't want to lose you. I refuse to let you go. So…we deal with my parents as it comes. I can't hide who I am forever but that doesn't mean I'm going to march right on home this second and declare my undying love for you to my parents while waving a pride flag. I don't want to hide us. I want to be with you, Rachel. I've wanted to be with you since I met you. I can't turn my back on that now. Can we just…cross that bridge when we get there? I know that's shitty and it's not a resolution. But if you're really staying and I'm tired of hurting…" Quinn trailed off.

Rachel nodded silently.

"I don't want to miserable anymore. It's terrifying to think about losing my family but…it's not happening yet. We were going to go slow. We were going to test the waters. I don't want to hurt when I see you. I don't want to see you hurting when you see me. We've been trying to be without each other and it sucks…can we just…can we try it the other way?" Quinn asked with a small sad laugh.

"We're a team. That's what Noah told me. You and I are the perfect team. We'll get through it together. Your parents. Whatever else…we'll handle it together," Rachel promised.

"Can I please kiss you now?" Quinn asked with a tearful smile.

"God yes. Been way too long," Rachel grinned and leaned in to kiss Quinn sweetly.

Somehow what started as a sweet and chaste kiss with the promising of something more for their relationship escalated into passion and the pent up frustrations of the past month and a half. They lowered themselves on Quinn's bed with Rachel on top of the blonde.

"Did you lock the door?" Quinn moaned as Rachel trailed kisses down her neck.

"I don't remember," Rachel groaned.

"What if Santana or-," Quinn started but cut off when Rachel assaulted her lips with her own mouth and tongue.

"Go out with me," Rachel panted.

Quinn pulled back just enough to look Rachel in the eyes, "yes."

"Friday night. Promise me. A real date."

"Yes," Quinn smiled.

Rachel went back in and kissed her fiercely.

"Hey, Q, did you-," Santana started barging into the room.

Rachel and Quinn parted quickly. The brunette sprung off her so fast she fell off the bed unto the floor.

"Seriously?" Santana laughed.

Rachel huffed and stood up straightening her clothes while blushing. Quinn flushed as well ducking her head.

"This is why man invented locks. If nothing else put a freaking sock on the door. I don't need to see Berry hot and bothered ever again," Santana gagged.

"Did you need something, Santana?" Quinn asked.

"You're cool?" the Latina asked the blonde while indicating toward Rachel with her head.

"Not that it is any of your business but Quinn and I have spoken a great deal about the events of this semester and have reached a mutually satisfying decision for the time being," Rachel glared.

"All of the events?" Santana threatened.

"Everything."

Santana looked Rachel up and down. She narrowed her eyes menacingly. Then turned back to Quinn studied the blonde. Finally she smiled.

"Good."

"What did you need, S?" Quinn asked.

"Puckerman said we're all going out on Friday."

"We're all going out?" Quinn asked Rachel with narrowed eyes.

"My end of the bargain still holds up. Just…trust me," Rachel smiled weakly.

"This better be good," Santana snorted.

"You both will have to wait until Friday but I assure it will be good."

Santana rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Midget. At least I don't have to hang out with two Debbie Downers anymore."

With that, Santana left.

"She's so pleasant," Rachel scoffed.

"So Friday night involves everyone? I know you haven't really dated in a while, Rach, but that's not usually how it works," Quinn teased.

"Again, I say: trust me."

And despite whatever pain they caused each other, Quinn did exactly that. She trusted Rachel.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Friday couldn't come quick enough. The week had been crazy, leaving Quinn and Rachel to hang out. Rachel had been in rehearsals for the spring musical, OSU's production of Cabaret (staring Miss Rachel Berry as Sally Bowles of course). On top of that, the singer had been trying to finish a few songs for her composition class. In direct contrast with the previous, Rachel had been spending time in solitude in the practice studios to write instead of her room. She quickly discovered that it was impossible to get any work done with Quinn in the same room. Her lips seemed to keep Rachel preoccupied. Neither girl had complained that first night after Rachel had confessed everything.

However, after that night they had no time to spend together. Rachel rehearsed and wrote. Quinn had two exams that week. Midterms were two weeks away but for whatever reason two of her professors deemed midterms pointless and said they would schedule exams whenever they pleased.

Santana and Brittany also kept Quinn occupied when she wasn't in the room. Jenny had started talking to some girl so her presence had dwindled at their lunch table. Finn had been getting tutored at lunch all week in preparation for midterms. Rachel had been noticeably absent at lunch along with Puck. Quinn wasn't sure what those two were up to but she was sure they were planning something for Friday night. It made the blonde excited and nervous. Santana was fed up with all of it. She demanded to know what Rachel had planned and complained that her patience was thinning…everyone else wondered what patience Santana had been referring to.

Brittany had been a savior as a distraction. She chatted happily with Quinn about her excitement for the future double dates the girls would have together. She didn't know what Rachel was planning either but knew it would be great. It was Brittany's idea that she, Quinn, and Santana get ready together on Friday.

Rachel had stated a late rehearsal and weaseled her way out of hanging out with the girls. Quinn had been slightly miffed but figured her girl was planning something. Rachel had warned Santana to make sure Quinn got to the secret location by nine o'clock sharp. The Latina had rolled her eyes but promised.

It was 8:45 and they still hadn't left their dorm. The Latina was growing impatient. Brittany was curling Quinn's hair while they giggled about the outfit Kurt had been wearing at lunch that day.

"You wanna hurry up anytime soon?" Santana snapped for the eight time.

"Chill out, S," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"You're gonna be late for your date," the Latina growled.

"Relax, White Rabbit," the shorter blonde chuckled.

"Rachel will totally understand and then she'll flip when she sees how hot Quinn is," Brittany beamed.

"Thanks, B."

"Seriously, let's go. Hurry your ass up," the Latina glowered.

At 9:06, Rachel paced nervously next to the stage. Puck offered a sympathetic smile while the MC asked her again if she was ready yet. He said he could bump up one more act but then she had to perform or forget it.

"Maybe they're just running late," Puck offered with a shrug to Rachel.

"Or maybe she realized she hates me after everything I put her through this semester," Rachel lamented miserably.

"She'll be here," Puck assured.

"You're next," the MC ordered.

Rachel swallowed thickly and scanned the crowd again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Stars Under the Stars would like to wish a warm welcome to our last performer, Rachel Berry," the MC announced.

Rachel scanned the crowd again and shot Puck a heartbroken look. He shrugged and climbed the steps with his guitar strapped on his back. Rachel sighed and followed him dejectedly. As always, the show must go on.

"Hello," Rachel said into the microphone and cringed immediately as her voice boomed through the speakers, echoing off the surrounding buildings.

"Hi," Rachel squeaked.

Her nerves jumped into her throat immediately. She scanned the crowd again anxiously.

"I'm Rachel Berry and this is my friend Noah on guitar," Rachel explained anxiously.

Puck whispered to her, "You got this, Rach."

"I've um…this is my first time…here. I've performed on a lot of stages but I've never done my own songs. Nothing like this. Um…I…I wrote this for a special person who was supposed to be here but…" Rachel trailed off.

Then a grin slid upon Rachel's features as she saw a pissed off Latina ushering two blondes from the gates into the open field. Sam and Finn found them immediately and ushered them to the blanket Rachel had spread out for her friends near the stage.

"I…wow…I'd like to thank my friends for coming out tonight to support me. I wasn't sure if they would all make it but it seems they have," Rachel giggled.

Quinn stared up in shock as she realized Rachel was on stage with Puck and his guitar. Rachel was singing tonight? She looked gorgeous in her tight jeans and black tank top with a fitted blazer. Professional yet almost rock-star. Her hair hung down, loosely curled around her shoulders. She had smoky eyes and bright red lips. Not at all what Quinn pictured Rachel would wear for their first date. She half assumed a cute dress. Then again it was only the beginning of April in Ohio so a cute dress would be a little cold.

Quinn had worn jeans as well and a pink cardigan over a white camisole. Her hair was curled loosely similar to Rachel's but part of it was pulled back in a clip, leaving it half up and half down. She had light makeup on and looked more naturally beautiful than anything else. Almost the picture of innocence while Rachel seemed more rock and roll. Yet, Quinn knew they would compliment each other perfectly just as they always do.

She took a second to look at the location. It was the same place Rachel had mentioned in the fall as the perfect date, with the live music and the stars above. It was a tiny outdoor amphitheatre on the hillside but Quinn noticed that for the winter the field had been enclosed with a wooden fence and there were heat lamps all along it giving the entire place a warm glow. Couples were spread out everywhere on blankets. Some with picnic baskets (Quinn noted there were two on the blanket Rachel had spread out for their group). Some with bottles of wine. Some people were just cuddled together under a blanket on the blankets. The sky was open and the stars totally visible. It definitely wasn't too crowded. Rachel had been right…it was the perfect place for a date and it was romantic without a doubt.

"So please be kind as this is my first time. With that said, I'd like to dedicate this to…to the girl I'm in love with."

There was a pause as Puck began to strum his guitar gently; the audience shifted its attention finally to the tiny brunette and mohawked boy on stage.

"This is for Quinn," Rachel finished a little breathlessly.

Quinn looked to the Latina and the blonde next to her.

"You knew. I was almost late," Quinn muttered.

"Don't get pissed. Just…listen," Santana smiled just as Puck kept strumming gently.

Rachel locked eyes with Quinn and smiled softly. Then the brunette opened her mouth and let her heart pour out.

_"I wish I could do better by you, cuz that's what you deserve._

_ You sacrifice so much of your life in order for this to work."_

Rachel sang softly while Quinn sucked in a breath and knew it was too late. Just as she sucked in air, Rachel had already sucked the blonde in. Too late now, she would belong to the brunette for the rest of her life if Rachel would have her. Brittany beamed watching the enraptured blonde. Santana grinned triumphantly. Quinn didn't catch any of her friends' reactions. She couldn't tear her eyes off the girl on stage.

_ "While I'm off chasing my own dreams, sailing around the world. _

_ Please know that I'm yours to keep…my beautiful girl." _

Rachel pleaded with her eyes and her voice and Quinn broke. Tears sprang to Quinn's eyes but she couldn't look away. Rachel was stuck in the same trance as if everyone disappeared except her and Quinn.

_ "When you cry a piece of my heart dies knowing that I may have been the cause. If you were to leave, fulfill someone else's dreams I think I might_

_ totally be lost." _

A tear slid down Quinn's cheek and Rachel's eyes filled as well. Puck smiled proudly watching his best friend bare her heart and soul for the girl she loved. It was about damn time she started acting like Rachel Berry again. This was the girl he knew from years ago. This was the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve and gave her all. Finally she gave it all to the right person.

_ "While I'm off chasing my own dreams, sailing around the world._

_ Please know that I'm yours to keep, my beautiful girl."_

Rachel quickly wiped a tear but didn't pull her eyes from Quinn's. Everyone in the audience was enthralled. She had successfully pulled each and every person in, but she only cared about the blonde.

_ "You don't ask for no diamond rings, no delicate string of pearls. _

_ That's why I wrote this song to sing, my beautiful girl."_

Rachel finished putting every ounce of love she had into the final line. Quinn sprung to her feet and began walking toward the stage as the crowd erupted into applause. Rachel missed all of it. She didn't care about the praise, the applause, or the standing ovation from everyone. She held her breath as Quinn drew closer. Rachel slowly stepped off the stage just as the blonde made her way to the bottom of the stairs.

"I know it wasn't eloquent or particularly complex-," Rachel started nervously.

Quinn shook her head silently.

"No?" Rachel asked.

"Just shut up, Rach," Quinn laughed and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Can I please be yours now?" Rachel begged into Quinn's ear.

Quinn nodded against her cheek, "You're mine, beautiful girl."

Rachel gripped her tighter and nodded repeatedly into Quinn's neck. The taller girl rubbed up and down Rachel's back, tracing her spine and sending shivers through both of them. Rachel pulled back just enough to look into Quinn's eyes.

"If I'm yours, can I call you mine?" Rachel questioned.

"You never had to ask. I've been yours since the first day we met."

"Thank God," Rachel breathed while Quinn giggled.

Then the brunette silence Quinn's giggles with her lips. Quinn smiled into the gentle kiss.

"Alright, Romeo. Get back up here. They want another song. You gonna keep your new fans waiting while you mack on your girl or you wanna serenade her again?" Puck teased.

"I do have an entire notebook devoted to this woman," Rachel laughed.

"Sing for me," Quinn requested.

"Always," Rachel replied and climbed back up the steps after reluctantly pulling out of the blonde's embrace.

"Knock their socks off," Santana ordered, sauntering up next to the blonde and smacking Rachel's ass.

Rachel laughed walking back on stage. The audience broke into wild applause again.

"I hope I'm not being too presumptuous by dedicating this next song to the same girl, but this time I'll say it's for my girlfriend," Rachel beamed.

Quinn laughed and rolled her eyes. Rachel ducked her head as she blushed. Somehow their first date was completely different from how Quinn had pictured it over Christmas break months ago. She figured it would've been an intimate affair between Rachel and her. Quinn thought maybe dinner. Maybe they'd go to a movie. Maybe they'd hold hands. Maybe they would go back to their dorm that night and shyly cuddle, kiss sweetly, and take things slow. They would push their boundaries a little because how could they possibly keep their hands off each other once they started. But it would be sweet and romantic and special…not because it was an elaborately planned date or all that different from other dates, but mainly because it was with Rachel.

Quinn never expected that she would get the date different from all other dates. It was elaborately planned. She was being serenaded in a three-song set by the girl of her dreams. Still incredibly sweet, romantic, and special…but not ordinary at all. She should've known Rachel wouldn't do anything the normal way. The girl had big dreams and was going to be a star. Stars didn't do things half-assed.

Yet, Quinn was beyond shocked that her first date with Rachel was an affair involving her closest friends and crowd full of strangers. Somehow it felt more intimate than discreetly holding hands in a movie theater or trading shy longing looks across a dinner table. A field full of people and it was only about her and Rachel. How did the brunette always manage to exceed Quinn's expectations?

She was sharing her first date with her best friends and couldn't be happier. Rachel had packed two picnic baskets for all of them. The romantic dinner was actually fruit and ginger ale for the two of them. The rest of their friends were treated to potato chips, pretzels, soda, and of course beer for Puck. Rachel had planned for all of them. She even went out of her way to include Sam because she knew how important he was to Quinn.

Quinn knew that this was Rachel's way of showing all of their friends that she was serious about Quinn and vice versa. Sharing their first date didn't take away any of the romanticism. She was being serenaded publicly for goodness sake. It doesn't get more romantic than that. But she was happy she got to share this with her friends. She got to see her girl in her element. She got to witness Rachel's true passion for music and her true passion for Quinn.

They'd been having intimate private moments since they met. They'd watched movies, had dinners, and basically dated without a title. This made it official. It was a public declaration of her intentions and Quinn had never felt more loved or wooed.

Rachel climbed off the stage to great applause and praise from her friends. She gladly accepted each handshake, pat on the back, and hug from all of them. Then finally she collapsed on the blanket next to Quinn. The blonde grinned as Rachel cuddled up next to her and buried her head in Quinn's lap. Quinn giggled and began running her fingers through Rachel's hair while their friends entertained them, acting like idiots and throwing potato chips at each other. Brittany and Santana were cuddling adorably but the Latina kept throwing pretzels at Finn every few seconds. Finn and Sam were laughing and being slightly disgusting by seeing who could shove more potato chips in their mouths. Sam was winning obviously. Mercedes, who had shown up during the second song with Blaine and Kurt unbeknownst to Quinn and Rachel (who had been lost in their own world), was leaning against Puck as he attempted to teach her a few chords on his guitar. Kurt and Blaine were cuddled together. It was perfect. Quinn had never been happier.

"Thank you," Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear leaning down slightly.

Rachel grinned and snuggled closer in Quinn's lap. They all laughed, ate, and had a great night. A first date shared with the people who would someday be the couple's support system if and when shit would inevitably hit the fan.

"I gotta hand it to ya, Midget, you sure know how to woo a girl," Santana laughed at the love-struck look on Quinn's face.

Rachel pulled her face from Quinn's lap to cheekily grin at the Latina.

"I've been planning for months. I should hope this was good," Rachel replied.

"Months, huh?" Quinn teased leaning down to kiss Rachel's cheek.

"Oh god. You guys are gonna be one of those disgusting couples who can't keep their hands off each other, aren't you," the Latina gagged.

'Takes one to know one," Puck chuckled nodded to the way Brittany was wrapped around the Latina.

"Shut up, Puckerman. Like you're much better," Santana glared hinting at Mercedes.

Puck just grinned and kissed Mercedes on the cheek. She blushed and cuddled closer.

"And that's our cue to get out of here and find some ladies for ourselves," Sam laughed and pulled Finn to his feet.

"But what-," Finn mumbled.

"Chicks, dude. Let's go," Sam reiterated and Finn happily followed behind him.

"This was quite fun but we should be heading out too," Kurt smiled, pulling Blaine along.

"Your loss," Santana scoffed.

Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled politely at everyone else.

"You were great, Rachel," Blaine praised as they left.

"You really were amazing up there," Quinn husked, dropping at strawberry to Rachel's waiting mouth.

Rachel smiled and opened her mouth so Quinn could feed her. Quinn kept one hair running her fingers through Rachel's hair while the brunette nibbled on the fruit. Her tongue swiped out to get a little of the juice and Quinn's eyes flashed for a moment, zeroing in on the tongue. Her eyes darkened slightly and Rachel grinned mischievously.

"Yep, it's official. You guys are disgusting," Santana groaned.

Quinn laughed and threw a grape at Santana.

"Nobody said you had to stay and watch," Rachel challenged.

"Nobody said you had to stay either. Shouldn't you two be shacking up by now? The girl freaking serenaded you, Q. I'd be dropping my panties by now."

"I thought you weren't wearing any," Brittany wondered aloud while Santana's eyes widened and she clasped a hand over her girlfriend's mouth.

"Gross," Mercedes whined.

"Awesome," Puck laughed before Mercedes smacked his chest.

Some things would never change.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Quinn husked, leaning down and kissing Rachel gently.

The brunette's heartbeat spiked the second Quinn joined their lips. Quinn pulled back slightly, her eyes darker than before. Rachel's had darkened as well. She bit her lip and nodded slightly.

"So we're gonna go," Rachel announced cheerfully.

"Damn right you are," Puck winked, before Mercedes smacked him again.

He laughed and pulled her in for a gentle kiss.

"See you tomorrow," Quinn said quickly as they gathered their picnic basket.

"Cedes, will you take care of my blanket? I'd ask Santana but I know she'd defile it with Brittany," Rachel sighed.

"I got it, girl. Have a good night," Mercedes replied.

Quinn reached her hand out to Rachel as she stood up. The brunette locked their fingers and stood as well. She picked up the picnic basket and shot the Latina a glare after Santana had wolf whistled. Quinn blushed but pulled Rachel toward the gate a little quicker.

They made it back to their dorm in record time. Rachel wasn't really sure how they had gotten there so fast, other than Quinn seemed on a mission to get there quickly. The blonde unlocked the door and kicked off her shoes while Rachel placed the basket on her desk and took care of her own shoes.

"Good date?" Rachel asked, her voice quivered with the slight worry.

"The best," Quinn replied.

Rachel turned around and her mouth dropped open at the sight of Quinn sprawled out on Rachel's bed. The blonde had shed her cardigan and her jeans, leaving her only in a white camisole and her boy cut panties. Rachel swallowed hard.

"You know you're making it incredibly difficult for me to control myself with you looking like that," Rachel squeaked.

"I'm too lazy to grab my shorts," Quinn smirked.

"If we start this, I won't be able to stop. Not after tonight. Not after everything."

Quinn seemed to think this over. A momentary look of worry passed over her features. Rachel's lust forgotten in that second. The brunette crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to Quinn, gathering the taller girl in her arms.

"It's okay if you don't want to. I wasn't expecting it. I don't…we don't have to do anything you don't want to do. After all, it's only our first date," Rachel ended with a tiny smile.

"But you planned everything and it was perfect and-," Quinn started to ramble.

"And it's still perfect. I didn't do all of that for you so you would sleep with me tonight…I did it because I love you. I wanted you to have the perfect night. I wanted you to know how much I care about you and how I will never hurt you again."

Quinn's worry gave way to a bright smile as she leaned forward and touched her lips to Rachel's.

"Okay, seriously though, if you're gonna kiss me and not wear pants…" Rachel trailed off with a blush.

Quinn laughed and got off the bed to her dresser. She pulled out a pair on shorts and slipped them on.

"Better?" Quinn giggled.

"That depends on your definition of better," Rachel grunted, tossing her head back on her bed to stare at the ceiling.

Quinn walked back over to Rachel's bed and crawled over top of her.

"Hi," Quinn smiled.

"Hi," Rachel echoed.

"You're my girlfriend."

"I am," Rachel grinned in turn. "And you're mine."

"I am," Quinn whispered and kissed Rachel softly.

Just as things were starting to heat up between them and Rachel was tracing her tongue along the seam of Quinn's lips, the blonde rolled off her.

"Go ahead and get changed. Put on some pjs because I have no intention of sleeping in my bed all the way across the room tonight," Quinn ordered playfully.

Rachel rolled off the bed and grabbed her change of clothes from her drawer.

"Is that so, Fabray? Bossing me around and stealing my bed?" Rachel asked.

"Where are you going?" Quinn puzzled, confusion etched on her face.

"Bathroom. If I change here, I'm afraid you won't be able to contain yourself," Rachel teased.

Quinn groaned and flopped back on Rachel's bed. A few minutes later, Rachel re-emerged in her pajamas. Pink shorts with DIVA stamped across the butt and a tight, black tank top with no bra underneath. Quinn's heart raced noticing Rachel's hardened peaks.

"Better?" Rachel asked crawling back onto the bed next to Quinn.

The brunette cuddled into Quinn's side, nuzzling her neck and placed a kiss there.

"Depends on your definition," Quinn wheezed, trying to control her body's reaction to the other girl.

Rachel grinned into Quinn's neck and snuggled in closer, intertwining their legs.

"Perfect date," Quinn sighed.

"Only the best for my girl," Rachel giggled.

They kissed again and it quickly started getting more intense. Rachel plunged her tongue into Quinn's mouth and moaned as the blonde sucked the strong twisting muscle, tangling it with her own.

"You should know, I don't really put out on the first date," Quinn teased after pulling back slightly.

"I don't either," Rachel husked in return.

Their lips fused back together as their heat gained in intensity. Quinn pulled Rachel on top of her.

"But is this really our first date?" Quinn asked, pulling away again.

Rachel looked at her curiously.

"I mean, how many times did you take me to the Warner Theater? How many movies have you paid for? How many dinners have you taken me to? I kinda feel like this wasn't really our first date? Maybe our first Big date but not the first date," Quinn reasoned, pulling Rachel's lips back to her own.

Rachel was shocked for a second but got back into the kissing quickly. Things were escalating out of her control. She couldn't seem to get enough. Unlike the last time they had been in this position, on top of each other, and out of control, they weren't drunk. They were coherent. They were in love. They were dating. All her reasons for going slow were evaporating with each swipe of Quinn's talented tongue.

"Are you sure?" Rachel panted.

"I love you," Quinn answered simply.

Rachel melted and kissed Quinn with three short pecks before attacking the blonde's neck. She kissed from where Quinn's neck met her shoulder all the way up to Quinn's ear.

"I love you so much," Rachel husked.

"Show me," Quinn begged.

Again, things with Rachel were never how Quinn planned them to be. She thought their first official date wouldn't be under the watch of all their friends. She thought they wouldn't sleep together after their first official date. But here she was, practically begged Rachel to have sex with her. Nothing with Rachel ever went according to Quinn's plans or expectations…but it always ended up better. That's why she knew she should just go with her gut. There was no one else she would ever want to have a first time with. The night had been so perfect and she'd never felt more in love.

(_AN: random bit of info...the song Rachel wrote for Quinn is "The Girl" by City and Colour. For a female's perspective on the song, check out my cover of it that I did for this story. I loved the lyrics of this song and slightly altered them to fit my purpose for this story. So then to get a girl's voice in my head and the changed in the lyrics I decided to cover the song. Check it out if you're interested. [ http : / / swift. fm/ #!/ song / browneyeddreamweaver-the-girl /102643/ ] just take out all the spaces. If not, I still think the song fits.)_


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43: The Final Chapter (or as I like to call it: The first time smut writer writing smut! So shield your eyes if you're a young pup b/c I need to live up to my M Rating)**

Tongues dueled as hands roamed and caressed every available inch. Rachel was desperately trying to cover every inch of Quinn's skin she could find with her lips. Placing kisses on her mouth, her chin, her cheeks, each closed eyelid, her forehead, and then her nose resulting in a small giggles from the blonde beneath her.

Quinn opened her eyes to take in the other girl. The blonde's hazel eyes were darkened with arousal but shining with something else. Rachel had never felt more loved or wanted then she did in that moment with the way Quinn was looking at her. She smiled and kissed Quinn again. This was so happening. Finally.

Quinn smiled into the kiss and then took her turn to trace her lips over the corner of Rachel's mouth, her cheek, and her chin. It could have been deemed as sloppy kissing by anyone else, kissing around the mouth but always missing the intended target. However, with Quinn each target was intentional. She was kissing what she loved about the brunette. The corner of her mouth where the right side was always pitched just slightly higher when Rachel beamed her famous 'Rachel Berry Show Face' smile, reminding Quinn of how determined and talented her love was. Her cheeks always so rosy and quick to blush whenever Quinn complimented her. Next her chin, so adorable and perfect, not too strong, not a butt chin which Rachel always said her Daddy has, but just a perfect chin that quivers when she cries reminding Quinn how fragile her strong girl was. She wanted to always be the one to protect Rachel and make her smile when her chin quivered. She kissed each eyelid as Rachel had done. Grinning when the girl fluttered her eyes back open. Rachel's eyes. Deep brown pools of chocolate. Perhaps the brunette's most expressive feature. She held nothing back in those eyes and that night they were shining with complete adoration for the girl beneath her.

Then finally Quinn kissed Rachel's nose. She loved Rachel's nose. She knew the other girl was always so self-conscious about it. It wasn't the typical "Hollywood" nose. But truthfully Rachel's nose was one of Quinn's favorite features of the other girls'. Her nose made her Rachel Berry and not some other wannabe actress or singer who got a nose job to please the masses. Rachel's nose made her the woman she was, the woman Quinn loved.

Now it was Rachel's turn to giggle.

"Was it as weird when I kissed you like that as it was while you were kissing all over my face?" Rachel asked with a laugh.

"Not weird at all. Lovely. Loving," Quinn replied, eyes dancing with happiness.

"Good," Rachel beamed not the 'show face' smile where one side was pitched just a little higher and little tighter than the other but her real smile.

It was the smile reserved just for Quinn Fabray and it melted the blonde every time.

"Mine," Rachel husked, dusting her lips across Quinn's neck.

The blonde's breath hitched as Rachel began thoroughly worshiping her neck. Nibbling here, biting there, soothing with her tongue, sucking lightly, then peppering again with gentle kisses. She knew she would have to wear her hair down for the next several days after the hickeys she was sure Rachel was leaving, marking her as her own. The thought of Rachel marking her sent a shiver down Quinn's spine that settled right between her thighs.

As if reading her mind, Rachel ground her hips down into the blonde who spread her legs more to make room. A gentle rhythm started building between the two. A steady push and pull of hips. Rachel groaned and pulled back from Quinn's neck. Her eyes darkened even more, pupils full blown as she took in her handiwork on the blonde's neck.

"God, I want you," Rachel whimpered.

Quinn grinned in response and pulled the brunette back down into a heated kiss. Rachel moaned loudly and let her body fall complete flush against the girl beneath her. Curve meeting curve. Sliding against each other deliciously. Quinn's hands found their way into Rachel's hair, tugging gently to pull her back and expose her neck. Quinn then assaulted Rachel's neck. Her lips gently learning her inch of the brunette. Rachel pulled away then and sat up, straddling the blonde. Quinn raised her eyebrow perfectly sending a rush of wetness between Rachel's legs.

Quinn smirked as if knowing exactly what reaction happened. She tried to pull the brunette back down to her but Rachel shook her head. Her fingertips found the bottom of her own shirt and Rachel quickly discarded her shirt leaving her completely topless and straddling Quinn.

The blonde groaned at the sight of her girl's breasts. Dusky nipples straining for Quinn's attention. Within seconds, Quinn captured the right nipple in her mouth. Lips tugging at the harden peak while her hands slid up Rachel's side. One hand going to the middle of Rachel's back to support her while the other hand teased the brunette's left breast.

"Yes," Rachel hissed, rocking her hips down into the blonde.

Quinn moaned in return, " So good."

She sucked and teased Rachel's nipple till the stiff peak was shining in the sliver of moonlight when she pulled her mouth away with a pop. She bit her lip taking in her work. Then she quickly dove in to the left nipple giving it equal attention while her hand caressed Rachel's right.

"Please," Rachel whimpered rocking a little harder.

Quinn took that as her signal and flipped them over. There was no better feeling than having a panting Rachel Berry beneath her. Rachel's chest was heaving and her eyes were pitch black. She was left only in those DIVA shorts that had a dark spot between her thighs where her wetness was beginning to soak through. Quinn's mouth watered at the sight. She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. In through the nose and out through the mouth. She tried once again but quickly realized she could smell the other girl's arousal. Her core throbbed with the knowledge of just how wet and ready Rachel was for her and she didn't even have her completely naked yet.

Quinn ripped off her own shirt before placing her hands on Rachel's inner thighs and spreading the girl's legs. She nearly drooled, getting an even better look at the wet spot on Rachel's shorts. So wet. She could feel the heat coming from the other girl as well.

Rachel whimpered at the hungry look in the blonde's eyes. She could devour her at any second…and Rachel wanted it. She wanted to be completely devoured. She wanted to feel Quinn's mouth on her everywhere, to have the blonde taste all of her, to feel her inside her. She bit back her moan at the thought.

Quinn brought one hand to Rachel's center. She took two fingers and traced Rachel's slit through her shorts. Rachel moaned loudly. Quinn raised her eyebrow and rubbed her fingers harder against the brunette's clit. Rachel gushed at the pressure and the eyebrow. Rachel had never been wetter in her entire life.

Finally it seemed that Quinn took some pity on the other girl, trailing her fingers up Rachel's hips to the top of her shorts. The brunette lifted her hips to help Quinn get rid of her shorts. She tugged the shorts and panties down at the same time leaving Rachel completely exposed. Quinn's breath caught.

"You are so beautiful," Quinn breathed reverently.

Rachel flushed and ducked her head. Quinn grabbed her chin and forced the brunette to look at her.

"I'm serious, Rach. You're the most beautiful woman. I can't even…I love you," Quinn pressed.

Rachel smiled gently and brought her lips to Quinn's. They kissed softly. Quinn's hand cupping Rachel's jaw while their tongues chased and teased each other.

"I can't believe you're mine," Rachel mumbled against Quinn's lips.

"All yours," Quinn grinned before kissing her again.

The blonde reached down between them while her mouth was distracting Rachel and cupped the other girl. Rachel gasped as Quinn's fingers slid up and down her slit. Quinn parted her lips and traced Rachel's clit.

"Take these off," Rachel panted, pulling at Quinn's shorts.

"You first," Quinn insisted, bullying Rachel's clit out of its little hood.

Rachel spread her legs further with a flutter. Quinn teased and gently twisted Rachel's little nub. Using two fingers she slid around in the wetness memorizing the feel of her girl. She traced Rachel's entrance but didn't dip inside just yet. Skating back up to her clit and rubbing a little harder. Rachel moaned in Quinn's ear.

"I've never…you might have to help me out here," Quinn whispered, flushed from both arousal and embarrassment.

"You're doing great," Rachel groaned. "Please. Make love to me."

Quinn licked a bead of sweat from Rachel's neck and sucked on the soft flesh there. She brought her other hand up to Rachel's breast and lightly pinched the firm peek. This was more familiar territory. She tried to calm her racing heart and remind herself that she could do this. She wanted to do this. She knew she needed to do this. She needed to show Rachel how loved she was. She needed to make love to her. Everything in her body screamed to plunge into the other girl and truly make her belong to Quinn. Mind, body, and soul.

"Please," Rachel pleaded again and snaked her hand down between their bodies, grabbing Quinn's wrist and leading her exactly where she needed to be.

Quinn pulled away from Rachel's neck to look her in the eyes. They both gasped as two of Quinn's fingers slid inside Rachel's tight heat.

"So good," Quinn husked.

Rachel nodded feverishly as Quinn pulled out slightly before sliding back in deeper than before. She abandoned Rachel's breast to brace herself on the other arm and thrust in at a better angle.

"Tight," Quinn whispered in awe.

Rachel nodded again, clutching to Quinn's back. Then Quinn stopped thinking all together. She was surrounded by Rachel's warmth, her walls squeezing Quinn's fingers and sucking them into her, begging for the blonde to be in deeper, to be complete. Quinn couldn't think of anything else. Her nerves were gone. It didn't matter that she'd never been with a girl before. It didn't matter that she'd rarely touched herself. All that mattered was the feel of Rachel around her fingers and the girl's breath panting into her ear, whispering her love.

Quinn switched her rhythm slightly and angling differently, finding a rougher patch inside of Rachel that made the girl suck in a quick breath.

"Okay?" Quinn asked.

"There," Rachel moaned.

Quinn smiled and curled her fingers to find that same spot again. Rachel's hips bucked up when she found it. Quinn scissored her fingers before thrusting in deeper and hitting the same spot with each thrust. Rachel was coming apart beneath her very quickly. Rachel dug her nails into Quinn's back, trying to pull her closer.

"Oh God," Rachel grunted.

"There?" Quinn asked watching Rachel's face contort in pleasure.

"God yes, there. Please, there. Don't stop," Rachel muttered, begging.

Quinn sped up her thrust, sliding in and out, quicker and quicker. Rachel's walls were tightening around her fingers. She slid all the way out and Rachel whined immediately, sinking her nails into Quinn's back. Quinn chuckled softly before sliding a third finger in. Rachel groaned throatily and it resounded right in between Quinn's own thighs.

"Fuck," Quinn husked.

Rachel's eyes fluttered open and locked on Quinn's hazel ones. She'd never seen the brunette's eyes so pitch black. She was flushed and panting and had never been more beautiful.

"Perfect," Quinn sighed before smashing her lips against Rachel's.

Rachel squeaked into the kiss as Quinn picked up the pace in her thrust. The rhythm was getting sloppy and she couldn't quite keep up with the pace she wanted to go. Rachel couldn't seem to get enough either way. The angle kept changing just slightly as Quinn tried to keep the pace going quickly. Her arms were burning with the effort and she was coated in a slick sheen of sweat. She kept attacking Rachel's lips with her own. Then finally, with a swipe of her thumb over Rachel's clit when her fingers found that spot inside the other girl once again, Rachel's walls clenched and fluttered, squeezing Quinn's fingers as she climaxed. Her release gushing around Quinn's fingers.

"Quinn," Rachel exhaled.

Rachel's walls seemed to keep fluttering for several moments. Quinn kept her fingers inside the other girl, letting her calm down. She slid out a little then pushed back in a few times to prolong Rachel's climax. The brunette groaned deeply and her walls clenched again. After several moments, Quinn slipped her fingers out watching in awe as Rachel's cum slid out of her center with them. Quinn had the urge to taste her own fingers but wasn't sure if that would be too much for both of them their first time. She wiped them on her shorts before moving off Rachel to snuggle up next to her while the brunette caught her breath.

Rachel turned her head to gaze at the blonde.

"That was…" Rachel trailed off with a blush.

"Hot," Quinn smirked.

"Yes, certainly. But…are you sure that was your first time with a girl?" Rachel giggled.

Quinn nodded with a grin.

"You are so amazing. I've never…amazing," Rachel praised, rolling closer to Quinn and kissing her gently.

When she pulled back, she traced her eyes over each contour of the blonde's face.

"I love you," Rachel whispered.

"That might be the orgasm talking," Quinn teased.

"Shut up," Rachel laughed and playfully slapped her arm.

Quinn was quick and grabbed Rachel's hand pulling the other girl into her. She kissed her hungrily. Rachel smirked into the kiss and trailed her other hand that wasn't still locked in Quinn's grasp down the blonde's front, skipping over her breasts and leading straight into her shorts.

"I already asked you to take this off. Do I really need to ask you again? Or are you planning on making me beg?" Rachel asked playfully, teasing fingers around Quinn's mound inside her shorts.

"Take them off," Quinn ordered breathlessly.

"My turn," Rachel bit her lip as she peeled Quinn's shorts off.

Quinn held her breath as Rachel traced her body up and down. She blushed when Rachel's heated gaze settled between the blonde's legs. Quinn unconsciously attempted to close her legs. Rachel reached up immediately, spreading the blonde. Her eyes met Quinn's.

"You're unbelievably gorgeous," Rachel smiled.

"Come here," Quinn beckoned.

Rachel slithered back up Quinn's length, settling on top of her. They both moaned at the feeling of their naked bodies pressed completely against each other. Rachel connected their lips, skating her tongue along the seem of Quinn's lips. Quinn opened her mouth to greedily accept the other girl's tongue but Rachel retreated, teasing her. It became a game, never give Quinn exactly what she wants. Rachel fought her own laughter when the blonde grunted in frustration. Quinn's fingers made their way into Rachel's hair, holding her in place as she pried open her mouth and tangling their tongues. The low moan Rachel uttered in return sent a renewed wetness to Quinn's center.

Rachel pulled away and trailed her kisses down Quinn's neck to her collar bone and then finally enveloped a nipple into her mouth. Quinn grunted and bucked her hips up into Rachel. Her legs parted even more and Rachel slide her toned thigh in between them, brushing up against Quinn's wetness. A deeper grunt greeted her with that move. Quinn tried to grind her center against Rachel's thigh but the brunette was determined to tease her, never letting her get the direct contact that she craved.

"Please," Quinn panted.

Rachel smirked and teased the other nipple. Quinn's eyes fluttered shut at all of the sensations Rachel was assaulting her body with. Rachel bit Quinn's nipple playfully and the blonde's eyes flashed open. As if she hadn't already been on edge from feeling Rachel cum around her fingers, the sight of the brunette staring up at her with a nipple between her lips while sliding her hand down Quinn's stomach nearly sent the blonde crashing over into her orgasm.

Rachel's fingers gently teased Quinn's lips, pushing them apart to roughly slide against her clit. Quinn groaned again. Rachel left her breast to kiss her lips again before slipping a finger inside Quinn's warmth. Quinn's walls immediately squeezed against the intrusion, fluttering quickly.

"Rachel," Quinn hissed as the brunette slid out and then pushed back in a little further.

"Okay?" Rachel asked.

Quinn nodded several time, "More than. Please I need…"

"Tell me what you need," Rachel replied, thrusting in and out quicker and sinking in deeper into the blonde, trying to find that special spot.

"I need…more," Quinn panted.

Rachel pulled out before sliding a second finger in. Quinn moaned in response. Rachel pushed and pulled, twisting and curling, trying to find that spot that would set Quinn off. The blonde moaned and trashed against the sheets before finally grabbing onto Rachel tightly.

"There," Rachel confirmed without Quinn saying a word.

She continued to thrust in and hit that spot that made Quinn's walls flutter and her eyes squeeze shut. Quinn bucked her hips with Rachel's rhythm, meeting each thrust. She vaguely realized she was speaking but didn't know what she was saying, a string of pleading and begging, yes, and Rachel's name.

"I want to try something," Rachel husked pulling away from Quinn.

The blonde whimpered and reached to pull Rachel back to her for another kiss. Rachel kissed her nose quickly and then readjusted her body further down so she was between Quinn's thighs.

"Rachel," Quinn whined but anything else she was going to say quickly died as the brunette took a tentative swipe of Quinn's slit with the tongue.

They both moaned. Quinn at the feeling and Rachel at the taste. She knew she found her new obsession. Forget Vegan diet from now on she would surely only eat Quinn Fabray. She dove back in quickly, exploring this new territory with her tongue and lips with gusto. Nibbling on her clit. Licking up her lips. Twisting her tongue around Quinn's entrance. Then finally probing her tongue inside. She thrust her tongue in and out savoring the flavor, the smell, the feel of everything Quinn had to offer. Quinn's trembling hand found its way to Rachel's hair, tangling her fingers in it and gently insisting that the brunette stay exactly where she was.

Rachel wrapped her lips around Quinn's nub, sucking and licking. She teased it out of the hood and traced all around it and over it with her tongue. Then the brunette slid her two fingers back inside Quinn's slick heat.

"Fuck," Quinn moaned, tangling Rachel's hair tighter in her fingers, bucking her hips up a little.

Rachel hummed in content and Quinn's walls tightened. She thrust in quicker and licked furiously at Quinn's clit. Then when Quinn's walls squeezed her tightly and began to flutter, Rachel wrapped her lips around Quinn's clit again and sucked hard. Stars burst behind Quinn's eyes and she tumbled over the edge. She gushed and Rachel hungrily drank everything Quinn gave. Quinn trembled and shook while Rachel slowed her thrusts and began licking up Quinn's release, cleaning the blonde with her lips and tongue. Finally Rachel pulled away satisfied while Quinn untangled her hand and fell limply against the mattress.

"Okay?" Rachel asked, coming back up to the pillow next to Quinn and wrapping the still trembling blonde in her arms.

"I…ugh," Quinn grunted.

Rachel giggled and snuggled in closer, dropping a kiss on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn pulled Rachel's arms tighter around her and tangled their legs together.

"Jesus, Rach," Quinn laughed after a second.

"I've always wanted to try that," Rachel beamed proudly.

"I just….wow…I mean…God, I love you," Quinn smiled, kissing Rachel softly.

"That might be the orgasm talking," Rachel quipped.

"Shut up," Quinn laughed, pulling the brunette in tightly.

Rachel reached down for the sheet and covered up their naked bodies as they wrapped around each other again, leaving no spaced between them. Quinn kissed Rachel's nose gently and smiled at her. Rachel grinned in response and pecked Quinn's lips.

"Tired?" Rachel asked.

"Exhausted now," Quinn chuckled. "Are you?"

"Completely spent. Thoroughly satisfied but entirely spent."

"Sleep my love," Quinn playfully instructed.

"As you wish," Rachel yawned and tucked her head into Quinn's neck.

"I think I'm going to love being roommates even more now," Quinn giggled.

"Definitely."

Rachel placed one last gentle kiss on Quinn's neck before letting sleep take over. Quinn sighed happily just as she too succumbed to slumber.

So they moved a little fast at times and far too slow at others. They took several months to officially start dating despite loving each other possibly at first sight. Then they made love after only one real date. They spent weeks avoiding each other after meeting and taking their acquaintanceship far too slow. Their friendship was a slow building. Their love grew fast and overpoweringly. Sometimes they trotted on at an unbearable rate, second guessing and rethinking each step of their progressing relationship. But once they realized how much they loved each other, they sped on quickly. Being careful and cautious had taken months to develop their trust for each other, once formed caution flew to the wind. How can a person possibly hold back from the one their in love with?

It took a year for Rachel Berry's life to change in the best way. She had been a lonely girl who knew everything about her sexuality and her future on Broadway, but knew nothing of love. She had been rejected and humiliated time and again. But in a year, she found a girl who could love her for every part of her and be the first true friend she ever had.

It took a year for Quinn Fabray's life to change, too. She had been Daddy's little straight, Catholic princess. Now she found true love in the form of her best friend, a woman. She knew there would be a long road ahead of them. Eventually they would have to deal with her parents. Someday, Rachel would want to move to New York and in all likelihood Quinn would move with her. The time they put in and the heartache that they both caused to get to this place…it was worth it. Quinn knew everything from this past year was worth it. Everything in the future, the drama, the struggles, it would be worth it. They were a team and they would get through it together. It was worth it to hold that tiny brunette in her arms every night for the rest of their lives.

**_Someday, I'll give it all back. I'll give it all back. The time you gave. Now baby we can be alone. My baby we can be alone. My baby we can be alone.- Nasim Joon_**

_(AN: Thank you all sooo incredibly much for sticking with me even after months of silence and shitty writing on my part. Life complications took over. My friend had cancer. He's okay! My boyfriend (of 2 years) cheated on me with a close friend (of 5 years). They're both dumbasses but I'll be okay! So I apologize for all the angsty crap that happened in the story. I had a really hard time writing a love story when I was going through what I now refer to as my "Hate Everyone Phase"...so yes, it got dark. Yes, it there was some drama. But hey, check it out: Happy Ending! AND I figured out how to work in the title song after all! YAY! I apologize for the smut if it was crap. I have very little experience in writing a love scene. And I can honestly say this was my first involving two women but I'm kinda okay with how it turned out. I hope you all enjoyed Nasim Joon and again, THANK YOU for reading! I have the best readers in the world who would stick with me through all of the delays and crap! Your reviews have meant the world to me and it was rereading those reviews that got me writing again and helped me get through two very dark but very different times in my life. I owe the world to you faithful readers and hopefully we shall meet again soon in another story! Your virtual chocolates make my world go round and I can't express enough gratitude. The personal messages of encouragement and support during my friend's battle with cancer made me a stronger and better person who could help support him even more so again I can never express how much I owe you all and truly am grateful for your words! Most importantly, thank you all for again showing me that love is love no matter what race, gender, religion, or background. I think this entire experience of writing this story has helped shape me into a more open and understanding person. I got to know a different side of myself and I firmly believe that love knows no gender! Thank you again for reading and sharing this wonderful experience with me. As always: Thank you, come again! And PLEASE keep reading and reviewing all stories not just mine. Writers live for your feedback and I'm sure we all appreciate every review! See you all soon in another story!)_


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